3 Alabama fan resolutions for the 2014 college football season

It isn’t the new year, but it is the start of a new college football season for the Alabama Crimson Tide. Here are my resolutions for the start of the 2014 college football season.

Jinx Auburn
Over the last few years, I’ve learned an important lesson. I can jinx Auburn. It isn’t hard at all. Every college football fan wants to think they have some control over the outcome of games. It can’t possibly come down to what happens on the field. Where I’m sitting on the couch or what I am drinking or eating must have some greater cosmic significance. Right? Well, those things don’t matter, but there is one thing that does matter in the realm of college football—God.

See, God loves Auburn. Doubt it? Think about the last few football seasons. Cam Newton unselfishly picked Auburn over Miss State. Oh ye of little faith, I can hear the doubt now, but think about it. Let the doubt be erased from your mind when you consider the freaky plays. That immaculate reception over Georgia and the kick return should confirm not only the existence of God, but the fact that God wears orange and blue.

But there is a force at work even stronger than that. Every time I bet on Auburn, the Tigers lose or fail to cover. What does this mean? Clearly, God hates me (or at least my money) more than he loves Auburn.

And I’m going to use that to Alabama’s advantage this year.

So, when Auburn plays bad, loses a game or tanks the season. You’ll know why. In the immortal words of one Tennessee hostess, “You can thank me later.”

Not worry about the Alabama QB situation or controversy or whatever
I stopped worrying about recruiting when Nick Saban was named Alabama football coach. So, I am not going to worry about the heir to AJ McCarron. Is it to be Jacob Coker or Blake Sims? Does it really matter? Fans can’t read too much into the whole debate. McCarron turned into a pretty good quarterback and he entered the season battling for the job. Remember back in 2011 and the battle to replace Greg McElroy?
That turned out fine.

Not worry about Lane Kiffin and the NCAA
Alabama fans will remember Lane Kiffin at Tennessee. The guy was a walking NCAA violation. I’m not going to worry about that for two reasons. First, the NCAA is a shell of its former self. This is the Cam Newton era where pretty much anything goes. Second, Lane if a more mature versions of himself. Kiffin is showing more of his true self—much of Kiffin’s attitude at Tennessee and USC was part of a necessary persona to create attention and appear more like a brash young leader. Alabama has a leader, and Kiffin knows his role. Saban has a plan and can manage people better than anyone. Why worry?

There you have it, my three resolutions for this college football season. What do you think? Do you have any resolutions or plans for this season?