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Bama faces biggest test of 2014 from state of Mississippi

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That sound you hear isn’t thunder. It’s the distant rumbling of a battle that will soon take place in the near future. The 2014 Alabama Crimson Tide faces its biggest test soon, and this year that test isn’t LSU or Auburn. It’ll come from across state lines.

When Mississippi State comes to Tuscaloosa November 15.

Oh, you thought I was talking about Ole Mi$$?

Well, the Tide does tangle with the most racist member of the Southeastern Conference this Saturday. A bunch given to the notion of really neat-o tailgating, mainly because historically that’s all they’ve had to cling to.

I promise you this makes me laugh every time I see it.
There once was an amazing miracle involving just two fish and five loaves feeding 5,000 men. But Ole Miss has miraculously lived off of one good year and two Mannings at quarterback, feeding their fanbase for a lifetime.

Speaking of quarterbacks, if there is a more overplayed, overhyped quarterback than Bo Wallace I would love to see him. The guy defines the word average, but due to a lack of talent has been catapulted to stardom in a place that once called Jevon Snead the second coming.

There is one reason last year’s game in Tuscaloosa was as close as it was…a 25-point Bama shutout. His name is Doug Nussmeier, the former offensive coordinator at the Capstone. Nuss was kindly shown the backdoor after number two-ing all over himself in last year’s Iron Bowl, and is now clinging to the sinking ship we call Michigan football. Lack of offensive production in Ann Arbor surprises no one in Crimson. In tight games Bama’s offense had the creativity of a CPA’s arts and crafts class.

Enter Lane Kiffin, who has looked brilliant so far this season. Kiffin has been the shot in the arm the Alabama offense has needed for years. The man who made Jonathan Crompton look like Peyton Manning is making Blake Sims look like Russell Wilson. It’s an amazing thing when an OC actually puts the ball in the hands of playmakers, and my gosh does Alabama have playmakers.

Also, while it’s hard to fear the Nick Saban vs. Mater matchup, it’s actually impossible. When I think of Nick Saban and co. squaring off against Hugh Freeze, I honestly picture me wrestling with my 6-year-old nephew. It’s cute at first, but if I don’t pull back somebody is gonna get hurt.

The biggest threat the Black Bear Rebel Thingies pose this Saturday is the atmosphere Bama will be walking into. Very few times in these Bama players’ career will they have had to go up against 46,000 screaming opposing fans. It’s usually closer to 100,000, so the differential may be somewhat disorienting at first.

Ole Miss head coach Hugh Freeze
As I write this Bama is a 5-point favorite in the match-up. And if you want to pay off your mortgage, take that line RIGHT NOW. It will move up as the week goes on. The team that struggled with Memphis is going to have their minds blown by this Crimson Tide team. If Ole Miss’ offense wasn’t so pedestrian, there’d be reason for concern. I had someone ask me who among the Tide’s DBs could cover Treadwell for the Black Bear Rebel Thingies. My response? All of them, because Ole Miss doesn’t have a QB who can deliver it to him in the face of real SEC pressure. Wallace’s delivery in the pocket is as swift as a glacier.

The Ole Miss defense is salty, I will give you that…but it has the depth of a kiddy pool. If it’s any indication, they lost a starter last game and replaced him with a transfer from FIU.

Ole Miss fan, I know you want to think that Boise or Memphis were real barometers for your team…not to mention a Vandy team that Kentucky abused…but in all honesty Florida would beat Mississippi by 2 touchdowns. Along those lines, it’s too bad your Black Bear Rebel Thingies don’t compete in the SEC East, because that’s the only way you’re getting to Atlanta. You haven’t been yet…in the 22 year history of the SEC Championship Game…and you’re not going this year.

All you’ll hear this week is how hyped the Ole Miss fans and team will be for this game, but for a team who’s never “been there” or “done that,” expect more of the same on Saturday. Ole Miss fans are no stranger to the concept of owning another person, which is why it shouldn’t bother them that Alabama owns their Black Bear Rebel Thingies. A series record like 51-8-2 speaks volumes, with win number 11 in row coming in just a few more days.

Ole Miss is an improved team, and definitely heading in the right direction. But only similar to me saying that 10 paces out my front door toward the west is me heading in the right direction toward California. There’s just too far to go, and not enough time to get there between now and this weekend.

Bama big in Oxford this Saturday.

(Follow ITK on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)

31 thoughts on “Bama faces biggest test of 2014 from state of Mississippi”

  1. Wow. What a douche you are. Thankfully I’ve got some good news for you. The Bear is dead. I’m sure you poured out an Old Milwaukee in his honor in January.

      1. Thank you for pointing that out. You’re obviously setting the world on fire yourself.

        Seriously, you really put me in my place. Very well done. I’m patting you on the back. Many compliments. They’re totally in earnest. No, seriously, you really… and so on and so forth.

        This article was not worth me actually using my brain to come up with something more clever. It wouldn’t surprise me though, if it was written by the Alabama fan who threatened his son’s life over using the car after a loss to Arkansas a few years back, or the Alabama fan who shot an Auburn fan after the Iron Bowl loss last year, or the Alabama fan who teabagged an LSU fan at a Krystal in New Orleans. Maybe the author is Harvey after poisoning the trees in Auburn, or maybe it’s just Phyllis from Mulga.

        Don’t forget. The Bear is dead. Rahl Todd.

        1. Now you’re deflecting to the fringe fans?


          I have to assume that’s what people who fly planes into skyscrapers think “all Americans” are like, just like you’re doing.

          Perhaps the saddest reality is those anti-Americans are literally more accurate than your allegation is per-capita regarding those fringe Alabama fans.

          Then again, we’re way more popular than Ole Miss, so it’s a natural side effect. But good grief.

          1. “Well, the Tide does tangle with the most racist member of the Southeastern Conference this Saturday.”

            I’m sorry, you were saying? Oh, that’s right.

            “I have to assume that’s what people who fly planes into skyscrapers think “all Americans” are like, just like you’re doing.”

            You’re proving the point I was trying to make. Thanks.

  2. Thank God I don't live in Alabamer

    Lol if you think we’re the most racist school in the SEC you need to walk around alabamer’s campus
    Pathetic article and attempt at humor. It’s just a game douchebag. Why the need to get so personal and act like a 10 year old? Total fail here buddy but nice try

  3. Last time I checked, it was a Bummer sorority chick that was hurling racial slurs in the social media. That’d be in Alabama not Mississippi.

  4. For someone from Bama to call any other state “racist” is certainly ironic. The last time I drove through Alabama there were more rebel flags on display than at Gettysburg than at Gettysburg. The only non-racist in your state in the 60’s was Forrest Gump, and to this day he is the only one that was likeable.

    Go teabag someone who hasn’t passed out and let them knock your other tooth out, cracker.

      1. “sure do wish y’all were won.”

        Let me guess. You’re the type that says “I’d like you to meet my wife and sister.” And there’s one woman there. Not a thumb between y’all. What’s your family tree? A stump?

        Ah, wait, you may be the guy around the Selma area that said “That thing you said about your daddy not (expletive)ing you. You made that up, right?”

        FYI, last time I was in Alabama, found myself at a truck stop. Asked for a coffee. Cashier asked if I wanted the 32 ounce or the large. I asked how big the large was. The reply?

        “You’re gonna wanna pull your car around back. I’m gonna start da pump.”

        Seriously, evolution didn’t end with growing opposable thumbs. What am I saying? Y’all need to catch up already. Grow them. Please.

        1. Actually, I live in upstate South Carolina.

          I’m sorry for the typo. I’m truly, truly sorry. So sorry. Sorry.

          My wife is from Nebraska. We’re going from the game Saturday to the beach for our anniversary.

          I’m guessing you’ve never actually been to Alabama, though. That’s a shame.

          The Grove is great. Every time I’ve been there though the fans party like they have nothing to lose. Now they’re undefeated and have everything to lose and a ton of hype, plus a QB in his final chance to beat Alabama, all while College Gameday comes to town for the first time ever. I’ll be there at dawn. Can’t wait—-I haven’t been back to Ole Miss since the Shula days.

          And I still wish Ole Miss had won the rights to use Admiral Ackbar as their mascot. Then again, Ole Miss just doesn’t win anything. Here’s hoping the Admiral shows up at Gameday this weekend at least…

          1. Quote of the day:

            “And I still wish Ole Miss had won the rights to use Admiral Ackbar as their mascot. Then again, Ole Miss just doesn’t win anything.”

            Classic. Well done “Nope”.

        2. @Doesn’t Matter

          For your sake, I wish what you just wrote was either clever or humorous. That it is neither, but instead just a failed attempt at humor, just makes me a little sad. I have a feeling you’ve come to terms with the term “stag” in your lifetime.

    1. I will as soon as I get a break from hanging up all the scores in my office from our last ten wins over your wretched school IN A ROW.

      1. Replying to being called ignorant by pointing to your team’s football superiority.

        You realize the success of a team you pull for on the football field does not increase your own academic knowledge or overall intelligence, right?

        Wait, you’re an Alabama fan. That was a dumb question on my part. You all equate wins with intelligence or at the very least a connection to the school many of you either did not attend/could not get into.

        Rahl Todd.

        1. @Doesn’t matter

          Allow me to translate for you:

          “Hi, I’m an Ole Miss fan. I can’t compete with you in arenas that are widely accepted as relevant, so I’ll create a pocket for myself where I set the rules that allows me be a big boy for once.”

          Enjoy loss #11 in a row this Saturday. I know I will.

    1. Whore’s have difficulty with many things,……one being making snide comments while their asses are over their heads. Hello Ho.

    2. Not so fast, @WhoreEagle: These appear to have all been written by the same person. I’m thinking it’s probably either Freezus or one of the grad assistants that has been assigned the task of defending the honor of the Black Bear Thingie nation. I’m facinated that anyone from Mississippi could manage to put all the letters in the right places in all their words. Grammer was a little weak, but, you know, it is Mississippi, after all. To them, Grammer is the one buried out under the big white oak in the backyard, and was married to Gramps.

      1. Good grief. If you’re going to use such an advanced word while insulting those of us with roots in Mississippi, at least have the decency to spell the (bleep)ing word correctly.

        It’s grammAr. Yes, there’s an A there, not an E. Grammar.

        Further, it’s fascinated with an S, Not facinated.

        It’s cute that you’re trying to insult Mississippi with claims the state is lacking in the three Rs, but honestly, whenever I read of a power outtage in Alabama I usually find myself wondering, “Who would know?”

        You must be really excited that dialup was finally introdused to your area.

        Rahl Todd.

        1. Too bad you are from Mississippi and are not allowed to make fun of other states. When you do, it is humorous …..and sad.

          Has Mississippi ever finished first in something that isn’t a negative category?

          I guess the biggest question is…..Why are Alabama fans even arguing with Ole Miss fans? When was the last time Ole Miss was actually relevant? How many times has Alabama actually lost to Ole Miss?

          1. Ole Miss was allowed to take a gasp of air back in 2003, beating Alabama for the lone time then since 1988. So, I’d say 2003, or eleven years ago, was their last taste of relevance.

            But you have to admit, it IS cute when they get all hot and bothered and think they’re something again.

        2. @Doesn’t Matter

          There’s nothing funnier than a poster calling someone out for misspelling words while having two of their own in the mix.


          I honestly thank you. A person from Mississippi just shouldn’t talk, ever. To anyone. About anything.

  5. Man, I thought Auburn’s culture was good at immediately deflecting to Alabama and chants of “what are your crimes!”

    But this… Wow.

    I respect Ole Miss. But this was fun to read. And it’s a perfect example of what other sports sites can’t say.

    Have fun, people. The football season is already almost half over. Lighten up. Alabama will probably lose a football game this year. For some, that’s their idea of fun. For us, on a Monday, it’s reading what Alabama will hopefully do to Ole Miss in the next football game.

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