Witch-slapped

N o respect. No respect at all…for Tommy Tuberville. Even women’s gymnastic coaches make fun of Tuberville’s failures. Take this comment from UGA’s eight-time national title winner Suzanne Yoculan:

“You should have seen that list of the top 10 coaches in the SEC in that Alabama newspaper,” Yoculan says, referring to a list by a Mobile Press-Register columnist. “I’m No. 10. (Football coach) Tommy Tuberville of Auburn is No. 9. How many national championships has he won?”

Ouch. Witch-Slapped.

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When a women’s gymnastics coach takes away your manhood by exposing your shortcomings—that has to hurt!

How long until your fans are saying the same thing?

Is South Florida on the schedule again this year?

How many days until Nick Saban beats Tommy Tuberville? How many days until Marc Richt extends his dominance of AU for another season?

Tuberville’s support is as fragile as his ego.

But hey, maybe Charles Goldberg or Philip Marshall can spin this.

By the time these two buffoons get done with it, Yoculan will be calling Tuberville the greatest football coach since…

Well, I’m not as creative at AU propaganda. I’ll leave it to the professionals.

16 Responses to “Witch-slapped” Subscribe

  1. mike April 24, 2008 at 12:27 pm #

    Cap-

    Don’t kid yourself…you are very creative!!!

    How long before the Auburn fans are saying the same thing? Well, probably not too much longer. IMO Tubby’s undefeated season in 2004 will not buy him too much more time. Isn’t that funny? I always hear from the Bammers that Auburn only cares about beating Bammer!!! Back to 2004, even though Tubby and Auburn didn’t get a shot at the NC…I think a lot of Auburn fans see the undefeated season as a big accomplishment since Saban, Miles and Meyer have not been able to accomplish that. I am not one of those fans…I would rather have what the 3 above have!!! As for Tubby, I don’t think he has to win a NC to buy more time, but definitely an SECC.

    No, USF is not on the schedule next year. Speaking of schedules..is ULM on Bammer’s schedule?

    Not sure how many days will pass before Saban beats Tubby, but I think the last time it happened was 2003. As for Richt, he has pretty much owned Auburn. Guess Richt is to Auburn what Tubby is to Bammer:)

    As for what UGA’s women’s volleyball coach wants to call Tubby…I could honestly care less. On the bright side, if she hadn’t made the comment…what would you have to write about?

    On a side note, I saw that some minor league team in Pa named Saban “Tool of the Year”. Tell him congrats…any press is good press!!!!

  2. APIRODEOHATER April 24, 2008 at 12:57 pm #

    To even consider Tuberville as a top 15 caliber coach is absurd.

    1) Only one SEC championship in 14 years.

    2) NO national championships in 14 years of coaching in the SEC.

    3) One undefeated season, though needless to say the facts state the team was both overrated and irrelevant at the same time.

    4) The coach was on death row up until his fatherly program went on a 5 year hiatus.

    5) The only honorably notable success Tubby has achieved a 7-2* record against Alabama while coaching at Alabama Polytechnic Institute.

    *Five wins occurring while Alabama was performing under severe NCAA sanctions.

    This “coach” was joke up until his successfully managed to fill Alabama’s void courtesy of the NCAA. All he did was basically flip-flop the state for a brief period in time. Other than that, he’s your typical Ole Miss caliber coach who, without the luxury of taking advantage of one particular teams’ weakened state, only manages to win one, two at the max games each season.

    That’s Tubby in a nutshell.

  3. mike April 24, 2008 at 2:04 pm #

    APIRODEOMULLET-

    1) I agree, 1 conference championship in 13 years is not very impressive. Saban’s 2 conference championship’s in 12 years is much much more impressive!!!

    2) I agree, 0 NC’s in 13 years is not very impressive. Saban’s 1 in 12 years is much much more impressive!!!

    3) Overrated? In 2004 Tubby and Auburn beat 5 Top 10 teams. Irrelevant? Well, that is your Bammer opinion. I would have to say that starting the season at #18 (which was their own fault after 2003) and having to schedule the Citadel after another opponent cancelled in June is what cost AU and Tubby a shot at the NC.

    4) Death row until his fatherly program went of a 5 year hiatus? That’s pretty funny!!! Guess Tubby better thank his daddy.

    5) Well, I think Auburn and Tubby are in the Top 5 or 6 most successful programs over the last 4 years and I think they have only played Bammer once per year.

    *When will the probation excuse end?

    I agree..Tubby is a joke!!! Saban’s winning percentage (67) is much much more impressive than Tubby’s (70).

    Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer-

  4. APIRODEOHATER April 24, 2008 at 3:42 pm #

    Mike,

    What kind of brain-cell damaging chemicals do they mix in with the manure down in redneck capital USA? Obviously they’ve given you a double-dose of their own brand–or your own brand.

    1) Saban won HIS FIRST SEC title in his second season at LSU. How many years and what did it take for Tubberedneck to win his first?

    2) Saban won his FIRST BCS title (and second SEC title) in his THIRD season at LSU. Tuberville will be going into his fourteenth season as an SEC head coach and he’s YET to win anything legitimately larger than the Opelika Farmer’s Market trophy.

    3) -You cheated to defeat NICK SABAN’S LSU squad by one lousy point. You struggled to defeat an NCAA and injury beleaguered Mike Shula led Alabama squad, not to mention 5 of our starting offensive players were out injured, and we had a third string quarterback (baseball player) taking the snaps for us. And last but not least, Virginia Tech kept you on your hands and knees until the end of the game. Now, was this team relevant enough to surpass OU in the polls? Absolutely not!

    4) I strongly concur with you on this stat. After all, we’ll never forget jet gate. Tuberedneck had better thank more than just Alabama; he should bow down to Logan Young, Phil Fulmer, and Albert Means–the three job savers.

    5) I believe Tuberedneck and the Alabama Polytechnic Institute Cowgirls are the state’s most elite football program in recent years. I also know for a fact, the team who was beaten and bruised by the strong arm of the law handed that position to them on a golden dish. It’s not everyday you just suddenly start one-upping a team in talent and recruiting, after the team had owned you on that same field for many consecutive years, while that certain team you’re one-upping is limited to who it can recruit and factor in all the many top-tier recruits we lost due to NCAA sanctions.

    You call PROBATION an excuse? I, as well as any typical football fan outside of Opelika, Alabama, with more than half a brain calls it a fact. After all, you don’t just WIN A GRAND TOTAL OF FOUR OUT OF TWELVE IRON BOWLS, and suddenly win the next six, ironically enough, AFTER your opposing team lost a myriad of scholarships, key recruits, the departing of a decent coach, and injuries to your key starting players all throughout the peak of your monumental streak.

    And let’s compare the two Jokers, Saban and Tubby. Saban has coached in the SEC for a total of six seasons. His overall record for those six seasons are 55-21. In Tubby’s first six years, he compiled an incomparable and astonishing record of 39-26. And as was said, Saban won 2 SEC titles and 1 BCS title during those six years. Tuberedneck never had a winning record in the SEC up until his sixth year.

    How impressive? It’s almost as impressive as being one of the only SEC schools to feature 70% of a student body being rednecks, rodeos, mud riding, cow pastures, chicken houses, horribly off key country music bands in one of your town’s five bars, more trailer parks on one road than in the entire south combined, “mudcat” lakes, and discount sales on street legal monster trucks!!! There’s no place like AUFARM!!! No place at all!!!!

  5. TiderInsider April 24, 2008 at 4:21 pm #

    API HATER, You also forgot to note that “Tubberneck” only won one bowl game out of two attempts in his first six seasons as an SEC head coach.

    MIKE, As far as an overall winning percentage goes, your facts are somewhat inaccurate… Tuberville has been an NCAA head coach for two years longer than Saban has. His record is 105-53. Saban’s is 99-48. Why didn’t your ‘facts’ tell us that?

  6. mike April 24, 2008 at 5:16 pm #

    APIRODEOMULLET-

    1) Saban’s 1st coaching gig wasn’t LSU. If we are going to compare coaches then let’s compare coaches. Ole Miss and Mich State are on the same playing field so if you are going to talk about coaching careers…Saban’s didn’t start at LSU.

    2) See #1

    3) Cheating, injuries, blah, blah, blah. Is your middle name “excuses”?

    4) Thanks Bammer, Fulmer and Fat Albert for saving Tubby’s job!!!

    5) So, what you are saying is that before the last 6 IB’s Bammer dominated Auburn? Not sure when you were born, but in the 29 years I have been alive that has not been the case!!

    Again, Saban’s coaching career did NOT start at LSU.

    As for the rest of you post…you are entitled to your own opinion of Auburn students. I have stooped to your level and bashed Bammers, but I have moved on. I will leave you with this fact:

    Auburn has higher academic requirements than Alabama.

    Tider-

    I don’t remember using the word “fact” when giving the winning %’s for Tubby and Saban, but what does that really matter. FYI, I got Tubby and Saban’s coaching records from Wikipedia and you are correct…I was wrong (looked at the wrong line).

    Tubby’s winning % is 66
    Saban’s winning % is 67.

    Saban’s winning % is still much much more impressive than Tubby’s:)

  7. mike April 24, 2008 at 5:23 pm #

    Tider-

    Almost forgot…

    Saban has been a college football HC for 12 years:

    Toledo (1)
    Mich St (5)
    LSU (5)
    Bammer (1)

    Tubby has been a college Football HC for 13 years:

    Ole Miss (4)
    Auburn (9)

    Not sure where you went to school, but at Auburn 13-12=1 (I am really going to regret that if I am wrong!!!)

  8. Christopherson April 24, 2008 at 7:11 pm #

    In response to the topic, Tuberville’s days are numbered, not through the eyes of an Alabama fan, but through the eyes of his very own barnie family. (Saban Effect)

    Deep down inside, he knows this and regardless as to whether barnie family will publicly admit this or not, they know it as well. (Saban Effect)

    He had an extremely close call last season, and potentially managed to salvage his career at Opelika Tech by upsetting the Gators for the second consecutive season. Over half of the avid barnie nation began to open their cross-eyed eyes and seriously reflected upon his career and suddenly reality struck them like lightening (Saban Effect). Furious barnies rapidly posted ridiculous Tuberville hate messages; the incoherent barnies invaded the Finebaum network calling for his head; and needless to say after the Mississippi State loss, the 2,000 fans who departed from their Wire Road trailers to attend the game, booed and shouted harsh obscenities at Tuberville; a http://firetommytuberville.org site was even created (At least one barnie has enough sense to realize Tuberville wasn’t the reason API underwent a serious facelift from 2002-present time). (Saban Effect) After the miraculous turnaround, the barnie family courteously and gracefully extended their patience, slightly. Now Tuberville is skating on thin ice with the barnie family.

    After suffering Tuberville’s first miserable recruiting season since before the downfall of Alabama, the barnie patience is growing ever thinner and thinner by the day. (Saban Effect)

    Opelika will be in contention to win the West next year, and I firmly believe they’ll beat Alabama by a hair once again (like the previous two meetings, we’ll find a crucial way to give the game away). That will ease the minds of the barnie family, and buy Tuberville more time than he can handle; however, there’s a storm brewing over outside of the city of Opelika, and in a matter of only another year or so (after Tuberville’s first Iron Bowl loss) he’s in for a rude awakening.

    I can recall when barnies had their brief stint over a steadily growing UGA team. I can recall the barnies throwing up similar garbage as to what they’re throwing at us. What happened? UGA has not only shut Opelika fans up, they’ve nearly slapped them back in their place. Now before long, Alabama will do the same, and we will all live happily ever after, over and over again!

  9. Kenny April 24, 2008 at 8:21 pm #

    Mike,

    Saban actually has won 3 BCS conference titles (1 Big 10 and 2 SEC). He also won a MAC title at Toledo for whatever that is worth. By the way you were right about Saban coaching for 12 years too.

    I would actually agree that Tuberville is a top 15 coach. I think he is an arrogant jack ass, but he has had some pretty good accomplishments over the years. He has always been competitive, and has fielded some really good teams. I think the reason he gets underrated is that outside of the 2004 season he has been unable to put together another great season. If you are being objective I would think you would have to believe that he would have to have a few more SEC titles to move up into the upper echelon of coaches.

    Capstone,

    I loved the quote. You have had some of your best stuff the last few days.

  10. TiderInsider April 24, 2008 at 8:43 pm #

    Forgive me, Mike, I had forgotten Saban once coached at Toledo.

    That’s my mistake. I take the full blame for that incident.

  11. mike April 25, 2008 at 7:56 am #

    Kenny-

    You are right that Saban and Toledo were co-champs of the Mid-American Conference in his 1 year there. I did not see where he won a Big 10 title, but he was 9-2 his last year at MSU.

    I agree 100% that Tubby needs a few SEC titles and probably another serious run at a NC to be considered upper echelon. I also agree that he is a top 15 coach.

    Also, there is no doubt that Saban is a great coach…IMO a lot of Bammers just try and make him out to be great and IMO he is not great. He is a great recruiter, but he has had the same problem as Tubby when it comes to losing games that he should have won. At MSU, he had 1 good season and at LSU he had 1 really good season. During his other 4 seasons at LSU he lost at least 3 games every year…IMO that us pretty much identical to Tubby.

    Tider-

    I forgive you..we all make mistakes:)

    Christopherson-

    I’ll inform everyone in Opelika that our days are numbered and that there’s a storming brewing!!! Thanks for the warning-

  12. mike April 25, 2008 at 9:36 am #

    Kenny-

    I meant to say that there is no doubt that Saban is a very good coach, but IMO he is not great.

  13. 007 April 25, 2008 at 12:57 pm #

    “I meant to say that there is no doubt that Saban is a very good coach, but IMO he is not great.”

    What makes you think Tuberville is any better?

    With great respect (not intending on falling into a duel of insults with you the way everyone else on here is), Tuberville had one standout victory over Shula, and that was in 2005. Other than that, every other win was won in a lackluster fashion, and Shula had every opportunity to win those games.

    Now is Shula a better coach than Saban? No, absolutely not. Don’t get me wrong, I thank Shula for what he wanted to do, and tried to do, but despite the fact he was a “spur the moment hire” he still had no business head coaching at a big time university like Alabama.

    That’s why we feel comfortable with Saban at the helm of our program. Whether he rights the ship or not, he’s a proven winner and there’s no doubt he’ll do any worse than Fran, Shula, or Dubose done. But there’s a high chance he’ll do much better, and I’ll bank on that.

  14. mike April 28, 2008 at 11:29 am #

    007-

    First, I appreciate the fact that your post lacked insults. I have been just as guilty as some of the others on this site when it comes to insults, but I am done being childish and idiotic.

    To answer your question…I have never said that Tubby was any better than Saban. MY reason for listing career coaching records was to show that IMO they are pretty much on the same level. Saban does have a NC on his resume, but Tubby has an undefeated season. Granted, AU didn’t get to play for a NC, but that is irrelevant when evaluating coaches.

    AS for Tubby’s victories against UA…I don’t ONLY judge him on victories against UA. I look at Tubby’s record against all SEC teams and Top 10 opponents and there is no arguing that he has been very successful against both!!!

    Tubby’s biggest problem is that he seems to lose some games every year that he should win….much like Saban.

    Honestly, I think Saban will right the UA ship and I feel that he already has it headed in the right direction. I just don’t see them dominating Auburn or the SEC, which is where a lot of Bammers and I disagree.

  15. jerryl hyche April 30, 2008 at 2:26 pm #

    IF MIKE PRICE HAD NOT SELF DESTRUCTED, YOU BAMMERS WOULD BE RANTING AND WAVING YOUR ARMS AND DRIPPING HONEY ALL OVER HIM. YOU T##DHEADS THINK ANYTHING AT UAT IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING AT ANY OTHER SCHOOL. GET OVER IT. UAT IS AN AVERAGE SCHOOL WITH AN AVERAGE FOOTBALL PROGRAM, TO SAY THE LEAST. “PROBATION JUST KILLED US” WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! LISTENING TO YOU JERKS MAKE YOU BELIEVE THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS BEEN CRIPPLED DUE TO PROBATION OR SCHOLARSHIP LIMITATIONS. YOU PEOPLE CONTINUE TO LIVE IN THE PAST. YOU SQUALL ABOUT THE SENTENCE YOU HAD TO SERVE (BY THE WAY, YOU WERE GUILTY AS HELL)AND THE MYSTERIOUS TWELVE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS. ALL IN THE PAST

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