Remember when Auburn offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn was thought to be a shoe-in for virtually any head coach opening in the land?

The “guru” was all the talk, with his unconventional offense that put up big numbers. It’s why Vanderbilt reportedly wanted him to fill the spot James Franklin eventually took.

Well, the only stock that has dropped faster and harder is the variety with Bernie Madoff’s signature on it.

All season, wherever a coach was on the way out, it was rumored that Gus was on the way in.

Ole Miss? As Houston Nutt’s tenure expired, Gus was going to Oxford. Reality? Helloooo former Arkansas offensive coordinator Hugh Freeze.

North Carolina? As Butch Davis made his way toward the exit, the thought was that Chapel Hill would be a perfect spot in the ACC for ole Gus. Reality? Helloooo former Southern Miss head coach, Larry Fedora.

Kansas? Well, at least there’s the Jayhawks, right? Helloooo former Florida offensive coordinator, and failure in the college ranks, Charlie Weis.

At one time late this football season, there were seventeen (17) openings for head coaches around the country.

How many of these has the Guru Malzahn snagged, or even sniffed?

Zero (0). One has to wonder why.

One possibility is what I have preached all along. That Gus Malzahn’s offense, what I’ve termed for three years as the “Dipsy-doo, Trickeroo Offense ©,” is nothing more than a bag of tricks–a shipment of smoke and mirrors that he opens every Saturday, built on hurrying to the line of scrimmage to see which finesse flag-football gimmick might work when the defense isn’t yet ready.

Is it possible that the Dipsy-Doo, Trickeroo © has run its course in a league that plays “man football?” Or is it possible that Cam Newton, from all appearances, single-handedly validated this embarrassing style of football with his freakish, once-in-a-lifetime dominating ability?

Facts don’t lie. With Cam Newton in 2010 Auburn was 14-0. Without him, in 2009 and 2011, Auburn was 7-5.

Somebody get Urban Meyer on the phone and ask him what it’s like once Nick Saban puts a bow on your unconventional offense. It ain’t pretty, and heart trouble may follow.

But maybe there’s another reason schools with openings are avoiding Gus Malzahn like dog droppings on the sidewalk.

Maybe her name is Kristi. Kristi Malzahn to be exact.

By now if you haven’t seen the video of Kristi being interviewed at Cross Church back home in Arkansas, it’s too late. No matter where you go to find it, this is what you see:

Or on YouTube, this:

The video surfaced just before the Alabama game, and was inflamatory to say the least. In it Kristi talks about Michael Dyer’s attitude issues and how hot she thinks Cam Newton is (again in a church setting).

She openly mocks the speech of coaching great Lou Holtz, talks about how much she hates Alabama (does the Bible condone hatred?), and belittles her husband for only being able to manage 22 points against Oregon. Heaven help the man if he doesn’t measure up elsewhere.

And folks, this is only the beginning.

In stark contrast, perhaps there is no better diplomat for University Alabama football and even athletics in general than Alabama head coach Nick Saban’s wife, Terry.

You might even call Terry Saban the anti-Kristi. Classy. Well-spoken. Reserved, yet ready to speak with respect about her husband, though able to cast a light on him to bring out his “human side.”

It’s been said that behind every good man is a great woman, and that certainly appears to be the case with Alabama head coach Nick Saban.

As for Gus, from sheer appearances alone, behind him appears to be a loose-knit kook who loves the limelight and the chance to run her mouth.

And, maybe, because of her, and the radioactivity she might bring with her to any football program, Gus might just be stuck in Auburn for another year or two…until he is fired for being what I have believed him to be all along:

A 7-5 coordinator in a league that, over time, chews up and spits out gimmick offenses.

There is still hope, however. Kheil Frazier may just turn out to be the Cam Newton reincarnate that our little Aubies hyped him to be. Of course, Gus will have to incorporate the forward pass into his repertoire to make this a reality.

And there are still schools looking for head coaches. Though I wouldn’t expect him to turn up at places like Hawaii, Arizona State, Southern Miss or Texas A&M.

You might be more likely to see him at Arkansas State. Or Colby College. Or Ferris State. Places with current openings that will hire a coach as long as his wife agrees to wear one of these:

In closing, I believe I speak for all Alabama fans when I say I hope Gus and Kristi are at Auburn for a long, long time. The impressive display he mustered on November 26 was one for the ages…and the DVR.

But for a woman who apparently loves words, you do have to wonder what words have been shared with Kristi in private since her fateful interview in Arkansas…an interview that may have cost her family millions.

That Vandy job looks pretty good now, doesn’t it Gus? Did Kristi cost him a head coaching job? It’s hard to say. But whether she cost him that shot, or simply fueled public perception that she isn’t ready to be a head coach’s first-lady…or simply caused embarassment…her act behind that microphone appears to have come at a higher price than expected.

[UPDATE: Since the original publishing of this article on December 9, ole Gus has accepted what most agree is one of the top jobs in college football: Arkansas State, for a reportedly $550,000 pay cut. Read more on this amazing opportunity here.]


(Follow me on Twitter for capstonereport.com news, commentary and smack.)

86 Responses to “Kristi Malzahn’s words have proven costly” Subscribe

  1. The Flash December 9, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    Amazing, Alabama is in the BCS National Championship game and all you’ve got to write about is Kristi Malzahan?!

    And you Bama fans accuse Auburn fans of being obsessed with Bama? LOL

    • ITK December 9, 2011 at 7:01 pm #

      No, we have about 40 days until we beat you down. So using some of that time to point out what idiocy looks like is just fun.

      In a related story, glanced in your bathroom mirror today?

      • Just A Fan December 10, 2011 at 9:38 am #

        ITK you promising the same kind of beat down you promised before the last game. You remember when you said put all you money on Nick Saban. LMAO

        • DES December 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

          @ JAF- Beat down??? U DOPE, A beat down is 42-14 not 3. Get it? RTR

          • Just A Fan December 10, 2011 at 2:36 pm #

            Yea well DES I know what a beat down is, but I don’t think ITK or Crimsonite do, they both said Alabama was going to give us a beat down in Nov. and they lost by three. So I would say it is you fellow bammers that are the dopes and you too if you think Bama is going to beat LSU 42-14. No I take that back that would make you an idiot like Crimsonite who guaranteed bama would win 31-6 last time bama played LSU!

      • No dog in the fight December 15, 2011 at 1:31 am #

        Yeah and McElwain left for the dream gig at Colorado St. Bama shouldn’t be so confident playing a team they already lost to.

    • WATCH IT December 15, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

      The link to the interview is here. http://deadspin.com/5868492/

  2. Crimsonite December 9, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    Obviously you Corndog retards would have no idea what kind of feelings are evoked in the nations and maybe even the worlds greatest and nastiest rivalry, since the other colleges in your state are more like high schools. And correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Awbie win a National Championship last year – and whupped your asses too? We’ve already killed their phucking trees and they’ve shat on Bear’s grave among other things. Everybody can count themselves damn lucky that we don’t tear down stadiums and riot like they do in European and South American Soccer. Dumbass! RTR!

    • Just A Fan December 10, 2011 at 9:46 am #

      That was last year Crimsonite, quit living in the past!

      Hate is like drinking poison and hoping it kills your enemy.

      Look at what Updyke’s hate hate for Auburn has gotten him.

      My bet is you are next Crimsonite.

  3. The Flash uses Corndogs for Dildos December 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

    She got a purty mouth mmmhmm bowah

  4. The Flash December 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

    I love hard fat kok shoved in my mouth and ass repeatedly as I sniff corn dogs

  5. Crimsonite December 9, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

    Coach Miles passed away and went to Heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates, God was waiting there for him. He said “Welcome Coach, follow me I have something to show you”. They walked a ways together and came upon this small frame house that was painted with fading Purple and Gol – er, Yellow. It had a peeling LSU decal on one of the front windows and a faded Bengal Tiger pennant on a stick stuck in the front lawn. God said to Coach Miles, “This is yours Coach. There are very few people in Heaven who get their own houses”. Coach Miles said. “Thank you so much God”. Then they walked around behind the house, and there not far away was a huge 3 story mansion with 50 rooms. The walls were Red Gold trimmed with White Gold. There was a 20 foot tall script A inlaid with Mother of Pearl. The porch and sidewalks were built of Diamonds with script A’s inlaid with Rubys. Each window had a decal with the Elephant coming through the A. The front lawn had a 50 foot flagpole made out of Platinum with a huge Bama flag flyng. Les looked at God and said. “God I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but why is Coach Saban’s house so much nicer than mine, I beat him 3 times out of 5?” God looked at Miles, chuckled and said. “That’s not Coach Saban’s house. That’s Mine”! – RTR!

    • DES December 9, 2011 at 8:33 pm #

      Damn!! Nite I thought you were going to say ,for sure, The Bears pad. LOL. But this is another day and time. Saban works just fine. With the Tide and on Miles. One thing you CAN be sure of that Flash, the living yo-yo will be here soon. Roll ‘BAMA!!!

    • Just A Fan December 10, 2011 at 9:53 am #

      Crimsonite you must not get out much or have many friends, because that joke is so old.

  6. Crimsonite December 9, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    Nah. See this has all happened before. It’s like de ja vu. Most of these tards are too young to know the Bear. His house is on the other side of the hill and it was Shug Jordan the last time. LMMFAO!
    What with all the awards being passed out ya’ll ought to go to YouTube and check out Trent’s highlights from the LSU game. You’ll get to see Doak Walker run cleat tracks right up and over Chuck Bednarik’s ass. Bwaa haww haww! And Flash The Flagelator is really gonna pissed about this one. Oh he’ll say just how much did that mean on Nov 5th. But that’s not the point. He’ll be pissed cause I was right. What I’m talking about is the new line. Bama has been installed as the odds on favorite to win the National Championship. At the moment Vegas has it: Bama (- 185) and LSU (+150). ESPN publishes 4 major books. 3 of them are pickem and 1 has Bama a 1 point favorite. Talk about disrespect. Bwaa haww haww. And LSU is supposed to be the greatest team of all time? Not! RTR!

  7. bamabino December 9, 2011 at 10:49 pm #

    A Christian Leadership Conference and Bimbo doesn’t mention the Good Lord’s name once. Must be an Auburn God Thing.

  8. FYI December 10, 2011 at 12:33 am #

    Yawn

  9. finebammer December 10, 2011 at 7:35 am #

    And, my my, isn’t the hunny badger having the tough time wit da ho’s??

    http://m.deadspin.com/honey-badger-penis/

    like ITK said, it’s a mirror thang.

  10. AU Tiger December 10, 2011 at 11:02 am #

    For all your negative comments about Malzahn’s offense, have you seen this clip showing Alabama running it in the first half of the last years Iron Bowl before the epic meltdown?

    • DES December 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

      Epic meltdown ? Yes it was. But to see a bigger one, just take a look at this years so called Iron Bowl. What was it again…42 to what was it….? RTR

    • ITK December 14, 2011 at 11:07 am #

      Waaaaaaah!

      42-14

  11. AJ December 10, 2011 at 11:41 am #

    Congratulations, this is the worst article I’ve ever read. Keep up the poor work.

  12. Crimsonite December 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

    Why thank you AJ. Asshole. If you don’t like it, go back to your barnhole!
    Looks like we keep our coordinators for a while longer. aTm hired Sumlin instead of Smart. Which considering their offensive philosophy was the right choice. Then again considering they are now in the SEC’s gauntlet of defenses, was a dumbass move. Thank you aTm! And in an artical on VegasInsider last night, apparently after accepting at Memphis, McElwain backed out because their financial problems caused them to balk at his requirement that they upgrade their football facilities. Maybe both of them can get their minds back on the job at hand now. RTR!

  13. Hunter-Gatherer December 10, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

    So, is Kirby Smart’s controversial boyfriend keeping him from head coaching jobs? Zing!

  14. Crimsonite December 10, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    We certainly hope so. That way none of you bastards will ever score a TD against our defense again! As for your opinion, it’s as retarded as you. Only, jealous haters, homers and retards dis Saban. He is nationally by the business community, the media and his peers in both college and pros considered the most professional, most powerful and best coach in the nation. But I don’t have to tell YOU that, retard. You know like all the other POS homers. You just can’t seem to keep that shyt you have for brains from drooling out of your mouth. RTR!

    • The Flash December 10, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

      Yea and you just keep living in the past Crimsonite. You see Les Miles just won Coach of the Year, not Nick Saban, he has a better overall winning percentage than little Nicky, has a better head to head record against him also, and on Jan. 10th will have the same amount of BCS national championships as him, that last which will be won by beating him! We know you and the other bammers like you will not be able to handle that, nor make up enough excuses this time as to why it happened, so the sucide watch will be on in that state of Alabamer that night.

      Miles’ players love playing for him and his assistants love working with him. Because Miles’s has proven you don’t have to be an ass to be successful.

    • WarEgl December 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm #

      I honestly don’t think Nick will ever leave Alabama. They are the perfect match. A guy with no conscience and no ethics, worshiped by a fan base too stupid to value either.” Steve Spurrier

  15. Hunter-Gatherer December 10, 2011 at 2:51 pm #

    I’ll disagree crimsonite.. most people don’t think Saban’s 15-17 professional record was very impressive.

    • DES December 11, 2011 at 1:59 pm #

      Well, Hunt-Gath, A lot of coaches that try the pro route do not make it. As a head coach or an asst. Can you name others? Why point out just one- CNS!! He is just fine where he is now. RTR

  16. Crimsonite December 10, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    There you go letting that shyt drool out of your cranium again. Wherever you went to school it was a waste of good money. Never mentioned his pro coaching. He’s not a pro coach so it’s not relevant. Said he is professional. Which is why Forbes the worlds most respected business publication named him the most powerful coach in the nation. Something I might add that won’t happen to the grass eater even if hell freezes over. Which reminds me of that ass humpin coonass Flash. Your goat coach – by the way does he have 3 stomachs to digest that grass properly – won 1 coach of the year. Congrats, he’s in great company of about 80 other coaches in the past hundred years or so. Doesn’t make him shyt except for this year. I told you once retard that Miles does not have a better record. Their winning % is exactly the same but it can be qualified that Saban has rebuilt all three of his schools and Miles only OSU. So in reality Saban has doen a better job. In 4 weeks Saban will have 3 NC’s to the grass eaters 1. RTR!

    • The Flash December 10, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

      You can rationalize everything can’t you Crimsonite. Even why you think it is ok for you and your relatives to have sexual relations. That might be common in your family and in Alabama but it is not in the rest of the country. As mentioned earlier you need to get out more, and see that there is a whole world out here that doesn’t think the same way you do Crimsonite! You inbred reneck.

  17. DAMAGE INC. December 10, 2011 at 3:51 pm #

    I did happen to see this video before the chu’uch pulled it – Gus’s wife is a total whack job – I’m pretty sure he keeps her “in the dark” about a lot of things but what a dumb brAUd –

    I really believe this video prevented him from getting at LEAST two head coaching jobs – why would the Universities want to invest and put money into that potential DISASTER.

  18. Hunter-Gatherer December 10, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

    Crimsonite – don’t you have a cousin you need to go take on a date? You’re spending too much time spewing worthless filth from your toothless mouth..

  19. The Flash December 10, 2011 at 7:04 pm #

    The Honey Badger gives great head

    • The Flash December 11, 2011 at 7:20 am #

      Who ever you are you fraud you just prove you jealousy every time you post.

    • The Flash December 11, 2011 at 7:24 am #

      Hey Crimsonite you fraudulantly use my screen name, because you have nothing intelligent to say under your own. Typicial bammer action.

  20. The Flash December 11, 2011 at 7:26 am #

    Crimsonite you fraudulantly post using my screen name because you have nothing intelligent to say using yours.
    Typical bammer action

    • Crimsonite December 11, 2011 at 7:32 am #

      I don’t know why there making such a big deal about Sandusky. I don’t see anything wrong with anything they have accused him of.

  21. Crimsonite December 11, 2011 at 7:50 am #

    You only have one little problem trying to usurp my screen name, asshole. You can’t use my avatar. Bwaa haww haww! RTR!

  22. Crimsonite December 11, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    Wonder what Dyer did to get his ass suspended 3 weeks before the Poultry Bowl? That’s gotta hurt. Normally I’d think it was funny, but with so many assholes around the country looking for the SEC to fail in the Bowls, I have to hope even the Goat Phuckers win. LMMFAO! RTR!

    • Hoopie December 11, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

      Rumor is that he failed a drug test.

    • Hoopie December 11, 2011 at 10:42 pm #

      Dyer is now suspended indefinitely. The rumor now is that it wasn’t drugs. The speculation is that he has grade problems. If it is we won’t know because the coaches can’t comment on that.

      I’m just getting this out there now because the CR will try and spin this some worse way tomorrow.

  23. Hoopie December 11, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    So you are saying that Mazahn is no longer marketable because of his wife ..or ..this season’s poor results. Your flimsy evidence is that he isn’t getting these jobs even though he has been interviewed. Once again, logic escapes you stoopid Bammers. If those 2 issues were real THEN Gus wouldn’t even be getting interviewed.

    Gus makes $1.3 million a year and his daughter goes to Auburn. It’s gonna take a lot of money to get him to change. Not many schools are going to pay that much money for an unproven head coach.

    Baylor is a perfect opportunity for Gus to succeed with his offense and to continue networking in the coaching ranks. The problem is that Baylor only paid Sumlin $900k. Gus would be crazy to leave Auburn for less than $2.5 mil/year. Who is gonna pay that much?

    I never saw the Kristi Malzahn video, but heard enough about it to agree that it causes valid questions about her. If she was the issue, Gus wouldn’t even get interview opportunities. A combination of the right money and the right situation is what will hire Gus.

    • DES December 11, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

      That job at Baylor would fit coach Gus like a glove. After all it is just up the road from Blynn. RTR

      • Hoopie December 11, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

        ..What does Blynn JC have to do with Gus? Gus has never even been there, so how does it “fit him like glove”???

        This answer outta be good. Another ignorant Bammer will outsmart hisself trying to be a smart aleck.

        • DES December 12, 2011 at 11:36 am #

          Hoopy- Just sayin’ maybe there is another Cam down @ Blynn j.c. that would go to Baylor and help coach Gus and not end up @ Auburn. Now put that in your pipe and smoke it along with Dyer.RTR

    • BamaBrando December 11, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

      I hope Gus stays at Auburn and eventually becomes Head Coach. That would be awesome.

  24. The Flash December 12, 2011 at 3:15 am #

    Hey Crimsonite what’s the status of Trent’s illegal endorsement of that bodybuilding product?

    • BamaBrando December 12, 2011 at 11:15 am #

      The real question is how many LSU players are going to be academically ineligible for the big game? Your fear of Trent is noted.

      • The Flash December 12, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

        And your fear of any of the LSU players is noted!

  25. Crimsonite December 12, 2011 at 6:40 am #

    You wish ass biter. Just your typical Barnturd bullshyt started by ITAT or Vesta_Tiger or some other piece of shyt. They’re all over the internet right now. Poor bastardS are trying to stir up T-Town Mens Wear again. Even the Bama haters over this rematch aren’t buying it. Usually they just tell the Barners to phuck off and go back to their own boards. Any way it wouldn’t save the Corndogs asses. After we whup you and the National Championship is ours, even if Trent or anybody got busted we would only have to vacate the win but you wouldn’t get to pick it up. It would just be a year without a champion like with USC and Oklahoma. Bwaa haww haww! RTR!

    • The Flash December 12, 2011 at 8:21 am #

      I wish what? I just asked a question. If Trent gets in trouble it will just give you the excuse you would be looking for. But your right, if they let the guilty five from OSU play in the Sugar Bowl last year, there is now way they will do anything to Trent before this game.

      Are you as confident you are going to “whup” us as you were before the last game? We both know how that turned out for you, and you won’t have 100,000 pom pom waving gumps in the stands cheering and trying to help you out this time. You sticking with 31 – 6 again for this game?

  26. Crimsonite December 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

    Obviously you haven’t been in the SuperDome when Bama was playing for a National Championship. I have, 3 times. That closed in place half full of Bama fans is just about as loud as T-Town. What’s more, the BCSNCG sponsor Mercedes-Benz is a Tuscaloosa business. You drive a Mercedes and you’re driving a Crimson Tide car. It will be like a homecoming. LMAO! As for the score nobody knows now. Both teams are familiar with each other so who knows what adjustments will be made or how successful they will be. Then there’s the Buffoon factor that decided the last game. Will it raise its ugly head again or has it been put to sleep? Tell you one thing though, if I was forced to bet a ransom that I couldn’t afford to lose on a specific spread, I’d bet Bama 31-6 before I’d bet LSU. The Green Bay packers couldn’t score 31 on Bama’s Defense if the game went 6 overtimes. RTR!

    • The Flash December 12, 2011 at 7:27 pm #

      It was your drunken ass that said Bama was going to score 31 points on LSU last game Crimsonite! But nice attempt at trying to turn that around, but nobody except someone as stupid as you could have thought anybody would score 31 points on either of these teams. But that was your prediction not mine, so once again I ask you are you sticking with it? Are you scared to own up to your last prediction Crimsonite?

      No I haven’t been in the Superdome when Bama was playing for a National Championship, why would I? And I’m sure you haven’t been in the Superdome when LSU was playing for a National Championship either, or you would have said so, but I have twice. The difference is that place will not be half full of Bama fans this time. Where do you think the majority corporate sponsors are located and where do you think their tickets are going to go to? I promise you not Alabama. Mercedes-Benz may have a location in Tuscalooser, as does Louisiana, but they are not a Tusaloosa business, you dumb ass!

      So why I’m smart enough to know there will be a lot of Bama fans there, are you smart enough to know Bama will not have more fans in the Louisiana Superdome than LSU will? And in case you haven’t been to Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge, its considered one of the loudest stadiums in America by a lot more people than Bryant Denney is. Fact!

      So one thing is for sure when Alabama has the ball it won’t be as quiet as it was last game in Denney Bryant Stadium. Be stupid enough to punt to the Honey Badger and you’ll see just how loud it can be! Oh that’s right one of you bammers already sent a letter to Saban begging him not to punt the ball to the Honey Badger, but is that because of how good he is or how poor you kick coverage teams have been? Last LMAO!!!

    • The Flash December 12, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

      And Crimsonite is the Bafoon factor now Saban? Is that what you are really saying, because he is the only one that made bafoon like calls in the last game.

  27. Fat_Die December 12, 2011 at 3:09 pm #

    It is rumored that the honey badger got the suit he was wearing at the Heisman awardsfrom a famous Baton Rouge pimp whom owns a suit shop.Hope nothing surfaces from these rumors.LSU is really gonna need him in the big game.

  28. The Flash December 12, 2011 at 7:38 pm #

    First you bama fans say the Honey Badger didn’t do nothing in the first game against Bama (yet still won) and now Fat Die is saying LSU is really going to need him?

    You bama fans can’t even agree with each other. LMAO

    And I beleive, as usual, you’ve got the rumors backwards Fat, isn’t it Trent in trouble for the Mens clothing? You would think as a paid sponser for Mens Warehouse, the Honey Badger wouldn’t have been able to Out Style, Trent in New York! Especially since Trent isn’t even from Alabama, oh well maybe living there for three years has rubbed off on him. He does live in Alabama now doesn’t he? Seems like I remember reading somthing somewhere where his mother was given a house somewhere in Alabama or at least free rent.

    • BamaBrando December 13, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

      What did Hunny Bunny do in the first game? I remember Trent running his ass over, and that haymaker clothesline that got called ‘holding’. I guess he wanted to play football, but he got high, he got high, he got high.

  29. Fat_Die December 12, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

    “Paid” sponsor for Mens Warehouse? Honey Badger is paid? Hmmm. Eye for an eye there Flash. It is easy to get your little panties all bunched up I can see. Your spin on things gets funnier every day Flash. But it is ok keep spewing your crap,I enjoy pushing your sweet little buttons. Sticks and stones……………. :)

  30. The Flash December 12, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    I have a fetish I need to tell everyone. When I’m fucking LSU players in their cornholes, I like to climax by taking the old-fashioned phones in my house and smashing them in the players’ grape so I can hear the bell ring

    • The Flash December 12, 2011 at 11:15 pm #

      You don’t need a screen name to tell when it is crass bammer fan using the screen name of a more inteligent poster here on this site. Bammer fans are all sexual perverts as you can tell by their post. This one being a perfect example.

  31. Fat_Die December 12, 2011 at 8:40 pm #

    ^^ Oh my flash,you are a freaky little devil aren’t you? And yes rent is free here in Alabama,you should move on down here to Gods country and experience living at its finest.I was just worried about the sweet honey badger getting in trouble for accepting suits cause LSU is really gonna need him if they expect to qin again,I mean he was so affective last time we played. He did kick the winning field goal didn’t he?

  32. Crimsonite December 12, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

    Why don’t you go home and slip a couple of cyanide pills you retarded motherphucker. Spare us any more of your asshole drivel. There is only one Mercedes fabrication and assembly plant in the United States and it is located in Tuscaloosa. Tuscaloosa is the home of Mercedes USA. Every Mercedes in this country since the plant opened was built in Tuscaloosa. The sponsor money for the BCSNCG comes from Tuscaloosa. Who gives a shit how many Mercedes dealerships you bastards have in Louisiana. Every car there was built in Tuscaloosa. As for your phucking corporate sponsors. Most corporate sponsors for events like the BCSNCG are national sponsors, and since there are a whole hell of a lot more fans nationwide in the Bama Nation than there are LSU, I’ll phucking guarantee you there will be more Bama fans there with corporate tickets than phucking Corndog fans. If you anylize the first game with something besides moving beads on an acabus with your dick, you would see that Bama had the oppotunity to score at least 31.

    • The Flash December 12, 2011 at 11:57 pm #

      LMAO Crimsonite,
      YOU didn’t guarantee that Bama would have the “oppotunity” (spelled your way) to score 31 points, YOU guaranteed Bama would win 31-6!

      Bama got within LSU’s 20 yard line exactly one time in that game. Other than that one time, each time they crossed LSU’s 30 yard line, the bama offense went backwards resulting in 3 missed and 1 blocked field goal of 40+ yards. Despite what you might remember from your drunk stupor that game Crimsonite, Alabama did not attempt those field goals on third down. They were stopped by LSU’s defense. The only way Bama had the “oppotunity” (again spelled your way) to score 31 points was if you would have given them 6 points for each of the four field goals they missed! Hey come to think of it maybe Saban thought they would get 6 points for each field goal over 40 yards and that is why he kept trying them! LMAO

      Crimsonite you are a joke!

  33. Auburn Fan December 12, 2011 at 9:20 pm #

    Why don’t all of y’all shut the he’ll up. None of y’all graduated from LSWho or Alabama. Auburn is a lot like Northeestern, the Ivy League, and Vanderbilt. All our fans either graduated from Auburn, have a family member who attended, or walked past the agricultural building and became connected. You guys just wish y’all could have a War Eagle moment with a fellow alumnus in Alaska

  34. Fat_Die December 12, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

    Rofl,^^^ I have a buddy who graduated from Auburn a year ago and he still works at the mom and pop store up the road. So good point sucka.

  35. Fat_Die December 12, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

    And I guess you have to graduate from one of these fine colleges to have an opinion or to be a fan?

  36. The Flash December 13, 2011 at 12:02 am #

    No Fat Die, opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one. But in your case Fat Die, your opinions are like assholes, they stink!

  37. Crimsonite December 13, 2011 at 4:25 am #

    Hey Flash, what the hell have you been doing, an asshole inventory? Wow, so Coonass asses stink. Imagine that! I wouldn’t know, but you keep up the good work, ok? The nation can always use a good asshole inventory! Just a guess, but I would say the most assholes are in Louisiana, right?Personally the only assholes I get close to belong to several girlfriends and theirs don’t stink. In fact in the dark if it wasn’t for a hairy side and a smooth side I couldn’t tell one side from the other. In fact lots of times I can’t anyway! Bwaa haww haww! RTR!

    • The Flash December 13, 2011 at 12:02 pm #

      Yea right you old goat, you really think anybody is going to believe that! LMAO

  38. The Flash December 13, 2011 at 6:11 am #

    Personally, I preferr assholes that are more hairy. Let’s me know that i’m dealing with a real man!

    • The Flash December 13, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

      You probably really do! And based on your activitivity here you are probably a crossdresser also! LMAO

  39. Fat_Die December 13, 2011 at 8:44 am #

    ^ wow Flash,are you trying to drop hints or something?.Where is just a fagn when you need him?

  40. The Flash December 13, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    I challenge the next asshole who fraudueny uses my screen name to a duel at high noon Jan 8. I’m not phuching around anymore

  41. Fat_Die December 13, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

    He was the power player of the game,that’s what he did! Hunny bunny ain’t no jokes!

  42. CRIMSON HAMMAH December 13, 2011 at 6:18 pm #

    WAS KRISTI ONE OF CAM’S WHITE HOSE WHO DID HIS ONLINE ACADEMIC WORK?

  43. CRIMSON HAMMAH December 13, 2011 at 6:19 pm #

    AU 3 OUT OF 4 NON WINNING SEC RECORD – IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THE OC IS ? AU TRADITIONALLY MEDIOCRE AT BEST 2 HIT CENTURY WONDER – LOOK IT Up

  44. Jay December 14, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Yep Terry is so classy she threw the “Do you know who I am” card out when she was told there was a wait to have her hair done

    • ITK December 14, 2011 at 11:08 am #

      I hope it worked. She’s more important that you, clearly, and needed that hair did.

  45. Ms. Kitty December 14, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    Just want to clarify that Hugh Freeze was never the offensive coordinator at Arkansas. He was the offensive coordinator and then head coach at Arkansas State, which is about 5 hours east of the University of Arkansas. Gus Malzahn just took a huge pay cut to accept Freeze’s former head coaching job at Arkansas State. I’m not sure why he was willing to do that, but it’s nice to have him back in Arkansas!

  46. crimson hammah December 14, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    without cam gus is 5-11ish in last 16 in sec

  47. RC December 14, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

    War Egl:

    Please provide that link. Plus, Gene might NEVER want to leave that trash heap in Lee County, but the hypocritical, lying son of a bitch will be forced out in 3 years without $Cam and Gus. Yeah, Gene, Cam can do no wrong. Sorry bastard

  48. RC December 15, 2011 at 6:45 am #

    NO DOG,

    Yeah nobody s/b exude confidence when preparing for a team. They should hang their heads low for the rest of their life over a 9-6 Overtime loss where the other team didn’t score a TD either.

  49. Ted December 15, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    Here’s the interview for those of you who want to see it. http://deadspin.com/5868492/

  50. mrClean March 9, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    “Ole Miss? As Houston Nutt’s tenure expired, Gus was going to Oxford. Reality? Helloooo former Arkansas offensive coordinator Hugh Freeze.”

    Correction — Hugh Freeze was never an offensive coordinator at Arkansas, although Gus Malzahn was. Freeze was an assistant athletic director for football external affairs at Ole Miss in 2005, and held an interim coaching position there before the hiring of Houston Nutt. In 2008, Coach Freeze was hired as a head coach by Lambuth University, where he stayed for two seasons. In 2010, he was hired as offensive coordinator for Arkansas State, and earned the head coaching position prior to this past season. Because of his tremendous success at ASU with a 10-win season, Freeze was just hired as head coach at Ole Miss.

    I just thought I’d point that out since there is absolutely no comparison between the athletic programs of Arkansas and Arkansas State. That would be similar to comparing Louisiana-Monroe to LSU… Gus Malzahn had plenty of opportunity to get a lucrative head coaching position at several different BCS programs, a few of which were in the SEC — the nation’s toughest conference. However, Malzahn doesn’t have the balls to become a head coach of an SEC team — it has nothing to do with his wife or her ‘ditsy slut’ persona. Gus took the job as head coach of Arkansas State where he we be able to run his cereal box, high-school style offense without any fear of failure. Hugh Freeze seemingly moved up the ladder from lowly Arkansas State to Ole Miss, where he has a chance to prove himself at the highest level of college football. Gus Malzahn seemed to take a rather large step down from the highest paid assistant coach in the nation ($1.2 million annually) to the highest paid coach in the Sun Belt ($600k annually plus incentives).

  51. Jack April 6, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    Nick Saban is a dbag.

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