Auburn’s dirty little secret

Iron Bowl 2008 coverage at the Capstone Report is made possible by:

There is a reason Auburn fans are held in derision. This.

Ive always pulled for Auburn and against Alabama. But this year, for the first time, I have to admit I enjoy the latter more.

I watch Auburn games whenever I can, and will stick with it to the bitter end, especially if the game is close. But if we are winning in a lopsided fashion, I might take a walk outside at the half, or wash the supper dishes during a time out, or – don’t tell anyone – miss the ending. If we lose, unless it’s to Alabama, I can accept that without much trouble.

But if it’s Alabama playing, winning or losing, I am there until the Fat Lady – the Crimson Tide’s homecoming queen – sings. Even when they run up the score, I imagine that the other team might somehow pull off a miracle in the last seconds, same as Auburn did in 1972…

I haven’t been blue about lackluster Auburn, because I’ve been totally preoccupied with undefeated Alabama. I’ve been beating the chair arms to pieces cheering for LSU, Mississippi State, whatever army shows up to take on the Evil Empire.

Auburn fans care more about Alabama’s failures than their own success—one of your own fan’s just admitted this truth. Some level of interest at rivals is warranted, and if fans develop a contempt for a personality (like Alabama fans’ distaste for Phil Fulmer) it is understandable to pay some attention and wish woe on your old foe.

Advertisement: Story continues below

But the Auburn obsession with Alabama seems odd considering the success the Tigers have enjoyed over the last decade. Why isn’t winning your own games enough to satiate fans?

Why does rivalry escalate to hatred? For the last week on blogs, talk radio and even in the above newspaper column, hatred is embraced and celebrated.

And that isn’t a good thing for football. It isn’t a good thing for the universities.

Football is no longer a gentleman’s game where scores are settled on the field of battle. Football is a game of pettiness—victory means nothing; tormenting your coworkers and family are more important.

And that is sad. Football once meant so much more.


Add Yours
  1. 1
    Auburn Man

    I am not obsessed with Bama.
    Although I was snubbed and the U of A would not accept my admission for a low SAT score. I bear the dung heap dwellars of Tuscaloosa no ill will.
    Some may call me delusional, but I went to Auburn and that makes me an “Auburn Man” which carries the clear cut insinuation that I am better than you, or at least a cut above other people.

  2. 2

    Alabama Polytechnic Institute boy strikes again. “A cut above”? LOL! Let’s see, 21 SEC Championships to 6(four of those won with Alabama coaches), 12 National Championships to 0(1957 doesn’t count, on probation, as usual). As for academics, Forbes Mag has UA # 7, API is off the chart. US News and The Princeton Review also rate UA ahead of API. As for no obsession with UA, you’re reading the Capstone Report, right? Case closed.

  3. 3

    Aurbrn Man,
    Is a friggin joke. He wouldn’t know a winner if it hit him in the ass. Barners are a joke as well as their athletic history. They’re losers, plain and simple.

  4. 4
    Bama Fan In NYC

    As I always say, Barnies hate Alabama more than they love The Alabama PolyTECHnic Institute, almost as if the reasoning behind their hatred is due to not being accepted into The University, and being forced to endure four years of torture in Opelika!

  5. 7

    I agree that AU man is obviously satire…though it seems to be lost on some. It may be the same person as the “I’m Tony Franklin damnit” guy but I guess he had to have a new act.

  6. 8

    Yeah, you bammers never concern yourselves with how Auburn’s performing on the field. Never during the 04 season did any of you find yourselves obssessing with a prayer that someone would knock Auburn off. You’ve never sat back with glee and gloated in an Auburn loss. Most importantly, this web site has never posted any articles that bask in the woes of the Orange and Blue. It’s only Auburn that worries about Alabama. Never the other way around.

  7. 10

    Bushsux STFU you have NO CRED silly lil bitch! you take one aubbie and make a BLOG, if we take one bammer and make a nation out of them I will chose ummmmmmmm BUSHSUX hes the shit of all shit hes probably a drunk and lonely fat ass un-educated sissybitchboy!!! and hes stupid to so he is the POSTER BOY FOR BAMMERS EVERYWHERE fukn loser!!!

    Now b4 you bammers start telling me to take my medicine or something becuase I am on bushsux , SAVE IT hes got me now….JUST WHAT HE WANTED, bushsux your dad/uncle,granddaddy shoulda told “dont go looking for snakes you might find em”



  8. 11

    Omni, do you have some sort of Random Curse generator application installed on your computer which composes a paragraph full of gibberish mingled together with curse words and 2nd-grade punctuation?

  9. 12

    Look at the lowbrow Aubarn fans jumping at the chance to post on an Alabama related website. Fans of the University have always laughed at your fandom’s obsession with Alabama.

  10. 13

    You’re irrelevant. Much like the team you choose to support. Go ahead and think whatever you want of me but you’re way, way off base if you think I’m uneducated. But then again, we can be anything we claim to be online can’t we? Of course I know that my education level stands a very good chance of being superior to yours because I am only 30 sem/hrs from a Doctorate.

    I can tell by your choice of vulgar words that you have a limited vocabulary and pretty much are just a tad above being illiterate. Of course if you have a degree from the barn then it’s about as worthless as the paper it is printed on. Barn is a 2nd rate institution with a 2 tier football program.

    You can get on me all you want because I absolutely love confrontation. Bring it on loser.

  11. 14

    HAHAHAHAH you stupid troll its been on since your racist comment you threw at me from behind another persons log on name and that old addage about limited vocabulary because you use curse words is like saying because he can knock someone out he cant play piano(I do both)
    SO FUK FAG and you didnt mention what that DOCTORATE was in so hide behind you key board lil man the MAN IN THE BOX will get ya!!!

  12. 16

    You’ve got some serious issues. I expect that you need medication and quickly. I actually feel sorry for you and your ineptness at expressing yourself. Do you have the same problem expressing yourself to your boyfriend at night? Either way, you may need to visit your local mental health center but I’m guessing they already know you on a first name basis.


  13. 18

    I hope the barneys lose every time they play. I do not expect for them to wish any better for BAMA. This is one of the reasons we have the best rivalry in college football. (365/24/7) Of course, this year has been special. A barney with any reason has kept his mouth shut, and the enjoyment of our victories has been enhanced by their losses and turmoil. Only a true fool would care more for the other team’s losses more than his team’s victories. What an idiotic article.

    There are some new Crimson and White that traded up from orange and blue, but who wants them.

    Roll Tide Roll with no mercy.

    Rammer Jammer from coast to coast.

  14. 19

    You are right BamaBorn. Julio is crazy. Most Bama fans I know haven’t dwelled on who beat Auburn like he suggests. I could care less. Even in 2004 I could have cared less. This year I have been enjoying watching the Tide go undefeated than to worry about watching a stupid Auburn game. I have watched bits of Auburn this year, but not a complete game. But he is right about one thing: I do laugh when Auburn loses, but I could really care less one way or the other. But I don’t go to Auburn websites and run my mouth like these Auburn homos here do. Julio: go f–k yourself. And take Ballplay and Omni with you.

  15. 20

    Amen to that. I never visit a barn site. The main reason is that I could care less what the inbreds are talking about and why would any sane person want to visit a 2nd tier SEC team’s website??? Doesn’t make sense. And then you get these idiots that are barners on this board that are too stupid to stay out of a winner’s business. It all goes back to being the little brother. That will never change and they know there is nothing that they can do about it. They’ll always be little brothers and wannabees. They need to get a life. Either take up fishing or hunting or even stump breaking like their predecessors have always been successful at.

  16. 21

    Your right I do have issues and they are with you lil man! I have no problem expressing myself and your analogy of me proves you do! I mean its the same ol shit thats said about every POLYTECH GUY in here you just chnage the names to protect your ignorance and BOOM what a blog…… after the AU-vs-uat game WIN or lose I will no longer be coming in here and its because stupid asses like you and bamabrandy and hell the bama nation in general seem to bring the WORST out in me and I dont like being angered by such ignorance. Now I am sure that makes you guys happy and thats fine but i will leave with MY HEAD held high knowing lil men (mental&physical) like you and yours will no longer hold me to you level of maturity, JW your a gentleman Sir and i hope the people you run with are nothing like these 2 fux here! So to save the commnents GOOD BYE AND GOOD RIDINCE and see ya loser and what ever else you guys can think of.
    By the way Cap for the most part this is a pretty cool site Good Luck with it Dude and again bushsux ….FUK U

  17. 22

    See ya later Omni. Been nice knowing ya. Well, not really. But thanks for the props. Glad I could get to you. ROLL TIDE!
    Next question.

    Alright Bushsux! We have run off Omni even before the Iron Bowl! I think he is conceding defeat….

  18. 23

    Omni is melting down, Ballplay is threatening people with ass-kickings….man I love it! These losers have been coming here all season talking crap and rooting against Bama every game. You would think they could hold it together at least a few more days, but -BOOM- the week of the IB they melt down! This is freakin hilarious. I guess they do know it is coming. ROLL TIDE!

  19. 24

    Just because we are behind computer screens, you shouldn’t imply that I am not physically mature. You would be rather surprised my friend. Remember the old saying, be careful what you wish for because you might just get it.

    May I suggest you visit so that you can at least make comprehensible sentences. Oh yeah, that’s right, you’re not gonna be here. Oh well, happy losses to you and the barn faithful.

  20. 25

    Don’t you love it. Friggin idiot barners coming on here and losing their minds cause they know the @sskicking is coming. RTR

  21. 27

    YOU LIL BITCHES I said after the IB and you didnt run me off I made a decision not to let STUPID redneck fux like you 2
    cuase me anger and bushsux way to REGURGITATE my DONT go looking for snakes comment. You see thats about all that goes on here on this website bammas repeat Shanes Shit and we just make fun of that and a couple of other facts about you neanderthals. One thing for sure is on Saturday there will be a winner and IF IT IS NOT YOU GUYS????

    Thats when the real meltdown follows its gonna ge fukn FUNNY!!! and hell if we lose well WE ARE SUPPOSED TO! Whats the line 21? And jump any bandwagon ya want FL is next win or lose to us and GENTS I think if you reach deep down in ya past your head thats up your ass and into you intestines you will find the truth….YOUR SCARED AS HELL OF THEM GATORS!!!

    And bushsux I aint afraid of NO GHOST!!


  22. 30


    instead of some stupid comment about CAPS and SCREAMING bullshit how about commenting on the FACT of being SCARED about that SCECG with FLORIDA you lil CHEERLEADER YOU!!!

  23. 31
    Auburn Man

    Calm down there OMNI,
    The tidebots are getting you into a lather. Just remind them as I do constantly. Orange blazers at the games look stunning.
    Think >>>>>Lee County
    Think>>>>>>>the loveliest village on the plains>>>>>
    think Phillip Marshall>>>>>
    Think >>>Kodi Burns gold teefers!
    Doesnt that feel better?
    And always remember, you are better than the sorry Bammer trash…. Why?
    Because you think you are!
    It works for me!
    I am Auburn Man… A god among mankind. Plus I really do look good in an Orange Blazer.


  24. 32

    Omni, you ignorant little Auburn fan, you sure like to talk all big and bad when you know your team is about to get their ass beat. Talk your smack all you want. We are undefeated and your team sucks pretty bad. Do you feel better coming to a Bama site to get your frustration out? It still won’t change the facts. It is funny to see how mad you get. If I could get you and Ballplay in a room together, I would rub ya’lls noses together and watch yall slap and pull each others hair out like the little bitches you are. It would be fun to watch, but it still wouldn’t change anything. But ya’ll keep it up! It is funny to see you guys meltdown the closer the game gets!

  25. 33

    Well seeing as how none of my blogs in here refer to AU and BEATING YOU GUYS becuase I dont think we will unless uat helps us! I have been hurling insults at you to chickosticks because you 2 fux suck! I did ask the question on what were you guys gonna say IF you lost and noone answered but leave it off the IB its PERSONAL FAG!!! BUSHSUX AND YOU are typical bammas you YELL REAAL LOUD until someone acknowledges that your talking and then you back down with …look hes mad now hes mad about AU blowing up so he is blowing up hahahah hes stupid! YOUR PATHETIC and these guys can read one blog and buy it if they want but again its personal it go that way when ONE of you TWO went under Ballplays name to hurl a RACIST comment at me I happen to have married outside my race and I am proud my mom raised me with a wide open mind unlike you 2 who probably still think baiting BAMBI with sex and food then killin it is a sport to… SOOOOO lets kepp this VERBAL ASSAULT going because after the IB im outta here anyway..


  26. 34

    Omni, what the hell did you just say? That incoherent gibberish barely conveyed anything but stupidity. I could care less who you are married to or who your mom is you paranoid dipshit. I have not said anything racist, nor posted under any name but this. I do not deer hunt. I am a musician and a commercial artist. This isn’t about your wife, Ballplay or my personal life. It is about you trying to call me out and I am backing up what I said. I have answered you multiple times already about what I would think if Bama lost. And I repeat: IT WOULD BE A VERY EMBARRASSING LOSS TO LOSE TO THIS SUCK-ASS AUBURN TEAM. Do you understand this time? I have my doubts. What will you do? Go a little more crazy? If you can’t handle it little man, why don’t you leave?

  27. 35

    I’m with you BamaBrando. I tried reading that, with emphasis on the word ‘tried’. I was able to learn that he married outside of his race but little else. I’ve been able to deduce as well that he’s not an English professor.

Comments are closed.