Have you ever been at the office, at a party or anywhere for that matter, when a guy comes up to you and says: “Hey, listen to this joke I got. It is hilarious!” Then he proceeds to tell you the joke and it doesn’t live up to its billing? Few things in life are [...]
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Auburn’s Gus Malzahn not going anywhere anytime soon
Auburn’s offensive coordinator, Gus Malzahn, is an offensive guru. Need proof? Just ask any kool-aid slurping Auburn fan who still worships at his feet. Poll any barn dweller and they would gladly shed Auburn Head Coach Gene Chizik before letting Malzahn go. In fact, when Camgate was still in session, one fan I had a [...]
Auburn Leprechaun at it again
In a shocking turn of events, Auburn won’t have to face a team that’s at full strength. The news of LSU’s suspension of three key players for their game with Auburn this weekend actually isn’t shocking at all. It’s straight from the Auburn script. Dad told me about a thing called Auburn luck as a [...]
Bama in the NFL – Week 6
Another week down in the NFL season, and former Bama players now in the big league continue to make their mark. Performances of note were Rolondo McClain’s six tackle performance against Cleveland in Oakland’s emotional win, their first home win since the death of longtime Raider’s owner Al Davis. Also noteworthy was Jarret Johnson’s five [...]
Garcia out: Auburn catches another break
In the seemingly never ending saga of breaks, the Auburn University football program has caught yet another one. Today South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier dismissed starting quarterback Stephen Garcia for the seventh and final time. You heard that right people. The Gamecock QB had been suspended six times prior to this dismissal, and had [...]
Bama in the NFL – Week 5
Week five in the NFL featured a rematch between Bama’s Mark Ingram and Abarn’s Cam Newton. This time Ingram prevailed, contributing one touchdown to the 30-27 Saints win. New Orleans, now 4-1, sits atop the NFC South, while Newton, for all his sanctimonious persona and personal highlights, is dragging the bottom of the league at [...]
Steve Spurrier should retire
Congratulations to University of South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier for winning CapstoneReport.com’s “Peep of the Week” award. Is there a softer head coach in all of America than Steve Spurrier? Known for his love for golf and disdain for long days at the office, his apparent deplorable work ethic has been laid bare for [...]
Bama in the NFL – Week 4
With the NFL regular season now a quarter of the way through, the contenders are beginning to step forward. The Crimson Tide has a presence on teams like Green Bay, Houston, Buffalo, New England and Baltimore, who appear to be on their way to good seasons. The ‘Bama highlight of the weekend had to be [...]
Bama in the NFL – Week 3
It’s week three in the NFL, and Bama had several impact players in key games. Mark Ingram scored his first NFL regular season touchdown against Houston, Rolondo McClain racked up seven tackles against the Jets, DeMeco Ryans had the same number of tackles against New Orleans, and Julio Jones put on a receiving clinic agaist [...]
Bama in the NFL – Week 2
Technically one Alabama player’s team is in action tonight in the Monday Night Football matchup between the St. Louis Rams and the New York Giants. However, the player, Marquis Johnson for St. Louis, is listed as an active player, though “physically unable to perform”. So since he won’t record any stats tonight, we’ll go ahead [...]
PETA: “Auburn, stop pre-game eagle flights”
It’s just not fair. First the FBI, then the NCAA, now PETA. Auburn just can’t seem to get up off the mat. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have spoken, and they want Auburn to stop using eagles for the pre-game jollies of its fans. “Animals aren’t performers or party decorations, and they don’t [...]
Bama in the NFL – Week One
The stats are in; here’s how players with Alabama ties did in week one of the 2011 NFL season: Arizona Cardinals (1-0) – defeated CAR, 28-21 Rashad Johnson, DB – listed as the back-up at SS; no stats recorded. Atlanta Falcons (0-1) – lost to CHI, 30-12 Julio Jones, WR – 5 catches, 71 yards [...]
Auburn the luckiest team in America? You decide.
Auburn has long been known as the luckiest team in the country. After two close calls against mediocre (at best) opposition, the Tigers sit at 2-0 when almost any other program would be 0-2. Here are some startling statistics for you: On Defense, AU has played 181 snaps on defense so far. That’s last in [...]
How good is Mississippi State? Not very.
If you’re looking for a barometer of how good Mississippi State is, here’s what you need to know: The Bulldogs flexed their muscles against Memphis in the opening weekend, winning by 45. Arkansas State then turned around and did the same thing in week two, winning by 44. Dan Mullen, Mississippi State’s head coach, is [...]
Peep of the Week: The Georgia Bulldogs
CapstoneReport.com introduces a new weekly feature here on the website: The Peep of the Week. If you’re not familiar, Peeps are a light, fluffy, tasty marshmallow treat guaranteed not to fill you up if eaten, or hurt you if thrown at your face at 30mph from two feet away. Like this fluffy snack, this week’s [...]
Final 2011 NFL rosters in; 24 Tiders make the cut, 8 get cut
The rosters are in for the 2011 NFL season. Each team had to whittle its roster down to the league required 53 players. In doing so eight Tiders got pink slips. But twenty-four made the cut. Here’s the complete run down: Arizona Cardinals Brodie Croyle, QB – cut (Is this the end for the injury-prone [...]
Auburn rolls Toomer’s Corner after win over hapless Utah State
Following the Tiger’s “courageous” comeback against Utah State, the Auburn cult Fambly rolled Toomer’s Corner. Auburn trailed a team that went 4-8 last season, didn’t record a win against a top 25 team and went 2-6 in the WAC in 2010. In fact, if you’re counting at home the Aggies… • Went 4-8 in 2010 [...]
ITK Predictions for Alabama, Auburn for 2011
Well, we’ve finally made it. As the clock strikes midnight the offseason finally dies the gnarly death it deserves. Never in my memory can I remember an offseason filled with more B.S. than this one. From orchestrated PR stunts involving widespread publicity surrounding one cuckoo’s actions poisoning some already dying trees, to the horrible tragedy [...]
Bama NFL Rookies, week 2 (preseason)
Mark Ingram, RB, New Orleans (27-14 loss to HOU) 7 carries, 25 yards (3.6 avg), 1 TD Ingram continues to look like the NFL runningback we knew him to be. Marcel Dareus, DT, BUF (24-10 loss to DEN) 1 tackle (solo sack), 1 QB hit The Huffman High School native is on his way to [...]
Trouble in the Fambly: Gene Chizik throws Clint Moseley under the bus
Have you seen the video of Auburn quarterback Clint Moseley? You know, the one where he has to face the media to own up to his failure to win the starting job? If you haven’t, you can see it here. But I have to warn you, it’s painful to watch. Apparently, part of being in [...]
Bama NFL rookies – Week One (Preseason)
With the first week of preseason football behind us, here’s how former Bama players in their first stint of action did: Mark Ingram, Saints 6 carries, 23 yards (3.8 avg, 14 long), 1 TD The 2009 Heisman Trophy Winner looked like an NFL back, carrying with authority. Good start including the 14 yard scamper for [...]
No Michael Dyer at Auburn; the B’ham News still not doing its job
Have you heard that runningback Michael Dyer has been a basic no-show at Auburn practice this summer? Of course you haven’t. Charles Goldberg is the beat writer for the Birmingham News. I guess the talking points he gets and regurgitates directly from the Auburn Sports Information department say in a bold, 24-point font: “DON’T SAY [...]
What if Kent State had never invested in Nick Saban?
Alabama head coach Nick Saban held a press conference yesterday, a typical practice during summer camp. At first glance there wasn’t anything special about it. To my disappointment, no outbursts or rants (Sorry, but those are priceless). But if you were listening, there was one nugget offered that made me think. In the midst of [...]
Breaking: Brent Calloway at UA practice
Reports from several sources have AU smear campaign target Brent Calloway at practice and working at runningback tonight in Tuscaloosa. The Tide’s newcomers hit the field for the first time tonight at 7:30pm. His grades are in, and despite the alleged best efforts of a certain former coach and possibly others back home, Brent is [...]
An Open Letter to Kevin Scarbinsky
Dear Kev, I hope the day finds you well. I’ve got a fantastic news tip for you. I send you this letter here because I’m afraid that if I took the email route it’d get buried in your inbox. You know, under all tips and facebook photos sent from angry Auburn fans. Wait; I’m sure [...]
UA Speaks regarding T-Town Menswear, and Bama laughs at AU again
For rival Alabama fans….ahem, Auburn….holding to the masturbatory fantasy involving Bama players and T-Town Menswear, the University of Alabama has spoken. “Doh!” Your little fantasy just took a hit! Late today Mike Ward, University of Alabama Associate Athletics Director for Compliance, released this statement, addressing recent inquiries regarding Mr. Tom Albetar of T-Town Menswear in [...]
Speaking of Suits…Cam?
Appears Cam liked him some suits when he was in college too. And not from a middle tier mall clothing shop either. You can enjoy a larger view here. This came from an anonymous tip, featured now on 247 Sports. A visit to Buckelew’s in Montgomery may help identify these threads. If you don’t know [...]
Report: B’ham News fails again
A couple of weeks ago I was working in my front yard when I saw a man going door-to-door. You’ve been there. You cringe because you know he’s coming to your house soon. It was hot, and out of compassion for his efforts I had predetermined I would likely buy whatever he was selling to [...]
Clay Travis thinks black people can’t afford nice things
Today the ever controversial smear blogger Clay Travis appeared on Birmingham’s WJOX pimping his new website, and his words were perhaps very telling of his agenda regarding his latest story. Travis had reported on the Cam Newton investigation on his site’s first day, but launched into a speculation piece the following day after being “tipped [...]
Bama plummets to #3 in the BCS standings
I’ve got a news flash for you. The current system of determining a national champion in the FBS is broken. With the Crimson Tide’s narrow loss to LSU Saturday night, Alabama plummeted from its second spot in the BCS poll…to third. Now don’t get me wrong. While the game was a kick in the pants [...]