Marshall visits the Capstone Report

By CapstoneReport.com‘s clever readers

We’ve been truly honored over the last week with many Auburn celebrities visiting our site. We were particularly honored by a visit last night from Phillip Marshall. We’ve culled the best of “his” posts for your reading pleasure. Notice how Phillip Marshall never misses a chance to pitch his book, or Tommy Tuberville.

Phillip Marshall
I was just surfing the Net and I came across this blog. I couldn’t help but notice that there isn’t enough glorification of Coach Tommy Tuberville.
Tommy Tuberville…..The Man….. The Myth….The Legend….destined to walk in the halls of Valhalla with the likes of Shug Jordan. While I am totally unbiased, It must be admitted that Tommy Tuberville, is an exciting, charismatic leader among men, who’s charm and attractive looks are only magnified when his taut, muscular, firm body glistens in the shower in the most manly way..

Anyhow, I also want to make it publicly known that when it comes to the heroic warrior scholars of Auburn University, or the drug dealing murdering scumbag Bammers. I call it straight down the middle and show absolutely NO FAVORITISM!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!

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Oh and before I forget. Tony Franklin is the greatest Offensive Coordinator in the history of the universe. And is magnificently endowed (with football knowledge).

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Did you know Pat Dye could urinate in a stream almost 40 feet? Or that Bo Jackson almost left Auburn until his salary was doubled? You can find out all of these super interesting facts and more in my coffee table sized book. “I’m Auburn’s Media Whore” (now available in soft back too….)

I am not showing any form of bias by saying this. (It isnt bias if it is true). But Jason Bosley should win on “character” alone. Plus he can single-handedly block entire defenses.


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Did you know that Doug Barfield owned three skunkskin caps? Or that Jordan Hare Dye field is on top of a sacred Indian burial ground? You can find out all of the super groovy facts (and more) in my coffee table book. “Auburn: God’s Team”

Did you know that Shug Jordan invented Preparation H? Or that Bo Jackson ran so fast one time that he went forward in time? You can get these stories and much more in my Coffee table book, “Auburn Univesity: The Real Deal”

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Did you know that Al Borges turned down the role of “Jabba the Hutt” in Star Wars? Or that Tony Franklin takes a bath once a month (whether he needs it or not)? You can read all these stories and more in my coffee table sized coffee table book “Auburn: Our Legacy is a Tradtion of Heritage”

FYI: For our Auburn readers, that wasn’t really Phillip Marshall; it was a very creative reader.

15 Comments

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  1. 3
    mike

    Thanks for posting, that was a funny read. Also, goes to prove my point that Auburn matters more to the Bammers than they will ever admit.

    War Damn Eagle-

  2. 4
    Kenny

    Mike,

    Do you see the irony in that statement? You are an Auburn fan on an Alabama blog, stating that Alabama fans only think about Auburn.

  3. 6
    mike

    Kenny-

    The difference is that I have never said that Bammer doesn’t matter!!! I will be the 1st to admit that every year when the schedule’s come out I circle 3 games…LSU, UGA and Bammer…then I go back and circle Bammer a few more times:)

    See, I have no problem admitting that I LOVE beating Bammer and it means something to me and every other Auburn fan I know!!! Is it more important than winning an SECC and NC? NO, but the chances of losing the last game of the year and still playing for an SECC or NC are slim….so it puts even more importance on the game!!

    On the other hand, most of the Bammers on here like to say that Auburn doesn’t matter…yet look at all the posts about Auburn. As I have said before…the TRUTH is hard to hide!!

    Cap-

    I don’t have enough time to write what I would like to write about PF nor would I give him the satisfaction.

    Cecil Hurt…I will have to admit that I like him and wish that Marshall would take a lesson or two from him. Cecil has his homer moments, but he has been known to speak the truth too. IMO he mixes it up enough that he is worth listening too.

  4. 7
    Kenny

    Mike,

    I can agree with you that Auburn is definitely relevant. If it was not relevant, than the Iron Bowl would not be the best rivalry in college football.

    Your comment was just odd in the fact that the post was meant as humor. It seemed like you were being the person who was looking to be offended.

  5. 9
    mike

    Kenny-

    Not sure how I seemed offended…I said it was a funny read.

    If I did come off as offended…well, I am not. As I said, it was very funny!!

    I just hope for the sake of this site that Marshall doesn’t retire and Tubby goes on his duck hunt again this year!!!

  6. 10
    Kevin

    Capstone,

    You seem to have a serious man-crush on Marshall. Is there something you need to tell us?

  7. 12
    phillipmarshall

    Thank you Cap for understanding and conceding the fact that much like my books on the history and culture of Auburn Universtiy, I am a fascinating read.
    But there are several things I wish to clear up on my post today…
    1. The NCAA is not interested in our fine independant study programs at Auburn.
    2. I AM NOT GAY! And my interests in Tommy Tuberville and Tony Franklin (System.com) are only meant in the manliest of ways. Because we (the three of us) are the epitome of the term “Auburn men”. Tommy Tuberville and Tony Franklin are of such enigmatic genius, the only means I can think of that might describe their intellect might be an interpretive dance. (But that doesnt mean I am gay.)
    3. In my humble and unbiased opinion, I believe that Coach Tommy Tuberville is a great American Icon. The real secret truth why Tommy Tuberville went Duck hunting during the recruiting season was because there was a terrible flock of rabid ducks in Arkansas. And CTT (he loves it when I call him that.) Was once again, doing his part to save his fellow man by shooting these menace ducks.
    4.Finally, I can assure you all that I have nothing but the utmost respect for Nick Satan (oops.. Saban), and the toothless inbred morons who call themselves Bama Nation.
    5. Auburn and Tommy Tuberville are destined for greatness, read my book and my blog to find out why.
    5. Alabama cheats.
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    Did you know I am running out of worthless trivial factoids about Lee County? Or that the 1983 Auburn offensive line practiced by tipping cows? You can read these stories in my new dinner table coffee book “Auburn, School of Glory”

  8. 13
    Kevin

    “phillipmarshall,”

    It’s a fact well know to all that Alabama cheats. And there are plenty of cows to tip in T-town — they’re calling sorority girls.

  9. 14
    Tucker

    Kevin,

    Obviously, you are a rival fan so why do you spend so much time on a Bama website “commenting”?

    Yes, it’s a free country, but I cannot for the life of me imagine going to an Auburn website and commenting on their stories or posts – although, I never had a big brother, so I have no point of reference.

  10. 15
    tmc1

    Kevin,
    By the way…..does Auburn still have that problem with the Auburn Cheerleaders grazing on the field at the Jordan Hare Dye Jungle before the games?

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