Shane: The Elephant Stomp

SEC Championship Game coverage at the Capstone Report made possible by:
Bragging Rights Shirt: Auburn got their seventh loss

By Shane from Centerpoint
Tommy Tuberville got off the bus flashing seven. He entered Bryant-Denny stadium with that trademark smirk pasted on his face and left without eighteen bowl practices, with a staff upheaval in the very near future, and some broken-hearted Auburn Tigers. He came on the field strutting like a rooster and left looking like a train had just come out of the tunnel and flattened him. Could somebody please send Tubby a copy of that great Christmas classic, “I’ll be home for Christmas”.

Early in the season, some national pundit said that the previous six Auburn victories woke a sleeping giant. That giant happens to be an elephant. Everybody knows that tigers have no business inside a ringed structure with big, healthy elephants. The battle should be no contest – it wasn’t Saturday night when Saban decided to show Tubby what old school slobber-knocking can do to a soft team. His men pounded Tubby’s troops into submission, turning a supposed battle royal into a scrimmage against the scout team.

How embarrassing must it be for the Auburn family to watch the Alabama second team defense mangle their offense in the fourth quarter and take the ball away one last time? How angry does it make the power brokers to watch the second team quarterback scorch your best defender for a last seven to put the dagger in your team’s heart?

Let’s tell it like it is. Those big, fast Bama players, who are well-conditioned and strong, have plenty of talent and depth, a great running game, and a championship-caliber defense all combined to overwhelm your smaller, less talented group of Tigers.

Besides, I don’t think that extra touchdown was an attempt to score style points for the voters. It was more of a case of the second team executing plays to perfection. Saban actually was gracious enough to call the dogs off. Don’t you think that shows more class than playing the starters during a rout?

If the men who pay Tuberville let him slide for allowing this type of total domination to occur, what will that say? That Tommy can keep his job because of the economics of the situation, or because they are foolish enough to think he has any mojo left after that season-ending spanking in front of a national TV audience?

Advertisement: Story continues below



After the game Saban leaned comfortably on the podium, with his happy wife Terry standing close, preaching the same football gospel he has from the beginning, looking confident and content. He had just finished taking control of the State and showing his adversary a perfect example of the meaning of being taken to the woodshed. Or, perhaps being a victim of “The Elephant Stomp”.

Across the stadium, Tuberville sat babbling some meaningless dribble about resurrection and how worthy he is to remain on top of a crumbling empire that started to fall apart when he panicked by changing his offensive system to counter Saban in recruiting.

To a large extent Tubby is a victim of his own success. He is the man who chose to use the Alabama game as a focal point for his survival, while at the same time, taunting his cross-state rival with gimmicks and childish gestures.

Several weeks ago, while speaking on talk radio, former Auburn coach Pat Dye, spoke of a train coming. If he knew it, the Auburn family knew it. Therefore, Tuberville had plenty of time to prepare. Realistically, in the end, there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Alabama fans walked out of that stadium after the game looking toward Florida, with Auburn’s streak and their “manhood” in hand. The sad truth for Auburn is that they probably just threw it in the trash. Don’t take this wrong, but there are bigger and better things than beating a lousy 5-7 team.

About the only purpose whipping Auburn served Bama this year was to be a tune up game for the championship. The Tide surely didn’t get any BCS help by beating such a weak team. Actually, it is kind of sad to see the Tigers reduced to being merely a stepping-stone to the SEC crown.

Meanwhile, Tuberville left Tuscaloosa with an invisible noose around his neck. He has to know that, with the extreme difference in the quality of players he saw on the field Saturday night, his career at Auburn will very possibly come to an end next year on Pat Dye Field. One more thing – Nick Saban and his red elephants may be on the other end of that hanging rope.

Separator image Posted in misc.

38 Comments

Add Yours
  1. 1
    CrimsonBrother

    HOW BOUT THEM ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDER’S
    HOW BOUT THEM ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDER’S
    HOW BOUT THEM ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDER’S
    HOW BOUT THEM ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDER’S
    HOW BOUT THEM ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDER’S
    HOW BOUT THEM ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDER’S
    HOW BOUT THEM ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDER’S

    ALABAMA……..36
    AUBURN………00

    ONE HELL OF A BEAT DOWN ALABAMA “MEAT GRINDER U” PUT ON “DIRTY” PLAYING AUBURN.

    ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOW Omnipresent and Ballplay Indian have 365 days to suck on each others BIG TOE!!!

    Shane, it’s amazing to me how you get these General Robert E. Lee County cockroaches out from under their rock’s.

  2. 2
    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Your right Shane (though the blind squirrell and the nut thing applies here). It wasnt the fact that we lost, but how we lost. We got flat took to thw shed Saturday. I believe the powers that be will gove Tubberville another year. If he goes any less than 8 or 9 wins, hes gone. The difference was like night and day on the feild. Tubberville was almost smiling , and then would clap as we would choke. Then I saw Saban ripping his punter a new one when he shanked that punt in the third when yall were up 32-0. That is the difference. Saban demands excellence in all facets of the game. Tubbberville just wants a win. Yall had better thank your lucky stars that Spurrier turned you down. It was a blessing in disguise.

  3. 4
    CrimsonBrother

    Ballplay Indian,

    Nobody give’s a Damn what you have to say, SUCK OFF!!!!!!

    BAMA…..36
    BARN…..00

    BAMA…..36
    BARN…..00

    BAMA…..36
    BARN…..00

    ONE HELL OF A BEAT DOWN BY THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE aka “MEAT GRINDER U”!!!!!

    ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Shane, it’s amazing to me how you get these General Robert E. Lee County cockroaches out from under their rock’s.

  4. 5
    LARRY C

    HEY SHANE THE ICE MAN FAG HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE SHORTY SABAN TO RUN OFF THE FIELD AFTER THE GATORS BEAT YOUR uat INBREDS? GATORS 49 uat 17

  5. 6
    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Crimsonbrother……..I guess thats the “Bama Class” we all hear about there huh ? Act like youve won 1 of those 49 Championships you claim. Or in short act like youve been there before. You are the stereotypical jackass bammer.

  6. 7
    CrimsonBrother

    Ballplay Indian,

    I have the same amount of CLASS as your sorry azz team (Auburn) does with all those ILLEGAL CUT BLOCKS AND CHOP BLOCKS!

    Nobody gives a DAMN what you have to say, SUCK OFF!!!

    BAMA………36
    BARN………00

    BAMA………36
    BARN………00

    BAMA………36
    BARN………00

    ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Shane, it’s amazing to me how you get these General Robert E. Lee County cockroaches out from under their rock’s.

  7. 8
    Bamafan

    Ballplay, I wanted to see if you would keep your word, you have. I release you from the bet, You are okay for an Aub fan in my book, you can rile up any of em and that’s what makes a rivalry, how boring would it be not to see the obnoxious Ballplay on here. Later!

  8. 9
    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Thanks Bamafan….But I thought I made the bet with bamaman. Did you just misspell it ? Anyhow , Auburn is a joke right now. Therefore , I shall keep the name until we no longer suck. Tis could be a while. At least 9 months .

  9. 10
    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    And Crimson bro….You are a prick in the highest order. Ive come to realise the more Bama wins, the “classier ” The fans get.

  10. 11
    julio

    “Don’t take this wrong, but there are bigger and better things than beating a lousy 5-7 team.” Shane, that’s what we Auburn fans have been saying for the last 6 years. I guess you can understand that we weren’t just blowing smoke when we said it.

    Enjoy the season, bammers. This has got to be the sorriest SEC in the last 25 yrs that you have excelled in this year. Ole Miss finishes 2nd in the West. LSU goes 7-5. The rest of the West has a losing season. UGA coughs up 45 pts in a loss to Ga Tech to finish 9-3. Tenn has a losing season. The conference sucks so bad that Vandy was able to win enough SEC games to finish bowl eligible. The only team besides Fla and Bama in the BCS top 25 is UGA, and they come in at a whopping #16. Quite an accomplishment to run that vaunted gauntlet undefeated.

  11. 12
    JW

    The national championship game will be played DEC 6 bottom line.TEX OKL TEX TECH have no defense when u put up as many points as they do.So be it if we win or lose it has been one hell of a season.This is a year for bama fans to remember and enjoy]]]tell kids about.Would love to see us go all the way and win it but if we do not; like i said it is a very special year. YOU DO NOT GO 12 0 EVERY YEAR. RTR;;;RTR

  12. 13
    OMNIPRESENT

    Hell I was impressed Shane only used “PUNDIT” once and CrimsonBROTHER your most certainly a ?????? and we know this by the class you show like my friend said ACT LIKE YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE!! your acting like you werent supposed to win and have never beat em before So grow a set clean em up and have a drink on me…. FL is coming and YOU CANT STOP IT!! see how silly that looks

  13. 14
    tmc1

    to answer Laryy C’s question,
    Probably the same time it took him to get off the field after he embarrassed the slack jawed yokel aubbo fans. Get used to it Larry.
    Oh and by the way is Urban Meyer and Florida your new big brother or what?

  14. 15
    tmc1

    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian;

    As far as I am concerned you can go back to being just plain ol’ Ballplay Indian too.
    You did man up after the game. And you are one of us now. Even though we dont like Auburn… You are ok.
    Aside from that I hate having to cut and paste your name becaue it is sooo damn long….

  15. 16
    tmc1

    Julio,
    That is what happens when you have a bunch of preseaseon pretenders.
    OLe Miss is better this year but still a way out.
    UGA is the choke artist of the SEC.
    UT is down. Auburn cut its own throat this year. and Les Miles is the poster child for idiocy.
    But also I believe that the level of talent and coaching is equaling out in the SEC and whenever that happens teams do manage to get loses across the board.

  16. 17
    Bama Fan In NYC

    Julio, but you have to remember in 2004 when you guys finished undefeated, only three SEC teams you defeated had a winning record (Georgia, LSU, and Tennessee) and of course you guys and LSU were the only two teams in the west to finish the season with a winning record.

  17. 19
    njhilliard

    Well Shane,
    It had to finally happen and it was 6 years of pent up frustration. You beat the mess out of us, I admit it. Good luck on a successful season.

    I still think you guys are Gatorbait, but I hope you prove me wrong. I will pull for Alabama definitely against Oklahoma if that is what the polsters will have you play.

    Just tell Finebaum to shut the hell up cause he really sickens me. He is the best fair weather fan a football team could have and his bald head must make a good mirror while he is on his knees for Nicky.

    As far as Tuberville is concerned. He still has some kick left in him. I think this next year with a new OC and if we can hold on to our recruits we will do well next year. As far as the West for next year, look out for Ole Miss, Jeaven Sneed will be a senior QB and we all know what senior QBs usually do (kick some a–).

    Just for all the Bamers, dont get too cocky although I think that is impossible.

    WDE

  18. 20
    BamaBrando

    Julio, wah wah wah. Cry a little more. The tables have turned, and now your team sucks. Bama has been a part of the SEC being down, since they beat everyone they played. The SEC was down in 2004 too. Thats why you didn’t get to play for anything. And if you think Auburn is going to get much better, you had better hope Tubby does the best recruiting of his career this off season. It is hard to see this Auburn team being really good next year, when they have to basically start from scratch on offense again. Plus Auburn may be hiring a new DC too. So your team may be down a few years. Get used to it.

  19. 22
    larry c

    TMC1 THE GATORS WILL BEAT YOUR RETARDS
    THIS SATURDAY. WHAT EXCUSE WILL THE BRYCE
    HOSPITAL COLLEGE TEAM HAVE? lil shorty saban WILL BE WHINING ALL NITE LONG AFTER MEYER BEATS HIM DOWN LIKE THE SCUMBAG HE IS.

  20. 23
    Kreskin

    “Quite an accomplishment to run that vaunted gauntlet undefeated.”

    Auburn went 5-7 in that same gauntlet, so perhaps you’d be better off to take the loss in the ass with the rest of the bitter fans who just got a one-way ticket to Irrelevance Corner.

  21. 24
    auburn=garbage

    Larry C, you are the inbred, along with your precious barn tigers. But, don’t worry. A loss to Florida still means a hell of a turn around over the last 10 years. Unlike your bunch of losers who are headed for more misery down the road. At least when we had Shula, we knew when enough was enough. At least we drew the line with him. With your so called coach (more like talking head), there is no bottom. There is no worse. It just keeps going further and further down. I would think that auburn would want better. I guess not. I guess having such an over paid, overrated, under worked, inept jackass wandering your sidelines is okay with you. Larry C, you are the true picture of a barner. Scared of the world, but a real bad ass behind a computer screen.

  22. 25
    tider002

    12 wins this year was 2 more than I was hoping for. Great season!!! If we win against UF or win a bowl game, that would be added gravy. And to think…the next 2 years will show even better Tide teams. Now that’s what I’m really excited about!!!! Thanks for making auburn look like one of those cheap out-of-conference teams like Tulane or Western Kentucky. RTR

  23. 26
    larry c

    HEY uat garbage

    WHO HAS MAL GOT ON HIS SHORT LIST TO TAKE OVER WHEN SHORTY SABAN RUNS TO WEST VA AFTER THE 09 SEASON. THE PROBATION WILL BE HITTING THE uat terds VERY VERY SOON.
    THE GOVERNOR OF WEST VA AND THE PRESIDENT
    OF THE UNIVERSITY HAS ALREADY WORKED OUT A 5 YEAR CONTRACT. IT STARTS IN 2010.

  24. 27
    MattUA

    larry c –

    You know the governor of West Virginia and the President of the University ??!!! Wow! That is impressive ! I’m really worried that Saban will leave for West Virginia now !!
    You must be very important to have that kind of information.

    P.S. You are a LOSER ! Get ready for 10 straight beatings from BAMA

  25. 28
    jimmy

    WITH THE FINAL SECONDS TICKING OFF THE CLOCK IN THE SEC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME THE GATORS WILL HAVE THE BALL ON THE uat ONE YARD LINE. TEBOW TAKES THE BALL FROM CENTER HE BACKS UP TO TAKE A KNEE BUT NO HE GOES OVER THE TOP TO MAKE THE FINAL SCORE GATORS 56 uat 10. shorty saban LOSES TO THE COACH THAT WILL PUT uat ON PROBATION.

  26. 29
    jimmy

    TO ALL THE uat BRYCE HOSPITAL COLLEGE STUDENTS YOU HAD A GOOD YEAR. YOUR TEAM NEVER BEAT ANYONE BUTS THATS WAS THE WAY
    OLE DRUNK BEAR DID IT.

  27. 30
    jimmy

    I HAVE A QUESTION

    HOW MANY OF YOU INBREDS,NASCAR,TOBACCO
    SPITTING IDIOTS ARE GOING TO ATLANTA TO WATCH COACH URBAN MEYER AND HIS GATORS BEAT DWARF SABAN AND HIS THUGS?

  28. 32
    auburn=garbage

    hey jimmy fudge packer,

    We beat Georgia, preseason number one. We beat Clemson, number nine at the time. We beat LSU in Baton Rouge. Florida is a loss, most likely. But, if we were to some how win, you scrotum lickers would say “Florida wasn’t that good.”. So, just shut up. You’re the ones who are in deep sh*t! Because you’re the ones who are going to keep that cross dressing coach of yours for MORE money than what you’re paying him now! And if you think the ball licking pedophile will bring you a better season next year, then you’ve got a vacancy sign above your head!

  29. 34
    MattUA

    Hey Jimmy,

    How many of the Barners are going to be watching Alabama in the SEC Championship game? All of them!

    Listen step-child, just might as well sit back and root for the teams that Alabama will be playing in these championship games for next few years, because that is the only thing you Auburn fans are going to have.

  30. 36
    Karl

    Great, great post Shane!!

    All of you who think there is going to be a beat down Saturday are sadly mistaken. It will be a very hard fought game with Bama winning by a close margin. No room in this game for little children or cry babies, so I guess all the Barners probably want even watch.

    Great year for the University of Auburn. Even with a perfect season in ’04 you couldn’t get any respect and now having to bring in a whole new coaching staff it will be at least 50 more years before you get another chance. Haven’t you ever noticed how often history repeats itself, and now Bama is set to win another 5 or 6 NC before the cow trainers know what has hit.

    I for one am sorry to see Tubby go. I’ll have to give it to him though, he knew when to cut and run. He will forever remember his last visit to the “Mecca” which is how it should be. I just don’t know who ya’ll will replace him with, but I hear Shula is looking.

    Bombed out war chicken and ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!

    Thanks SHANE!!

  31. 38
    Kreskin

    Oh no, we’re no longer the storyline! I guess that means I need to cancel my plans to be at the game in Atlanta this weekend!

    *rolls eyes*

Comments are closed.