By Shane from Centerpoint
I just recently applied to trademark the phrase, “The Tubby Watch”, a descriptive nickname I came up with awhile back for the annual back and forth threats between Auburn head football coach Tommy Tuberville and the clueless Auburn University administration during contract negotiations. I guess that idea is “toast”, because the bosses decided that the marriage wasn’t worth saving. I guess the final divorce takes care of the need to purchase the domain name (copyright) too.

I hate to play marriage counselor, especially since the split is a done deal, but if the pinheads that pull the trigger had asked me, I would’ve advised them to save the $6 million and try that time-tested method of managing the coach. I know this may be above A. D. Jay Jacobs’ pay grade or ability to comprehend, but I think the embarrassing loss to Alabama could’ve been used as a motivational tool to inspire Tommy get the ship righted.

I think Auburn will suffer a 3-year setback by firing Tubby and hiring a new love. The divorce alone will snuff one year of stable recruiting, while breaking in the new guy will somewhat nullify two more. Meanwhile, the runaway train across the State is rolling over the horizon.

At the least, had Tuberville been retained, he could’ve converted his team back to the hard-nosed type of team that won 50 games in 5 years (something Auburn will probably never do again). He could’ve changed the type of player he signed. The pool of athletes who would want to play for Auburn is large enough to sign a decent class of players who would fit that mold. I believe Tommy could do something like that in 2 years or less.

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For the life of me I can’t see why you two didn’t just stick it out. You both claim you can’t see eye-to-eye, but in reality you’re just alike. You’re blatantly guilty of allowing the positive accomplishments of Nick Saban to adversely affect your decision-making process. Tuberville pulled a knee-jerk move when he went “spread eagle” and hired Tony Franklin. It failed miserably, though it wasn’t really given time to succeed. The Auburn administration succumbed to the new “give it to me now” syndrome by overreacting to one bad season, and issuing Tubs a pink slip. This move will eventually be a blunder as well. Mark it down!

I know I’m known as a huge Crimson Tide supporter, but I can be objective about Tommy Tuberville. Let’s face it Tiger fans – the man is the face of Auburn football. He is that strong leader, locked arm in arm with his men, marching on to the battlefield. Tommy is the original hard-fighting soldier. He’s the same man who gave you pride and made you happy by producing tough, NFL-caliber players, who won a ton of games.

If it wasn’t “Saban-envy”, what could’ve possibly happened in one year that would be drastic enough to cause Auburn to dump a loyal 10-year veteran with outstanding credentials for some unknown commodity that may or may not be the right fit?

Success is very hard to sustain in this brutal league. Tuberville might have had a few down years, but realistically Auburn is trading a coach who is as good or better than any candidate currently on any of their short lists. Therefore, who’s the Einstein who came up with the idea to spend $6 million plus (counting Tuberville and his assistants) to get the same product you’re getting rid of? That is just an economically-ignorant management practice.

The original Tubby Watch was carried out tongue-in-cheek. The shenanigans happening down on the Plains right now are a serious mistake. It’s sad to watch Tubby hang up his cleats, especially when a puppet like Jay Jacobs is the one holding the gun to his head.
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16 thoughts on “‘The Tubby Watch’ is toast”

  1. In the first couple of paragraphs I was almost agreeing with you Shane. Then you did the innevitable and pulled out your patented diarreah of the brain. Where you smoking the crackpipe when you wrote this turd of an article ?

    First off ………..Nobody has ever had nor will ever have a give it to me now mentality worse than Alabama. Ever.

    While I agree that Tubbs was done wrong by the dooshbag trustees, and there puppett Jacobs, thats all I agree with.

    He earned another year.But he didnt get it.

    To all the dooshes that claim Tubbs is not a moral man, IMO the only reason he left was because he was told that if he stayed , he had to fire his entire staff. He said no thanks. Slice it any way you want Bammers, but that is loyalty your team will never see with the coach of fortune Nick Saban.

    As far as losing recruits, it will depend on who is hired. If it is Will Muschamp, like a lot of people are saying, we will not only keep them, but add some more great talent. That is who I hope gets the job. Hes a fired up young go getter who can recruit. Hes also a coach that wouldnt let the defense go into the crapper…..Much like the coach that just left.

  2. I BET SHANE,FINESCUM AND SHORTY SABAN WENT TO THEIR FAVORITE GAY BAR LAST NITE TO CELEBRATE TUBBS FIRING.SHANE’S WIFE SAID THE REASON SHE DIVORCE HIM WAS BECAUSE HE HAD RATHER MAKE LOVE TO A MAN THAN A WOMAN. WE ALL KNOW SABAN AND FINESCUM ARE FAGS.

  3. The difference, Shane, between this article and your previous ones is….uh, nothing. Right on point as always!

  5. ballplay you said:

    “To all the dooshes that claim Tubbs is not a moral man, IMO the only reason he left was because he was told that if he stayed , he had to fire his entire staff. He said no thanks.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Are we talking about the same tommy Tuberville who sacrifices OC’s freely to the God’s to cover his own backside, or the new spinned out version (Tommy T 2.1, that auburn is about to put out. You know… the cannonized one…?)

  7. Bad move on Tubs by beloved AU, but it’s a tough world. My two cents rides on Cowher.

    For all you Bammers … congratulation on a fine year. Your team’s performance deserves the accolades. But stay aware of what’s going on in South Bend … I’d get nervous is Weiss flubs 2009. Saban’s ambition has to be whispering, “the only thing better that an NC at Bama is an NC at Bama AND Notre Dame.” You heard it here first … ooooh, deeelicious!!!

  8. tmc1………..I can almost see what your saying, but………Im talking about his group of coaches that hes had since Ole Miss.

  9. As much as I hate using the phrase (and I do)… Shane you really are AUbsessed.

    Alabama is about to play the most important game they’ve played in 15 years and all you can write about is Tommy Tubberville. Who cares? Just like Shula, we all knew it was coming, we just didn’t know it would be so soon.
    Give it a rest. Go dig up some dirt on Florida or something.

    RTR

  12. YO, PEOPLE! Its ALWAYS an interesting debate as to who would be a good fit at a particular school. I know you Aubies would LOVE for Mike Leach to be the next HC, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. He would be a great choice, but I can’t help but think he might be using various schools for leverage in contract negotiations. The only institutions that I believe that Leach is truly interested in are the MAJOR institutions, such as Notre Dame, Alabama, USC, Penn State, etc. As of right now, those jobs are taken but stay tuned concerning Notre Dame! BOBBY PETRINO…not much of a chance due to the clause in his contract concerning other SEC West schools. HOUSTON NUTT…well, Tubby came to AU from Ole Miss, but somehow I don’t see a repeat of snatching another Rebel HC. SKIP HOLTZ…I don’t think he’s ready for the AU experience, which includes the board of trustees. PAUL JOHNSON…don’t think so. Not after just one season at Georgia Tech. Here’s some food for thought…GARY PATTERSON, current HC at TCU. This guy is a very good defensive coach. If I’m not sadly mistaken, he has never had less that 7 wins in the 8 years he has been HC at TCU and he has had two 10-win seasons. Why hasn’t anyone hired this guy? AU should take a look at him.

  13. Hey BAMMER…..of the “MAJOR” institutions you listed, only one has more wins than Auburn in the last decade….and it ain’t bama!

    Notre Shame 73 wins
    Alabammer 75 wins
    Penn State 76 wins

    Auburn 85 wins

    In true bammer fashion, throw out the “inconvenient” facts. For those of us who still judge a program’s worth by what they do on the field, Auburn is among the elite.

    Before you start spouting archaic records and championships, remember Harvard and Yale have a combined 19 National Championships between the two.

  14. All of those wins, and yet, no national championships to show for all of that talent… and one whole SEC championship, Whoopty-doo. And if you wanna talk history, y’all have won one national championships since my *dad* was 5. Color me unimpressed, Mr. sux.

  15. “And if you wanna talk history”……my point exactly. Ya’ll win a few games, and start thinking EVERYONE else is “second tier”. Arrogant rednecks.

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