Just how bad is this Saturday’s slate of college football games? Well, thanks to Auburn and Tennessee sucking, ESPN’s GameDay is broadcasting from Fargo, North Dakota. Use to, Auburn-LSU or Tennessee-Florida matchups would call for the world wide leader’s premiere college football show to set sail immediately for one of the two campuses. In this media driven world, the media feels it has to create storylines for its lower-shelf viewers to follow.

For instance, in Baton Rouge, we have the Georgia-reject bowl, where issue has been made of LSU Quarterback Zach Mettenberger and Auburn QB Nick Marshall being former members of the Bulldog program (though as much publicized Marshall was a defensive back at the time).

In Gainseville, there aren’t enough ingredients to that game for anyone to conjure up anything worth partaking of. Florida isn’t your father’s Gators, and Tennessee’s string of abysmal play looks to be continuing (thankfully).

How Nick Saban must look to other football programs.
How Nick Saban must look to other football programs.
But in Tuscaloosa, we see just how bad this week really is. The “big story” has been a rogue member of the Texas board of regents contacting Alabama head coach Nick Saban’s agent some eight months ago to gauge his interest in the Texas job. Not this week, not last week…heck, not last month, but eight months ago, following the Tide’s latest National Championsip. A recruiting period, a signing day, a spring practice, an SEC coaches summit, a summer vacation, an SEC Media Days, a summer camp, and two games later, Nick Saban still appears to be entrenched in Tuscaloosa.

Is it really news when a used-to-be top program wants to just see if the top coach in the land is interested in their possible opening? Isn’t that one of the perils/perks of being married to a supermodel, that everyone wants to look, but they can’t have? It is a privilege to have a coach everybody else wants because it means he (and Bama) is doing something right.

The University of Alabama broke unprecedented ground when it handed the keys to its kingdom to Nick Saban…exclusively, without interference. We also clearly forget that Nick Saban wasn’t the Nick Saban we know until he came to Alabama. A great coach, yes. Obviously. But before 2009, he had never had back-to-back 10-win seasons, much less back-to-back National Championships. The formula in Tuscaloosa has been a powder keg of success, one that is not guaranteed elsewhere no matter how green the grass may appear. And make no mistake; UA can match any financial offer he might receive elsewhere.

And while so many like to cue the soundbyte of him saying he wasn’t leaving the Dolphins for Alabama, the same folks tend to skip over the dozens of hooks placed in his waters from other teams, pro and college, that he continues to swim past, keeping his word every time.

But still, this non-story was the story this week because the competition on the field is so bad. So thank you Ohio State for playing Florida A&M. Thank you Auburn and Tennessee for being the suck. Thank you FSU for playing Bethune-Cookman. And yes, Bama hosts Colorado State, but that game at least has some fervor because of the Ram’s head coach being a recent member to the Tide’s coaching staff. Oh well. On to the picks…

Last week was much kinder to this prognosticator, going 7-0 on the day, taking the overall record up to 14-7 on the season.

Colorado State @ Alabama
The much publicized Jim McElwain return to Bryant-Denny Stadium will be well-received in Tuscaloosa today. With all the rain in Colorado and subsequent damage, it’s a sick joke that it’ll be a wet one in Tuscaloosa as well. It’s also interesting that with all the criticism Nick Saban takes of being a tyrant to work for, all of his coaches when asked about their experiences under Saban gush about him, as has McElwain in interviews. You don’t have to do that; there is a way to offer respect without endorsement. Still, TJ Yeldon sitting the first quarter for a personal foul penalty in last week’s game won’t have any effect…a gesture I personally saw Johnny Manziel make no less than six times without penalty the rest of the game. But, I digress…

The rain stops this afternoon, Bama rolls, but the critics identify something else over which we should all be worried about this team.

Colorado State 7
Alabama 45

Tennessee @ Florida
The battle of two ungood teams. Florida is just kind of ungood. Tennessee is delightfully terrible. Maybe Butch Jones can whip out his trumpet in the Vol locker room and rally the troops. Prolly not…

Tennessee 11
Florida 23

Kansas State @ Texas
Mack Brown is fighting for his life, but I’ve read this script before, circa Alabama 2000. The team quits as the sharks encircle the dingy. The team that has historically done more with less tops the team that historically has done less with more, and the Mack Brown watch continues.

Kansas State 35
Texas 29

Auburn @ LSU
The Gus Bus blows a tire in Baton Rouge today. I’ve actually heard Auburn fans trying to talk themselves into believing this team can match the magically improbable season of 2010, desperately trying to connect dots between Cam Newton and Nick Marshall. Truly a delusional bunch they are. Auburn fan, you have experienced your sole season like that in your lifetime, and to this point in the season you have met half of your win total for 2013. Be happy with that.

Auburn 18
LSU 31

Arizona State @ Stanford
Physical football wins over finesse again as Stanford and their stupid band hand the Sun Devils what they deserved against Wisconsin last week.

Arizona State 10
Stanford 28

Troy @ Mississippi State
The Dan Mullen watch will continue today. If he hasn’t already, Mullen needs to send Mack Brown a thank you card for taking the eyes off of himself. He’ll need it when Troy upsets the Bulldogs today in Starkville.

Troy 25
Mississippi St. 24

Marshall @ Virginia Tech
Frank Beamer’s squad will continue to show why the Alabama offense struggled against them. They are one of the tops in the land.

Marshall 15
Virginia Tech 23

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18 thoughts on “GameDay: Nothing to see this week but silly rumors”

  1. Are you trying to get a crazy check? Va . Tech needed 3 OTs to beat a weak Marshall team…..

    Miss. State will beat Troy by 2 possessions

    and yes …Nick Saban does look like a cheap slut to all of the college world. That’s why they keep offering to throw money at him.

    Also love how you have picked some ” cupcake ” predictions since that choke job a couple of weeks ago. lol Why not pick the Mich. State Vs. ND, Ark Vs. Rutgers, or any other game that would actually take some skill to predict? LSU beats Auburn today but not sure of them scoring 30 points due to the weather and looking ahead to Georgia.

      1. Probably had more to do with Cam Cameron’s O and LSU’s talent level than it did Ellis Johnson’s D. But then again we know how much your hate for Auburn clouds your judgment.

        1. Leave it to the Grass Eater to hire an OC who got fired from every NFL job he ever had for being incompetent. LMAO.

          1. Well Crasus maybe you gumps should consider doing the same seeing how bama’s mighty offense had less yards on CSU’s defense than Colorado, Tulsa and Cal Ploy which each had 509 yards, 427 yards and 367 yards respectively, compared to the 338 yards put up by the might crimson tide on COLORADO STATE UNIVERSITY. Don’t ya’ll have a senior quarterback that is better the Johnny Football? I’m sure that’s what I’ve seen some of your fellow gumps say on here.

            If I was you I don’t think I would criticize anybody else’s OC after a performance like that from my own team, but then again I’m not a gump nor do I think like a gump.

  2. No, you’re a corndog. And if the corndog D continues to play like they did against the Barners, they will have at least 2-3 losses to contend with this season.

    1. And your a gump and everybody laughs at the things gumps say, especially when they are as dumb as that last statement of yours.

      1. And just like CrasAss you should worry about you own offense before you worry about someone else’s defense.

        Against CSU bama didn’t do a very good job on third down. Bama couldn’t run the ball, couldn’t finish a lot of drives, and consequently, CSU stayed in the game, and bama could never put them away.

        1. LMAO@ LSU. A bumbling communist idiot for a coach. A Mettengropedher for a QB. A child molestor at RB. Real class program you’ve got there.

        2. Hey, Corndog – Bama won. They are undefeated and still No. 1 in the BCS poll, by a large margin. Doesn’t that just eat you up, seeing as how you know so much about this team? Maybe your Corndog U can break into the top 5 before they get creamed by aTm, UGA and Ole Miss. Bama will help you pick up the pieces by humiliating you in front of our home crowd.
          Keep the fantasies coming, LMDAO!

          1. And you little petie are the perfect example of why your fan base is nicked named the gumps and why the myself and the rest of the college football fans hate about Alabama. See it’s not nick saban or the fact that bama has a rich winning tradition, its snotty nose asswipes like you and Harvey Updyke and the tea bagger (yes you are destined to be just like those last two pettie when you grow up, but I’m sure that will make you and your parents proud).

            You see I’ve been following LSU for quite a while now and we have won more games, more championships and have been ranked higher and more consecutively in the national polls since Les Miles has been here than the previous 35 years that I have followed them. So despite what you may think or say I’m not sad, ate up, humiliated or worried about anything you say because in all the years I’ve been following the Tigers it has never been this good! We ranked no. 6 in the nation (which your ignorant ass thinks is irrelevant as you have said but that says more about you than anything else) but we are getting better and moving up each week whereas bama has no place to go but down! And that might happen this weekend. Your team is not that much better than everyone else despite what you think. Last year they lost to A&M and barely beat LSU and Georgia and barely beat Va Tech and A&M this year and wasn’t very impressive against CSU! So keep laughing your dumb ass off it doesn’t bother me one bit gump. I enjoying my football season you see we are also undefeated and actually have one more win than you gumps have. HAVE A GREAT DAY little pettie!

            Oh by the way little pettie are you going to humiliate us in front of your home crowd just like you said you were going to do last time we played ya’ll there? If so warn your geeks…em I mean greek fraternities so they can be sure to bring some extra Kleenex so they don’t have to be seen on national television crying on their girlfriends shoulders and blouses again – LMAO

          2. @LMAO

            I won’t torture you with the gameplan and personel against Colorado State. You use whatever you can to hate Alabama. Go on.

            But Saban doesn’t run it up on his friends, especially a guy like McElwain. I can’t imagine how LSU would perform without its best receiver, tight end, two linemen, etc, but I’d still expect them to beat CSU.

            As an aside, look at what happens when teams like tOSU and Louisville beat up on their cupcakes. Read on. Nobody wants that. You see the CSU game as a reason for Alabama to be afraid, but we see it as a reason to be impressed and proud.

            Besides, if Alabama scored 76 points on CSU you’d have something to hate them for anyway…

            What a joke. Roll Tide.

  3. You are #6 by default, fool. You are #6 only because Texas A&M, Georgia, South Carolina and Florida all lost! If you had played any one of those teams with maybe the exception of Florida, as we have done, you would have lost too. As you will Saturday. RTR!

    1. Oh shit Crimsonite and little Petie,
      Not everyone in the country looks at everything through crimson glasses. Bama and the gump nation’s imagage from previous years is slipping.


      And not everyone shares your opinion about LSU, or at least what you’re saying in public. LMAO

    2. How that for default Crimsonite! LMAO

      Hell if LSU fans were like the gumps we would go ahead and claim another national championship and have T-shirts printed! LMAO

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