On December 4, 2012, the Auburn University football program made a statement, but nobody is sure what it is. It could be “We don’t have a clue what we’re doing.” Or it could be “We want a head coach that we can control.” Or it could be “We asked everybody and literally everybody but one [...]
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John Gruden tells Tennessee “No”
Clay Travis is a douche, and as we all know, douches are good for only one thing. Travis, the unapologetically biased Volunteer blogger has been out front with his ridiculous fantasies of John Gruden coming to Tennessee in replacement of fired coach Derek Dooley. Today Travis’ fantasy has come to an end. Reports indicate that [...]
Arkansas vs. Auburn: Pillow fight on the plains
Today worlds collide in Lee County, Alabama as two of the most hapless programs in college football collide on the gridiron. The dysfunctional Arkansas Razorbacks (1-4) march into Jordan-Hare Stadium to take on the impotent Auburn Tigers (1-3). That’s right, combined the teams are 2-7, with impressive wins over Jacksonville State and LaMonroe (in OT). [...]
Why Alabama will beat Michigan
Denard Robinson is an amazing talent. Especially when he’s playing Navy. Or San Diego State. Or worse, today’s Notre Dame, which is not your father’s Fighting Irish. Visit any intramural field on any college campus today and you’ll find a flag-football quarterback whose throws resemble Robinson’s. His deep ball is often left up for grabs [...]
Why is Bama #2 in the AP? Saban’s plan
Today the AP released its preseason poll for the 2012 football season, and there at #2 sits the Crimson Tide of Alabama. Last month the coaches voted Bama #3, though if figured in the post-Tyrann Mathieu era the Tide may have faired even better. But stop for a moment and let this sink in. 2012′s [...]
Washed up Jim Brown calls Trent Richardson “ordinary”
Jim Brown is an idiot. The bruising running back who made his name when weight training in the NFL was considered science fiction has fired off his mouth again. Brown, a bitter, washed up NFL legend, had a few unconstructive things to say about his former team’s acquisition of former Alabama running back and Doak [...]
Hoover braces for baseball tournament without Bama
As the Southeastern Conference baseball tournament begins, Hoover businesses are getting ready to feel, well, not much of anything. Since the Alabama baseball team invented new and creative ways of being terrible this season, the city of Hoover will feel the brunt of their malfeasance with lower than normal revenue over the week and weekend. [...]
Hey NFL, I’ll risk a concussion if you’ll give me a shot
Would someone reading this please help me? I’ve got a real problem on my hands and I’m out of answers. I’ve lost count of the number of days and nights NFL reps have pounded on my door trying to force me to play professional football. All I simply want to do is follow my dream [...]
Auburn’s Gus Malzahn not going anywhere anytime soon
Auburn’s offensive coordinator, Gus Malzahn, is an offensive guru. Need proof? Just ask any kool-aid slurping Auburn fan who still worships at his feet. Poll any barn dweller and they would gladly shed Auburn Head Coach Gene Chizik before letting Malzahn go. In fact, when Camgate was still in session, one fan I had a [...]
Bama in the NFL; final week of the preseason
Well, the final preparations are done, and with the NFL season set to kick off in about a week, the final roster spots are being filled. We’ll keep you posted on your favorite Tide players regarding who goes where, who gets cut, and who is taking their game to the next level in football’s premiere [...]
Chizik’s Energy Vampire
With yesterday’s and today’s revelations that the NCAA is not only still investigating Auburn’s widely-alledged illegal recruitment of Cam Newton, but that the governing organization may actually know who the bagman is, it’s a valid point that the Chizik household may need to clean the guest bedroom. Looks like they have company. (Follow me on [...]
AU holding the bag as Newtons sail on
The scariest thing about doing business with a piece of garbage like Cecil Newton is the waiting game. It’s not a matter of if he’ll open his mouth and say too much, but a matter of when. And as the investigation Auburn fans said was over rambles on, as spoken from the lips of the [...]
Best coach in the country?
You’re alone, Jay. In the endless flow of Lee County propaganda, does anyone actually believe the blather trickling from the Auburn Athletic Director’s mouth in the press conference announcing Chizik’s new deal? Apparently Florida didn’t. When the Gators recently needed a new coach, where did they turn? To alumnus Gene Chizik, fresh off of a [...]
Onterio McCalebb arrested
Another Auburn football player has been arrested; this time it’s Auburn running back Onterio McCalebb. If you’re keeping score at home, this is number six since the end of the 2010 season, that we know of. Today, according to CBSSports.com, McCalebb was picked up on May 14th, for driving an “unregistered vehicle.” The second half [...]
A glimpse at Coach Goodwin’s trash can
According to the words of his former player, Homewood High School’s (Birmingham, AL) Coach Doug Goodwin is a piece of work. Brent Calloway’s recent interview with Tidesports.com paints a grim picture of a man teetering on the edge of odd if not childish behavior. From the interview: “Like the week of signing day I had [...]
Where Jeff Lee’s ideas come from
While people are laughing at AuburnSports.com “writer” Jeffrey Lee for his recent actions on an Alabama radio station, the question has to be asked. Where does he get his information from? Lee has a longstanding and unapologetic love for Auburn football, and an apparent subsequent loathing for its rivals. Hardly a “journalist”, his site’s hand [...]
Auburn’s new billboard
It’s been said before that perception is reality. If that is indeed the case, then from sea to shining sea, the “reality” is that Auburn is the dirtiest program in all of college football. Because, nationally, overwhelmingly, that is the perception. Nobody buys that Cam Newton turned down six digits to come to Auburn for [...]
Smoke in Lee County: NCAA vs. Street Agents
Might want to find your place of safety; there are more storm clouds on the horizon. The NCAA has a mess on its hands, trying to regulate, monitor or outright get rid of the use of “street agents” used in college football recruiting. News broke yesterday that the University of Oregon is under the NCAA’s [...]
SHOCK: Smith arrested and no one reported it
For years we have beaten the drum here that there is a double standard with the media in our state. Here, friends, is yet another example. Charles Goldberg is reporting today, FINALLY….a WEEK LATER…that Auburn running back Eric Smith was arrested for third degree domestic violence. Yesterday Auburn officials announced he had been dismissed from [...]
UT, who’s staring down the barrell now?
Well, well, well. Almost nine years ago to the day, our friends from East Tennessee were sipping moonshine, throwing hoot’n’nannies and kissing each other on the mouths in celebration of “the evil empire” in Tuscaloosa being brought to their knees by the NCAA. My, my, my, my, my. How times have changed. Now it’s the [...]
Oh yeah…Bama beats UT in Knoxville, again
Knoxville, TN – Caught amid the Cyrus Kouandjio news, the University of Alabama basketball team took down the Tennessee Volunteers in Knoxville Saturday night. The win marks the second time Bama has humbled the Vols on their turf in the past four months. The Tide slapped the Volunteers 41-10 in football on October 23rd in [...]
Another Auburn star bolts for the NFL…in secret
The Birmingham News is reporting that Auburn junior Darvin Adams is bolting for the NFL draft. Adams was Auburn’s leading receiver the last two seasons, with 60 catches in 2009 and 52 in 2010. The DJ Hall look-alike joins fellow Tigers Cameron Jerrell Newton and Nick Fairley in electing to forego their senior seasons to [...]
State Media Accountability: Charles Goldberg
Charles Goldberg, the Auburn flunky…errr…Auburn beat writer for the Birmingham News is at it again. The Auburn apologist this time has published what looks like a press release direct from the Auburn athletic department in defense of Cecil Newton being at the Auburn-Oregon game last Monday night. The NCAA made their feelings clear in regard [...]
Auburn, your god hath foresaken thee
Barely a year after stepping on campus, the object of worship for the Awbuhn Fambly has left the building. Cameron Jerrell Newton has declared he will enter the NFL draft. The man at the center of the pay-for-play investigation is leaving the pasture for greener pastures, where the green doesn’t come in hundreds of thousands [...]
Now they’re really all in
Despite enough circumstantial evidence to make even the most objective observer amazed, last Saturday Auburn University spoke loud and clear by playing the clearly ineligible Cam Newton: “Weeeeeeeeee!” Winning is fun, and Auburn is enjoying their most successful season in years. The problem is, what lies just beyond the instant gratification they are opting for [...]
Capstone Saturdays: It Didn’t Happen
Keep those heads buried, Auburn. Keep ‘em buried. USC did too. There are dark days ahead for Auburn University.
Tennessee’s Phil Fulmer wants a job
Former Tennessee Volunteer coach Phil Fulmer was begging for a job Saturday. He called out Lane Kiffin and by imputation current Tennessee athletic director Mike Hamilton on television. One thing we know about Fulmer is that he knows how to campaign for a job. He stabbed former Tennessee coach Johnny Majors in the back to [...]
“Welcome Coach” t-shirts
Fridays this fall a new t-shirt design will be featured on capstonereport.com for that Saturday’s game, and the following Monday you can order the shirt with the score included. We figure since you come here for college football smack, you ought to have a t-shirt to go along with it. This week’s shirt commemorates the [...]
ITK: A legend returns to Bryant-Denny
This Saturday, Bryant-Denny Stadium will host two legendary coaches, and one in the making. Joe Paterno will likely make his final visit to Tuscaloosa, at least as a coach, as he brings his #14 Nittany Lions to the house that Bear built. Fittingly, the contest will take place on Bryant’s birthday. Also in attendance will [...]
Auburn burns as the denials mount
At this point only the most delusional Auburn fan…and there is an army of them…would believe there hasn’t been any funny business going on down on the farm…for years. Once again, the impartial national media…not Bama Magazine, Capstone Report or Tider Insider subscribers…has continued sniffing around the cow patties in Lee County, and once again, [...]