Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn

Auburn fans probably won’t read this; reality isn’t their style.

But amid the gloating and celebration following one of the most improbable regular seasons in Auburn history, let this be a word to the wise:

Like Gustav Malzahn, Terry Bowden looked fantastic for a year or two.

Bowden came on the scene in 1993 following the crumbling of the Pat Dye Empire. Shortly after words like “Keep it down home, cuz” were uttered by the udder-loving brethren of Lee County, Tiny Tot waddled from Samford to Auburn an apparent Savior.

Bowden rescued the Tiggers from the strangle-hold placed on it by that mean, Bear Bryant-like Gene Stallings, and immediately a rivalry was renewed. Bowden, the snot-nosed son of a legend, took the Tigers to 11-0, following a miraculous…sound familiar…improbable Iron Bowl win over the…sound familiar…defending National Champs. In Jordan-Hare Stadium.

Again I say, sound familiar?

Heck, insert whatever name you wish. Tommy Tuberville. Gene Chizik. These looked great for one shining moment in time. But all were evaded by something the Auburn football program has never known.

SUSTAINED SUCCESS.

Not a flash in the pan, as we’ve come to know the Tigers to be time and again. But year in and year out dominance. Something these Tigers will likely never know.

So when you think of Gustav, and all the miracles that had to fall into place in order for 2013 to occur, think Terry Bowden. From an oddsmaker’s standpoint, he will soon reside in the same abyss.

But please don’t remind your Aubie friends of the astronomical improbabilities of this kind of year happening again. Or that the man they now worship most likely won’t be there within the next three years.

Let them relive history on their own. It’s just better that way.


(Follow ITK on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)

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50 Responses to “Warning to Auburn fans: Terry Bowden looked great too” Subscribe

  1. The Conduit December 5, 2013 at 4:26 pm #

    “But Malzahn is an offensive genius!”

    I agree with the “offensive” part, but 5 near-misses is hard to recapture regardless.

    “Except Malzahn is signing a huge contract extension!”

    And he’s also signing a crippling payout for not having continued success. Besides, if contract length is so important you can simply stop the Saban-to-Texas talk.

    “At least we’re selling tickets now! I almost bought one myself!”

    That’s all Auburn really cares about. As soon as that stops (plus one puke season for good measure) Auburn will get another coach.

    “Malzahn is recruiting so cool! He even got that Bammer recruit to switch to us! Neener Gump!”

    Congrats on getting a 3-star from Opelika to finally commit to Auburn. Alabama has more depth than the Pacific Ocean and we recruit statewide, nationwide, and worldwide better than anyone.

    “You’re just mad we owned you!”

    I was mad, but you didn’t own anything, and any Alabama team would be thrilled to play this year’s Auburn team again and again.

    “My diaper’s dirty.”

    That’s what happens when your toilet paper is in the trees, Little Brother.

    • ITK December 5, 2013 at 5:14 pm #

      That’s just pure awesome. Truer words have never been spoken.

      Roll Tide!

    • Orange and Blue Troll December 6, 2013 at 8:11 am #

      Terry Bowden > Mike Dubose
      Terry Bowden > Mike Shula

      “Congrats on getting a 3-star from Opelika to finally commit to Auburn”.

      Congrats on not being able to recruit a kicker. What time do y’all play this weekend?

    • LMAO December 7, 2013 at 5:27 am #

      “Congrats on getting a 3-star from Opelika to finally commit to Auburn. Alabama has more depth than the Pacific Ocean and we recruit statewide, nationwide, and worldwide better than anyone.”

      Let me make sure I’ve got this right Conduit. According to you bama has the “Best coach” in the nation, “more debth than the Pacific Ocean” and better recruits than anyone in the world, yet your team could not even win it’s division yet alone it conference championship and your team’s record is no better than the team you like to call your little brother and who’s coach you don’t think is very good! Think about that gump!

      LMAO

      • LMAO December 8, 2013 at 2:04 pm #

        And now that team with less talent, less debt and a high school coach is going to the BCS National Championship game while your team with better talent, better depth and a “better” coach is not! Wow what do you think about that conduit for brains?

  2. Jeff Tisdale December 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

    This entire article is an oxymoron.

  3. peachy December 5, 2013 at 6:25 pm #

    This is just ridiculous. Alabama fans have taken whining to a whole new level this year. Gus has had success EVERY WHERE he has been. His success hasnt been accidental. He hasnt been a “flash in the pan”. He’s currently in his 3rd SEC Championship game and his 6th conference championship game in 8 years. thats not a fluke. He took a 3-9 team and pounded Alabama’s vaunted rush defense for 300 yards (which every Bama said would absolutely not happen) and is sitting at an astounding 11-1. Please keep telling yourselves its a fluke, it wont last, he’s leaving for Texas, etc.

    Bama fans are really going to lose their mind when he’s 2-0 head-to-head against Saban after next year.

    • ITK December 5, 2013 at 6:53 pm #

      I laughed.

    • pete4tide December 6, 2013 at 10:50 am #

      Erm – 36-0.

  4. Zoey Grais December 5, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

    A year or two? Bowden played in the SEC championship in 1997 — and would’ve won it if not for a 63 yard TD pass from PEYTON MANNING to Peerless Price. Powerful/infill influential booster(s) is the reason Bowden left AU.

    Let’s not rewrite history.

    • bamabino December 5, 2013 at 10:11 pm #

      Bowden boinking Bobby Lowders’ daughter is the reason he was run out of Auburn. That and exposing Barner Fife’s pay-for-play ways.

      • pete4tide December 6, 2013 at 10:52 am #

        This.

        It’s why he didn’t stay at UNA as well.

  5. bamabino December 6, 2013 at 9:50 am #

    LMAO@ a fan of ChopBlock University talking about cheapshots. Wha ta loser.

  6. 109yds in 1sec December 6, 2013 at 10:07 am #

    Cheapshot bambino. You damn right that was a Cheapshot.Once again a bammer crowing about something that was talked about YEARS ago. I am talking about the last game. More bammer class…. That kid should be suspended for at least the next game. If saban is so big on running a clean program , he should make an example of this kid. Lose with class you damn hillbillies. lol

    • bamabino December 6, 2013 at 10:23 am #

      Glenn Dorsey’s knee begs to differ to this very day.

    • pete4tide December 6, 2013 at 10:58 am #

      OK – whatever your name-of-the-day is – I’m pretty sure that if I was slavishly re-watching the Iron Bowl 23 times a day like the Boog Nation, I could find a perfectly legitimate tackle/block/hit that I could interpret as a cheap shot on the part of the Boog players, but I just don’t have time for that. Nor do I have time to go to ANY barner website to troll and post said videos.

      Thanks for the obsession. We’ll be back again next season. Will the Barn?

      How much did the University of Auburn pay for Marshall? Will we hear about his church/club/YMCA getting a new building in the offseason?

      Or will you all just fade away after Mizzou takes you to the woodshed?

      • bamabino December 6, 2013 at 11:57 am #

        Straight on. I don’t care to even read the drivel on Barner websites, much less care to post on their boards. Every Bama site however is infested with Cow Tech sociology majors.

  7. The Conduit December 6, 2013 at 10:34 am #

    You got me again, new guy.

    I watched this again, by request, and I can’t see any hit at all. Maybe you posted the wrong video? Or maybe it just plain didn’t happen. But you got me to watch it. Well played.

    I love the new guy who has already called me words that would be considered hate crimes if they were face-to-face (not that he goes to football games) is teaching the rest of us about class.

    I don’t take dieting advice from Ronald McDonald, I don’t take marriage advice from Larry King, and I definitely don’t take spelling, grammar, punctuation or class advice from a bandwagon Auburn fan.

    • LMAO December 7, 2013 at 11:07 am #

      Hey Conduit you got a second? I’d like to run something by you!

      LMAO

  8. got a second? December 6, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

    Those lumbering lineman trying to catch Davis, was glorious to watch. Not to mention, that close line block on the kicker, number 99, was also spine tingling, for him. LOL. It was a classic. To watch the bammers have their heart torn out by this Mickey Mouse, high school offense, that gained 300 yds. rushing on their vaunted defense, was almost too much to absorb. IT has been almost a week, and I am still relishing this victory. Bwaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can now go back and rely on your MNC’s that you backed into for comfort. This Bus is rolling and it aint going anywhere. Maybe your coaching god can get the rules changed to slow the game down so that your players don’t get injured. By the way, have you sent nick and terri their thank you notes yet. After all, they feel unappreciated.

  9. got a second? December 6, 2013 at 2:32 pm #

    bwaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. got a second? December 6, 2013 at 2:33 pm #

    That video up there is beautiful to watch.

  11. got a second? December 6, 2013 at 2:35 pm #

    Wonder where the bammer “legend” is? You know, the finebaum caller who says that bammer is the “Ali” of football. Looks like Ali got knocked out.

  12. Crimsonite December 6, 2013 at 10:34 pm #

    It only goes to show that there can be a silver lining in the most fetid pile of shit. Instead of getting rid of Saban, it’s a strong probability that Awbies victory sealed their doom. Saban just signed a new contract and you just have to think that no way in hell the winningest coach would leave on a losing note to his most hated opponent. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You very much, dumbasses. RTR!

  13. Hate Smurf Coach December 8, 2013 at 12:02 am #

    Hey Mullets, one word Pasadena…wish you were there? Sorry you can’t stop a high school trick offense who just ran over 500 yards in the SEC Championship game.

    Tell Nicky the fantasy island midget that we are gonna get another crystal ball in our trophy case. How does that make you feel. You see, most Auburn GRADUATES cheer for Auburn because we attended school there not just because we bought a cap at WalMart.

    • The Conduit December 8, 2013 at 9:51 am #

      Yeah, I wish i was there in Pasadena. I went there a few years ago to watch Alabama win a title. It was great. Do you wish you were going? Why not go? You should go.

      • LMAO December 8, 2013 at 2:00 pm #

        Looks like they are going Conduit, you foolish gump! Did you learn a lesson from this? I’m sure not! Gumps will always be gumps!

    • MissNonce December 10, 2013 at 7:18 pm #

      Good call, AUgraduatestudent! I read a hard copy earlier today, and came to this site to see if someone actually spent time writing such palaver.
      This article from last year is a delicious gourmet recipe for Crimson Tide Crow. Set your table, and bon appetite, InTheKnow.

  14. 59-42 SEC Champs December 8, 2013 at 1:26 am #

    Any Alabama fans on here have a national championship ticket for sale? I could use about 4 of them. War Eagle have fun watching it on TV

  15. 59-42 SEC Champs December 8, 2013 at 1:28 am #

    Anybody have a second? I need to see who has national championship tickets

  16. 34-28 December 8, 2013 at 5:27 am #

    You waste time writing an article about a coach who was 3-2 against Alabama. Brilliant.

  17. bamabino December 8, 2013 at 9:05 am #

    From 0-8 in the SEC to a berth in the NCG with the same suckie players from last year with the exception of a hired thief at QB. Aubie’s boys must be on some serious roids. Explains it perfectly. Mason runs 46 times and is as fresh as a baby’s butt in the 4th quarter. That’s roids. Check out his pics from last year to this year. No one puts on that type of muscle mass unless he’s juicing.

  18. HUNH December 8, 2013 at 9:28 am #

    SEC Champs!

  19. HUNH December 8, 2013 at 10:38 am #

    Wow CSR is now removing posts because they hurt their feelings? This is AWESOME! Instead of the typical ” we got 32″ or ” ROWWWW TAHD” come back, the CSR crew is now having to delete posts!!!! ROFLMMFAO! I guess cantdoit is not only a bitch, but a menstrual one at that!!! SEC CHAMPS!!!

  20. Hoopie December 8, 2013 at 1:35 pm #

    Tater Tot did not know how to recruit talent and that ruined him. He also clearly fought with Lowder. Tubs fought with Lowder also ..you know …ol’ “Fear the Thumb” Tubs. The Feds have neutered Lowder and he is no longer an influence.

    Gus is recruiting talent and he sure seems to know how to do more with less that Nick can.

    I’m not worried.

    Maybe you are tho ..this sure smacks of nerves on you Bammers part.

  21. Auburn 2013 SEC Champs December 8, 2013 at 5:38 pm #

    Anybody got a second? I need to buy some national title tickets

  22. J W December 8, 2013 at 6:12 pm #

    I”M looking for Sugar Bowl tickets if any one don”t use.Holler right here and i get with you.

  23. Autuba December 9, 2013 at 1:59 pm #

    Fran looked good for a while….Shula looked good for a while…DuBose looked good for a while…

  24. brent December 10, 2013 at 6:18 am #

    This is the best article ever…I hope this was written by the same guy that wrote the article here last Dec 2012 about how horrible a hire Gus Malzahn was, how he wouldnt win a game. LOVE reading the Bammers so tore up over this. LOVE IT! First they reviewed every play about 100 times of the Iron Bowl and obsessed on a couple of “bad calls”, petitioned for rematch (a move that looked so sad nationally, and embarrassing)…then they knew Mizz would stomp us. I LOVE THIS!!!!! The entire nation knows what assholes Bama fans are, they are as happy as we are you lost in the most famous college game in history on TV in front of millions. On the flip side, almost everyone was pulling for Auburn that didnt have a dog in the fight, and they still do, read the polls. WDE!!!!

  25. Crimsonite December 10, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

    I’m going to enjoy watching the BCSNCG and pulling for a school I hate for the second time in 4 years. Last time it was Oregon. This time it’s Free Shoes U. Bwaa Haww Haww! Be fun to see Awbie lose, even if it ends the State’s and SEC’s records. Hopefully the bastards have used up their allotment of really absurd lucky plays and want to see if they have to dial up three or four really dirty plays to win like they did in 2010.

  26. bamabino December 5, 2013 at 8:44 pm #

    For those living in reality, the only way Barner Fife has beat Saban is to hire a thug thief QB from the JUCO ranks that had already been sent packing by other SEC teams. Quite a disturbing trend to glorify thug thieves like SCam Newton and MushMouth Marshall.4.4 speed is not hard to attain when it’s learned running from the police. I believe you Barner swags call it low-runnin.

  27. Jeff December 6, 2013 at 12:28 am #

    Bamabino,

    What year did you graduate from bama? Thanks.

  28. 34-28 December 8, 2013 at 5:32 am #

    Didn’t Auburn beat bama in 07 too?

  29. The Conduit December 6, 2013 at 8:45 am #

    And yet he has 3 titles in four years at one school.

    The University of Alabama doesn’t build statues for players who spend less than 7 months in the county. Alabama builds statues for coaches who win national championships.

    Wow, you are really, really bad at this.

  30. bamabino December 6, 2013 at 9:42 am #

    Three titles in 4 years trumps the Barntards entire football history. LMAO

  31. bamabino December 6, 2013 at 9:48 am #

    Neither SCam Newton or MushMouth Marshall are a man. They’re common thieves who were arrested for such and kicked off their former teams. It’s no surprise they ended up as highly glorified athletes at Cow Tech and are worshipped as gods.

  32. The Conduit December 6, 2013 at 10:18 am #

    I love it.

    You complain every year (on Alabama fan sites) that Alabama fans brag too much about winning as many national championships, then Auburn wins one Iron Bowl thanks to Alabama making uncharacteristic mistakes and you’d swear Gus Malzahn was just elected the savior of the free world.

    Let me know when Auburn controls its own destiny for once.

  33. blitz41 December 9, 2013 at 10:15 pm #

    Wow that’s great ideology that you have there bambino. If somebody screws up once in there life, they never deserve a second chance to turn there life around. Sure nick marshal may have had problems his freshmen year of college, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t deserve a second chance. And he sure has turned his life around since he got to auburn. If he was continuing in these illegal acts while at auburn it would be a different story entirely. I hope that you’ve never done anything wrong in your life bambino, because if you have according to your ideology you don’t ever deserve a second chance and must live a life of rejection and failure.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Sighs of relief heard in Alabama as Browns shun Gus, hire Pettine | Capstone Report - January 24, 2014

    […] Remember him? 11-0 his first season, winning his first 20 games until the wheels started coming off. He was a genius. He toppled Bama’s string of immediate success in the early 1990′s. Then Auburn fell off the face of the planet. […]

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