Today Abarn got this guy…

Some random thoughts here…

He (Dismukes) may turn out to be a good player (a center); only time will tell.  But tell me, who honestly wears a doo rag on their head?  With a suit?  On the day they make their commitment?  In front of cameras?

If you are a white dude, don’t wear a doo rag.  Ever.  Nothing  looks sillier than a white guy with a doo rag on his head.  Black guys pull the look off well.  Crackers cannot ( illustrated above).

It’s sad, but there’s a trend here…

Does the poor guy not have any friends?  Will anybody be real with him? Is it still 1993 in Spanish Fort?

Quote of the day:
“The first spring practice I went to at Auburn, that’s when I really started to feel like it was the place for me,” said Dismukes. “It was that trip that changed things. After that, I really started to see myself at Auburn.”

“After visiting spring practice at the barn, I realized that I could play as a freshman. That was a totally different vibe than the one I got when I visited Alabama, where I found myself wondering if I would ever play at all.”

Is Dismukes any relation to this guy?

There is a strong resemblance.

Other Abarn “looks” I’m fond of:

“Mommy, look at the balloons!”

“I like hats!”
(With the empty stands, this shot obviously taken during an AU home game last season.)

I don’t have words.

AU quarterback, Kevin Bacon.

AU fan who’s eaten too much bacon.

AU player who ate everything on the spaceship but Sigourney Weaver.

“I gotst me a Cokee-Colee! War damn eeeeagle, ya’ll!”

Just wrong for so, so many reasons.

Today’s tool has company.

But back to the original subject.  If you know someone who wants to don a doo rag, please do them a favor…show your real friendship to them, and tell them no.  Tell them you care too much about them to let them look like a complete fool.  Tell them, like Dismukes, it just looks like they have boxers on their head.

They may not appreciate it at first, but later they will thank you.

91 thoughts on “Auburn Gets This Guy…”

  1. Think about it. If the kid does not have the confidence that he can compete with the best, then Alabama is probably not the place for him. As the team gets deeper in talent the less confident athletes will go elsewhere.

  2. Precisely, Steve. Thank you. And isn’t less confident athletes what we ALL want when it comes down to crunch time and the game is on the line?

  3. Those grapes are awfully sour, ain’t they?

    BTW, I agree about the doo-rag. That needs to go and quickly. (And the swedish chef is my all time favorite muppet. Classic.)

  4. Is this where you thought you would be in your 30s? Calling kids “cracker” whenever their life choices make you sad?

  5. Bammers are showing there jealousy big time. Look taking recruits from you turds is only gonna get worse. Accept it and move on down the dam road. Hey turd, who ever heard of wearing a dam suit to a dam football game, let alone in the middle of the day, let alone in the dam heat. Saban is about an idiot. How dumb is that? Just asking.

  6. Julio, finally something we agree on. But no (Jo), no sour grapes. Someone who walks outside with a look like that has serious decision making problems.

    Mandi, if Saban is an idiot, I wish I was too. I’d have 2 NC’s, own college football, and be racking $4 Million a year. And that sound you hear is a collective sigh of relief from “bammers” all over that this tool didn’t put on a crimson doo rag today. Then WE’D be the ones who look stupid right now.

  7. All the bammers cry that the kid picked AU because he didn’t have the “confidence” to “compete” with those O-Linemen at Bama. Auburn just signed the best O-Line class in the country two months ago. Nobody to compete with there, huh? So much for that excuse.

  8. Mandi, you obviously don’t follow recruiting. Last week Alabama got LaMichael Fanning, who just happened to attend AUBURN HIGH SCHOOL! LOL!!!! Last year Bama got Corey Grant from Opelika HS and 2 years before that Dee Finley, again of Auburn HS, rejected the tiggers and went to Florida. See, players like Fanning, Grant, and Finley realize that by going to schools like Alabama and Florida they can play for National Championships. They know that auburn has only won one NC in 119 years of football, and they were on probation(as usual) when that occured. Woe Egul!!!!!

  9. im a fan of both auburn and bama due to my daughter wanting to go to bama and my son in auburn.i think its childish for people to get on these message boards and downgrade any player regardless of the school they choose to attend.congrats to auburn on a great pickup because bama is already loaded and will be as long as st.nick hangs around.roll tide and war eagle

  10. The best O line in whose opinion Julia. I’ll lay you 10 to 1 none of those recruits will ever match up with Fluker, Vlachos, Carpenter, Love and company. Amd who cares about your mediocre OL recruit. We just commited 4 of the top players in the country, 2 of which were 5 stars, one of which is #1 at his position, all of which were recruited by Abarn and one stolen from downtown Auburn. So fuck you inbred hog humpers. We already have 11 of the top athletes in the country commited. Don’t think we’re too worried about losing a doo wearing snow bunny to ya’ll. LMAO! RTR!

  11. Just wondering but is the person in the second to last picture mandi? Secondly, I think wearing a suit shows a bit of class and dignity, no suprise that a person of mandi’s obvious stature would find it stupid and senseless.

  12. Why are dumbass University of Auburn fans on an Alabama football blog site?

  13. It’s just more of the “oh we didn’t really want him anyway” that we ALWAYS hear from the bammers when we get a recruit away from them. “A nation will fall, but a family that prays together, stays together!” WAR EAGLE, REESE! You made the right choice.

  14. How about when Dre Kirkpatrick signed and put on a Braves hat? That was great. Smart kid.

  15. Seriously… had he committed to Alabama like he was about to do a few months ago, you would be drooling over yourselves screaming how you got one of the best players in the country and he chose Alabama over Auburn…

    But instead he chose Auburn over Bama and now he’s a no-talent doo-rag wearing clown?

    You are example number 1,232,242,424,399 of why most Bama fans are the laughingstock of college football.

  16. I am a life long Alabama fan and this kind of garbage is why we get the reputation we have. This illiterate, uneducated piece of garbage (Shane) has to get a blog? It’s bad enough you embarrass us on Finebaum daily but you have to do it here also?

    It’s an 17 yr old kid who chose to go to another university. Get a life and another hobby Shane. You don’t even know simple grammar. Do you know how a semi-colon works or what it is? Is it something that looks cool when you need a pause in a sentence?

    You are a joke. Please go way. You are a a true annoyance and chagrin to all of the Bama nation. GO AWAY!

  17. When I taught at your “university,” I was always struck at how many complete fools like you walked around that campus. Thank you for showing what a true and honest ass you really are. You guys never disappoint.

  18. Scaired, say scaired. Fanning was at auburn high how long? And why was mighty mouse wearing NC tarheel blue at a freaking home spring game? Talk about clown!

  19. Ashamed, pointing out the facts to uneducated aubies is the duty of every Alabamian. If you don’t like it, take your orange and blue ass over to the Bunker. You’re not fooling anyone here.
    By the way, Shane no longer posts here, so you just embarrassed yourself.

  20. Laughing hysterically at bammers who simply can’t stand it when they lose a player to Auburn.

  21. Kevin,

    It’s not that we can’t stand it, it’s that we can’t understand it. Who in their right mind would want to spend four years of misery and torment in Mayberry playing for a team who considers the Iron Bowl as their national championship game?

    Who would want to spend four years attending college at some backwoods school who endorses RODEOS, who also houses their students in trailer parks, and whose fraternities throw KKK parties on the weekend? Beats me…

    The only logical explanation is Aubarn is up to their old tricks, playing catch up with Alabama the dirty way, which they universally known for doing. How else would a THREE YEAR head coach with an OVERALL LOSING RECORD and TED ROOF out-recruit all but one of the SEC’s coaching veterans?

    See Dakota Mosely’s thousands of dollars worth of cash and Corey Lemoniers brand new corvette for more details…

  22. By the way, you can find both of those pics on Mosley’s and Lemoniers Facebook pages and ironically enough, the pics popped up immediately after signing day… coincidence?

    Hell, you’d definitely have to pay me, or hook me up with a flashy new ride in order for me to waste four years of my life in that redneck infested cesspool that makes Mayberry look like a modern day heavenly kingdom.

  23. More of the same — bammers making up stories to make themselves feel better. You’ve OBVIOUSLY never been to Auburn. No doubt in my mind that we have the most beautiful campus in the nation. As for the rest of your nonsense, I am very proud of my alma mater. I think Tony Barbee would disagree with your accusations of racism. Look at the University as a whole, not 1 incident with a few stupid people. As for the alleged cheating, prove it. I guarantee it’s happening at bama.

    Shut the hell up! Auburn and Alabama fans alike. This post and these comments are the epidome of ignorance. Being an Alabama fan, I cringe at some of these comments whining about how he didn’t pick Bama. It’s not that big of a deal. Alabama’s depth is exponentially times bigger than Auburn’s. Auburn, congrats on picking up a good recruit, Keywork is recruit though.

  25. I would like to say that Alabama fans whom traveled to California did a disservice to the whole state by being here. YOU are what gives the entire state a bad name. I’ve never heard SO many people some of which have never even met an “Alabamian” make fun of you. So, good job, as usual at embarrassing the SEC. With such a high percentage of white trash in Tuscaloosa, I think it’s funny that so many Alabama fans think they have so much money, and love to act like that makes them better. Well, let me just tell you that an extremely high percentage of Californians can wipe their butts with your $32 million dollar coaches salary. Odd that California is in such a deficit…I guess it’s a commonality that some people can ruin it for everyone.

    This post has nothing to do with the article, I realize that. I just think the article is remorsefully unimportant, so I thought I would take this time to thank you, Alabama fans for being idiots all over the country, not only in Alabama. Way to go.

    “Be nice on the way up, because you’ll be running into those same people on the way down” is a quote that most Alabama fans need to learn. I will say that I have met a few, classy Alabama fans. They remind me of Auburn fans.

  26. What’s the difference between a Bammer and a Retard ???

    The Retard doesn’t think he’s a genius !!!

  27. As the author of this article, let me just offer that if you didn’t like what you read or saw, you can pucker up and kiss my derriere.

    The great thing about history is that it speaks for itself, and historically, the University of Alabama plays for championships, while Abarn plays to beat Alabama. Let it anger you my little barn friends, but it’s just fact.

    I was having fun at one young man’s decision to put a pair of boxer shorts on his head on a momentous day in his life. He may turn out to be a good player. But he still made the decision to wear underwear on his head. And to me, darn it, that’s funny.

    I knew this piece would attract the usual aubie night crawlers and slugs, offering their predictable droning about Alabama. But just know from one author to my barner friends here, I nor any “bammer” could care less what you think. You are the ones settling for mediocrity and discounted achievement, not us. And you are the ones, like a moth to a flame, continually coming back here, trying one more time “tuh tell ’em bammers a thang or two!”

    So settle in and get ready for your annual “national championship game” next season when you take the field against Bama again in Tuscaloosa next November. And just know when you do, you’ve got a player dressed out on your team who wears underwear on his dome.

  28. While I will agree that the doo rag is not a good look for Reese, do you really think your mullet is better? At least Reese can take the doo rag off when he wants to….your mullet is there 24/7/365. One other thing Reese will get at Auburn, a degree, which is more than I can say for 98% of Bammer fans….just sayin’

  29. You bammer trash are cheaters. Arent you fools on probation? lol.. You better hope we dont beat you morons this yr. All you trash will kill each other. Look recruits are starting to realize they dont wanna be around a program like that. All recruits take your time on making a decision just like Chiz says. Visit both schools over and over. Youll get the hell away from that trash and come to the family where you belong. This shit is hilarious.

  30. intheknow72 – what year did you graduate from the University of Alabama?……that’s what I thought, put your hair net back on and get back to the fryer, the fries are burning and your smoke break is OVER!

  31. Oh I get it Rant, you’re implying that I am an hourly employee on a break somewhere. Good one. Verrrry clever, and remarkably original. You are truly a gift to comedy, little guy.

    Oh, and 1994.

    Mandi, the days when Alabama “has to have a player” are gone. The holes we are filling are ones that haven’t developed yet, because they’re 2-3 years away. I know that’s an abstract concept for you. And yes, I can define “abstract” for you if needed. (“Define” means to tell you what a word means.) Hope to hear from your trailer trash mouth soon, buttercup.

  32. The only thing that keeps this board entertaining is the anti AU articles….And ITK , you never disappoint. Frankly, your article was funny. I too hate doo rags….And , I am considering putting a ban on the word. Much the way you did with the “L” word. Doo rags are gay in the highest order.

    Now on to the competition thing. Our O-line will be ferocious next year. Last year we recruited the #1 o-line per rivals. Not sure if that still holds true after Shon Colemans diagnoses, but who cares about that whne talking about a young man diagnosed with cancer.

    to say that Dismukes is “skeered” of competition is stupid. There is as good , if not better, competition at AU than UA.

    But your right…..There is never an occasion to wear a doo rag. ever…..

  33. The Shon Coleman thing made me sick. Nobody needs to hear that diagnosis at such an early age, regardless of the colors he wears. I pray he makes a full recovery and sees the field one day.

    AU had a good recruiting class, and linemen were part of it. But in the words of the great Richard Marx, “It don’t mean nothin'” till they get on campus and prove they can play. Bama’s O-line has some work to do on the right side before it is good. Abarn’s O-line isn’t a traditional O-line in the sense that the dipsy doo has a lot of “trickeroo” to it, so you’re not manning up and attacking very often (when everyone in the stadium knows where the ball is going). That offense is full of sucker punches, which if that nets you eight wins and provides for the annual eight win parade past Toomer’s corner, go for it. But the liklihood of a lineman prospect like Dismukes making it there is probably better than at Alabama, where they still play “man” football.

    Good hearing from you BPI.

  34. Jesus Christ! We been trollin along here bored shitless for a month now. Thought I was gonna give the exterminator a bonus for ridding us of the Barner pest problem. Now I’m gonna fire the bastard. His shit just stirred up some new ones and even woke up BPI! What a bunch of inbred tards. West Coast SEC Fan, go fuck yourself. Root for USCw and Lame Kittenshit you moron. Ashamed, you pussy fart. A lifelong Bama fan? But you chose to attend another school. Bullshit! Barner! VA Tiger, you’re more full of shit than a Xmas turkey. Taught at Alabama? You incestual whore. Proffesors don’t go on football forums and call other blogers names. Lier! Rickys Rants, careful fart blossom. You’re looking for legal problems impersonating a registered website owner. Now all of you go fuck yourselves. Bama and Saban have restarted the dynasty. We’re undefeated National Champions and we’re gonna repeat and repeat and repeat. We don’t give a shit what you think. Get use to it losers. RTR!

  35. When will the Aubbo hordes come up with something….ANYTHING that is new or Original?
    Mullet? That shit is old. And lame too.
    The ramblings of a half witted, intellectual midget.
    I cant beleive some Rube actually had the nerve to post about someone putting a net on and getting back to work….Wake up you stupid Mother fucker and go see how valuable that sociology degree of your’s is.
    Aubbos you chose your lot in life. You chose to back a second rate school full of bumpkins who believe they are the next Einstien.
    And before you decide to come back with any of your barnyard bumpkin come backs, I would like to give Auburn University its due.
    Thank you ignorant fucking hicks for bringing kudzu to the U.S. in a convuluted attempt at feeding lifestock. The cows cant eat it, damn near nothing that is environmentally safe can kill it and it grows like….well… kudzu….
    Shut up and sit down jugheads! The adults are trying to laugh at your latest moron prodigy.
    (do you think he might have used that thing to wipe his nose?)

  36. Intheknow72 – have you ever gone back and looked at some of the previous recruiting classes at UAT? I bet 50+% of the commitments NEVER see significant playing time. It is true for all schools, so your “it don’t mean nothin'” quote is a lot more appropriate than you realize…..can’t wait for the 2010 IB….”better get your whole grain, better eat your Wheaties”!

  37. I’m ready too, Rant. AU seriously may not score.

    And while I’ve got you, did you know that 68.4% of all percentages used in conversation are made up on the spot and have zero merit? Of course you do… And just curious; when you DO eat your Wheaties, does momma bring the milk straight from the cow out back or do ya’ll have a jug in the “icebox” that ya’ll keep it in?

  38. “You are the ones settling for mediocrity and discounted achievement, not us.”

    wow, really?

    you’re so successful that you’ve got this whole nifty blog thing going for you huh?
    i guess the money’s just rolling in… hell, you’re probably building an enormous money bin— ala scrooge mcduck.

    this is football, people. feel free to talk as much trash as you want. put some good sparks into it to make it enjoyable. but dear god, make us work a little bit to figure out that it took you 4 hours and 3 dictionaries to try to spell the words right. my 3 year old says more intelligent and witty things when he’s describing what his poo looked like.

    and the pure idiocy really is the only annoying thing going on here. but i guess it should be expected.
    could you make it mandatory to answer a few ‘easy’ questions before you can click on the submit button? like: spell alabama? (you see, it might be easy enough for some of these commenters because you’ve already spelled it for them)
    or 2+2=?
    or what year is it?

    i realize that if you implement this new system, it may prevent you from being able to submit your own articles, but that’s a chance i’m willing to take.

    one thing you seem to not realize is that the whole world could see this. all your drivel, all your oral diarrhea, the full-on tard that flows from you.. it’s all visible to everyone. but now i understand, you want people to know that how moronic you are so that they don’t expect good ‘journalism’ from you. it makes it easier i guess. but why not do it right and tattoo ‘tard’ on your forehead. you can do it in crimson if you want. maybe that will kill 2 birds with one stone for you? easily prove your status of imbecile while proudly showing off your school spirit!!!

    hopefully, you haven’t been able to trick or trap or drug any woman and force her into producing offspring. or maybe where you’re from, they use other family members for that task?
    please, for the sake of humanity… don’t do it. it’s not worth it to the rest of society. see, for humanity to move forward, we need people like you to not reproduce. it helps us all. and we would all be very thankful as your genes have not provided you with adequate levels of intelligence or class while giving you very high levels of tackiness and what many of us call ‘mouth-breather syndrome’.
    i know what you’re thinking, it’s all about nurture, not nature. well, then you need to try and find your parents and blame them for this pathetic mess you call a life.

  39. Well. I dont know about the “man football” comment….That O coodinator from Troy , (you know T.F. I have removed his name from my vocabulary), set our O-line back 2-3 years with that “lean and fast, read blocking” mentality. It took Ziemba a year to get back to his old playing weight. Our front 5 are very good this year. They too were the #1 rivals o-line recruting class (though we lost Chaz, and I know that is gonna bring on the chopblock crap , but I dont care)….Yes , they havent achieved there #1 ranking on the feild, but they very well could this year. They are loaded with experience and talent.

    Those ladies did pretty well against you guys last year as well. So, easy with the “man” crap. They pretty much whipped that ass for all but 4 minutes. If we had a defense last year, we win that game. Yall just ground us down and won it in the end with your depth. that is something we will soon have as well.

    Speakng of “men” ….who was it that took themself out of the game in the fourth ? Golden Boy was getting his ass lit up so bad he folded like a lawn chair. You need to buy him a pink thong / jockstrap for next years game.

  40. This is really really classy………….Why the hell would someone take time to type this garbage. Those kids have worked their entire lives to be able to play at the collegic level. They dont deserved to be bashed just because they went to AU.I respect them as athletes and would like to point out that this trash doesnt represent The University of Alabama nor the values it holds. Roll tide.Keep it classy gentlemen.

  41. Okay, where to begin…

    Poster #48, what is “collegic”? Did you mean to say collegiate? Rule #1, be able to spell before entering a written debate. And your name should read “defensivemastermind”… I think…if that’s what you meant.

    Now Ballplay, I don’t think your O-line whipped us last year, or else when you were given the ball on our 40 with minutes to play you could have closed the deal. Big plays, while impressive, don’t point to superior line play. basically, if we’re scoring by minutes in the trenches, we won 50-10.

    Finally, keeping it all in context, which of the two teams in last year’s IB had another game to play the following week? And which held more at stake? So which team do you think thought they could come in and run their base stuff and win, and which one believed they had to pull out all the stops to have a prayer? It almost backfired on us, and as I’ve said before, it was a greatly executed game plan by AU.

    But what makes you think our depth isn’t getting deeper too? As Cecil Hurt said, Abarn isn’t chasing us while we’re standing still. You’re jogging after a speeding train.

  42. Brodie Croyle – “Basically, if you only look at the last 2 & 1/2 qtrs of the game, we won.”

    ITK – “Basically, if we’re scoring by minutes in the trenches, we won 50-10.”

    ITK honorable mention (an oldie but a goodie)- “Which of the two teams in last year’s IB had another game to play the following week? And which held more at stake? So which team do you think thought they could come in and run their base stuff and win, and which one believed they had to pull out all the stops to have a prayer?

    To be followed by: “AU caused a traffic jam” and “Bama had to spend the entire previous week enduring grueling preparations for UT-Chattanooga while AU had an off week.”

  43. I should rephrase…..They held there own very well….

    Your arguement is a crock too…Your just pulling excuses out of your oversize rectum my friend.

    Are you suggesting that Nick Saban had his team hold back because of Florida ?? Yeah, right.

    We punched yall in the mouth from the get go. There was no “holding back” in either game plan, or effort, or adjustments. I assure you of that. And if you believe anything to the contrary, your high.

  44. Julia, truth bothers you like no one else I know.

    Why does it bother you that we withstood your sucker punch surge for the first 10 minutes, then, save one busted coverage, we shut the dipsy do down for the remaining 50?

    Julio – “All things occur inside a vacuum.”

    And yes, Florida defined who Bama was in 2009. They were in focus throughout every off season workout and August practice…you know, just Bama is to AU 365 days a year. It’s not unreasonable to believe we overlooked AU last season. Those impressive displays against Furman and Ball State (you know, the difference in your 2008 and 2009 seasons) just didn’t strike any fear in us.

    Amateurs. I’m surrounded by amateurs.

  45. Is This A Joke, what a BRILLANT inbred tard you proved yourself to be! Ranting about lack of education and spelling ability. Wow! I’ve never seen so many spelling, punctuation, capitalization and sentence structure errors combined in one post since, since, well, uh, since the last posts from BPI and Julia. LMAO! Did you take English 0.101 For Inbred Cow College Tards during your 3 weeks at Abarn? Enjoy your 1 decent recruiting class that still came in behind ours in 3 out of 4 services rankings, that still missed out on the top 4 and 7 of the the top 10 in Alabama including your home grown state sprint champion Corey Grant – and unlike us, you really needed a fast agile RB for your WAC offense. LMAO again! I know you’re all so damn jealous you could just shit purple. But we don’t give a fuck. Get use to it. 3 in a row, 23 and 14 on the way! I doubt the Barn will even score in the IB without an experienced QB and missing (snicker, snicker), Tate, the states best RB. ROTFLMFAO! RTR!

  46. really. great critique. you astound me.
    i’m glad the grammar and punctuation nanny decided to show up and add something more to this shite.
    you act like the number of wins alabama gets makes your dick bigger. and it seems like you reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally need them to get a lot of wins. in fact, most of you assholes act that way.

    i listen every single year to this stupid horseshit before the season starts. i hear finebaum make his predictions. i see bama fans that can’t talk because they’re too busy sucking each others’ dick because they’re going to be so great.

    it’s college football. any team, any saturday. talk, predictions, recruits… none of that matters once the game starts. sometimes a good team can trip on it’s own dick and get beaten by ULM. ulm? remember that one?? and the billboard?? that was the greatest shit i’ve ever seen.

    anyway. stop acting like you are a part of the team. be a fan. be a crazed ravenous fan. that’s ok. but stop acting like your team’s success has solved all of your pathetic failures in life and brought you back up to the level on which you belong. the crimson tide CANNOT fix your eretile dysfunction. nor can it take away the pain from your wife leaving you for your dad. or the memories of those horrible kids at school.

    the tide had a great team last year. you’ll have one this year too. i picked alabama to win it last year. nobody should have ever come close to beating them. tennessee was the wakeup they needed.
    but auburn almost got them. that should have never happened. you can call it gizmos all you want. those touchdowns aren’t worth less points than your so-called ‘man-football’. and as far as that part goes… how many yards did the best man on the tide have that game? against a weak, tired, beaten up, short-handed defense.

    why am i trying to talk like you can understand common sense? that’s the problem with auburn fans. we think that you guys should understand simple things. like: don’t drink your own urine, or it’s not ok to hump your sister, or it’s not ok to hump the goat, or it’s not ok to hump your mom… ok, really we just think you should know what not to hump.
    see? we don’t even expect much out of you feebs.
    there. solved?

  47. Isn’t it amazing how one article on a Bama fan site can bring so many Aubies together. Its nice to know we have so many little sisters that look up to us.

  48. And would take the time to let us know how they feel….as if we cared. Its adorable.

  49. 13, the scariest part is how many penis references “is this a joke” made in his post. I’m pretty sure he’s looking for man love on here.

    Wrong website, “is this a joke”.

    My favorite is just how huffy he got, trying to sound all smart and collected, and in his adrenaline orgasm he spelled it “eretile”…the very thing he was pushing to the front of the line for a cheap punchline his fat little fingers just couldn’t crank out for him.

    THAT’S why I love it here.

    And to think, all this started because Abarn had a player put underwear on his head.

  50. lol, that’s what you bring to the table? a weakass gay joke?
    nothing about how you’re gonna whip some ass this year? no more iron bowl shut-out nonsense? no farm jokes? nothing about some fake-ass championships? or the next 20 in a row you (personally) are going to win?
    i’m disappointed.
    i expected an ‘i’m rubber, you’re glue’ at least. but nope, skipped it and went straight for the gay joke.
    that’s just boring.

    i’ve got an idea. i’ll wait a while so you can try again. then i’ll come back and check on your progress.

  51. Is this a joke… you know, you’re not half bad, and therefore I don’t mind you at all actually.

    I wish more rival fans who posted here shared your same mindset on college football.

  52. and I say something you can’t , it’s great to be an alum of the national champions

  53. ALl I can say is we are national champions. Allbarn didn’t even get close to getting crystal. So who is better? Alabama is number 1. Allbarn was much better with Tony Franklin. GO get out your old BO Jackson VCR tapes. I’ll watch the Rose Bowl again on my iPod. Ahhh…feels so good to be #1…Ahhhh…..refreshing…crystal….

  54. CAN THE TURDSATINATION SAY PROBATION AGAIN SOON!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT TRASH ASS FINEBICTHING LOVERS!! JUST wonder,,,,how many of you dick suckers of SOS are in love with Satin and finescum..??? It should be called SUCKTOWN and not TOwn,,,,,,,, fucking losers…….

  55. That was wonderful. Drinking and blogging again, are you?

    Still, your players wear underwear on their heads. We just know how it feels to be the best, and you NEVER will.

  56. Way to go ITK. You brought out the best of the Barn. Shane would be proud of you. These monkey humping rat farmers just go to show that dementia, along with losing, is indeed contageous; and that spring is really booring unless you’re a pollenating bee or a sister breeding Barner. Got crystal, bitches. I’ll sell you a case of toilet paper for Toomers and all your future moral victories. We’ll take more crystal, thank you very much. Bitches! Our bitches! Daddy’s home bitches! RTR!

  57. yes, alabama won the NC. i’m proud of them. proud for the sec. glad the trophy stayed where it belonged (in the sec). and glad that the best team (last year) won it. that doesn’t always happen.
    i’m glad for bama fan family members. i could be more proud for them if it wasn’t for the drooling degenerates like crimsonite and intheknow.
    i mean, you know you’re not supposed to constantly sniff paint thinner right?

    ‘Got crystal, bitches’
    wow, the poetic nature of your post is awe-inspiring. you’ve once again taken others’ accomplishments and linked yourself to it somehow. maybe in that diseased, meth-eaten brain of yours, that makes sense. i’m glad you’ve had your moment in the sun. and i’m sorry i missed your part of the press conference after the texas game. and somehow i must have skipped intheknow’s article in espn and sports illustrated magazines about bama’s victory.
    oh wait, you’re really both just sad, sad people with very meaningless, sad lives.
    i guess i’d take bama winning some more if it would keep you both from beating your wives and kids more.
    you’re both shining examples of why reproduction shouldn’t be an ability that everyone has.

  58. Hell, someday Auburn will beat us again (when? I don’t know). Reading the comments on this blog, they’ll probably have to get the National Guard in to control the riots. The Barners will probably try to burn the state !

  59. “…Joke”, your recent compilation of witticisms and zingers has led me to realize that I am clearly no match for you.

    When you wrote “you’re not supposed to constantly sniff paint thinner”, sheer genius was pouring from your busy fingers.

    And when you said I was a sad person, I was forced to ask myself, “Am I a sad person? Is this faceless blog maverick correct?”

    And then the part about meth…I’m just glad you didn’t go ahead and say “methamphetamine” because if you had I would have died. Thankfully spelling it was a road block for you.

    And the part about beating women/children… I am grateful you were deterred neither by the serious and disgusting nature of this horrific offense that millions are forced to deal with nor by the overused nature of this tired, unfunny cliche.

    So thank you, Joke. Thank you for caring enough about me to set me straight.

    I have clearly claimed my alma mater’s accomplishments for my own for too long, and have no basis in sharing any of the joy of our football program’s superiority over yours…and heck, the entire landscape of college football for that matter. You have been a gift to me today. You information super highway truth pilgrim you.

  60. This person? really loves to hear himself (itself) talk. I bet he (it) even thinks he (it) is saying something relevant and that we actually care. The more he (it) rambles and rants, the more positive I am that he (it) is a demented schitzofrenic. In one sentence he (it) raves of his (its) pride for Bama and how they really were the best team in the country. In the next sentence he (it) slanders and demeans everything Crimson Tide with the same old tiresome cultural slurs that all our jealous rivals fart out their mouths. I wonder if the dumbass actually thinks that being part of the fanbase of our redheaded stepchild cow college over in east Alabama, (or is it west Georgia?) that he (it) is any better than what he (it) thinks we are. God I love to be hated. In sports that means you are extroidinarily successful. Got crystal, bitches. And yes as a 1971 grad of Alabama, and a financial doner, I am a part of the team accomplishments. Asshole! RTR!

  61. lol.
    itk: definitely an improvement. maybe you’ve got some potential.
    crimsonite: sorry man, something’s lacking. you want another shot?

    i thought tired, unfunny cliches were what this whole page was about? maybe i shouldn’t have gone by your example.

  62. The only example Egghead gives is how to incoherantly curse and bable about the TAHD !!!

  63. Ahhhh…Crystal. Like a fresh glass of ice water….refreshing… Alabama is #1. Allbarn needs Daddy Franklin and Bo back to win.
    Watching the Rose Bowl on my iPod again…ahhh….Champions.

  64. I like the authoritative approach, joke. Though neither convincing nor original, at least it’s a departure from your usual obsession with the male genitalia.

    Now I’ll just sit and wait for another of your cumbersome and unfunny rebuttles.

  65. its funny when they get so angry over the truth that they start cursing like fBamau does, 2009 NATIONAL CHAMPS!!!! you can like it you can love it or you can hate it because IT really doesn’t matter, but I will tell you one thing you dont have a choice in and that is you better get used to it because Bama is stacked with talent and we have the coach to do something with it, and if your team has Bama on their schedule get ready because the goal is to make you dread make you hate make you want to get it over with, beatdowns for everyone enjoy!! Roll Tide!!!!

  66. i congrat bamer on there nc but i must ask when will you start to raise money to bye the next one. How mush did it cost for this one and how long did it take to rase the money? Maby the gov. will apply for stim. money for you. I have fath that you will spend what it takes.

  67. bammerinNYC: Your old worn-out cliches about Auburn are no more true now than they were the last 27,000+ times you spouted them. There are more trailers in Tuscaloosa county than there are in Lee county. And no one has EVER accused T-town of being some kind of major cultural center. As for racism…nice to see that UAT has finally persuaded your racist fraternities to quit having their “Old South” parade, complete with pick up trucks and confederate flags. Auburn cut out that crap a long time ago.

    Bammers are hilarious. You are incredibly arrogant, with deep streaks of insecurity. That’s why everyone hates you.

  68. Okay, I usually don’t do this, but augunfighter…

    “there”? (should be their)
    “bye”? (should be buy)
    “mush”? (should be much)
    “rase”? (should be raise)
    “Maby”? (should be maybe)

    You’re just a dang idiot, period.

    And Kevin…

    1. We don’t give a rat’s butt hair how you feel about us.

    2. Let’s have that Tuscaloosa County to Lee County trailer ratio. You spoke with authority on the matter, so I’m sure you’ve numbered them all and have it.

    3. When you dominate the sport (not just this past season but historically), arrogance can and does usually follow. Thankfully as an Abarn fan that’s a struggle you’ll never have to worry about. You just struggle with little brother syndrome.

  69. Bama = national championships
    Auburn = the school that pioneered in the idea that we should grow kudzu over here and feed the cows.

    Bama = the school that got caught in a textbook scandal because the students needed books.
    Auburn = the school that exposed by the New York times because half of its sociology athletes were doing class work out of a COMIC book.

    Bama = the top program in the nation and the State.
    Auburn = the top program in Lee County and the third ranked program in the state behind Troy.

    Aubbos, when are you ever going to figure out….. auburn has never done anything of relevance or note to justify your undeserved arrogance. The more you talk, the more ignorant you look.

  70. ITK,
    Reece will fit right in on the plains. Gotta love the doo rag!
    But everytime I see it I think he might be covering up male pattern baldness caused by early steriod abuse. He should feel right at the “strength training institute” just down the way from the dressing rooms.

  71. I guess there could be more modular homes in Tuscaloosa County than in Lee County, just from the simple fact that the City of Tuscaloosa alone has 3 times more people than all of Lee County. In fact Abarn has more students than the City of Auburn has people, and many of the students live in on campus trailers too. You won’t find that shit at U of A you toothless inbred. Oh and by the way fart blossom, Mrs. Saban has been around, you know, like Toledo, Lansing, Cleveland, Baton Rouge, Miami, etc. And she loves Tuscaloosa. Can’t be too bad. I travel the whole country and I personally think it is one of the better cities of it’s size. I do think Mrs. Saban is more qualified to judge than you, and I know for a fact that I’m more qualified to judge than any of you. You dumbass inbred Lee County pig humpers. RTR!

  72. Anyway, you should be proud of your school just like we are proud of ours. We both have tremendous tradition. Here at Alabama we have a tradition of winning championships, winning in the Rose Bowl and kicking the ass of every other SEC school for 119 years. You there at the Barn have a tradition of losing to Bama, moral victories and rolling the poor old tree at Toomers Corner with shit paper. See how close we are? Congratulations. Keep the old chin up rubes. ROTFLMFAO! RTR!

  73. wow. you guys just constantly walk into every stereotype that anyone could come up with about bama fans, t-town, and the state in general.
    that’s actually the problem that most auburn fans have with people like you… itk, crimsonite, etc etc.

    you see, we unfairly get lumped in with complete and utter douchebags like yourselves. and it offends us. your actions, your complete asshole-ness, your undeserved smugness, your beloved ignorance… they all reflect badly on us. other than that, most of us couldn’t give a fuck what any of you say or do. we see it for what it really is. idiotic ramblings and chest-beatings of an attention seeking child.
    if you really represent the best of the state as you say, why not try to step it up a notch?
    we’ll work the rest out on the football field in november.

  74. Don’t give a fuck? Then what are you doing over here on our board shit for brains? Asshole-ness? Is that a new word ya’ll came up with at the Cow College in Barnyard English 0.101? I think you’ve got it all backwards dude. They hate us because we whip their asses and because we’re arrogant about our tradition. (you see we actually have one). But they hate your asses just as much because you’re a bunch of whiney, moral victory, traditionless, losers who just won’t shutup. As for stereotype cliches, yes we have an abundance of them in our fan base because of the States national rankings and because 3/4 of the States sidewalk alumni are Bama fans. But even though the Barn has far fewer fans that fit that description, your situation is much worse because yours actually attended the Cow College. So our fan base has an excuse. What’s yours? Got crystal, bitches. Got 22. Got 13. Got 3 in a row coming up. Keep it coming tard. Obsessed are ya? RTR!

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