Thank God for Mississippi

By Hunter Ford

Random thoughts from last weekend:
So, they throw whiskey bottles in Oxford too? Does anybody remember the old saying “Thank God for Mississippi?” It derives from the thought that, whatever Alabama might rank next to last in, Mississippi was surely to rank dead last. These were usually non-sports related categories having to do with quality of education and so forth.

I suppose Alabama should be thankful for the Ole Miss students who proved Alabama is not the only school in the South with a “loaded” student section, ready to unleash an arsenal of flying liquor bottles at opposing teams.

As competitive as the series with Ole Miss has been in recent years, Alabama’s all-time record against the Rebels is tilted heavily in the Tide’s favor. Bama has won the past three games and has lost less than a dozen times in a series of about 60 games.

I had some friends that attended Ole Miss in the late 1980s. My former high school buddies enjoyed some good seasons with Coach Billy Brewer during those years, but in the years prior to Brewer and after the legendary Johnny Vaught, Ole Miss rarely won.

My friends said there was a modified “Hoddie Toddie” cheer being used while they were freshman, before Brewer had some success.

It went: “Hoddie Toddie, Gosh Almighty, When’s Ole Miss Gonna Beat Somebody?”

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Going back to Mississippi being last in categories where Alabama might be next to last…Mississippi is ahead of us in Casino gambling. I’m not saying that is good or bad…just a fact. I was at the Silver Star/Golden Moon resort over the weekend (for educational purposes). There were a few fellow Alabama fans trying their luck. But I was overwhelmed at the number of Tennessee fans at the gambling venue.

The Hillbillies were enjoying their victory over Mississippi State in Starkville. And everywhere I turned, those loud-ass orange shirts were every bit as overwhelming as the constant buzz and jangle of the slot machines. I don’t know what to make of this either…just an observation.

If you want to see commentary about Rush Propst and the Hoover High School investigation go to

Now for something completely different:

There’s another controversy going on in Hoover dealing with a store called Love Stuff that sells sex toys. The city of Hoover is suing the store and trying to put it out of business. Apparently the modest city leadership doesn’t think the good people of Hoover ought to be playing with sex toys. But where will Rush do his Christmas shopping?

Anyway, I wrote an article about Love Stuff and the lawsuit with the city for the Hoover Gazette. Unfortunately, the Gazette’s web site doesn’t exist anymore. I was hoping to pull up my old article and link it over here. I did a lot of research for that article, and was pleased with it…even got several e-mails about it.

Since I can’t get it online anymore, I won’t bother to reinvent the wheel and recreate it in full.

I do believe that Love Stuff has the better case legally and will stay in business.

While the sale of sex toys is technically illegal in Alabama, there is a large loophole that allows their sale for “medicinal or therapeutic purposes.” Love Stuff now asks customers to sign a waiver saying that the customer is buying the toys for “medicinal or therapeutic purposes.”

The only way the sale would be illegal would be in a circumstance where the customer blatantly states he or she is not going to use the product in a “therapeutic way”… “Therapeutic” being so broad it is almost impossible to say that any sexual stimulation could not be somehow…someway, construed as therapeutic. If laughter is the best medicine, sex is probably in the top five.

Here is how a sale would be illegal. A guy comes in to buy a toy…Love Stuff asks him to sign the waiver…he says “no I’m not buying this for myself, it is a gag gift for a bachelor party.” Can’t do that.

Otherwise, who is to say that the guy is not going to use the toy for some “therapeutic” purpose?

Closing random thoughts:

They say swimming with dolphins can relieve stress. That’s called a “Therapeutic Porpoise”

A guy is sitting next to a lady on an airplane trip. The lady keeps sneezing. After every time she sneezes she shudders and moans “ohhhhhh yeah.”

They guy says to the lady “You have a strange sneeze!”

The lady says, “I have a rare medical condition. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.”

The guy says. “That’s weird! What do you take for that?” BLACK PEPPER says the lady.

I heard that last joke told by legendary Alabama football broadcaster Doug Layton at a Quarterback Club meeting. ROLL TIDE! … Stay inbounds and…Kick those Hillbillies where their Moon Shines!