Finebaum takes his show on the road

By Hunter Ford
TWS Reporter

Brother Finebaum’s traveling football salvation show made a stop in Huntsville last week.

As part of a campaign to promote the Paul Finebaum Network, the home of the state’s most listened to talk radio show, Finebaum spoke to an invitation only crowd of about 400 at the Holiday Inn Select, last Wednesday. (Aug. 20)

Finebaum has made a career riffing off of the pride and prejudice of SEC football fans.

While Finebaum has recently suspended his popular newspaper columns, he delighted the Rocket City audience with an oratory column comparing the football programs of the SEC to Middle Eastern countries.

Tennessee
“What if Tennessee was a Middle Eastern country?” Finebaum asked. “It would be Iraq. They have a bunch of history and an overstuffed pig as a leader. Eventually they will kill themselves off.”

Finebaum’s commentary prompted several outbursts of laughter. Here’s a rundown of Paul’s analysis:

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Florida
“Florida is Syria. A bunch of evil punks who will stoop to whatever it takes. They have no real history, but think they are the cradle of civilization.”

Georgia
“Georgia is Kuwait…tons of riches and unrealized potential…but vulnerable to Iraq.”

Vanderbilt
“Vanderbilt is Israel. Leave them alone. What did they ever do to you?”

Kentucky
“Kentucky is Morrocco, not really in the Middle East. They have better things to do, like play basketball.”

South Carolina
“They are Lybia. They have a charismatic leader in a land of nothingness. He will rattle his sword from time to time but doesn’t really have the weapons to back it up.”

Mississippi State and Arkansas
(Writers Note: I forgot what country Paul said Miss. State was. I was a laughing too hard at his exchange with an audience member. A similar occurrence kept me from recording the Arkansas country. Paul sensed the audience was having trouble with his concept. “Do you need me to give you a map?” he asked)

“Any Mississippi State fans here?” Finebaum asked. “Oh. Good we have one. What… are you in charge of cutting the grass out at Redstone? Mississippi State fans are the nicest people…they are just fans of a loser program.”

Ole Miss
“They are Afghanistan. Wild parties and lots of hot women.”

LSU
“LSU is Iran, They are the current super power in the region with a highly dysfunctional village idiot as their leader.”

Alabama
Saudi Arabia. Once a proud kingdom, torn up by internal fighting, surrounded by Iran and Iraq and beset by terrorists that want to kill them.”

Auburn
“Auburn is Al-Qaeda. They have no real country and their only goal in life is to blow up Saudi Arabia.”

Finebaum said he “suspects” he will continue his weekly newspaper columns that have been put on hold due to complications from a recent eye surgery.

Finebaum also said he has been working on a book which is halfway completed.

Guests at the Finbaum even included: Dale Jones, editor of The Western Star; former Huntsville Times Sports Editor John Pruett; University of Alabama Board of Trustees member Peter Lowe; former Alabama football star Tommy Lewis; Tim Walker, mayor of Boaz, Alabama; Shhane from Centerpoint; John from Huntsville; Mary from Decatur and attorney John Falkenberry.

7 Responses to “Finebaum takes his show on the road” Subscribe

  1. rhYno August 22, 2008 at 6:49 pm #

    That’s probably one of the funniest Finebaum “moments” I’ve ever read!

  2. FinebaumJunkie August 23, 2008 at 12:33 am #

    While it can be said that I’m the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of this site, one thing that you have to give me is that in recent weeks, I have given credit where credit is due. Once in my lifetime have I ever called in to Finebaum. I GOT HUNG UP ON. LMFAO, it’s cool though. That was about 2 and a half years ago. For those of you wondering about my screen name, here goes. I always listened to Dunaway and Brown. I have called them at least 3 times. I must say though, that 2 of those calls were less than stellar. Also, if anybody remembers WJOX and The Big Show with Herb Winches, Kelly Hunter, and Ray Melick, I had what I deem the best call of my…what would Shane call it….profesional life. Anyway, I always loved Finebaums newspaper pieces. When a friend of mine suggested I listen to his show…. to be honest he pissed me off. He seemed Pro Bama. But after listening to him, he is a bonafide shit stirrer. But he is good at what he does. Back to my point, yeah, there are Auburn sites out there, but to be honest, they are not as exciting as the Capstone Report. Hats off to you Alan. Now I understand that this is not meant to be an Auburn sound off, I have a interesting take on the Iron Bowl, and football in general. It will be unobjective, and I think pretty damn entertaining to some, if not all, of this sites readers. All I am asking for is a chance Alan. If Intheknow, who puts out a pretty damn good read, and Shane..of all people can do it, then I know I have a chance, then give it to me. You have my word it will be fair….unlike Shane and his onesided columns.

  3. OMNIPRESENT August 23, 2008 at 9:11 am #

    I have enjoyed one or two of Shanes and none of intheknows! I think You should have a chance. Maybe let him right one and let the readers tell ya Cap!

    WPB!!!

  4. OMNIPRESENT August 23, 2008 at 9:11 am #

    OOps WRITE!!

  5. Bama Fan in NYC August 24, 2008 at 12:15 am #

    The Ole Miss comparison is definitely the most accurate and the most hilarious comparison I read.

  6. saywhat? August 26, 2008 at 3:35 pm #

    please tell me that paul is not claiming this material as his own.

    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/14778-college-football-sec-teams-as-middle-eastern-countries

  7. LARRY August 27, 2008 at 9:39 am #

    PAUL FINESCUM IS THE JERRY SPRINGER OF TALK RADIO.HE HAS A LOVEFEST GOING ON WITH
    MIDGET SABAN.THE FINESCUM SHOW IS THE REALLY THE UAT SHOW.I HAVE LISTEN/READ PAUL EVERY SINCE HE HAS BEEN IN BHAM BUT I STOP LAST YEAR WHEN HE WENT SO NEGATIVE
    TOWARD EVER SCHOOL BUT UAT. I GRADUADET FROM UAT IN 1975,MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER
    BOTH ARE GRADS FOR THERE.WHEN I STARTED AT
    BAMA IN SEPT 71 I LOVED THE CRIMSON TIDE.I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE CHEATING THAT BEAR WAS DOING AND IT MADE ME SICK. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE SOME OF THE THINGS BEAR DID JUST TO WIN A GAME.BEFORE I LEFT UAT I HATED THE FOOTBALL PROGRAM AND BEAR.

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