Tubbyâ€™s a cowboy who has fired his six shots
By Hunter Ford
I loved Shaneâ€™s latest: Tubbyâ€™s a desperate cowboy! The column and the following commentary make me want to break out in song.
â€œMe and Billy The Kid, we never got alongâ€¦I didnâ€™t like the way he cocked his hat and he wore his gun all wrong.â€- Joe Ely
Tubbyâ€™s latest antics in Iraq, and some of the statements he made about not really liking the media, recalled memories of the first time I ever saw Tubby â€œThe Wing Nut Kid.â€
Tubby was embarking on his first season as Auburn coach and he came to Eufaula to talk to the local Quarterback Club. I remember him making the bold claim that he would win a national championship. He also made some derogatory remarks about the media.
I was a reporter for the Eufaula Tribune, sent there to cover the speech. I donâ€™t think Tubby was aware that there was a reporter present. When I asked him about his comments about the media, he seemed caught off guard.
I have not interviewed him since then (nearly ten years ago) but following from afar, I see his M.O. of using the media to his advantage, then downing it behind the scenes (or when he thinks heâ€™s behind the scenes (thereâ€™s a live mike there Tubby!)
The media, primarily Paul Finebaum, saved Tubbyâ€™s job during Jet Gate. The media has helped him in many other ways. When Tubby has a publicity stunt up his sleeve, the media has always been more than happy to play along.
But you know what happens to â€œRiver Boat Gamblersâ€ that get caught with an extra ace under the cuff?
And there are only six shots in the standard pistol- correct?
Next time he pulls the triggerâ€¦clickâ€¦clickâ€¦click.
â€œWell I came up with a fool proof schemeâ€¦weâ€™ll rob Wells Fargo, itâ€™s busting at the seams.
Billy went for his gun, but he wore it all wrong.â€
Tubby knows that the media is a coiled rattlesnake. It will be ready to strike if he gets too close.
â€œI admit that I framed him, I have no remorseâ€¦ It was my way at getting back at the man who stole my horseâ€¦
Me and Billy The Kid, we never got along.â€
Hereâ€™s another song a famous Cowboy used to sing. Ready Dandy Don?
â€œTurn out the lightsâ€¦the partyâ€™s overâ€¦they say that all good things must end.â€