Please stop with all the pink in football

Last season was the first time I noticed it. Football players wearing pink on Saturdays and Sundays. It may have happened in years past, but the first time I recall seeing it was the fall of 2011.

First it was wristbands. Then hand towels. Then cleats. Then the officials’ whistles and hats. Then the goalpost cushions. And of course the breast cancer awareness ribbon painted on the field.

Then, I’ll never forget being in Gainsville last year for the ‘Bama-Florida game, watching college football in a restaurant outside the stadium leading up to kick-off. And there it was: Indiana University had traded their white interlocking IU logo on the side of their helmets for a pink one.

Let me repeat, a team actually substituted the color pink on its uni’s for the standard issued, university sanctioned white. One small step for man, one giant leap for the political correctness insanity that is bringing our country to its knees.

Now here’s the deal, before you react, let’s get something straight. I realize what all the pink fuss is about. It’s about raising awareness for breast cancer, the second most common form of cancer in women. Early detection is key, and women need to be reminded to have mammograms and/or check themselves regularly.

Going deeper, who doesn’t like boobies? Show me. Show me the person out there, man or woman, that is FOR breast cancer? Show me the person out there that is anti-boobs. Boobies are a wonderful gift that the good Lord bestowed upon mankind, and saving the lives of women is definitely a worthwhile endeavor.

But for the love of everything good, do I HAVE to watch Monday Night Football and see receivers in pink gloves? Do I have to see the Chicago Bears coaching staff in pink hats? Is there a single life that will be saved because Matte Forte is wearing a pink chin strap?

Look, I get it. Football is a man’s sport, watched primarily by…surprise…men. So inundate men with this ridiculous pink exercise every October so they’ll get involved with the effort. But hey, men don’t have unlimited access to boobies anyway. If you don’t believe me, go home from work today and institute your own unannounced “check” on your wife. You’ll be met with lots of things, none of which are warm and receptive to your concern.

Now, by the same token, I believe pink DOES have a place in football, but it should be used as a punishment. For instance, the entire Arkansas Razorback football team should have to wear pink for their play this season. And if Auburn loses to them this Saturday, the Tigers should have to don the pink. And Cam Newton, for all his pouting and childish behavior, should have to wear a pink helmet, signifying the pusskit that he truly is…though I don’t think he would mind it:

But getting back, what I’m saying is, of all the things on TV, the majority of which are geared toward women, can’t we leave football alone? Isn’t HGTV the place to drench in pink? Isn’t every drama on network TV geared toward the fairer sex? Shouldn’t Pinterest be the proper target online?

Men like women. Men like their boobies. And men want women to take the natural precautions necessary to remain healthy and be who God created them to be.

But dangit, please stop the madness and quit with the pink in football. Today I sound the drum. Please…please…leave the political correctness at the turnstyle and let one of man’s last remaining possessions remain manly. Hasn’t America been feminized enough?

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