Blog Wars

Auburn fans don’t let facts get in the way of a good blog
by intheknow72

Tis the season…the off season, that is; under 50 days until kick-off of college football 2008, and the mud slinging between Alabama and Auburn is in full swing.  Ahhh.  Breathe it in…it wouldn’t be July without it.  Thanks to The Capstone Report (and other “lesser” blogs like it), we get to talk smack with each another, cranking out one liners like there’s no tomorrow.  Just conjure up a screen name, feverishly hammer out a blog, hit “submit comment,” and our little hearts race as we excitedly await our post making it to the screen.  “That’ll show ’em,” we think, as we sit back and cross our arms, proud of both our accomplishment and contribution to humanity.

For those of you that don’t know, The Capstone Report is a blog for Alabama fans about Alabama sports–primarily football.  It is unapologetically Alabama, though its creator (my opinion) does a great job of relaying information down the middle.  Amazingly, at least half of the readership are Auburn fans.  Don’t get me wrong; they’re welcome here.  But while they won’t purchase tickets to their own games, they’ll hit this site like fish going after a dough ball.  And I think it is hilarious.  Heck, we all think it’s hilarious.  Why?  I’m glad you asked.  I’ll explain in a minute.

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But first, there was a term birthed on this site a while back that absolutely epitomizes the Auburn fan.  The term was one I had never heard before, but whoever came up with it deserves some sort of recognition.  Just like the men who contributed to the discovery of the atom, the one who coined this term uncovered the very matter that makes up our little brothers across the state.

 
The term?  “Aubsessed.”  Defined, Aubsessed means this: an overwhelming obsession with all things Alabama.  The Auburn fan eats it.  He sleeps it.  He breathes it.  Heck, he lives it.  Like an albatross weighing down the Ancient Mariner, the Auburn fan cannot pull away from his engrained Aubsession to get just one more zinger across “to them bammers” before prying his fingers from his sticky keyboard for the night.  Correct spelling and grammar are electives in his quest, but the main thing is that he defends all that is holy to him.  And that thing is NOT Auburn football.

There has long been a debate in this state over what is most important: your team winning, or your hated rival losing.  Without question, the Auburn fan’s Aubsession zeroes in on Alabama losing.  Whether on the field or off, Alabama moving in the opposite direction of success is the orange and blue holy grail.  If they have an actual part in that demise, it’s just a bonus.

I’m not a prophet, but as you read this, your comments that will inevitably follow will prove my point for me perfectly.  From the time this site was called “FireShulaNow” till now, nothing invokes a response from the Aubsessed nation like an article that heralds an Alabama accomplishment or sheds light on an Auburn shortcoming.

 
Comments rain down in a downpour as something strikes the Auburn fan at his/her core.  Like a moth to the flame, with your Aubie brothers and sisters you just have to let out a collective “Unh-unh!”  And yes, we that follow Alabama football, again on an Alabama website, think it is hilarious.  Why, again you ask?  Okay, you’ve been patient…here is the answer:

Because, over the last decade, if the fortunes were reversed between our two schools, from where we stand, it would be as if Auburn didn’t even exist. 

A nine game streak–which Alabama still owns and Auburn doesn’t–would wipe Auburn from our every day conversation.  Talk would be of championships, and while this may have become cliché to the Auburn fan, championships still actually matter in Tuscaloosa.  But the most delightful thing to the Alabama fan about Auburn’s “success” is that the Auburn fan can’t enjoy it.  Instead, he is stuck in the quagmire of continually trying to remind everyone of how great he–or in this case, his team–is.  We’ve all known a person like that in life, and we all nod to appease him as we turn to walk away, chuckling under our breath.

If Alabama competed in a two team Western division, which essentially Auburn has done over the last decade, we would be MOST concerned that we had only made it to Atlanta twice and won there once.  We would question how a program like Arkansas, seemingly in a constant state of upheaval, had been there as many times.  And our focus would be on what we could do to make our program even better.  We might even gawk at the fact that LSU, if they get there this year, would merely tie our number of appearances as the West’s representative.

But despite the myriad of problems Alabama has faced–most of them self-inflicted–what baffles the Auburn fan is how optimistic but realistic the Alabama fan is today.  And the reason for this is, Alabama fans embrace the facts, while the Auburn fan just tries to win the blogfest.  Facts like Auburn’s Iron Bowl “streak” being a direct result of an uneven playing field.  Or stars mattering on the plains back when Auburn could still land top talent.  Or Auburn having 19 commitments that no other school of note wants.  Or Auburn going 0 for 15 in head-to-head recruiting with Alabama last year.  Or the latest revelation that at the height of its success and Alabama’s low, Auburn can’t sell out and Bama can.  So much commentary could be added about these and many other facts, but it’s not important.  Like the sun rising in the east, these are facts that can’t be disputed. 

In closing, no one is suggesting the Auburn fan shouldn’t be happy with the present state of the two programs.  All that’s been suggested here is that somewhere along the way, the Auburn fan should take a hard look at himself and pose the question, “Why am I so Aubsessed with an Alabama blogsite?”  And then possibly take a casual stroll in the direction of fact and truth.  Both endeavors may do him good, and possibly set him free.

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83 Comments

Add Yours
  1. 1
    Ballplay Indian

    I asked the question “Why am I obsessed with an Alabama blog sight?”. After carefull consideration I came up with this answer.

    I just love to argue…thats it …Silly , I know. But I do . I especially love to argue with Bammers. Heck, its fun..I watch the Bammers dance like puppets. Its an easy thing to do.

    Say things like “Eehhh ,,,I just dont know about Saban.” And oh my gosh,,you would have thought I slapped there mommas. And I know that a lot of the Bammers feel the same. its what makes this “THE” CFB rivalry.

    I have come across a few worthy opponents in our debates. TMAC is one ST CLAIR another CHRISTOPHERSON. There are a few others.

    Now go on and give me pure hell for what I posted. LETS GET IT ON !!

  2. 2
    Matt

    I haven’t posted to this site in a while because many of the egocentric Bama fans on here tend to think the freakin’ world revolves around them, and consequently they believe a post must mean we (Auburn Alum and fans) are obsessed with them. It used to be fun to banter back and forth, but the tired old argument that a post on here means we are obsessed with Bama has taken all the fun out of it. You guys have convinced yourself that AU comments on this site mean we are obsessed, and nothing will change your mind… despite our attempts to be candid, open, and logical about our reasons. The fact that Auburn sites are infested with Bama fans is somehow lost on Bama fans in these type of conversations. Regardless, let me be as open and candid as I can possibly be.

    This site is not the only one that I visit. In fact, I have a whole list of sites that I visit, mostly AU, some national, and this one. So why do I visit this one? I visit it for the very same reason that Ballplay Indian outlined: it’s fun to banter back and forth. It’s not much fun to argue and banter with people who agree with you (i.e., other Auburn fans).

    So that’s it. Take it or leave it, that is the only reason I visit and occassionally comment on this site.

  3. 3
    leebenp

    AUbsession is becoming a serious disease. I work in the Auburn/Opelika area and listen to the local sports Talk show (Sports Call & Sports X) after Finebaum. They polled their audience the other day about what they would desire most in 2008 if they had to choose only one: Win the National Championship this year or beat Alabama for the 7th time in a row. The results were not that shocking. Out of the 25 Barners that called 13 wanted an NC & 12 would rather the streak continue using excuses like, “Lets get 10 in a row & then work on a National Championship” insinuating that the National Championship isn’t relevant anyways. There are obviously some intelligent Barners out there but most (yes most) are dangerously AUbsessed with Alabama.

  4. 4
    RedneckTider

    AUbsession NO – easily amused- YES. We come in here because you bammer fans think your sh@t doesn’t smell. You think you are the top of the world in college football and every else is crap. We come in here to pick fights and laugh. I agree with ballplay.. there are several others that blog on here and I have fun talking smack with them.. tmc1 and CHRISTOPHERSON. You talk about AU’s ticket sells like they do not sell out games. You can’t buy season tickets to AU unless you get on a waiting list and get lucky. Just because delusional bammer fans bought out tickets in about 3 seconds does not mean that no one else will sell out. You see that is where reading your post amuse me. You think you are above everyone else. When actually, you are just delusional.

  5. 5
    julio

    Ahh, where to begin pointing out the blantant inaccuracies posted in this spot? First of all you contend that AU fans are obsessed with Bama simply because they post and read on this site, all the while ignoring that the subject of half the posts on this blog were about Philip Marshal’s reporting about Auburn prior to him leaving the Times. While we’re at it, let’s not forget that half the responses posted to Marshal’s AU blog were from the same Bammers that post on this site.

    Secondly, you once again blame Auburn’s utter and total domination of Bama over the past 6 years on an “uneven playing field” caused by sanctions and incompetent coaches. Wasn’t Bama ranked in the top 10 during 2 of those games? Didn’t bammers flood the airwaves after the Tenn game in late October last year screaming “we’re back, we’re back”? Wasn’t there a Sports Illustrated cover in 2005 proclaiming that Bama was back? (I suppose you would have us believe that all the Bammers called SI and told them they were full of nonsense.) Please explain to me why Bama can defeat both Florida and Tenn by more than 3 td’s each during this same time period, but Bama suddenly becomes “crippled” by sanctions and incompetent coaches when it’s time to play Auburn. You won’t explain it, because the only explanation is that these “excuses” are a bunch of BS. Here’s the true “fact” that Bama is too terrified to “embrace”: Tuberville has owned Bama so much that he is now in Bama’s head the same way that Spurrier got into Georgia’s head and dominated the Dogs back in the 90’s. (At least Ga fans were realistic enough to admit that they hating getting their a$$ beat rather than whining about their overall record in the series). Until Tubs leaves, Bama will never be back. Embrace that fact and enjoy the fingers.

  6. 7
    aubiescottie

    yeah, yeah we are obsessed w/ Bama…and you guys aren’t??? You guys are so obesses you actually need a spokesman to lead the obession! SHANE! Lets talk about facts, Of the 19 posts he has on here, 8 are directly about AUBURN.

    Who’s obessed w/ who here?

  7. 9
    julio

    Snappy comeback, intheknow. Maybe you can spice it up next time with “I know you are, but what am I?”, or perhaps the ever reliable “you wish”. You’re actually allowed to post articles on this blog, and that’s the best comeback you can come up with? Cap, you’ve got to get some better talent in here.

  8. 10
    freaking genius

    delUAsionUAl. despUArUATE. dysfuntionUAl.

    so your argument, intheknow, is something like this:

    if Alabama was as good as Auburn, Alabama fans would be discussing why bama only has one SEC title in the last 10 years.

    Brilliant. you people are so deluasionual you can’t even see how desperuate your “well-thought-out” posts sound.

    Your football team sucks because your entire program is dysfuntionUAl. Starting at the top (Board) and working down (President, AD, etc). It’s not as if AU planted Shula, Dubose, Price, Fran and the others in your program as a sabotage. YOU IDIOTS PUT THEM IN PLACE!

    Every year the West is a two horse race between LSU and AU. We are happy to have doormats (vandy, bama, ole miss) to count as wins every year.

    • 11
      WhoreEagle

      I love reading these old posts. Auburn fans used to come out in droves!

      Now, we are lucky if one or two comment here.

      Like an old woman said…”If you want Auburn fans to be nice…..,beat em’.”

  9. 12
    Ballplay Indian

    You guys are kind of proving his point. Lets face it ..We have obsesion on both sides of the ball. And thats O.K.

    I must admit I keep up with Bammer more than I prolly should. But…thats only because I cant stand them.

    I was in a deep discusion with my bammer brother-in-law last year. we both came to the realization that you can never truly be an Auburn or Alabama fan unless you truthfully despise the other team. I mean the kind of gut wrenching feeling that can only come from REEEEAAALLLY wanting the other team to fail. Thats where Im at. I dont harbor any hatred in the acedemic sense, My children may need to go thier someday (lets hope not). But in terms of football. I want Bammer to lose EVERY game. Im I the only one? And does that make me strange? I highly doubt it. No other rivalry can touch ours. Thats why I had to reprimand the Arkansas pig boy when he jumped up the other day. He has not got a clue about THIS RIVALRY.

    FACTS ARE LIKE KRYPTONITE TO A BAMMER.

  10. 14
    freaking genius

    I’m “obsessed” with bama the same way i’m “obsessed” with car wrecks. when i’m stuck on the interstate for 45 minutes and finally work my way to the cause, i cannot help but look to see what’s happening. Usually i try to assess what caused the wreck and who was at fault.

    i call that curiousity. you can call it AUbsession. whatever makes you bammers feel like your team is still valid.

    a car wreck: THAT is alabama football.

  11. 15
    intheknow72

    “Freaking genius” has commented not once but twice to this one article, can’t spell, and has yet to construct a coherent thought.

    “Julio” wrote two as well, the first being a dissertation.

    “Ballplay Indian” was first out of the gate, commented twice, and then admitted my original point, saying: “I must admit I keep up with Bammer more than I prolly should.”

    “Aubiescottie” can’t count.

    And “Matt” can’t make the connection between living on an Alabama blog and being Aubsessed.

    Thanks, students. Again, you have made my point for me! You are hilarious!

  12. 16
    Ballplay Indian

    IntheKnow …Dam, You got us..You are one intelligent person. Hence the handle “In The Know”..If you think you can shame me into NOT posting,,,sorry. Aint no shame in my game baby. I will now see how many times I can post on this thread. I mean, hey , why stop a good thing. I try to educate you dumbassed Bammers by giving facts and info in the hopes that one day you can be like myself.

    FACTS ARE LIKE KRYPTONITE TO A BAMMER.

  13. 17
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW …Post #4 here .. the AUBsession continues.. Do yall think that Snake would consider coming to Auburn? If yall dont want him any more , why not let us have him. I mean heck. It would be a step up and we could be more like Bammer to boot.

  14. 18
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW..#5 AND COUNTING. I just cant help it man. Do you think Saban really meent it when he “dismissed ” Jimmy Johns from the team? If he did, I say that Tubbs tries to offer him a scholarship. It would be better than the ones hes giving away to these D-2 talent level guys, right?

  15. 19
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW… Is jeremy Elder going to prison? If not , do you think he would come play for us? We could use some good d-lineman. All ours stink.

    Post #6

  16. 20
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW…POST #7 HERE.. You know, I wish Tubbs were more like Saban, He needs to get his priorities straight. Why go visit the troops when you could be crootin? He needs to realize that CFB losses are like Pearl Harbor and 9/11 like Saban does. I am envious.

  17. 21
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW..#9 HERE…I wish the rest of the state, heck , the rest of the country could see that the only reason Alabama has been down is cause of the evil NCAA. Its all a conspiricy. I realize, unlike most barners , that the only reason we are worth a crap is cause of the bad, bad, NCAA. I wish we could suck as bad as Bama does. i mean yall make playin like crap look soooo good.

  18. 22
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW..#10..If we gave out crack AND meth during practice, do you think we could have as many players arrested as yall? Just wanting some input so we can be like Bama.

  19. 23
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW…#11 HERE. I wish our decision makers / hirers would hire 5 coaches in 3 years when Tubbs leaves. Maybe we can hire a perv like Price so we can be just like Bama. Heck we could even fire him after 2 months on the job.

    Yep Im AUbsessed.

  20. 24
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW..PLEASE TELL ME YOUR KEEPING COUNT #12 HERE. We play LAMO in weak #1 please tell me how we can suck enough for them to beat us. I mean , Bama knows how, and we dont, so please tell us , so we can be like yall.

  21. 25
    Ballplay Indian

    Dangit ..i siped #8 INTHEKNOW. I Gues its cause I am a barner and cant count…sorry.

    Do yall think that Shula would want to be our coach since yall fired him too?

  22. 26
    intheknow72

    Ballplay, you continue to make my point for me. I got under your skin, and I love it.

    Your spelling and grammar is horrendous, but if you truly want to be like “Bammer:

    1. Win 11 more National Championships
    2. Win about 20 more SEC Championships
    3. Don’t become Aubsessed with Bama

  23. 27
    Ballplay Indian

    INTHEKNOW #13 HERE.. Please tell me how we can talk RAYMOND COTTON out of going to the ESPN elite 11 camp. Yall dont have anyone going, and we like to be like yall.

  24. 28
    julio

    intheknow, you honestly believe that you have made some type of “point” simply because some Auburn fans did nothing more than post a response? That makes about as much sense as thinking it somehow besmirches Auburn when Bama quickly sells a bunch of tickets to the Western Carolina and Tulane games. Btw, if you acknowledge any of my responses in any shape, form, or fashion for the rest of your life, you’re making my point. (P.S., I’d still love for at least one of you bammers to explain why Bama can defeat Florida, Tenn, and LSU by more than 3 td’s each during the streak, but then miraculously became “crippled” by sanctions and incompetent coaches when it was time to play Auburn. I’ve asked that question a number of times on this blog, and not a single bammer has even acknowledged it. Something tells me it will be ignored once again.)

  25. 29
    Ballplay Indian

    Post 14….whewww .. nevermind A.J. “Matt Ryan” Mccarron IS going to the camp ..YAAAYYYY!!!! We are like Bama!!

  26. 30
    intheknow72

    Julio, because on a team starved for depth, by the time you reach the 12th game, injuries take a major toll. One year we entered the Auburn game without a single healthy center on the team. When you lose 18 scholarships, those things happen. Perhaps in my next article I’ll go into detail for you, but then again, it won’t matter. But then again, you don’t really care about the facts, so I won’t bother.

  27. 32
    C-Bass

    Intheblow,
    do you hang with Jimmy Johns? Julio just asked you a legit question and you followed with nothing but excuses. Look at your statement above. Look at it. Pathetic. Stand on your soapbox and then make excuses. I dont come here to banter. I come here to laugh. Did you say you have a nice ring? Better hide it. Elder needs lunch money. Pathetic .

  28. 34
    intheknow72

    …and predictably, I kicked over an ant hill and we all get to watch the Auburn fans scurry around. One liners here, zingers there. But totally ignorant to the truth or facts. Talk about pathetic.

  29. 35
    redneckaubie

    Auburners aint Aubsessed even iffen we is the only people to comment on this here blog so far. 34 times to say the same shit over and over. that might be a new record!

  30. 36
    Bama Fan in NYC

    Never fear Opelika Barnies. I love the hostile debating just as much as you guys do.

    Just promise us, when your streak ends in a bloody fashion on November 29, 2008, you all will stick around to hear the thrashings we’ve been saving up for six, long miserable years.

  31. 37
    IhateGeorgeW.

    ”Why am I so Aubsessed with an Alabama blogsite?”

    Intheknow72, the answer to that undying question can be determined in multiple ways.

    1. Insecurity. Judging by the current state of their program, they feel overly insecure about the direction they’re headed in. Despite the nonsense they talk, they fear Alabama is on the rise and will reclaim their rightful position as the state’s heir to the throne. Hence the reason they talk it up to the point of no return on a daily basis.

    2. Inferiority. Even though it’s obvious they’ve come to realize and understand they’ve won the previous six* meetings, they also realize and understand not even a winning streak over Alabama, while they were at their weakest will remove that dark, literally unbearable shadow that Alabama casts over their program — that and the fact that our obsessive fan base is still more passionate, supportive and loyal toward a team that hardly hasn’t turned any heads any at all this decade.

    3. Hate. They hate Alabama more than they hate terrorists. Why? For the above points listed. They can’t stand us simply because they choose to support the second rate, ugly little redheaded stepchild team of the state of Alabama and strangely enough, they’ll never forgive US for that.

    4. Envy/Jealousy. They’ll forever suffer from a miserable state of jealousy which is the reason they not only hate us, but also envy us as well. They’ll never accomplish half of what we have over the course of our illustrious history, and that will forever eat at them, piece by piece. They’ll make as many futile attempts possible to bring us down, just make themselves feel better about themselves. But even through the dark clouds of delusion, they know they’ll never find the solution to equaling out our two programs.

    5. Escalation. The more attention Alabama receives, the more their hate, envy, and jealousy increases immensely. And the more their hate, envy, and jealousy grows, the more annoying and delusional they get. This is the exact reason they will forever be the proverbial gnat in Alabama’s ass.

    I hope the most of you found these enlightening answers both useful and informing. But then again, it is common sense to those who don’t reside in the pit of hell aka Opelika, Alabama.

  32. 38
    I-Man

    Hay Folkz I(ncomprehenisble) Man hear…

    Yew dunnow whot yor talkin bout guye. Aubuuaurn has mowre importent thangz to thenk abowt thann Alabammer.

    NUMMER FORTEEN IS A CUMMIN THIES SEESON!

    n bye teh waye, ef yoll evur neeed yor are condishioning younit change, juss geve I-Man Heetin an Are a cawl.

  33. 39
    Christopherson

    The facts and truth is they can’t accept the fact that they’ve feasted over our weakened state over the past six years. Alabama Polytechnic Institute fans think their success over not only us but the SEC had nothing to do with Alabama’s decline. A lot of people blame it on probation, but it was more than just probation, it was nearly half a dozen coaching changes and the coach we finally settled on ended up being our worst coach to date since JB Ears Whitworth. We ridicule Tubby, and even though he has proven himself to be a mediocre coach, he still was a better coach than Shula, but only defeated him by five points one year, by a touchdown two other years, and his biggest win over Shula came by ten points, and three touchdowns came in the first quarter of the game and this was during the only winning season Shula ever recorded. Shula was a piss poor recruiter, a very below average coach, a boneheaded decision maker, and a loser plain and simple and on top of all of that he was forced to coach this Alabama team during NCAA sanctions and that was a HUGE mistake. A large part of Alabama Polytechnic Institute’s success was due to him. They deny it today like they always have done during the height of their brief success periods, but we will rebound and they will pay for beating us while we were at our weakest and barely defeating us at that.

  34. 40
    intheknow72

    Christopherson, well said. Probation was just one element in a bigger overall problem. And now that the root of those problems are beginning to clear, the Aubsession is beginning to come to a boil. But you have to admit; it is kind of fun to watch… 🙂

  35. 41
    Berman

    watching little brother’s syndrome in the process is always a delight. but like i said in another article:

    they wouldn’t be considered a sincere alabama tech fan if they didn’t live, eat, sleep, breathe, and worship alabama. it’s possible they could be more aubsessed with alabama than alabama fans are!!!

    count this as my signature:

  36. 42
    tmc1

    guys…
    to me the bigger picture is and will always be the fact that Auburn fans live in a constant state of frustration. After getting to a point where they think they are finally out from under Bama’s shadow they are pulled back to reality by records that they know they will never accomplish. Like the current streak for the Iron Bowl. It is nine in a row…( Not Six.) but instead of waiting around for thier teams to try to equal or better the record…. they chose to by-pass the record like it never existed. That is why they are Auburn. They want the glory but they are not willing to put in the real hard work to achieve it. They want the respect but they sidestep and cut corners left and right. And they dont mind re-inventing the truth or sometimes just downright lying, cheating or chopblocking. And all the time they are doing these things they are wondering why no one likes them or respects them. Doink!
    Auburn is like a A CHESS PLAYER trying to tell Micheal Jordan how to play basketball. (they dont know because they havent ever been there.) And that is the sad story of Auburn. They want everyone else to forget the past and the truth just to make them feel a little better about themselves.
    That is why they show up here daily. Just to prove to THEMSELVES in some small way that they are as good as Bama.

  37. 43
    RedneckTider

    tmc1- you worry so much about being witty and STILL thinking your program is on top of the NCAA world. Delusional and ridiculous. You are sad. I actually enjoy coming in here and reading your pathetic post and getting a hugh laugh out of them. You are a typical bammer fan Here are a few examples of bammer football.
    7 wins, 6 losses, 10 arrests, and 4 million dollars a year. Somewhere on the scale of laughable to pathetic is the state of football at UAT.
    To say that you are not the laughing stock of football is ridiculous. I am travel the world over with the military and in fact will not be aorund for football season this year but I always here about bammer fans. How ridiculous and pathetic they are. Living in the past etc.. etc.. and then you come along and prove it all to be correct.
    This website provides comic relief for many of us in the armed forces.

  38. 44
    Frank Drackman

    I don’t care if he does make $9,000,000 a year, that hat Saban wears is Gay with a Capital Homo.

  39. 45
    julio

    gee intheknow, you’re exactly right in your analogy of how depth problems begin to take their toll on a team by the end of the season. You conveniently forget that Auburn spanked Bama’s a$$ one year with a little midget 4th string tailback that put up 126 yds. (btw, Bama beat LSU 1 week before that game 31-0 in BR. LSU’s coach was some guy named Saban. Despite the fact that Bama was favored by 10 pts in that game, I guess the crippling effect of those sanctions miraculously appeared during practice that week. No, wait, it was another excuse-Fran was going to A&M.) Please astonish us with more “facts”. P.S. You made my point by responding to my last comment.

  40. 46
    julio

    Oh yeah, I forgot to compliment you on the fabrication of yet another excuse to justify Bama’s losses. Now it’s because the Iron Bowl is so late in the season. You know, we could make a bunch of excuses about the 9 game streak, too (i.e. Barfield, probation, Shug at the end of his career.). AU fans don’t, because we acknowledge every one of those factors were our own fault. We just got whipped, and we admit it. At the age of 40 I have almost no memory of any of those games in the 9 game streak, but I won’t make excuses for them.

  41. 47
    freaking genius

    INTHEKNOW SAYS: “Probation was just one element in a bigger overall problem. ”

    YOU DON’T SAY!!??!!

    that’s the point. your probation was huge, but it was still ONLY A SMALL PART of your dysfunctional program.

    When will you hillbilly bama fans understand the football team is just PART of a bigger program??? are you aware that there is an entire school attached to your football team?

    that is what makes college sports so special to the rest of the nation. we understand our ties to the PROGRAM (not just the football team).

    delusionUAL.

  42. 48
    KennyBanya

    Hey intheknow,

    B-I-N-G-O!!!!

    Reading this has been absolutely side-splitting…and they STILL don’t get it!!

    A-brasive
    U-neducated
    O-bsessed

  43. 49
    A-K-A APIman

    None of us know Squat and are not gonna know until 11-29-08 ( I cant wait cause as my pappy lets shut up and kick the dust up ) ….OH yea intheknow72(right)
    IM obessessed I wanna be a BAMMA so bad that i have started the following

    Lying
    Cheating
    Stealing
    Selling COke
    Doing Coke
    Drinking/Driving
    Telling my Girlfriend how good its gonna be while knowing im lying

  44. 53
    intheknow72

    Julio, when you speak, it’s as if flatulence bypasses your ass and comes directly through your mouth.

    Your worship of our program and continued paranoia over the shadow ou see on the horizon literally makes my day. You and those like you make me giggle.

    Now quick! Say something clever!

    “Bamuh aaen’t never gonna beet us agin!”
    -Julio

  45. 54
    julio

    ooh, another one of those whimsical posts laden with insults that state no facts whatsoever. How do you muster all this intellectual fortitude? Maybe in your next post you can pepper in some snappy words like “idiot”, or “aubbo”. That’ll put me in my place. For God sakes though, whatever you do, do not astound us with any more “facts” such as that fantasy you espoused about Bama being magically crippled by a lack of depth during the Iron Bowl 7 days after beating LSU 31-0. BTW, Does your shift manager at Krystal know that you’re in the office on the computer? You better get your a$$ back out there and change that grease in the deep fryer before you get canned.

    Cappy, can you seriously not find any better talent than this?

  46. 57
    Bama fan in NYC

    Julio, what more facts do you need? Talk about loss number 1 to The Alabama PolyTECHnic Institute seven days after thumping LSU, why don’t we talk about 8 Iron Bowl losses over a 12 year period, then immediately after we’re placed on NCAA sanctions and just prior to coaching turmoil you suddenly own us on the playing and recruiting field? How do you explain that, other than the typical Tubby, the guy who never found success in the SEC until six years after debuting as a head coach, done so all on his own, without capitalizing on Alabama’s weakened state. State your next false fact or something other than is typically expected from lowlife Opelika trash such as yourself.

  47. 58
    Barnie Basher

    Why don’t we talk about equaling Louisiana Monroe by only beating an Alabama team in the aftermath of chaos by 7 points.

    Or winning by 5 points against a 4-8 Alabama team in Shula’s first year?

    Or back to back 7 point wins against a 6-5 Alabama team?

    Even another touchdown victory over an NCAA and injury beleaguered, Alabama during the greatest season in the lackluster history of your program?

    Is Alabama Tech going to continue to squeak out wins with Division 3-A caliber talent, when they couldn’t win big with better talent than us?

  48. 59
    intheknow72

    Julio, if you would have said Jack’s I would have DIED! Thanks for rolling out your A material for me. Let me get on my knees so I can talk to you eye to eye, son.

    You don’t care about facts, so I don’t know why I bother. But, for the sake of everyone else reading this, the 2002 win over LSU came in Saban’s second year there after he took over a delapidated (it’s in the dictionary, in the D’s) program. LSU had had two winning seasons in ten years. They were a shadow of what they are today.

    Julio, stop reading here, because I don’t want to bore you with something as petty as the truth…this is for everyone else. After beating LSU 31-0 in 2002, it is a FACT–you know, the thing Julio ignores just like women ignore Julio–that Coach Fran spent the next week negotiating with TAMU. I have friends that were on that team that testify that he was only present at one team meeting that week, the Auburn game. And he missed one of the practices altogether, something he NEVER did. This from a man who was a control freak and micromanager. His mind was a million miles away from T-Town or that game. I’m not saying he threw the game, but he definitely didn’t put anything into it. And if you watched the season unfold, that particular game didn’t resemble any other game they played all season, and it wasn’t because of the competition. It was preparation. And that’s coaching.

    Okay, little Julio, back to you…when I come to an Auburn site to interact with you, then I’ll be whatever you want to call me. But as long as you keep coming here to feed your insecurities and paranoia, your Aubsession is as plain as the empty spots in Auburn’s trophy case.

    Now quick, say something funny about working at a gas station…or a pizza place! Or just write another long post that I won’t read. You desperately need a family.

  49. 60
    rhYno

    Didn’t Alabama lose to Hawaii that year as well after losing to the BCS Champions that year by a hair and dominating UT and LSU?

  50. 61
    intheknow72

    No. They beat Hawaii 21-16 and were the rightful SEC West Champions. Arkansas, who they beat 30-11 in their house earlier in the year, went to Atlanta by default.

  51. 62
    The Joker

    To quote the legendary Charles Barkley (verbatim): “Auburn (Alabama’s Polytechnic Institute) is like me, and Alabama is like Michael Jordan. They’ve been through some tough times this decade, and we’ve won because of that. But Alabama will get better and they will start beating us again.”

    One of you Barnies should reassure Barkley of his “delusions”.

  52. 63
    berrrrrrrman

    yeah, hawaii almost beat us and alabama tech did. stomping lsu, tennessee, losing to the SEC champions by 3 points, and almost upsetting the national champions, i’d say the reason the last two games of the season were so close was because tommy tuberville was just that good… so good, he was the reason we only beat hawaii by 5 points. fran’s departure had nothing to do with it.

    Count this as my signature:

  53. 64
    tmc1

    Hey Intheknow,
    They still dont get it. The whole might of the Auburn think tank (on this blog) still hasnt figured out that the running punch line to your post is that every time they post a comment they look like the losers. The revel in their own shitheadedness so much they cant even figure out when they are the butt of a joke.

  54. 65
    julio

    Boy, intheknow, you really make this far too easy. You headline your article stating that AU fans don’t let “facts” get in their way, you berate my posts by stating that I don’t care about facts (all the while ignoring that my posts are regularly filled with nothing but solid facts), and then you attempt to insult me in return by stating loads of BS that are blatantly incorrect. Let’s break this puppy down, shall we?

    1. Saban’s 1st yeat at LSU was 2000. By my Auburn math, I believe that would make 2002 his third year, not his second. (On second thought, I guess you don’t work at Krystal. You have to be able to count to three to get a job there.)

    2. Your stated “fact” that LSU was “D”elapidated at the time of the 02 game and a shadow of what they are today is also pure fantasy. LSU won the SEC the year before, and was ranked #14 at the time of the 02 game. (You remember crowing about all them SEC titles Saban won, don’t ya?)

    3. Oh, where to begin with the oft stated excuse of Fran’s iminent departure as the “crippling” reason for the 02 IB and these hilarious “facts” you cite in support therof. I am particularly fond of your reliance upon your friend’s cousin’s sister’s hairdresser’s mother-in-law’s next door neighbor’s third cousin who knows a guy that overheard someone in the hallway talking about a guy that was a janitor at the football complex saying that Fran missed practice and meetings that week because he was negotiating with A&M. Hallelujah, folks! Intheknow is our own deepthroat. We can cancel all those subscriptions to newspapers, and quit relying on those idiots like Paul Finebaum, Cecil Hurt, Ian Rappaport, Randy Kennedy, and others who place their name and reputation on everything they write. We have our own rock solid source here who anyonymously writes articles on a blog, so who needs those fools? I’m especially impressed that no other sports writer in the country was able to uncover the “fact” that Fran missed practice and meetings that week, but you are able to scoop it!! I mean, it’s not like there would have been sports writers crawling all over the football facilities the week of the IB, so it’s easy to see how those unobservant writers would have failed to notice that the freakin’ head coach was strangely absent. Finally, your statement that Fran missed these practices and meetings because he personally involved in “negotiations” with A&M is where you really display your razor wit. See, there are these guys called “agents”. The reason coaches hire them is to do all the negotiations for them so the coach can truthfully tell the fans and media that he has not spoken with or been contacted by the other school. No, you would have us believe that Fran bypassed his agent and dealt directly with A&M himself during the week of the IB. Please, astound us with more “facts”.

    Cappy who the hell is this guy, your freakin’ retarded cousin? Did you lose a bet or something? Why are you letting him write on your blog? For God sakes, it’s fun to banter with you, and we all certainly spin and cherry pick our facts sometimes, but we don’t commit blatant fraud. At least teach the guy how to use google so he can check his facts a little before embarrasing the blog.

    I’m anxiously awaiting your next “article” intheknow. Maybe it will be about proving the existence of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.

  55. 66
    julio

    On final note to NYC – I don’t offer excuses for Bama winning 8 of 12 during the time period you speak of. Bama lined up and whipped AU’s a$$. Bebes was a damn fine coach who did a damn good job who laid a good foundation, and Dubose even managed to put together a couple of good teams with those players him and Logan Young “recruited”. See, I’m man enough to admit that rather than making up a bunch of excuses about Dye being on the way out the door, then probation, Bowden not recuiting, etc.. That’s all AU’s fault, and it’s part of football. You bammers are nothing but a bunch of crybabies who aren’t even man enough to admit when you get whipped.

    P.S. I’m “lowlife Opelika trailer trash” simply because I correctly point out some factual inaccuracies posted on this blog? Gettin’ a little touchy there, ain’t ya?

  56. 67
    intheknow72

    I’m sorry Felacio; did you write something?

    And losing by a touchdown is not getting whipped. At the depths of our existence these past ten years, that’s all you’ve been able to muster. What we did to you on the plains in 2001 was a whipping. The only thing you’re capable of whipping, Felacio, is your own monkey.

  57. 68
    intheknow72

    I just decided to read your post, for the heck of it. By the way, “imminent” has two m’s, and there is no such word as “anyonymously”. If I promise to check my facts better, will you promise to quit raping the King’s English?

    Since you rely on half truths and hype, you won’t get this. But the bit about the cousin’s yadda, yadda…not quite accurate. But then, what does accuracy matter, my Aubsessed little man? Just muddy the water with hyperbole and let the fun begin, right?

    I was off by a year, and I’m man enough to admit that. But the bit about Fran is just true. You don’t have to like it, and you sure don’t have to admit it. But it’s true. Thank you for explaining the whole agent phenomenon, Copernicus. But the point was, whether he was talking to TAMU himself (which I never said he was) or his agent, his mind was elsewhere.

    Okay, quickies…

    You’ve done more to puppies than we’re comfortable hearing about; please stop.

    Count to 3 to work at Krystal? “A” material, but if you would have said five I WOULD HAVE DIED!

    That bit about my cousin’s yadda, yadda…HILARIOUS! And original. Once again, muddy the waters so that truth gets watered down. Brilliant move, Obama.

    But my favorite is your appeals to Cappy. Pathetic.

    You lead the pack of Aubsessed Auburn fans, scurrying to your sticky keyboard to vomit up your next post. And each time, after reading them, we all walk away just a little bit dumber.

    Just ask yourself what keeps you coming back here? Save the “it’s just too easy” stuff. It’s predictable, and anyone who has read you knows you’re far from being an intellectual giant. What are you missing in your life that makes Auburn football your god?

  58. 69
    tmc1

    I think Julio said it best when he said

    he is “lowlife Opelika trailer trash”
    Julio… you’ve said it all.

  59. 70
    julio

    ok, one last post on this article.
    1. I point out several fabrications that you posted, and the best you can come back with is that I had 2 typo’s?
    2. Ummm, the phrase is the “Queen’s English”, not the “King’s English.” I guess they didn’t teach you that in deep fryer school.
    3. We’re all relieved that you’re man enough to “admit” that 1+2=3. For a minute there, I thought you were gonna fabricate an excuse for how 2002 actually was Saban’s 2d year at LSU the same way you do IB losses.
    4. Yes, Cappy’s retarded cousin, we all believe that you and your “sources” know better than Finebaum, Kennedy, Pruett, Barnhart, Maisel, Hurt, Dooley, etc. We truly believe that you were privy to information that they were not. What were the names of those “sources” who “testified” again? (btw, you do know that to testify means going on the record, right?)
    5. I keep coming back here because Cappy runs the best blog on the net for AU and UA to trade barbs back and forth. You do a great job, Cappy. Keep it up!!
    6. Finally, it takes too long to type Cappy’s Retarded Cousin. From this point forward, I will refer to you by the acronym “CRC”.

  60. 71
    intheknow72

    Felacio,

    Cappy does run a great blog, even with you here. I hope trading barbs is fun for you, because it is for me too. While we both tend to go for each other’s jugular on a daily basis now, I hope you know I’m just having fun with you. I’m sure you’re an okay person. You’re just another delusional, Aubsessed A-barn fan who thinks beating a weakened rival places them on the map of significance in history. Since everyone other than the Aubsessed nation knows you’re just the Clemson of the SEC (always good but never great), we can tolerate you on here. But just know that I don’t take any of this personally.

    Okay, now for the fun:

    Actually, either option (Queen or King) is readily accepted. Deep fryer school…there you go with the fast food jokes again. You’re throwing the high heat today! I wonder what will come first, the Apocalypse, or a post from you without a reference to Krystal or deep fryers…

    “2d” isn’t anything. “2nd” means “second”. You know, the best AU can expect to ever finish in the West. You’d think you’d have that one down by now.

    Why is it you only post during the day? Do you do this from work? Have they shut the power off to your trailer again? Who do I need to call to help you out?

    And you can call me CRC if you like, because I’m sure it’s just too embarrassing to call me daddy since I own you. I am under your skin like a rash. I can just see your red little face when I pull your pants down in front of everybody in here…again! I just wish it were harder to do. You make this too easy for me.

    When you begin to admit what everybody else on the planet readily accepts—that Auburn’s recent success in the Iron Bowl is a direct result of Alabama’s weakened state—then you can climb on your high horse and proclaim the tragedy of me getting a date wrong. A date? There’s a long term goal for you. But I digress…

    I guess the fact that A-barn has never experienced such a streak before in their 100 years of football leads you to believe that Auburn’s power was now something reckoned with. We who dwell in the shadow of truth tend to call it what it is: A good program barely edging a depleted one for six years. Which reminds me…one National Championship in over 100 years of football? Really?

    But once again, what are fact, Felacio? Why do I keep bothering you with them?

    Now quick! Say something about the LSU 2001 year thingy again! It’s gold, I tell you. Gold!

  61. 72
    intheknow72

    One last thing, Felacio; how old are you? I’m not sure I need to be abusing a minor like this.

  62. 73
    julio

    CRC, of course this is all in good fun and nothing personal to me. I have no doubt that you are actually a fine upstanding (an even educated) citizen. (Don’t deny me my fast food employment jokes, though. That can be some really good material). That should go to anyone who posts smack on this blog- if you can dish it out, you better be able to take it. You might want to go console tmc, though. He made a dumb-a$$ post earlier about Senderrick Marks and “white women”, so Ballplay and I had a liitle fun crucifying him as a racist in several posts afterwards. He got so uptight and defensive I thought he was gonna have a stroke.

    Alright, enough smack on this article. Let’s move on to something else.

  63. 75
    intheknow72

    Very well. You do make me have to think, which is much more than I can say about any other Aubie on here. I’ll see you somewhere else, I’m sure. Have a good weekend.

  64. 77
    Bill Ellis

    I’m UGA, Class of 1975. We’ve got our own Gators to fry, but I have to admit all of UGA’s rivalries (including the ancient Tech hatred) are little league compared to Auburn-Alabama. My son will be a freshman in the Auburn band this fall – I’ve spent the summer being introduced to everything Auburn. The Auburn folks won’t even use the term “Alabama” when speaking of the western side school. I’ve never had a better time than the Cocktail Party in Jacksonville, but I look forward to being in Tuscaloosa in November to witness the vitriol myself. War Eagle! (Tough for a Dawg to say that!)

  65. 78
    Ballplay Indian

    tmc1..If you cant see what is wrong with your comment , then you are black hole stupid. Let me ask you this. If you were in taco bell and saw Marks “lookin at white women”. Would you say Hey, hes lookin at white women. Hell no you wouldnt. Why ? Because you would get your ass stomped, thats why. Dont try to act like your comment was anything but what it was. A dummass bigoted comment. I realise that you were prolly just joking. But the damage control and denial just makes you look all the more ignorant. Dam man, buy a freekin clue and just say YOU were out of line, and quit bringin the crap up already. Just when I thought that bammers were evolving you manage to screw it up.

  66. 79
    Ballplay Indian

    Bill..Yall have to play the necks this year again. Youll get to see first hand what a bunch of bammers are like. The more you whip there ass , the worse they get. Good luck.

  67. 80
    sevenheaven

    Wow intheknow, you’ve put an awful lot of thought into the Auburn psyche. In fact, your column could be perceived as smoking-gun evidence of an “overwhelming obsession” with the six-year-running state champion you so hate.
    I think I understand, though. Your obsession with Auburn and its fans is a natural result of pulling for ‘bama as it spirals through the greatest downfall of a football powerhouse in CFB history. After hearing all those stories from grandpa about the “good ol’ days” of bama football, it must suck to have to tout your “recruiting championships” these days. (Have you guys printed a “National Champs” T-shirt for that yet?)
    I’ll say this — maybe your “Aubsession” term did apply to Auburn fans three decades ago, back when bama was nationally relevant every year and we consistently struggled for recognition. But that’s cool — we’ve come to expect bama fans to live in the past. Honestly, though — the tide has turned these days, wouldn’t you say?

  68. 82
    sevenheaven

    From intheknow’s original post:
    “There has long been a debate in this state over what is most important: your team winning, or your hated rival losing. Without question, the Auburn fan’s Aubsession zeroes in on Alabama losing.”

    So, capstoner, let’s re-examine the above statement. Which team among us can celebrate its own victories (the on-the-field ones) these days, and which is reduced to celebrating the other’s losses? I offer this as evidence:
    “Six year running state champion? ROFL

    I think MSU won the state title last year.

    Oh, and UGA…”

  69. 83
    Lifelongbamr

    This thread has been the most side splitting thing I have seen in some time. Can you Auburn fans possibly prove the point more thoroughly and not even seem to realize you are doing it.

    The fact that you are even here is strike one. I have never wasted 5 minutes of my precious time on a barn blog. But then you just keep posting this garbage. Ballplay Indian went into a full blown temper tantrum.

    It is like you can’t stop yourselves. What is the definition of the term obsessed…. I can’t stop myself.

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