Shane’s new gig and new column

Note: Shane sent his weekly column in this morning and informed me that it will be published in the Call News in Citronelle.
New Direction – Same Shane
By Shane from Centerpoint

Those who’ve read my stuff on the Capstone Report will have to forgive me for the first paragraph or two in this week’s column. Those who are about to meet me should relax. I’m harmless. Sit back and give my opinions a chance. Don’t believe those bad things you’ve heard about me on the Finebaum Radio Network. Besides, I’m striking out on a new path. From this point forward I will make a serious effort to widen the scope of my commentary and focus on being more objective with my written opinion. In other words, I’ll only write about Crimson Tide football three out of the four weeks in a month. Just kidding!

Listen, I realize that we’re all full of great ideas and most of us have sound opinions on just about every topic under the sun. In fact, the majority of those people who respond to my articles sometime send me better material than I originally write. I also make sure I read every response. The fact that you took your valuable time to write back to me serves as a form of validation for the main reason I write – to exact a reaction and emotional response from the reader.

Now that the introduction deal is out of the way, I’ll go ahead and do some opining. I’ll see if I can hit on a few controversial topics and show you why they call me a straight shooter. Actually, you might find yourself agreeing with me before I’m through. Or, you might end up sending me a 900-word masterpiece on how I should see it your way.

I’ll start with the Auburn “Tiger Prowl”. Personally, I think that using limos as “flash-n-dash” to generate interest in a college football program is insulting to all people who are struggling to make it during these very difficult times. I also think it is a wasted gimmick, especially when Auburn is trying to close the gap with a master recruiter like Nick Saban.

Wait a minute! Not so fast my friend! I stand corrected. I think my opinion must be way off on this one. Experts like Paul Finebaum, Tim Brando, I-man, and Charles from Reeltown are declaring the Auburn “Hummer/Limo” event to be a huge success. Charles and I-man are immediately hailing the move as Saban-like, while Finebaum – who started the week laughing out loud at Coach Chizik – has now swapped tongues and decided to announce that the perception war has been won by Auburn. He and Brando are in total agreement, with the opinion that Saban has been “one-upped” by Gene Chizik.

Realistically, I do firmly believe that some modern young people are shallow enough to be impressed by stretch limousines. Therefore, I agree that the idea of seven coaches showing up in front of a high school riding in a limo is innovative. I must also acknowledge that, good or bad, the stunt kept Auburn University as the top topic of conversation in the state for an entire week.

Another sports–related topic I would like to mention involves my position on a very controversial move by the University of Tennessee and head football coach Lane Kiffin. The university is going to allow a young man, who was convicted of participating in the crime of rape when he was thirteen, to be awarded a scholarship to play football for the Vols. Kiffin and others say the young man is rehabilitated and deserves a chance.

I believe that the star player crossed a point of no return when he committed one of the worst criminal acts I’ve ever heard about. Seriously, being convicted of crimes like rape and murder – really any major felony – should prohibit anyone from having the privilege to use a scholarship. There are far too many law-abiding young men with “class” who deserve a chance and have earned the right to be in that coveted position.

Take my word for it. Kiffin has made me laugh with some of the goofy things he’s said and done, but this decision is a bad one. One mistake by the kid – with all eyes watching – and Lane could have a disaster on his hands.

I wonder how the player’s teammates will handle him at practice. I wonder how the opponent’s players will handle him. I am very curious to see what the opposing crowd has to say to him. I can’t help but think that the kid is in for a long, difficult struggle. I hope he doesn’t crack under the pressure. If he does, could he be dangerous again?

Finally, I want to say that I’m looking forward to filling this space with (what I hope to be) some quality, well-balanced, opinion pieces. I trust that you’ll find my sports-related musings to be entertaining, if not funny. Who knows? Maybe there will even be times when you find my ideas to be very insightful. I’m sure that won’t be too often, but I’ll take what I can get.
—Shane writes a weekly column for the Call News and the Capstone Report.

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28 Comments

Add Yours
  1. 4
    IV:XX

    Same ‘ol, same ‘ol. Never about the Tide, always about Tennessee or the Tigers. Talk about AUbsession!

  2. 5
    DeLorenzo

    I’m an AU fan. So, I think we’re all entitled to our opinions on Chizik’s “Tiger Prowl.” Really the only opinions that count are that of Alabama state recruits. However, I completely agree with you on the rapist receiving a STATE scholarship. Rape is the most foul of crimes to commit; and although he may not have partaken in the actual rape, to assist in one is just as sick. I am truly insulted that Auburn University offered this idiot a scholarship. I’m a DIE-HARD Auburn fan, and that is the only thing from this staff I will admit as being absolutely stupid. I’ll actually congratulae UA for not offering this piece of ****. War Eagle!

  3. 8
    Auburn is a joke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian

    The dead horse asked asked me to ask you guys to pleeeeease quit beating him over the Tiger Prowl thing…..

    3 weeks after they did it , the bammers are still yammering about it. Looks like it worked to me.

    Again………please stop.

  4. 10
    finebammer

    the citronelle call news.

    how do you respond to that other than to say, like pluto, dream on………..bffft……pffbffft…….bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. 12
    AUTigers0711

    The only accurate part of this crap was the top that said “new direction – SAME SHANE”. One newspaper wisens up and realizes they’ve hired and idiot, and another one quickly picks up the slack. Small towns in Alabama…thank God I no longer live in that state!

  6. 13
    bamafan

    YOU said “I’ll only write about Crimson Tide football three out of the four weeks in a month. Just kidding! ” I wish you were NOT kidding… If you wrote 75% about the Tide that would be great… Instead you write about 75% on Auburn and you have never let a good story stand in the way of facts. So please, please, please, try to write about Alabama, those stories may be worth reading, instead you spend MOST of your time bashing everyone else, if you truly want to be objective, take off those Crimson Colored glasses at least once a day.. ..

  7. 14
    rickeyray

    even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then , thats how i feel about the tiger prowl

  8. 16
    BamaHate

    Shane,
    Good piece. I hope the best for you. You definitely stimulate opinions. I agree with you mostly except for the Tiger Prowl, if it had been done by Nick Saban, then it would have obviously been “genius” by a “master” recrutier. But whatever. Hope this works well for you.

    PS I dont think Chizik got you fired from the Western Shit Star comic paper, because I really think, he doesnt know who you are. Not a jab, just an observation.

  9. 17
    bamaandjrfan

    Write about bama 3 out of 4 weeks? That’s a good one! I guess I-man will talk about auburn football too, huh? Yet again…no meat!

  10. 18
    LARRY C

    RETARDED SHANE YOU ARE A INSULT TO EVERY ICEMAN OUT THERE DRIVING A TRUCK. YOU GET FIRED FROM ONE PATHETIC PAPER
    BECAUSE YOU ARE CAUGHT IN THE BATHROOM WITH SABANS/FINESCUMS PICTURE.YOUR WIFE DIVORCES YOU WHEN SHE CATCHES YOU IN THE BED WITH A MAN.YOUR PATHETIC LIFE HAS NOT BEEN GOOD AS OF LATE HUH RETARD?

  11. 19
    jaydeer

    Wow! Larry C, Why don’t you stop “holding any punches” and just spill it out? You sound like an very unhappy, angry fellow who’s had a bad day (or bad life) and decided to use Shane as a punching bag. I think anyone reading your comments will consider the source and hope that your anger subsides. Then, maybe it’s a “personal” vendetta against Shane. Whatever, can you spell “slander”?

  12. 20
    Dinky Saban

    They call you a straight shooter……No Shane, They call you an idiot. And they are correct.
    A straight shooter tells it like it is. An idiot like you tells it like you want it to be. Get back to humpin’ the ice wagon, loser

  13. 21
    Ty from T-Town

    WELCOME TO L.A.:

    Shane, its pretty clear to me that the hamlet of Bessemer rotted to the ground
    about two decades ago. The Western Star’s menu now resembles something from the Jefferson County Jail.
    I hope their readers enjoy rice for breakfast; because that’s all their ass is going to get.
    They don’t need all that free advertising. Langford, has a better plan. He is gonna turn a god damn sewage plant into an indoor golf coarse, just after he gets off the phone with the Olympic Committee. The water park may stink just a bit, but that’s just a sign of progress. I actually heard that Larry has plans to move the Bright Star Restaurant to Shelby County, in order to build a world class truck-stop.
    I also understand that Coach Chizik, has submitted an outstanding recipy for boiled eggs; and Bessemer won’t miss you at all.
    L.A. seems to be a better fit.
    Lessez Les Bon Temps Roulez.

  14. 22
    The BAMMER From St. Clair

    YO! Best wishes on your new gig, even though I think that Bammers like YOU make the rest of us look BAD! Also, I have to agree with you about the situation up in Knoxville. Although this guy was 13 when the incident occurred, you have to QUESTION the decision that UT Coach Lane Kiffin has made. MAKE NO MISTAKE; there was a need and coaches recruit TO THE TEAM’S NEEDS. Anytime a controversy like this arises, I am reminded of the old story about the pig. You can dress the pig up, bathe it, cover it with perfume and win 1st Prize at the County Fair, but when its all said and done, that pig will return to the “mud-hole” it was wallowing in. I SINCERELY HOPE that this young man has rehabilitated himself & goes on to live a decent & productive life, but if I was the head coach at a prestigious institution such as Tennessee, I would not have signed him. This is one instance that I have to applaud former UT Coach Phil Fulmer on; he chose not to recruit this young man.

  15. 23
    BamaBrando

    Hey Larry! Nice to see you are still alive, and that no one has knocked your head off yet. Where have you been? On some secret government mission? Or did your grandmother quit lettin you get on the internet for awhile?

  16. 25
    Beach Forecast

    ah, shane is back. lots of first person personal pronouns. that’s the real test it’s writen by shane. “look, it’s really all about me!”

  17. 26
    ShaneStomper

    Shane, maybe you can use some of those crack investigative reporter skills of yours and find out how bad the NCAA is going to hammer the Tyde! Get right on it…check with your “sources” (and I don’t mean Finebomb). Hurry, I can’t wait!

  18. 27
    bamasux

    The NCAA will set the nail this go around…..you know how you carefully tap the nail to get it started? THEN the hammer will come down hard a little later after repeat offender/lack of institutional control status has been established. Not even Obama will be able to close down the car dealerships fast enough!

  19. 28
    jimbo

    Well, Well! Barnie Fife and all his little animals got out of the ole doublewide long enough to scout around the national armpit memorial aptly named Aubutt.They heard a call that said, ” cry O yea pusses, cry out for Aubie”, ” bring down this Siren of Shane for he calls us out by name.” And so, the pitiful country punks fell upon the Western Sizzlin’ and silenced the voice of the great heretic, only to see his genius rise again in the land of polluted rivers and MOWA pseudo-indians. Now the poison pen of the great Shane will rain Aubert smack down upon the cow patties until the great rebel flag stealing councilman saves them from the hooded nightmare. Go Toros!!

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