How do Alabama newspapers stay in business?

It isn’t through hard work and solid reporting. The state’s newspapers are routinely scooped by the New York Times and ESPN—see the Cam Newton scandal and the NCAA’s massive probe into Auburn recruiting irregularities ranging from South Florida to Louisiana to Tiger Prowl to Big Cat Weekend. The state’s newspapers practice a See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil philosophy in handling Auburn and its alleged cheating.

The newspapers have instead adopted a novel approach.

Tell Auburn fans that everything is just fine! (SEE al.com for today’s effort)

And if you need some help to find out just how fine things are then talk to Auburn fans that publish Auburn fan websites.

Now isn’t that a great way to sell newspapers?

Who needs the truth?

Who wants the truth?

You won’t make anyone mad by reporting fluff.

Keep those single copy sales going! Keep those subscription numbers up!

48 thoughts on “REPORT: Everything is going just fine at Auburn!”

  1. Al.com is such a laughingstock.I asked them why 2 barntard writers thought recruiting was going fine just after Coach Chizzlle made a fool himself in front of God and everybody, crying about his recruiting was being hurt and trying to debate the issue with an NCAA enforcer. You’ve never seen a post deleted so quickly.

  2. When I discovered al.com a few years ago I became addicted to it. Finally there was a source that could keep me informed of my home from the Gulf Beaches to the Tennessee mountains and with all the sports I could wish for. Then the stupid bastards changed their website colors to watery blue and puke orange. Now when you select the Alabama Football section you have to scroll through just as many articals on phucking Awbren. What a crying shame that a sydication of the States 3 largest newspapers have become an embarrassing crock of shyt. Even on a Bama artical on the Bama Football section you can’t say anything a tiny bit negative about the cowshyt school without getting deleted. I don’t even go there anymore. Hell I can get better Bama coverage in South Bend, Indiana. I don’t like blue and orange on my computer screen anyway. Makes me want to throwup. That is one ugly phucking color combination. You don’t think so??? Then paint your phucking house and car blue and orange and think again! RTR!

  3. Maybe Alabama’s news media fail to print a lot of this stuff because you just can’t fix stupid.
    Even after scores of publications printed the exchange between Roe-Lach and Chizik about Cam still being under investigation, AU idiots everywhere responded by saying she was taliking about MSU and not AU.
    There ain’t enought shampoo on earth to get all the grit out of the mullets of the barners who have their heads buried in the sand.

  4. Honestly if the tables were turned and all I was getting was sunshine B.S. about Bama when a tsunami was on its way, I would be pissed. But then, I care about the truth.

  5. I myself hopes this stays strung out for a long time! ….Kinda enjoy watching the barnies squirm and sweat!….LOL

    1. LOL Cap, I love all his movies. I steal some of my lines from him lol. I almost cried when he died. And dont call me Shirley

  6. So ..you boneheads expect the Bham News to print speculation?

    There is no proof of any wrong doing and the News discussed that the investigation is ongoing. That is the only fact. The article is about Auburn’s good recruiting despite all of the rumors.

    I applaud the News for not acting like Finebaum and and engaging in Jerry Springer inspired, psuedo-journalism. You guys need to get out more into the world more often.

    Seems that you are really mad that Auburn is putting together another great recruiting class despite your incessant attempts to negatively spin the Auburn situation.

    What’s really funny is that the less your efforts work, the angrier you get.

    Has it ever occurred to you boneheads that you shouldn’t even care what is printed about Auburn? That you should just be worrying whether your coach is going to allow your team to underachieve AGAIN this year?

    By the way. “MY SOURCE” says that Auburn is not the target of the ongoing Cam investigation. Another school is.

    See how easy that was.

    1. MY SOURCE says Hoopie is Baghdad Bob. See…. that was pretty much a no-brainer.

  7. The problem with what you say is that we know you’re a dumbazz and therefore pay no attention to what you say. And the News is not a sports blog. They are not supposed to be a fan of one team or the other. They are supposed to print an unbiased article that includes the whole story. But then we know that they don’t and won’t. RTR!

  8. And the rest of the story the Barntard media won’t tell you about is Paul Parker. The GT compliance officer who laughed in the NCAA’s face when they had him under gag order.Not only did he tell the player(s) he was under investigation, he coached him up before his NCAA interview.Anyone care to guess what school that is under investigation Paul Parker works for now?

  9. Don’t blame you Alabama fans for wanting Auburn to go on probation so badly. I mean hell i loved what probation did for yalls football program. Made yall the laughing stock of the SEC from 2003 till 2007. Hey maybe You will get lucky with this whole Cam Newton thing. It is about the only way any of you will ever see Alabama dominance in the Iron Bowl again. I mean face it if I got butt raped by Tub s for 3 out of 10 years I would be pissed off to!

    1. As I recall, didnt some of Auburn’s favorite sons who played under the “tubs” regime go on national TV telling everyone the were paid to play? Here is a novel little idea………. Shut up and sit down, your ignorance is stiffling whats left of your already oxygen depleted intellect. In case you still havent figured what I am saying. i will say it in words you can easily understand. ITS PRETTY EASY TO DOMINATE A TEAM ON PROBATION WITH A TEAM FULL OF PLAYERS YOU BOUGHT.

  10. The only recruiting tool Auburn needs is games like the past Iron Bowl. At Auburn we never stop fighting…. At Alabama we don’t know how to make half time adjustments so when we lose we just call auburn cheaters and hope it makes us feel better bahahaha rowl tad!

    1. You are exactly right because there is absolutely no way they can sell the sewer of Lee county and the worthless diplomas as being anything more than usless in the real world. Let Auburn win the next 10 Iron bowls. Its still a POS town In a POS place full of POS people. Who unfortunately will graduate to POS jobs, with (wait for it…..) POS diplomas.

  11. Probation… The problem with your spin abt Tubbs so-called “dominance” is that 4 of those 7 wins occurred over Mike Shula, 1 over Mike Dubose. 1 over Fran when he was on his way out and didn’t attend practice. Hell, even the 1 over Saban was partially tainted due to the Shula effect. You will see in those same years that Alabama had a combined 3-9 record against Tenn and LSU as well (2 wins over mediocre UT teams). So what’s your point? Auburn still has not ever won in recruiting head to head against Saban under Chizik, and currently Alabama has 5 committments from ESPN150, whereas Auburn has 4 with all the cheating they are doing. This notion that beating suck ass Shula teams helps recruiting TODAY is as preposterous as saying Alabama’s OVERALL dominance over Auburn helps them.

    Notice how Cam got snubbed as Athlete of the year Regionally (SEC) and Nationally (ESPY). Their come from behind was snubbed at the ESPY’s as well as their team as well. Why you ask? BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THEY PAID CAM NEWTON. There’s your 28-27. We will respect Auburn when they can win without cheating. BTW, MY SOURCE said hold your ass cheeks the week of Auburn 22:)

  12. whatever you have to tell yourself to justify your dirty program. I just hope y’all don’t get the death penalty before 11-26 this year.

  13. “That is one ugly phucking color combination. You don’t think so??? Then paint your phucking house and car blue and orange and think again! RTR!”

    Hey Crimsonite (aka EGGHEAD WHITE), Bammers Crimson and White are the same colors as a used tampon!

    I don’t know if you are trying to be funny; or whether you are just a Bammer-educated DUMBA$$ REDNECK!

  14. “The problem with your spin abt Tubbs so-called “dominance” is that 4 of those 7 wins occurred over Mike Shula, 1 over Mike Dubose. 1 over Fran when he was on his way out and didn’t attend practice. Hell, even the 1 over Saban was partially tainted due to the Shula effect. You will see in those same years that Alabama had a combined 3-9 record against Tenn and LSU as well (2 wins over mediocre UT teams).”

    Rotten Crotch, you Bammer fans will pull any excuse out of your A$$ to justify defeat. Please explain to me how Bammer won the SEC in 1999 and lost to TENNESSEE? Was this due to “bad coaching”??

    FACE IT, BAMMER SUCKED, NO MATTER WHO THE COACH!

    Grow up and take defeat like an adult!!

  15. If you are willing to buy a state legislator…what’s to stop you from buying a football player?…NCAA official?…SEC official?…Newspaper writer?

  16. But the probable reason why local and regional media have treated Awbarn with kid gloves is- nasty emails, nasty phone calls, threats, etc, from the “All In” klan.

    1. that and Pat dye has threatened to d*ckwhip the entire state for picking on his Awbarn Fambly.

  17. So imanidiot vol you are taking these last few beat downs bama has dealt UcheaT in good form huh? I guess that explains you trolling this site on the daily! Btw everyone bleeds crimson……….EVERYONE!

  18. BammerLIE77,

    I look at this site every day or so for comic relief. It is very amusing that you Bammer BOOBS are more interested in Tennessee or Auburn getting in trouble than you are about your own Cheating team.

    BTW, the Bammer color combo looks like a used tampon!

    1. Da*n Indy. If this is your comic relief I would hate to see your opera night.

  19. Dumbazz Indiana Volunqueer. By your thinking then LSU couldn’t have won SEC or National Championships in ’03 and ’07 cause they lost to Auburn then to Kentucky and Arkansas or the same for Florida in ’06 and ’08 cause they lost to Auburn then Ole Miss. You’re such a phucking dumbazz that you cease to be funny. And Orange and white is almost as phucking ugly for a car or house as blue and white. Unless of course you’re a phag that loves to look like a Dream Sickle, or in your case a Cream Suckle. Bwaa Haww Haww! RTR!

    1. At least it is Orange and White, not Crimson and White which looks like a used TAMPON!

      Crimsonite,

      I can’t figure if your spelling is due to sub-standard education in Bammer, or whether you are just that F****** STUPID. I am leaning towards the latter!!

      Have a good day DIPSH##!

    2. Cnite. Brother you have to remember Indy is an idiot. …. oh wait…… i apologise. He is an IDIOT’S IDIOT. Which all of us “Bammers” know only translates to one thing. Thats right, Food stamp frAUd. Rehabs and Jerry Springer. But lets not ruin it for Indy, this is as close to relevance as he will ever come. And Gene Chizik is as close to a cow sh*t jesus as he can get.

  20. Damn Crimmy, you are on a roll. Keep up the fantastic job you have been doing lately, and Im going to have to find another basket case to mess with 🙂

  21. Don’t want you to strain your brain IQless Volunqueer. I meant Orange and Blue, not Blue and White.

  22. Well scratch that last comment then. Get your putdowns straight BEFORE you post them, or are you still tryin to figure out that phone of yours?

    1. Yes I am still trying to figure out my phone it is an HTC HD7, Luckily it doesn’t take Carl Sagan to figure out how to putdown a barner. Hell Pee Wee Herman could do that.

  23. Orange and white? More like yellow and white! Oh and btw imanidiot vawl turdersee would have to be relevant to be subject of a conversation! Its ok tho we understand life just ain’t the same since lame kiffin spurned yawl the take a job at a school he helped put on probation! Damn turdersee is more pathetic than I realized!

    1. At least Tennessee is not on the NCAA’s HABITUAL CHEATER LIST like Bammer!

      Crimson and White which looks like a used TAMPON!

  24. I don’t make those mistakes when I’m on my computer. But you show me a person who doesn’t make an occasioal error when typing on a cell phone and I’ll show you a person who has never typed on a cell phone. But then again you brain dead retarded Barnturds and UThugs have been reduced to looking for typos to whine about. Bwaa Haww Haww! RTR!

    1. Barners never make typing and grammatical errors. They do it just like they wuz taught at AU!!!! Yesiree Bob, and i will see you at the Rodeo!!!

      1. Vol is obsessed with used tampons. I guess he see’s them all over when he is cleaning the Vol’s football locker room.

  25. Red and White in whatever shade or name you want to give it is the most popular color combination in the world and I’ll guarantee you that my house, car, truck, boat, motorcycle and a hell of a lot of my shirts are just phucking BEAUTIFUL in Crimson and White; and I don’t have to feel embarrassed that people think I’m a fanatic or idiot with those colors. So shove it! RTR!

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