Merry Chizikmas!

Merry Chizikmas!
by intheknow72

Some time ago I helped coin a new term on this website: Aubsessed. Simply put, a person who is Aubsessed is an Auburn fan who cannot stop talking about Alabama. As in, still talking about, comparing themselves to, and obsessing over the University of Alabama six games deep into a winning streak over us, when we couldn’t seem to get up from continually falling down. My argument was that if we ever found ourselves on the other side of such a streak over our cross-state, hapless rival who perpetually couldn’t get off the mat because of self-inflicted wounds and ridiculous decisions, conversation about Auburn would take place maybe two weeks a year…the week before and after the annual beat down.

Well, looks like I’m gonna get my shot at making good on that theory. Game one, 36-0. Games 2 through 6 are on the way. Auburn just hired Gene Chizik!

I’ll now try my hand at coining a new word. Or really, it’s a holiday. I’m up for suggestions for the best way to celebrate it, but here’s the name and the occasion:

Chizikmas: December 13th. The day Auburn gave Alabama the gift that keeps on giving. Merry Chizikmas!

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At the depths of our lows, one thing Tubberville seemed to do quite well was watch us, avoid our mistakes, and capitalize on the PR game in the media. While we wallowed in the muck and mire before coming to our senses, hiring a tyrant, dictator of a coach who kicks out boosters who think their money and influence can buy his time and favor, Tubby, like any politician, spun the party line that Auburn was a stable place for family, loyalty and character.

Someone forgot to tell Jay Jacobs about those traits. Despite logging 8 wins or better a year, Auburn just hired a coach who, as a head coach, has a record of 5-19. Stability? Hardly. He cleaned house at Iowa State after only two years, demoting guys that HE hired two years before.

Don’t look now, but Nick Saban just bought more property in Tuscaloosa; he’s settling in for a while. The knock on Alabama over a job like LSU was that we live in a state where two major programs compete every year for prospects. LSU, being the only major football power in Louisiana, has their pick of the litter every year. Well, looks like that’ll be the case for St. Nick in the foreseeable future as well, as Auburn voluntarily stepped backward into Division 1-AA football.

Auburn, you just just hired your version of Mike Dubose. Only, at least we hadn’t seen Dubose in action as the head man before hiring him. You looked beyond Chizik’s actual on-the-field resume and hired him anyway. Incredible, but thank you!

The argument will be made that Chizik was a stellar defensive coordinator. But here’s a news flash for Aubies looking, grasping…praying…for a silver lining to this horrific story. He wasn’t hired to be a coordinator. He was hired to be a head coach. You traded a head coach with a .680 winning percentage at Auburn for one with a .208 winning percentage. Nice work, and thank you.

Merry Chizikmas!

34 Comments

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  1. 1
    julio

    Come in, intheknow. Chizikmas? That’s the best you can do? You’ve got better game than that. This ridiculous hire is chock full of smack talk opportunities, and you spit out some stupid catch phrase that a 5th grader could have come up with? (In fact, go ahead and admit that’s who you stole it from.)

    As to your theory, we will see right here on this blog how wrong it is. 2 weeks a year? I guarantee you that in at least 45 of the next 52 weeks there will be at least one article posted on this blog that deals with Auburn, and every single article will be rife with responses from bammers (including yourself). It would be more, but there is bound to be slow times associated with holidays and other diversions. We’ll see how “irrelevant” Auburn is to you bammers.

  2. 3
    jjbamaman

    Hey, I came on here to talk about Alabama! Who cares what aubarn does? I heard they got a new coach. Good for them. Now how’s our recruiting going so far? What’s our O-line going to look like next year since Caldwell, Davis and Smith are leaving? Talk about something important…

  3. 4
    capstonereport

    I’m working on a recruiting update………it just that AU is like a car accident….can’t ….look…..away.

  4. 5
    julio

    Yeah cappy, that’ll be the endless excuse from you bammers over the next year when every other word out of your mouth is about Auburn…”it’s just like a car wreck, we can’t help but look at it.” Yeah, right. Tennesse and Miss State were train wrecks all season, too, but I didn’t see too many articles about them on this site.

  5. 6
    capstonereport

    I was writing about the UT hiring just before it happened, and right after it happened. Kiffin is a train wreck, but this mess is even bigger. And while the reaction to Kiffin was negative, it wasn’t anything like this.

    As for MSU, they are largely irrelevant in the SEC.

    What I expect will happen is the Auburn situation will lose its luster soon because things get boring with time.

    I expect the next fun to unfold at LSU. 🙂

  6. 7
    ALmba92

    Julio, unfortunately for you Aubs, you just happen to be our in state rival regardless of how insignificant you are becoming, and you make yourselves an easy target with one screw up after another and I am sure you can’t find anything about us bammers on an Aubbo website. PPPuuullllease.

  7. 8
    intheknow72

    Sorry Julio. It’s still true, and you complaining over our new holiday won’t change it.

    YOUR STUPID AD JUST HIRED GENE CHIZIK!

    BHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

    Merry Chizikmas everyone!

    And for our Jewish friends, Happy Chizikah!

  8. 9
    SportsInsiderGuy.com

    Unofficial souuces today announced that Phillip Fulmer will be holding a news conference any day now to announce his retirement from football permenantly.
    Fulmer reportedly said:
    “I just new that New Mexico State or Auburn would be my next stop. Well, maybe Iowa State. If not there then … I dont know…Maybe Buffalo….. “

  9. 10
    Mrs. Coach Ensminger

    I hate Auburn! They did us wrong!!!
    Auburn is a bag full of a##holes!
    If I wasnt such a f#cking lady I would tell all yall the real dirty truth about inbreeding on the BOT!

  10. 11
    BamaBrando

    Julio, you are right. Auburn is irrelevant now. This is all pure entertainment for me. I remember all you guys coming here beating your chest preseason this year. My how far the mighty Tigahs have fallen. How you all said Bama aint back until they beat Auburn. All the speculation on what we would do if Bama got beat by Auburn. Like I said, pure entertainment. I really want to thank all you guys for making this season even better for me. Just be sure to come back here every week to make an excuse for what is wrong with Auburn. What is the over-under on how long Chizik stays? I say if he loses to Bama the next two years, he will be gone. Can Chizik perform a Saban type miracle with that team? Remember all the hype you guys had when Tony Franklin was hired? Man, those were the last moments of the Golden Age of Auburn Football. They should make a movie about it.

  11. 12
    julio

    See Brando, you’ll see the difference between Auburn fans and bammers over the next year (and probably beyond, unfortunately). You will see no spin from us. We will tell you straight up that this was a lousy hire, unlike you delusional bammers who sat there and defended both the Dubose and Shula hires like they were the second coming of the Bear. We’ll tell you that our team sucks if they aren’t winning. There will be no endless supply of excuses. Unlike the bammers, we will actually acknowledge that Auburn and Auburn alone was responsible for hiring it’s head coach, and that it does not qualify as an excuse if the coach we chose ends up being a loser. That will actually be our fault; not the NCAA’s, or Phil Fulmer’s, or a toothless stripper named Destiny’s. Mark it down-Chizik may end up winning, only time will tell. But even if he does end up winning big, it will be dumb luck on the part of Jacobs. This was a bad hire based on what Jacons had in front of him. Period. Find me a freakin’ bammer who ever said all of that when Dumbose and Shula were hired.

  12. 13
    Freakin Bammer

    From day one I said Dubose and Shula being the Bama boys they are should have never been hired. . . . . . Julio, proven wrong once again!!!

  13. 14
    Pluto

    I will tell you Julio that I never supported Mike Shula and recognized what he was hired for – “The Interim”.
    That is the Deal with Cheeseit. He was hired to be fired once the Aubie Power Structure gets it shit right. Losing will focus the knuckleheads and Auburn will experience something novel. The Fans in the Street will grab their pitchforks and storm the “Bastille Barn” and run Bobby , Jimmy, Pat , and that suck ass AD out of town.
    POWER TO THE PEOPLE ! (sorry Che)

  14. 15
    BamaBrando

    Julio, hate to break your perception there bud, but I was never in favor of Shula or Dubose. I really liked Coach Fran. But I did continue to support Bama in those down years. But I thought Bama could get a better coach when Shula was there. And I was not the only one. But Bama and Auburn is no place to learn how to be a head coach. This period of time will show you who the real Auburn fans are, and the ones who were just on the bandwagon. All I am saying is there has been much trash talk and finger pointing at Bama from the Auburn side for a long time. Now, in the course of just 1 season, it has reversed. And it could be like this for awhile now.

  15. 16
    julio

    I hate it Pluto, but you may be right. The sad thing is that it didn’t have to be this way. Despite the meddling of influential boosters, Auburn has gotten it right since they hired Dye before the 81 season. Even the Bowden hire was pretty successful for 5 years, and those same boosters rightfully ran him out on a rail in short order when it fell apart.

  16. 17
    julio

    Brando and bammer, my statement was intended to describe the overwhelming bulk of the Bama fans and wrongfully sounded like it applied to each and every bammer without exception. Poor choice of words on my part. Perhaps each of you did voice your opposition to the hires of Shula and Dubose at the time they were hired, but we all know it’s really easy to sit here and say that you did years later whether it’s true or not. The fact is that Dubose got hired because bammers jammed up Bob Bockrath’s fax machine demanding that the idiot be hired solely because he was one of Bear’s boys, and the overwhelming majority of bammers praised the Shula hire and talked about he was a great OC in the NFL. Listen the Auburn fans now…they are saying across the board that this hire was wrong.

  17. 18
    intheknow72

    In order:

    Dubose – thought it was a good hire at the time; took less than half a season to see I was WRONG!

    Franchione – thought it was a good hire, FINALLY going outside the family…and it was. Had he stayed, he would have done much better than Shula.

    Price – please.

    Shula – No spin here, just that period in time (late spring of ’03, in the wake of sanctions and Price’s controversy), we were radioactive. No one wanted to come here, and we were still delusional in thinking we were doing someone a favor to let them coach here (for a meager salary). Croom and Shula were about even, though Croom would have been a good hire from a PR standpoint because of the race issue; would have erased a lot of negative perception, but don’t forget, Croom had NEVER been interviewed for a head coaching job before Mal sat down with him. In light of heavy sanctions and the chaos that came with it, we did him a favor not letting him have the keys at that time.

    Saban – obviously, a home run.

    Our wounds over the last ten years were self-inflicted, caused by idiotic decisions by the powers that be. That’s not spin, just fact. I will always contend that Auburn’s run had more to do with us than them. Despite our weakened state, every game was in question until the very end. They were at full power, we were crippled. No 36-0’s in there to be found.

    No spin here, just fact.

  18. 19
    julio

    intheknow, I actually agree that your post was largely void of spin. Especially when you admit that Bama’s woes over the past 10 years were self inflicted, which is something your Bama brethren has rarely done. I also agree with your analysis of the coaches.

    There’s no doubt that Bama’s woes played a large part in the 6 game streak, but I still say it’s odd how Bama fans forget that Bama was ranked in the top 10 during two of those games. (Let’s not re-hash the entire Fran-TAMU thing in 02 again). Auburn won all those games because Auburn was a damn good team during those 6 years, and they beat a hell of a lot of teams besides Alabama. That’s what Bama fans never wanted to admit.

    P.S. I’d hardly say that 02 or 05 was in question until the very end. You can say that 04 was because Auburn won by eight, but the reality is that Bryant Denny stadium was about half empty when Spencer Pennington chucked up that hail mary at the end to get within 8. I was at that game, and everyone knew it was over as soon as Auburn scored their 2nd td in the 3rd quarter. (much like everyone did when Bama went up 17-0 this year). I’ll certainly concede that there were no 36-0’s in there, though.

  19. 20
    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Julios is dead on people. If you argue his point about Bammer spin on crappy coaches, just look up the Bama Nations mouthpieces’ (Shane) article in 05 titled “The Tide Is High , and Shula is The Man”………..I swear I am not making this up. Really . look it up, then get back with me. If you dare.

    Plus there are hundreds of untold articles that express how Bama can win National Championships withoput a great coach……….CAUSE THIER BAMA ,,,ROLL TIDE !!!!!!!!!!!

    You have to admit it fellas. Why ? Cause its true.

    Hey , if we had 45 national championships, I would probably be the same way.

  20. 21
    BamaBrando

    Look, Julio. Why are you trying to justify and compare everything at Auburn to what happens at Alabama? The culture and traditions at Alabama are not remotely the same as Auburn. The fans are different too. But you act like Auburn fans as a whole are smarter or better than Alabama fans as a whole, but your argument is flawed. If Bama hired a 5-19 coach, I expect the fans would be like the Auburn fans are now. Especially if Auburn had a Nick Saban coaching and recruiting as he is at Bama now. If you can’t understand that, then you are a truly delusional Auburn fan.

    Intheknows post is the truth. You just like to have selective memory, much like you accuse us Bama fans of doing. You don’t know as much as you think about Alabama and its fanbase as you think you do. You don’t think that Bamas problems helped Auburns Golden Age at all? For a guy that likes to spout out historical stats and such, look back at the only times in Auburns history that they have been really good.
    1. The years before Bama hired Bryant.
    2. The last years of Bryants career. (Dye)
    3. The years after Gene Stallings. (Tubbs)
    4. The years between Stallings and Saban. (Tubbs)
    Every time Bama has had a great coach, Auburn was just average or below average. Auburn has never had a Bear Bryant type coach, or a Saban type coach. Doesn’t look like they have one now either. The two greatest coaches in Auburns history are not even as good as Stallings was, much less Bryant or Saban. But I am sure you don’t see it this way at all, but it is all true. So yes, Auburn did beat other people when Bama was in turmoil. Auburn got the better recruits in the state more often than Bama. Auburn had an opportunity to widen the gap and build a powerhouse with Bama not being that much of a recruiting threat. You guys had 10 years to dominate and you couldn’t do nothing more than beating Bama 6 in a row. The greatest feat in Auburns history. But that is done now. Bama is the program on the rise, and I will bet they make more out of the situation than Auburn was able to do. I will say it again to you: Bama will win the SEC and NC again before Auburn does.

  21. 22
    julio

    Brando, for god sakes, read my freakin’post before you regurgitate out some knee jerk response. You seriously accuse me of saying that Bama’s problems played no part in Auburn’s success? Look at the this quote from my post: “There’s no doubt that Bama’s woes played a large part in the 6 game streak…”. I know you get real excited and want to put us Aubbos in our place, but calm down and read before you type. It’ll save you a lot of embarrasment.

    BTW, I think we can agree that both schools have enjoyed success during the tough times of the other since Bear died. Stallings was most succesful when Dye was going down the tubes over Eric Ramsey. Dubose even had some success as Terry Bowden was going down and Tubs took over. Saban just manhandled us in a year wher we fired/retired our coach. That cuts both ways, Brando.

  22. 23
    BamaBrando

    Julio, you said that, and then acted like it wasn’t that big of a deal, cause Bama was ranked in the top 10 2 of those times, but we just ‘forgot’ about that. Read the rest of your damn post. I know what you were saying. Talking about how the stadium was empty and all. The point was Auburn never really put a beatdown on Bama in that period of time. And you concede there was no 36-0 games.

    My point is that you seem to think you know the pulse of the Alabama fanbase, while always acting like the Auburn fans are more ‘realistic’ in their views of the Auburn program. And the next point is that you are as delusional as any of them. You are always comparing. Are you Aubsessed with Bama? I think you are.

    You did say Auburn people were down on this hire, while Bama fans flocked around Shula. That is two entirely different situations. While Shula had some success, most knowledgeable Bama fans knew he was more of an interim coach, and when probation was over and things weren’t improving there would be a change. You imply that we say that now, but back then we were 100% behind Shula. That is where you are wrong. I supported Bama, hoped for the best, and was glad when it was over. But I was not upset Bama fired Shula. I know some were, but I wasn’t one of them. But you stereotype us when Auburn is just as bad. Was that you yelling at Jay Jacobs when Chizik arrived? THAT was an embarrassment. Are all Auburn fans that ignorant?

    But what do you expect? You being an Auburn fan and coming here being condescending to the Bama fans here with your backhanded ‘compliments’ and all. Don’t

  23. 25
    julio

    Brando, that was the most rambling, incoherent response ever posted on this blog. We are all dumber for having read it. Allow me to paraphrase:

    “julio, you said exactly what you said you said, but it was a backhanded compliment so you didn’t say what I thought you said, even though you did, and you’re delusional because you compare Auburn and Bama even though that has absolutely nothing to do with the word delusional, and bammers didn’t support the Shula hire at the time it was done because I was not upset 4 years later after they fired him, and Barfield. So there!”

    May God have mercy on your soul, Brando.

  24. 26
    BamaBrando

    Julio, you must not read Omnis posts here. If you can’t understand it, get your head out of your ass. You constantly spin things here, but nobody buys it. You are delusional. You love to stereotype all the Bama fans. You state these opinions you have of us as fact, and the Auburn people just have more sense, because they don’t act like the crazy Bama fans. Do you understand that dickhead? You have no idea what the hell you are talking about, but you do like to twist the stats in your favor. You are just pissed because Bama is always going to be Bama, and nothing Tuberville could do could keep Auburn from being Auburn. If you can’t understand what I am saying, I can sum it up for you: F–K YOU. I am sure you can fill in the blanks, can’t you?

  25. 27
    julio

    You’re an angry little bammer, ain’t ya Brando?? You kiss your mother with that mouth? You’re right Brando. The stereotype of Bama fans that I portray on this website is wholly inconsistent with the way that Bama fans are portrayed by every objcetive media outlet in the entire nation. Bama fans have never been accused by unbiased sources as having completely unrealistic expectations and an irrational sense of entitlement based upon nothing but ancient championships. Bama fans have never uttered the phrase “we’re back” under coaches that were the laughing stock of the entire college football world. I stand corrected.

    P.S. I hope you caught the sarcasm there Brando, because I was laying it on pretty thick.

  26. 28
    julio

    Allow me to post your response for you, Brando: “f#@! you julio, you chickens#!@ a$$hole motherf&#@er!!! eat sh*% and die!!!”

  27. 29
    BamaBrando

    Julio, I really shouldn’t even let your crap bother me. Auburn will always be the second place school in the state. You are here, and I am not posting on an Auburn site. But right now, it seems like your school has turned into the laughing stock. At least you are finally getting some national exposure. Bama has earned a ton of respect, while this year Auburn lost at least 6 years worth. Auburn is getting stereotyped in the national media as being racist. Are you racist? You are an Auburn fan aren’t you? Are you proud of how things are run at Auburn? Instead of coming here trying to make everyone believe Auburn is a better program than Alabama, how about just focusing on what it is going to take to get Auburn over the hump. 10 years of Tubs didn’t do it. But talk about Auburn without trying to compare to Bama and I may have more respect for you. But after reading your garbage here for way to long, I have none. But if you really were such a great Auburn fan, why worry about what someone on a Bama blog has to say? Or is it true all Auburn fans obsess over Alabama?

    But no, I am not angry. I may not look like it, but I’m pleased and happy. 🙂

  28. 30
    BamaBrando

    But hey Julio, glad I could piss you off. Mission accomplished.

    p.s. f#@! you julio, you chickens#!@ a$$hole motherf&#@er!!! eat sh*% and die!!!

    Do you feel better now?

  29. 31
    julio

    Yes, Brando, as very reader can see from reading our posts…it was you who pissed me off and not the other way around.

    FYI – In case you didn’t catch it, I’m using that sarcasm thing again there Brando.

  30. 32
    BamaBrando

    I talk to all of you Auburn goobs the same way, Julio. Don’t flatter yourself. It still don’t change the fact that you are full of shit. I am sure every reader here realizes that also. With all the news at Auburn, it is funny that you still come here to be obsessed with Bama. Are you going to respond to that? You keep wanting to change the subject. If you are not pissed off, why all the ‘sarcasm’? Get over yourself Julio.

  31. 33
    Freakin Bammer

    Due to legal reasons I have to say what I posted on Dec 16th was a lie…. I did not think Shula nor Dubose was a bad hire! Hell I was in the room with Mike and Destiny. AND I have personally jiggled the balls of Nick Saban.
    AMEN..

  32. 34
    OMNIPRESENT

    BamaBrando Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 10:28 am
    Julio, you must not read Omnis posts here. If you can’t understand it, get your head out of your ass.

    FUK U BB just becuase I dont Sit at my PC with Google and WIKI open and come up with these long drawed out NS/uat ass kisses you do doesnt mean I CANT! It simply means I read I respond soooooo
    FUK YOU DAISY!!!

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