Shane: SEC Football Spring Preview

By Shane from Centerpoint

It’s Sunday, May 24th 2009, somewhere around 100 days prior to the actual beginning of the college football season. This is the time of the year when I would normally be waxing poetic in the middle of some story about my summer vacation down on the Emerald Coast. However, a far greater mission has been set before me. In order to keep pace with the state’s largest newspaper, The Birmingham News, I’ll have to forget writing about the surf, sand and sea-related stuff. According to The News it’s time to make my annual end of spring preseason prognostications.

I’ll do this by ranking the SEC teams in their respective divisions from top to bottom (by order of finish). I also understand that the News will present their rankings based on voting by each school’s sports information director. I hate to play the devil’s advocate here but, let’s be honest, allowing an S.I.D. to determine who’s ranked where is no different than letting your five year-old sit down and randomly fill in the blanks.

Anyway, I’ll start the ball rolling and throw my two-cents worth out on the table. Here’s the way I see it right now:

SEC Western Division

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide
I know it has become a cliché to talk about Nick Saban’s “process”, but the Crimson Tide is stacked (with three greats classes of superior athletes) on the side of the ball that Saban uses as his main weapon – the defense. This year’s stop-unit will be armed to the teeth and will likely cause most of the offenses they’ll face to come to a grinding halt. Look for Greg McElroy to grab the offense by the horns and show a significant improvement over last year’s starting quarterback. The talent on both sides of the ball will be better than last year’s squad. Alabama should return to Atlanta to play in the SEC championship game.

#2 Ole Miss
The secret to success in the SEC is usually found when a team has a seasoned, quality quarterback. Other than Florida’s (all world) Tim Tebow, Mississippi’s Jevon Snead is the cream of the crop. He has an NFL-caliber arm, quick release, athleticism, and all the intangibles that make a great “field general”. The Rebels are also loaded at other key positions as well – their group of defensive (down) linemen is as good as any team’s in the country, and they also have a deep, talented core of running backs. It goes without saying that Houston Nutt is a very good game-day coach. Ole Miss may be a diamond in the rough.

#3 LSU
All things being equal, the influx of talent that Nick Saban originally brought to LSU – reinforced with a superb job of perpetuating that inflow by Les Miles – keeps the Tigers in a continuous reload mode. LSU will compete for the division title every year. Coach Miles is clearly a great recruiter. However, the Tigers are rebuilding depth along both lines of scrimmage and may suffer some growing pains in this area early in the season. Regardless, I believe the race for the SEC west crown is between these first three teams only.

#4 Arkansas
Bob Petrino is going to eventually produce a winner in Razorback country, but not this year. I do think we’ll see signs and flashes of what the future of Arkansas football will look like under Petrino. He simply has to have time to get his type of athletes stockpiled, and two years aren’t nearly enough. Ryan Mallet will help to improve the Razorback offense and the Hogs are deep and talented enough to be a challenge for every opponent.

#5 Auburn
Gene Chizik is between a rock and a hard place – coming in with a bad win/loss record to a team that was a loser last season. For whatever reason, Tommy Tuberville didn’t restock the cupboard. The evidence is stark and sobering – Auburn is a team devoid of SEC-caliber talent. Truthfully, it looks like a 3-4 year project is needed to reconstruct this unit into a team that competes in the upper echelon.

#6 Mississippi State
Poor Dan Mullen. He’s committed to try to resurrect a school that is known as the place where a good coach will probably come to a bad end. I doubt Mullen will make it 3 years. Jackie Sherrill and Sylvester Croom are good football coaches – Mississippi State is just a lousy school. By volunteering to be the next victim, Dan Mullen just jumped in between the devil and the deep blue sea.

SEC Eastern Division

#1Florida
Two words — TIM TEBOW! Not only does Coach Meyer load the coffers with outstanding talent but he also has perhaps the best college quarterback to ever play the game running the show for him. Couple that awesome offensive firepower with one of the best defenses in the land, and it’s very possible that the Gators could repeat as national champions. An appearance in the SEC championship game is almost a foregone conclusion.

#2 South Carolina
Something tells me the ole ball coach is desperate to win “big” at South Carolina. I sense that Steve Spurrier feels the urgency. I don’t think people should underestimate his ability because he is such a competitor. The eastern division will be down a little this year. Maybe Spurrier can seize the opportunity and field a greatly improved team this time around. Time is growing short for Darth Visor.

#3 Georgia
I know the Bulldogs lost both a great quarterback and one of the best running backs in the nation to the NFL draft, but Mark Richt continues to sign top-level players. Georgia has been good since Richt arrived on campus. Nevertheless, there has to be some drop-off when the team makes a transition (adjustment) to playing without a super star like Matthew Stafford. As a result, the Bulldogs may struggle early in the season.

#4 Kentucky
Rich Brooks is a solid football coach and has been good for Wildcat football. His teams play a tough, hard-nosed brand of football. Under his command Kentucky is competitive, and that is about as much as the fans should expect from Brooks. After all, Kentucky is a basketball school.

#5 Tennessee
Who knows? Did Phil Fulmer bring any talent in during the last three years he coached the team? You couldn’t prove it by the product he put on the field last season. Can “goofy” Lane Kiffin do anything to change the situation? That is yet to be seen, but I do know that he’s made a couple of the best SEC coaches want to “pound” his team when they face him for the first time. Should SEC fans take this guy as a serious threat? I don’t think so. Kiffin is definitely a long shot to make the cut.

#6 Vanderbilt
I believe Vandy’s Bobby Johnson is a top-notch coach. Does that allow him the luxury to produce winning football teams on a consistent basis? Absolutely not! He coaches football at an SEC school that doesn’t have a “real” athletic department. Honestly, why is Vandy even allowed to claim membership in the league? I guess the money is worth their team’s being pounded into submission week after week.

So, there you have it. My picks on May 24th 2009 are in the bank. I guess the wire services will be snatching this up to distribute to the masses any time now. I’m also sure that you’ll find it hard to argue with my choices. I guarantee you one thing – they’re from a source more informed than the clueless sports information directors who turned in their ballots.
—Shane writes a weekly column for the Call News and the Capstone Report.

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122 Comments

Add Yours
  1. 1
    Oskie

    Nice work on ranking UK above UT. And while we’re at it, can you hook me up with your dealer? That must be some gooooooooooood stuff.

  2. 2
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Good overall list. No problem with Auburn at 5 in the west. Its realistic. Ole Miss over LSU ? Ole Miss lost a lot. Plus Nutt has a way of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Who will win the sugar bowl ? Most likely it will be a repeat of last year.

    And Shane, lets not pretend that the real journalistic world is waitng for your column ….That is a bit of a stretch isnt it ?

  3. 5
    E.G White

    Just an off the cuff prediction without any analysis.
    West: Alabama, LSWho, Ole Piss, The Barn, Ar Kansas, Imitation Dawgs.
    East: Swamp Lizards, Mutts, Imitation USC, UcheaT, Alley Cats, ‘Doormats.
    Take it to the bank! Well, maybe.

  4. 6
    bamasux

    Would I predict great success from a 5-7 team with questionable talent, and a top to bottom new coaching staff? NO.

    But, I believe the Auburn defense will be top three if not higher in the SEC, and several other top teams on the schedule (Alabama, Georgia, LSU) will have a down year.

    Makes for a toss up.

  5. 7
    capstonereport

    Until I know more about the UT offensive line and QB situation, I’d probably rank UK in front of UT too.

    I also tend to agree that what makes Ole Miss dangerous is its quality QB. I’m vacillating between LSU and Alabama to win the West.

    As for Auburn, I expect the defense to be worse than expected and the offense to be a little better than most SEC fans expect provided Auburn gets good line play and develops a real running game.

  6. 8
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Care to explain the reason for a down defense ?

    Had Auburns offense not completely and totally sucked last year, our defense would heve been in the top ten. I believe thay were top 25 total last year anyhow. If you believe the offense will improve, wouldnt that lighten the burden on the D ?
    Our D line will not suffer near as bad with Marks departure as some believe. And Coach Chizik is a defensive expert. Say what you will about him as a head coach, but you cant deny his defensive prowess.

  7. 9
    capstonereport

    I know AU should be healthier on defense which should help. I’m just not sure about the linebackers or the defensive line.

  8. 10
    OMNIPRESENT

    I am just not SOLD on uat?
    DOnt think they are gonna do a repeat
    and with LSwho and OH MISS in the mix I kinda think you can SWAPP any of your top 3. But thats why we play the game right?

  9. 11
    capstonereport

    If I were approaching the SEC West teams as stocks, (I’ll probably end up using this as a column…) I’d say this:

    Buy Arkansas (good upside)

    Buy Mississippi State (can’t go lower can they?)

    Alabama HOLD (looks like Alabama is back)

    LSU HOLD or SELL (Can Les Miles prove 2008 was a fluke? Or was it the wave of the future?)

    Auburn HOLD (Chizik can’t do worse than last season. Can he?)

    Ole Miss SELL (The Rebels will be good, but likely won’t be as good as everyone says. Since everyone has jumped on the bandwagon, now would be the time to jump off.)

  10. 13
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Omni……..Bynes was light years ahead of any linebacker we had. His first year to boot. Craig Stephens returns as well. they are solid. ot as good as Bamas corp but solid. Our d line is returning A. Coleman. Hes as good as anyone in the conference. Goggans will have abreakout year on the other side. They are solid. SenDerrick was injured a LOT last year. He as great, but he is replacable. Auburn has ALWAYS had a great D line. but I see why you would say that. They underachieved some last year. Eltoro will be a starter as well at L-backer…Everyone is saying to believer the hype on this dude. Tray Blackman was a beast but couldnt ever live up to the hype. Almost gald he is gone. Josh Bynes ran circles around him anyhow.

    I almost agree cap. Ole Miss/ Nutt cant repeat last year with the players they lost, I dont care how good Jevan Snead is.

    LSU just has too much talent to not have em up there. They are friggin loaded.

  11. 15
    capstonereport

    The big thing for me about Auburn will be the team’s ability to establish the run.

    If they can actually run the ball, they might surprise some people. If they can’t run the ball, it is going to be a long season.

    I guess you could say that about any team though. It will be true for Alabama too. Particularly, with the new offensive line.

  12. 16
    bamasux

    Defense,defense,defense. The Auburn defense kept us in nearly every game last year, to the end. That defense should be just as strong this year. With ANY semblance of an offense this year, the outlook does not look that bad.

  13. 17
    Carl

    I hear you bamsux! That cow D really kept them in all their games last year, especially that 36-0 thriller at the Mecca. You can’t even realize a beat down when it hits you upside the head. GET REAL!! The cows suxed last year and will sux more this time around. You really need to get a life or at the least another team.

  14. 19
    jaydeer

    Keen eye, Erik.
    I’ve noticed that a lot of bloggers spell Snead’s first name with an “o”. You can find him on Google – as Jevan or Jevon (though you’re correct, it should be “Jevan”). Whatever, the guy is an outstanding QB. CBSSports.com’s Pete Prisco projects Snead to be the no. 1 pick in the 2010 NFL draft. You know it’s interesting that Snead committed to FL while in high school, changed his mind and went to Texas to be closer to home. (Tebow chose FL later.) Jevan and Colt McCoy fought for the starting position. McCoy won and Snead transferred to Ole Miss and sat out a year. Another “tidbit” is that McCoy, Snead, Matthew Stafford, Chase Daniel and Greg McElroy were all Texas high school stars.
    Here’s hoping that the “star”, McElroy, will “shine” this Fall!

  15. 20
    BamaHate

    I am not surprised that the biased column of Shane, ex-Western Star reporter would put AL as #1 ahead of Ole Miss. However, Bama had better prove they have an offensive line and more importantly a QB. I think you are being very pretentious as most AL fans are.

    Alabama is #2 in the SEC West. Either LSU or Ole Miss is #1, not Alabama. As far as predictions go on paper, get real Shane.

    Get ready for a non-SEC championship year for the Redneck nation. Will you be ready to fire Nick Saban by then?

    BLOW TIDE!

  16. 21
    Bamaman

    BamaHate, is that why you hate us because you know we will be a contender for the SEC title year in and year out with Saban? I noticed the barn has fallen so far down the line by your own admission that they are competing for 4th in the west, what a joke, keep praying for Saban to leave and we will see you in November for your embarassing ass kicking number 2 bwahahahahahahahaha

  17. 22
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    You Bammer turds dill me. Yes, Saban is a good coach. But a great recruiter. Tommy T. Beat the brakes off him as a game day coach. If the dude could learn how to , or hire someone who knows how to run an offense, he would be the coach you guys already think you have.

  18. 23
    jimbo

    Yeah ol’ TT really coaches the socks off of Saban!!! What was the score again?

    Oh, that’s right, 30-0.

  19. 25
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    jimbo……….Tubbs still has beaten him more than not. How do you explain that ?….

    And the score was 36-0 ….You cant even get smack talking right. Somebody please straighten your boy jimbo out bofore I have to hurt him.

  20. 28
    OMNIPRESENT

    BI, I am not sure about AUburn,which is the same reason I wrote what I did about his “top 3”. I do think that if our Offense works itself out we will do fine
    but as last year proved Defense isnt gonna cut it 🙂

  21. 29
    jimbo

    You two g-smoochers are a piece of work. You are so engrossed in your punk pity party that your brains have frozen up. Of course I know what the IB score was, I just wanted you to type it in HAHAHAHAHAHAH. By the way, how did it feel punching in 36-0, you doofs. And after all that ‘out-coaching’, what is ole TT doing now. That’s right, he is waiting for the Texas AM job to come open. Don’t worry, when he gets the job Auburn will just have another team that they are too chicken to play. I still can’t believe you guys are so down on your program that you would tuck tail and run from a scrub team like UCLA. Actually I am not surprised, how much did you pay to get out of a FSU tail kicking again? Orange and Blue nothing, Looks like yellow to me. Now bye……

  22. 30
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Did you guys hear something ? All I keep hearing is a green turd fly buzzing around……..Its not really significant enouh to be annoying.
    Anyhow. Omni , I agree dude. Gotta be able to score points. If not , repeat of last year. I doubt that happens though. Our Offense was a giant clusterhump last year. too many chiefs not enough Indians. With the real chief not paying any attention to the reservation. There is no way we repeat last year. I believe that we will be looking at a worst case 7-5 year. Realistic year 8-4. Optimistic year. 9-3….A bad year for Bama will be 8-4. realistic year 9-3 . Optimistic year 10-2. JMO.

  23. 31
    BamaBrando

    Ballplay, that sound you hear is Bamasux. And I agree with you, Auburn is probably 7-5 or 8-4 next year. Bama 9-3 possibly 10-2. I can’t believe that I am agreeing with you on anything.

  24. 32
    OMNIPRESENT

    Yea thats why I said lets PLAY BALL!
    and jimbo…… STFU and you may save your self a life of people looking at you like they have GAS and you know you didnt mis-type or @least we do!

  25. 33
    OMNIPRESENT

    OH and jimbo I started to let this go becuase i have smacked fux like you in the mouth for the same but below is why IF you ever come before me I will SLAP the SHIT that festers between your teeth
    BOY! key word=MOWA you DONT know shit about indians nor their heritage fuk boy!

    jimbo Says:
    May 19th, 2009 at 6:42 am
    Well, Well! Barnie Fife and all his little animals got out of the ole doublewide long enough to scout around the national armpit memorial aptly named Aubutt.They heard a call that said, ” cry O yea pusses, cry out for Aubie”, ” bring down this Siren of Shane for he calls us out by name.” And so, the pitiful country punks fell upon the Western Sizzlin’ and silenced the voice of the great heretic, only to see his genius rise again in the land of polluted rivers and MOWA pseudo-indians.

  26. 34
    bamasux

    Speaking of smacking the shit out of a bammer…..my challenge still stands. If anybody wants to meet me in person, just go to the next Iron Bowl, main gate, and yell “Bamasux!! Bamasux!!” at the top of your voice, and I’ll find you.
    I promise.

  27. 35
    jaydeer

    After listing a few major college QB’s from Texas high schools in my comments above, I decided to do some research. One article http://www.govolsxtra.com/news/2009/may/19/ut-should-try-texas-in-hunt-for-quarterback/ mentioned that “Eight of the top 10 passers from the NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision are from Texas.” Notably missing from the article was Greg McElroy. Of course this will be his first year as a starter in college. I suspect he will continue the trend. Another interesting article on the success of college QB’s from Texas high schools – http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/bowls07/columns/story?columnist=maisel_ivan&id=3169107 – mentions in part the reason being that more Texas high schools are going to the spread offense which gives the QB more attention. Something to think about…

  28. 36
    jimbo

    OH and jimbo I started to let this go becuase i have smacked fux like you in the mouth for the same but below is why IF you ever come before me I will SLAP the SHIT that festers between your teeth
    BOY! key word=MOWA you DONT know shit about indians nor their heritage fuk boy!

    Oh but I do fool! Because I am!! As far as any slapping, I don’t slap punk!!!! It’s just funny to me how bad little turds like you think they are.

  29. 37
    Bamaman

    Ballplay, if you really think there is a remote possibility of AL and Aub having the same record next year, please stay out of the garage huffing gas, it is killing your last few brain cells.

    Bamasux, I will be glad to meet you at the next IB, after we smack your sissy ass players down on the field, I will do the same to you at gate you spineless inbred homo.

  30. 39
    jimbo

    Sux will be too busy throwing his drunk a$$ up after the inevitable Bama beatdown to do anything but grab his official commemorative Pat Dye is a punk bobble-head in one hand and take out his sexual frustration on himself with his other hand.

  31. 40
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Bamaman…….Good grief dude. Read my post again. I plainly said that yall would have a better record than us. All things being equal. But yes. There is a remote chance. What happens to you guys if McElroy blows out a knee ? Does Star “the answer” Jackson lead you guys to a national championship ? No. You would be looking down the barrel of a 6 and 6 or 7 and 5 type year. Bamas D will carry em through a lot of games that otherwise you would lose this year. All Im saying is dont expect to run it down peoples throat this year. All you guys that stabbed Andre in the back will be begging for him to come back. Not to mention the best O lineman on the team is gone now. And its not Smith. Caldwell was the best player on your line last year. He will be sorely missed. Yall will have a talented line. But not the Veterans you had. Still a 10-2 season isnt impossible . I believe that is is impossible for Auburn.

  32. 41
    LARRY C

    SHANE YOU REALLY DONT HAVE A CLUE DO YOU? MY PICKS 1.LSU 1.FLA
    2.SOUTH C
    2.AUBURN 3.VOLS
    4.KY
    3.ARKANSAS 5.GA
    4.OLE MISS 6.VANDY
    5.UA@T
    6.MISS ST

  33. 43
    BamaBrando

    Larry, now that is pretty funny right there. You talk about Shane not having a clue, then you go and make some crazy-ass predictions. You obviously don’t watch a lot of football do ya?

    And Bamasux, I wouldn’t have to yell for you. I could probably find you by your smell, you ignorant pig f***er. You won’t be smacking around anyone, you just like to talk big and bad on the internet. You are a sad little man. Sorry, I meant BOY.

  34. 44
    bamasux

    An ignorant pig f***er….now that’s original. Stupid, but original.
    As for the slapping around, it’s mainly a joke. I probably wouldn’t take the time out of my valuable day to slap anybody around. Those days are past. Why don’t you get a sense of humor.
    AUBURN’S BACK!! WAR EAGLE!!

  35. 45
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Brandy, you dont have to delete words in the term pig farmer. Its a term used for someone that farms pigs.

  36. 46
    BamaBrando

    So Ballplay is a pig f**ker too? It all makes sense to me now. You guys should get out of the house more often, so you wouldn’t have to “farm” those pigs.

  37. 47
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Ohhhhh………I get it now.

    Your a pediphile Brando.

  38. 48
    E. G. White

    Bamasux, if you want your ass kicked I´ll damn sure oblige you. But there are two problems to your proposal. 1. Not in a million of your pathetic lifetimes would I ever yell Bamasux in public, least of all at the Ironbowl. Now if you’ll answer to Auburnsux then maybe we can work something out. 2. I never drive my RV to games. But I would have to if I were going to yell Bamasux at the main gate of JHS, because immediately I would need the use of the beds. Why because by yelling Bamasux in JHS I would be smothered by dozens of those little Auburn groupie sluts you pass off as co-eds at the Barn!

  39. 49
    BAMA HATER

    So wait, is Bammer going to lose Schollys for Bookgate? What is the big deal with trading Books for Cocaine from Jimmy Johns. Nothing suprising there, Bunch of coke addicts in Tuscaloosa.

  40. 50
    bamasux

    Egg white….counterpoints to your proposal….1)Yelling “Bamasux!!” at the top of your voice at the IB is a joke. It’s just funny imagining that some crimson neck might try it, which wouldn’t surprise me. 2) It doesn’t surprise me that you are not accustomed to taking an RV to away games. Until last year, there was usually nothing to celebrate after the game, requiring setting up camp and painting the town crimson and white. As for the coeds, ours runs circles around the coke snorting, slut of the football team bammer variety.

  41. 51
    Bamaman

    Ballplay, if Grandma had balls she would be Grandpa. Since you are using “if” so much about McElroy and our season what IF Tebow blows out a knee? Will they still win it all like you said? Our d will be one of the top five in the nation and our running game will be better than Florida’s in the event of knee blowout. So your saying realistically we will be 9-3 and Aub optimistically will be 9-3? I am saying realistically Aub will be more like 3-9 and watching everybody else play in bowl games again next year. But you can go ahead and start your countdown of everybody we play to beat us and we can laugh at you everytime.

  42. 53
    Bamaman

    Ballplay, one other thing about QB’s, which one of your high caliber QB’s will be the “answer”? It really don’t matter, one is as pitiful as the next

  43. 55
    jimbo

    Omni, Don’t have to know you, quite frankly don’t care dipsh*t. Now go play in the street weaver!!!!!

  44. 58
    The BAMMER From St. Clair

    YO, PEOPLE! This is BY FAR one of the FUNNIEST SITES ON THE NET! With that being said, I’ll “weigh in” on the prognostications. ‘Bama or LSU should win the West, but Ole Miss IS a legitimate dark horse. Of course I’m gonna pick Alabama, mainly because of our defense. Florida should be the “Beast of the East,” but NEVER UNDERESTIMATE Georgia. South Carolina will give some teams FITS in the upcoming season and will probably upset someone along the way. As for Auburn and Tennessee, AU is looking at 7-5 and a bowl berth. Tennessee could finish 7-5 but most likely 6-6. That loudmouth of a head coach has 2 TARGETS PAINTED on him, one on his forehead & one on his arse. Sometimes the old “school of hard-knocks” is the ONLY WAY for some people! Later!

  45. 59
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Bamaman…..Yes, Florida could still win it withour Tebow. Not near as likely though. Since you like to analyze stuff, analuze this. McElroy hasnt started ONE SEC game yet. He will crap himself when he does. I said that if we overachieve and yall severely underachieve that we could have a better record. I dont change that statement. f we underachieve and you guys overachieve like last year, your record will be much better.

  46. 60
    Carl

    Hey Sux Boy,
    I think you’re right. Barn is back, right back on the bottom, where they have spent most of their trailer living lives. Like I told you earlier you really need to get a life or at least learn about something before you cum at the mouth. You have NO CLUE.

  47. 61
    OMNIPRESENT

    None Rookie you got me WRONG! But I will still take offense to your obviuos ignorance. SO go ahead and try but from where you speak I am not.Now if you want? Just Ask! PU*S*

  48. 65
    OMNIPRESENT

    What I said you POSING HOOKER WITH A PENIS is I am not from Washington COunty
    But I love 2 people dearly from there that are NOT psudio INDIANS they ARE Indians and If I were to ever get within earshot of you disrespecting them or their kind I would Do what I told you before…. You know the SHIT festering in your teeth thing. and CARL did anyone ever tell you to watch where you walk?

  49. 66
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Jimblows…..If you want to start crap and stir the pot, go on the Paul Finebaum show. Otherwise zip it. The only people who pretend to be internet Chuck Norris’ are the equivalent to Nepolean Dynomites brother.

  50. 67
    CrimsonBlood81

    Hey OMNI — I got to admit that “POSING HOOKER WITH A PENIS” is a new one for me — never heard that one — I give you mad props on that one — LMFAO.

  51. 68
    OMNIPRESENT

    😉 thanks dude I LMAO too when I wrote it.
    Im no Bully I just dont like racism of any kind “espiecially when its in my family” And I do TRY to be funny with it also….

  52. 70
    jimbo

    Now that the whole gaggle of guys or should I say ‘Gays’ have piped in, let me set you punk fags straight. But if you need to go your circle jerk first, I will give you some time because you sure seem to like posting references about male genitalia.

    Ok do you feel better now queers!!!

    I do not live in Washington County either, and my ancestors were not from India. In fact, they were not even Native Americans. They were, however, travelers who just kind of made their way to this continent about 10 or 15 thousand years ago. I am well aware of the outrageous and hideously in-human acts of torture, degradation, and genocide carried out by the pompous, intolerant, and yes EVIL Euros and their descendants against my forefathers. So shut your damn trap about the racism thing, a-hole. As far as our friends in MObile and WAshington counties, my reference to them had to do not with their heritage but rather with their politics. Ours and many other tribal councils do not consider the MOWA petition to be valid. Perhaps I went a little too far with the ‘Pseudo-Indian’ reference and for that I apologize. However, we who are described as ‘Native Americans’ or ‘Indians’ should be careful not to lose our heritage or water it down in the name of Bingo and Casinos. Corruption is what I am opposed to, corruption of our tribal officials and corruption of our heritage. You don’t really know the whole story, Omni, so like I said ‘Stay out of my business and shut your punk a$$ g-smooching mouth. You and all your fool puss buddies, go and play with each other because you seem to be having a good time with it. Jerk!!!!!!!!!!!

  53. 71
    bamasux

    Hey Carl….considering Auburn leads head to head against every team in the SEC, except 2 (and those by just a few games), what “right back at the bottom” are you talking about? You must have been thinking where you would like egg white to put it, while you were typing.

  54. 74
    jimbo

    Oh and yea, 36-0 is just a start. Auburn had better get good quick, they have no hope at QB and the clock is ticking. Tick Tock Tick Tock……………..

  55. 75
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    jimblo…….What the crap was that all about ? A homo laden Indian gambling rant? For the love. Ive seen some disfunction, but I believe you rank right up there with tmc1 and egghead. Enjoy your status as chief psycho.

  56. 78
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    jimblo…..Wise of you to bow down to the Indian there sonny boy. This war machine has meaner chunks of corn his stool than you. Dont fret, Ill let you live.

    Do you really want to talk football ? If so, answer this. Will Bammer win a nashnul champyeunship yhis year ? You seem to be a typical bammer so I assume that you will say yes. If so, why ?

  57. 79
    jimbo

    HAHAHAHAHA………….

    Just can’t quite get there can you?

    Just gotta throw in that sarcastic jab!!!

    As far as Alabama winning the National Championship this year, wellllllllllllll, I don’t know. Maybe, Maybe not!!!!

  58. 80
    jimbo

    Oh and by the way, You are wise to back down O’ Indian who ‘Plays with Balls”; Will the Barn win a nashnul champyeunship yhis year ?

  59. 81
    Bamaman

    Ballplay, so McElroy will crap his pants when he starts against Va Tech but a QB at Florida that I bet you don’t even know his name could win the NC without Tebow. Do you realize what a homer you sound like? Seriously dude, you are talking out of both sides of your mouth, take off the orange and blue glasses and we’ll see if McElroy needs any toilet paper after the Va Tech game, he can always get some from Lee County where they will have plenty that is not being used at Toomers. . . . .

  60. 82
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    bamaman….I know its HIGHLY unlikely that would happen. but it could happen. Remember a all world quarterback fot UT that never won th BCS ? Peyton was light years ahead of the quarterback that won it all the very next year. Then we never heard of that dude again. His name was Tee Martin. Tennessee could have won the BCS titlewith me at quarterback that year. They were loaded much the same way UF is this year. On both sides of the ball.
    Now , do I really think Florida will win it all without Tebow. No. But its not impossible.
    Another example…Alabamas Jay Barker. Not a great quarterback. Just good. Won it all with your defense. I watched you guys nearly lose to La. Tech that year at Legion Field. Your offense could do nothing, Only a punt return for a TD by duece saved your butts.

  61. 84
    OMNIPRESENT

    jimbo I dont have to shut up, You dont have a clue as to what I know about. Let me tell you a paragraph (story) inside Racism! Its like verbal genocide Indians degrading Indians becuase there not from the same tribe, or dark skin blacks dont like light skin blacks.Thats one thing I know about Indians. SO you hold a bone and lay the fuk off of me. You cant debate Indians with me I had to teach it FAG!

  62. 85
    Carl

    Hey Omni,
    Did you say I better fear where I walk? Now what brought that on? I fear no one, especially those that hide behind a computer screen and write about something they have no clue about, like you and sux boy. To even mention Abarn in the same sentence with the team that calls the Mecca of college football home, is like reading a new hulk finn essay. If Bama and Saban stay together they are about to create something that you and sux boy probably don’t even have the ability to dream about. But hang in there boys, this century is only 8.5 years old, you have 50 more years to match what your sux team did last century.

  63. 87
    jimbo

    Carl,
    We may have to cut these baby Aubs some slack. You have to remember that they are trying to be Auburn fans. They just need an education. I remember once when I was a kid, Auburn blocked a couple of punts and won an Iron Bowl. It was their first one in, who knows, about 15 or twenty years. Well the following week the Aubie faithful crawled out from under their rocks with new jerseys, car decals and vulgar bumper-stickers, the kind of thing you would expect from their level of society. Anyway some chump shows up at our daily neighborhood football game wearing his brand new orange and blue; I think it had Pat Sullivan or Beasleys number on it. we all said “Hey man, you might want to put on another shirt this is tackle football.” This punk a$$, I think his name was Norman, just said “screw you, I will wear what I want to and you better not mess with it.” Of course on the first play from scrimmage, as this fool tried to run by me, I grabbed him by the collar and ripped the entire shirt in half. This punk decided to go to fists, and after he ate a few decided to run home like the punk he was. This is what we as Alabama fans are dealing with on this discussion board. I just got through smacking the crap out of this punk ‘Omni’ and his boys and they act just like little Normans. Sooner or later they will head back to the Barn with their tails tucked neatly between their legs looking for their favorite pig or whatever is the animal de jour.

  64. 88
    Carl

    Jimbo,
    Yeah I know what you mean. Sounds almost as if we grew up in the same neighborhood, I remember almost exactly the same thing happening when I was a kid. To their credit they (Dyes Boys) finally got the enroachment folks to put Bama on probation and they enjoyed a few years of domination, but never in the history of the series, when being played on an even field, have they been able to compete with Bama. I for the life of me can’t understand how, if given the choice, you would be a fan of an inferior program in the same state where the Mecca is located. Now they have loaded up with cheese, and the only question I really have, is who will sux the most in the next few years, the sux kitty cats, or the sux vols. The one thing I do know is neither of them will be able to stay on the field with Bama or most of the other teams in the SEC. I wonder, for their on mental health if they are prepared for a 2-5 start, after the MSU Dogs kick their red headed a===s in what ever they are calling their cow pasture this year. I-man. H-man, Bobby-man, Bozaro, and reel town will have plenty of excuses I’m sure.

  65. 89
    uburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Carl…You and jimblo care to tell how old ya are ? If your my age or younger (38), you see that Auburn leads the series since we were old enough to give a crap about football , say age 6 or 7. So much for your dominant ways. That is just a myth. No one outside a retirement home really remembers Bama dominating squat. You dont see Harvard fans beating there chest about there 25 national championships do you ? But then again Harvard fans have IQs above 60.

  66. 90
    Carl

    Oh how wrong you are play with your balls ingin. Just because you were filling your diapers with yellow doesn’t mean real men were hunting somewhere to hide. You say 38 and anyone older is ready for the retirement home once again shows how hollow you are when it comes to football knowledge. By my calculation you must have been more maybe ’70 or ’71. Well on your date of birth I would have been 16-17, and still plenty young enough now to enter into a dialogue with a self proclaimed idiot such as yourself. While you were going from zero to 6=7 I had witnessed at least 5 or 6 N.C. which you still don’t have a clue about. That was part of my point earlier, when the cow college had it’s chance, that is the last 10=12 years, they didn’t take it. Hate to tell you, buuutttt, times up. Maybe in another 50 or so years they might have a chance. Of course I don’t guess you will care by then, you’ll probably be someone’s unpleasant memory by then. Go eat you some cheese and try to come up with something worth talking about, you and sux boy.

  67. 91
    jimbo

    Plays with his balls,
    How anyone who doesn’t know about the “Punt, Bama, Punt” game, would ever presume to comment on the Alabama vs. Auburn football rivalry is beyond me. Quite frankly, you have shown your ignorance and have no credibility. Now I see why your posts make you look like a dumb a$$, you simply don’t know any better.

  68. 92
    jimbo

    Hey Carl,
    Remember that play on 4th down in the Sugar Bowl when Marty Lyons told the Penn State Offense that they had better throw the ball?

    By the way in deference to you the ‘balls guy’, Alabama, holding a narrow lead in the final minutes of the 4th quarter,was playing for another National Championship against the Nittany Lions and had just stopped 3 plays inside their own five yard line.

  69. 94
    jimbo

    Isn’t it sad that Auburn, well, they don’t have any. Has anyone ever heard of one, I haven’t.

  70. 95
    bamasux

    Carly be careful…egg white will get jealous if you keep slobbing Dumbo’s knob. I would hate for a lovers triangle spat to break out on the message board.

  71. 96
    Carl

    Sux Boy,
    What would you know about a lovers triangle? Oh, I almost forgot you do like a pig and a cow at the same time don’t you. The more you talk it confuses me, I can’t decide if your a sux vol or a sux barner. I suppose the fact you like animal sex, I would have to take that as a cheeser.

    Yeah Jimbo I remember that night real well along with the ’92 game, along with the beat down of Florida twice in the same year, along with the blocked field goal at Penn. St., along with the run in the mud, along with Musso’s game with the broke toe, along with Tiffin’s kick in the I.B., along with, the man leaning against the goal post, along with sweet home alabama, along with THIS IS ALABAMA FOOTBALL, along with etc. etc, etc………………………………

  72. 97
    Carl

    AIN’T NOTHING LIKE BEING AT THE MECCA ON GAME DAY. Can’t imagine what it will be like after the new addition. It truly will be the MECCA of College Football. None like it no where. Wonder what the university of auburn will call their place then. The jungle at the pasture just don’t ring real clear. Guess they can always now call it the home of the hummers. No pun intended.

  73. 98
    uburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    I can see why you are a Tide fan Carl. See dude , I give respect where its due. If your that old to witness it all then Ill give you props. Jimblo on the other hand, for all I know you saw it on youtube or something.
    I just get sick of this new generation of Bama fans that havent seen any of the tradition that yall have, yet act like they witneesed Joe Namath make a game winning drve.

  74. 99
    Carl

    Thanks Ball Play. I’m 54 years old and have been attending Bama games since I was about 6 years old. I like to say that I grew up in the shadows of Bryant/Denny, when in fact I grew up about 5 miles away. I think I can probably say I have been to at least as many games as most anyone alive today, having not missed a home game since ’65. Many fond memories with my Dad at that place and now both my children can and do say the same thing. My wife, of 35 years, dad had the concessions for all events on campus for 30+ years, so not only have I witnessed many football games, but also basketball, baseball, and anything else that took place on campus. A little known fact for you, in the back of the coliseum is a rather large kitchen, where on basketball game day, my wife, mother-in-law, and two other ladies would prepare the hot dogs for that nights game. This was at the time when Bryant’s office was located inside the coliseum. It is amazing to me, in a building that large how the smells would drift around the building. Most of the time if Bryant was there, he would smell those hot dogs cooking and would come around there and want two, with just meat and bread. I stood there many many times and chatted with him as he enjoyed those fresh off the grill dogs. He was so much more than people realize. He had a genuine concern for all and expressed it in many ways that few people even know about.

    I have many stories I share with friends about things I saw and have been a part of through out my life surrounding U of A sports, some good, some not so good, but all in all it has been a wonderful experience.

    What annoys me the most is people who have no clue about what it takes to run a program like Alabama or Auburn, yet to hear them talk, they know all about every team in the SEC, when in reality they don’t even know enough about their on school to really voice an opinion. This is true of fans of all schools, but especially Alabama and Auburn fans. Guys like Charles, I-man, Jim, and all the other so-call dye hards. I can promise you I have personally witnessed more than all them combined. I don’t write on these blogs much, but at times I like to weigh in.

    Truly speaking I wish any SEC team the best at all times and Auburn the best when not playing Bama, because the fact is, things are best for both schools when both are at the top of their game.

    I could go on and on, but I wont, because no matter what you say a lot of folks will never understand.

  75. 100
    OMNIPRESENT

    WOW I will tell ya this Cap… Your board will make ANY man tell his life story. I.E. tmc1,BB,BM and now …CARL
    But its cool im not hatin on it musta been a great life. Judging from jimbo and carls post up there I hope they use CONDOMS!!

  76. 102
    jimbo

    Carl I was wondering which scumbag would crawl out from under a pile of cow $hit and try to stomp on that great posting of yours. And guess what, It is that same little fag that we summarily punched in the face the other day.

    Omni, Keep your sick punk comments in the gutter with your insignificant dumb a$$. Like I said, “Juuuust Shuuut Uppppp!!!”

    And for you, Pocket Pool, No I didn’t see Joe Willy in a touchdown drive for BAMA. I do however remember watching him defeat the Colts, Baltimore and not Indy for your dumb a$$ information, in Super Bowl III. I have been around long enough to witness quite a few of the Tide’s classic and beautiful dominating football performances.

    As far as the rubbers you like to talk about Sir Sux Alot, Wow come to think of it you really like to talk about rubbers don’t you. You must know alot about rubbers and I would bet you know alot about butts as well. Yeah I think you know alot about booties don’t you boy.

  77. 103
    bamasux

    Jimbo…..am I supposed to be Sir Sux Alot?? or just bamasux alot? I didn’t stomp on Carl’s post….he loves his team, I love mine. I can respect THAT.

    Now F off.

  78. 105
    jimbo

    It’s funny that two weeks ago when I looked in on this blog, Sux and Pocket pool were bullying everyone around acting smug and ignorant. They have now been reduced to blithering chunks of pond scum, kind of like the 2008 Auburn offense, which was indeed offensive to the world of College Football.

  79. 106
    Carl

    Hey Guys,
    It doesn’t bother me for someone to challenge anything I say. But if you do, you had better done your homework. Truth is truth no matter how you try to spin something and the truth of the matter is the clock has ran out for Auburn. As I mentioned above they had their chance, but due to the lack of national respect they couldn’t even get it done with a perfectrecord. That ain’t gonna happen for a long time to come now. Keep eating your cheese and drinking your home grown milk while Bama wins 3 to 5 more N.C. in the next 10 years.

    Thats always been the trouble with the cow college, they are always too worried about what is happening on the West side on the state to take care of their own. Until they clean house starting with Louder and Die and the rest of the wanna bees, they will be stuck for many more years. Wallow in your ignorance, great things are in store at the “MECCA”.

    Can’t you hear that clock running? Probably not, yours has stopped!

  80. 107
    Carl

    Shane, it’s time for a new column, I think this one has bout run it’s course. Keep up the good work, cause in the end we all bleed crimson.

  81. 108
    jimbo

    Ding…Ding…Ding…Ding….

    And there’s the bell signifying the end to the round…….and what a vicious round it was….pocket pool and suxs alot are out on their feet….let’s hope their corner can bring them around….otherwise this contest is over!!!!!!!…………..

  82. 109
    bamasux

    Carl takes a trip down memory lane while you play “remember when…..” like a small child desperate for attention. There’s a club for folks like you. It’s called NAMBLA!

  83. 110
    jimbo

    Sir Sux Everyone,

    There you go again, talking about your sickness you Butt Ranger, A$$ Pirate, ……Ding….Ding…Ding…..Ding…
    That’s it Sir Faggot Boy, el sux alot is down on his buddy ‘pocket pool’…….Damn Porn Boy every comment you make references nasty deviant behavior… Did the Guys in Prison really ream you out that bad? Or did you just enjoy it too much?…….

  84. 111
    Bamaman

    Ballplay, back to my point you are making that it can happen for everybody but McElroy, you know it sounds very homer. We will have to talk about this one after the opener. . . . all we can do is speculate that he won’t crap his pants and that Aub can figure out who will be their qb, Kodi terrible or Neil horrible.

  85. 112
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    Read again. If Barker did it at Bama. So could McElroy. I said it was possible. You just want me to say negative things because you want to argue with me……….Wich is good. Just not correct in this case.

  86. 113
    OMNIPRESENT

    WOW A Psuedio Knockout. Kinda like all of those PSUEDIO Titles.
    You know the Recruiting ones the 3 place national championship ones, the ones you claim when you dont get to go and loose to Utah. You know those!

  87. 114
    OMNIPRESENT

    And hell your the one been makeing the Ambigious comments about ASSES around here. I ll bet your the kinda guy that will bring OL CARL back a BJ huh?

  88. 117
    Carl

    omni,

    One thing about it though ol wise one, if Bama has only two that’s twice as many as the university of auburn will ever have, huh?

  89. 119
    Carl

    Omni,
    How true you are. Many formulas have been used through the years to determine the mythical N.C. If Bama don’t have the right to claim what was duly awarded before the BCS as we know it now, neither does anyone else. The BCS has been called various things since about ’92. Bowl alliance, Bowl championship etc. The BCS as we know it today started with the ’98 season. If the winners of those games are the only REAL N.C. that has ever existed, then only 7 teams have the right to claim the title, LSU and FLorida both having won two during that period. However it wasn’t titled the N.C. game until ’07 thereby making LSU and Florida the only true National Champions in your point of view in the history of College Football. Sounds a little absurd doesn’t it. The fact of the matter is everyone in College Football has always accepted the crowned winner of which Bama owns at least 12. Auburn……………….1…………….HUH.
    In fairness to your argument however I’ll subtract one if you will. Bama-11……Auburn-0.
    You see in fairness to all teams it can’t be that way, but that’s the way you Johnny come lately folks would have it. In your way of thinking because things have changed you don’t consider the past. So I guess we didn’t win WWII, WWI, Korea, or any other thing that happened in the past because it’s the past, and applying your logic the past don’t exist.
    To keep from turning this into a book I’ll stop here, but once again, fact is fact, something you and most other cow college folks just can’t come to terms with. Face the fact, AU will never be UA’s equal on the field and that’s simply all there is to it. Now get you some cheese and relax. HUH!

  90. 120
    OMNIPRESENT

    I never DISPUTED any of yours or anyone elses NC becuase I Beleive as long as competition is there, there ought to be a CLEAR and CONCISE CHAMPION…. And I do know AU was never lucky enough to be
    in that mix…..Now You go eat some Mustard and Biscuits and quit stalking me
    HUH!?!

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