Hunter: reaction to Shane’s latest

Tubby’s a cowboy who has fired his six shots
By Hunter Ford

I loved Shane’s latest: Tubby’s a desperate cowboy! The column and the following commentary make me want to break out in song.

“Me and Billy The Kid, we never got along…I didn’t like the way he cocked his hat and he wore his gun all wrong.”- Joe Ely

Tubby’s latest antics in Iraq, and some of the statements he made about not really liking the media, recalled memories of the first time I ever saw Tubby “The Wing Nut Kid.”

Tubby was embarking on his first season as Auburn coach and he came to Eufaula to talk to the local Quarterback Club. I remember him making the bold claim that he would win a national championship. He also made some derogatory remarks about the media.

I was a reporter for the Eufaula Tribune, sent there to cover the speech. I don’t think Tubby was aware that there was a reporter present. When I asked him about his comments about the media, he seemed caught off guard.

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I have not interviewed him since then (nearly ten years ago) but following from afar, I see his M.O. of using the media to his advantage, then downing it behind the scenes (or when he thinks he’s behind the scenes (there’s a live mike there Tubby!)

The media, primarily Paul Finebaum, saved Tubby’s job during Jet Gate. The media has helped him in many other ways. When Tubby has a publicity stunt up his sleeve, the media has always been more than happy to play along.

But you know what happens to “River Boat Gamblers” that get caught with an extra ace under the cuff?

And there are only six shots in the standard pistol- correct?

Next time he pulls the trigger…click…click…click.

“Well I came up with a fool proof scheme…we’ll rob Wells Fargo, it’s busting at the seams.
Billy went for his gun, but he wore it all wrong.”

Tubby knows that the media is a coiled rattlesnake. It will be ready to strike if he gets too close.

“I admit that I framed him, I have no remorse… It was my way at getting back at the man who stole my horse…
Me and Billy The Kid, we never got along.”

Here’s another song a famous Cowboy used to sing. Ready Dandy Don?

“Turn out the lights…the party’s over…they say that all good things must end.”

25 Comments

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  1. 1
    Catphish Tilly

    Catphish Tilly: Reaction to Hunter’s latest reaction to Shane’s latest reaction to a Paul Finebaum caller yesterday

    If all you mouth-breathing, roh tahd yelling, sister-screwing mental rejects can claim this blog as legitimate and honestly look at yourselves in the mirror with a straight face I’ll be impressed. You literally took a freaking COMMENT and turned it into a front page story. I guess what you meant on shanehead’s post about this being a “well rounded” site was that any one with half a brain, a 1976 edition UAT trucker hat, and internet access can be heard. When can MY comment be top story Hunt? Oh please Oh please!!?

  2. 2
    Ballplay indian

    HUNTER FORD ……Shane was so enamoured by yor writing prowess that he gave you your own column. Wow, now you can know that you have reached your peak as a journalist. The Pulitzer Prize doesnt have jack on this accomplishment. Pat yourself on the back …… Only someone who is on an acid trip can write or enjoy reading this.

    It gave me a headache

  3. 7
    berman

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeJaiYq6OCY

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DnwN86fM3Q

    major kudos on yet another enjoyable read, hunter!

    i only have one disagreement: the media didn’t save tubby’s job, albert means, dennis franchione, and phil fulmer saved his job, at least in my very own humble opinion. and way to rile up those east alabama barnies as well!

    catphish tilly, as far as you’re concerned, perhaps you should flee (with haste) back to your wire road double wide and fry a possum. seriously, you’re a fan of the biggest redneck, inbred, incest, rodeo, manure infested college (alabama polytechnic institute aka alabama tech) in america, located in the middle of nowhere/the sticks alabama. i take it that’s why you hate alabama so much. you guys don’t hold a candle to us, so dart out to your out house and cry to your mother, step child.

    count this as my signature:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DnwN86fM3Q

    ps: don’t you just love tailgating in aubarn, alabama:

  4. 8
    DarkIllusions

    Catfish and Ballplay, your posts are the prime example of why The Polytechnic Institute of Opelika unproud alumni will never land a job in journalism. You braindead rejects can’t seem to view things from a logical perspective.

    Any mediocre coach could’ve equaled what Tuberville has accomplished ever since his superior competition faltered. You guys were literally on the verge of firing him, but ultimately screwed yourselves into keeping him, which would’ve quite possibly led to the most effective hire in Opelika’s history. As a rival fan, I count my lucky stars every night, since hearing you didn’t land Petrino. We really dodged a bullet on that very special day, and needless to say when the dust settles in a short matter of time, Tuberville will return to his roots/back to his original form. Tuberville had everything going for him during Alabama’s elimination period, and the only thing he successfully capitalized on was edging Alabama in six straight games, and posting impressive regular season records. He had his chance to win the big one, and failed. Thankfully, Petrino wasn’t at the helm during the time of Alabama’s misfortunes.

    A simple word of advice, if AUtards learned to view more subjects from a logical perspective, the IQ of The Polytechnic Institute of Opelika’s fan base would rise exponentially.

    Here’s yet another humorous Aufarm, Alabama video…

  5. 9
    Shane is a BLOGGER

    Hey Hunter I see the “Machine” got to you.

    The TIGERS are coming. Clemson, LSU, AUBURN.

  6. 12
    David

    The auburnites just can’t stay away from Shane Sez. They constantly whine and complain about the topics and state that Shane gives them one big headache. But, they return each week like being hooked on crack to hear what Shane has to say and then complain some more. I guess aubrun and complaining just go hand-in-hand with no end in site. I expect them to really whine once Saban takes over college football in a couple of years.

  7. 13
    tmc1

    Loved the Neil Young/Pearl jam clip.

    Ah….. freedom of speech, Thank God our forefathers (Or in CTF’s case FOUR fathers) fought to perserve the right!
    How about a little song for the Auburn faithful, who year in and year out listen to the same old idle promises of glory, and follow the barnhouse fuhrer like the children of Isreal followed Moses. All the while pointing their booger encrusted fingers (and cursing) at Bama Nation.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXdSOxEnwWM

    Unlike your aqua brethren Catphish Tilly …..you dont have to wait 24 hours to start stinking up the place……

  8. 14
    FinebaumJunkie

    I want to announce Im going to start a blog based on Auburn football called The Plains report.Yeah each day I will cover fantastic news about what Nick Saban ate for lunch and what his fart smelled like,what time Nick Saban stood on the bed to be able to reach his wife for a kiss,the date and time as well as what county Julio Jones next courtroom testimony will be,show pictures of Nick Saban holding up his hands whilst trying to defend his comments about Pearl Harbor,911,and other disasters in which people lost their lives,in other words,all things Auburn,much like the Crapstone Report covers only Bama topics.Yessir,this is a mighty fine idea.

  9. 15
    Ballplay indian

    DARKILUSSIONS…….Are you serious? You like this crap? Surely not. Take of your crimson bifocals and read this crap. It is terrible. What does it even mean? Well I guess it makes about as much sense as your post. Petrino? Come on boy. Not even you can be that ignorant. What has he done? Has he gone undefeated in the SEC? Has he won a conference championship in the SEC? He played in the BIG EAST!!!!!!! Yes Louiville was decent. But a middle of the road SEC team in Kentucky consistantly gave them headaches. Thats about like me saying, Whew!!!!! I shore am glad Bama got rid of Shula and hired that Saban guy. And Your words were ” All Tubbs has done is gone undefeated, consistantly had good seasons, and beat us 6 times in a row”!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!! Typical Bammer for you.

    NO, WE AINT SKEERED OF YOUR CRAPPY FOOTBALL TEAM OR YOUR OVERPAID COACH OR YOU ANCIENT TRADISHUN!!!!!!!!

  10. 16
    Ballplay indian

    P.S. Wasnt the great Dubose implosion pre-ncaa? Just a thought. Also when yall won the national title in 92 it is suspect as well cause weuz on probation.

  11. 17
    freaking genius

    david: u r correct. we Auburn fans can’t stay away from shane sez… i told you yesterday (please pay attention), we LOVE shane sez. we want it published nationally so the entire country can get a glimpse of the crimson nation.

    Shane is the poster boy for Alabama football. congratulations. he is the personification of the nation’s view of you bunch of hillbilly bammers.

    yes. we love shane sez. it’s another reason why….

    IT’S GREAT TO BE AN AUBURN TIGER!

  12. 18
    freaking genius

    by the way, i thought the posts from “hunter ford” were just somebody pretending to be him. I am shocked beyond words that a “journalist” would post the jibberish that he does ON A FREAKING MESSAGE BOARD.

    what sort of legitimate newspaper allows this sort of bias (not to mention inept writing)??????? i’m truly shocked.

  13. 19
    Ballplay indian

    freaking genius…… The bammers literally cannot take it anymore. If they dont win one soon there will be a collective spastic outburst by these people. They think if they tell themselves that it was probation its o.k. Because thats the only way that they could suck , right, I mean , Isnt it? They try to act like it dont bother them. but in 5 more years if they finally win one, there will be a gigantic orgasm from all things bama so big that you could hear it on the moon. But according to the Bammers we are the ones with issues. Talk about delusional. NO ONE IS SKEERED OF YOUR HAS BEEN FOOTBALL TEAM, YOUR OVERPAID COACH OR YOUR ANCIENT TRADISHUN.

  14. 20
    SHANE'S PAIN

    Wow! When did cloning become legal in the state of Alabama? Seems like every time I read these things, more and more Shanes keep poping up. I’ve been out of the state for 10 years and just now realized why these Bammers continue to get dumber and dumber and dumber…they get all thier information from Shane and UTUBE. I may be wrong but it’s either that or they all (at least the Bammers on this site)go to the same therapist (maybe group therapy) to try to rationalized the DEMISE of the ONCE respected Crimson Tide. I do agree with one of these idiots. I’m glad Petrino didn’t come to Auburn as well! He tends to imulate Lou Saban way too much…you know, he finally made a name for himself at Louisville, his head SWELLED, SCREWED his players and went on to the NFL for fame and FORTUNE, FAILED miserably, walked away in SHAME just minutes after telling the world he was committed to the Falcons only to land an OVERPAYING job with a MEDIOCRE SEC team while visions of national championships were projected out to ignorant, desperate, rejected, naive, humiliated, ignorant, dream chasing, nonsense laden, spring game attending, embarrassed, ridiculed, excuse making, ingnorant, past living fan base. I think Lou Saban and little Bobby Petrino are very similar…quite a PROCESS!

    Tubs may manipulate the press, Ronald Regan did, more power to him. He’s very good at getting under the skin of the Bammers over and above the dominance he has commanded on the football field. It’s natural, not planned and produced. It’s certainly not a part of a “process”. It’s Spurrier like and that makes it even more fun for us Aubies. I can’t wait until next year, after we crush Bama again and after the US crushes IRAN when Tommy goes over for some further GOOD WILL and holds up 8 fingers…it’s great to be an Auburn Tiger!

  15. 21
    Ty from T-town

    SEVEN FINGER FLIP-OFF:
    Hunter, I knew this one could get hot.
    When I first got word that the Wingnut Kid had been invited to the Middle East, I was not surprised.
    It seemed harmless enough. What could go wrong? He only had to fly around the world and hang-out in a war zone.
    I was relieved to hear that Coach Sabin was not invited. Things are bad enough there as it is.
    Tuberville, was now an ambassador of the State of Alabama. Most Bama fans,probably considered Coach Tuberville’s support of the war effort, as selfless patriotism. There is no denying that it seemed to be an honorable endeavor.
    It was selfless all right.
    Selfless promotion.

    It appears that our seven-fingered ambassador, knew what he was doing. That huckster, used-car, carny exterior; is only a front. Beneath the facade, lies something far more devious.
    A Football Coach.
    Auburn fans know what I mean. While Tuberville was headlining the Coaches USO Show; Sabin was sneaking through the hallways of some Florida High School.
    So what’s worse? You have Bob Hope, with enough film to photograph the next swimsuit issue, and we have a workaholic with an advanced case of A.D.D.
    I guess Dr. Thompson was right.
    When the going gets weird; the weird turn pro.

  16. 22
    Hunter Ford

    Ty, you are hereby retained as my attorney.

    “The edge- there is no honest way to explain it because the only ones who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”- HST

  17. 23
    cmyster

    ok i want to make sure that you know i am a huge bama fan and i hate auburn,but this is just stupid you all know that when bama beats auburn we will be holding up a finger or shouting some taunt,so stop writing about tubbs we all know he is a jerk but come on stop being childish and get over it!!!!!

  18. 24
    rolltiders

    (there’s a live mike there Tubby!) Shouldn’t that read more like.. there is a live mike there satan umm.. saban.. Wasn’t he caught saying coon ass when he didn’t think there was a mike around???? Don’t recall every hearing ANYTHING about Tubs talking around a live mike? Can you post that so we can hear it? I will post the Saban coon ass comment if you want to hear that. I think you are a liar. You make shit up.. just because Tuberville beats Bamas ass every year doesn’t give you the right to make shit up about him. But then again you are a roll tider…

  19. 25
    GA

    Controversial Call Explained
    This needs to be discussed by the media

    http://www.ncaapublications.com/Uploads/PDF/Football_Rules_5_2204c0005d-845f-4813-8391-54f15136079d.pdf

    NCAA Football Rules and Interpretations
    Page FR-81
    Ball in Play, dead ball, out of bounds
    Section 2 Article 3

    “Ball Out of Bounds”
    ARTICLE 3. a. A ball not in player possession, other than a kick that scores a field goal, is out of bounds when it touches the ground, a player, a game official or anything else that is on or outside a boundary line.
    Julio is clearly out of bounds when he touches the ball simultaneously with Peterson. Even before Peterson could tuck the ball, the ball was dead. Julio makes contact with the back 1/3 of the ball with his left hand before Peterson even tucks the ball, therefore the pass is incomplete. Doesn’t matter where Peterson’s feet landed.

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