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Shane: Clowns to the left – Jokers to the right

By Shane from Centerpoint

Let me get straight to the point: we’re not quite two months into 2009 and we’ve seen and heard some really bizarre behavior by people in positions of power within the sports world, particularly around a certain Southeastern Conference football program.

Southern gridiron fans love to watch off-season meltdowns and lately, new Tennessee Vols head coach Lane Kiffin has put himself in charge of providing the entertainment. Some say that Knoxville has become a circus since Kiffin stepped off the Big Orange jet. After watching him become a laughing stock by bungling NCAA rules, and hearing him make immature public comments, it appears that AD Mike Hamilton might’ve accidentally hired “Captain Clown”.

I have to give young Kiffin some credit for being bold (and perhaps stupid) enough to go after the top two “real” head coaches in the SEC right out off the chute.

Just recently, Lane had to be spanked by the SEC Commissioner for his comments, when he embarrassed himself by falsely accusing Florida coach Urban Meyer of cheating. Quite frankly, I think he comes off like a teenager. I’m sure rational fans around the Vol Nation are mystified by his actions.

Kiffin has become an Internet star – strutting around on the stage with the cameras on, letting his mouth write a check his tail can’t cash.
Football fans across the South are rolling on the floor as they watch this Bozo stumble out of the blocks.

And if the Florida disaster wasn’t enough, during the now infamous speech, the man picked to lead Tennessee back to the front of the pack also allowed a former Alabama assistant coach to pop-off his mouth about “owning” the city of Memphis in recruiting. The very next day, Bama’s Nick Saban got his first commitment for the 2010 class from a stud player out of where? Memphis!

I know every Alabama fan out there has to be grinning from ear-to-ear, with Nick being able to take a great player right out of U.T.’s back yard. In my opinion, this will anger those with a vested interest in the Vols, especially since Saban’s timing made Kiffin and Thompson look foolish.

Maybe Lane hasn’t checked the scores and stats rolled up on the Vols by both Alabama and Florida over the past two seasons.

I’m fairly certain that the Crimson Tide has out-scored Tennessee by fifty points or more over the last two games and the Volunteers must travel to Bryant-Denny for the upcoming contest.

Saban will show no mercy on Kiffin because of the Thompson situation. Maybe these two clowns (Kiffin/Thompson) need to be muzzled before they do any more damage?

I already envision Urban Meyer telling Tim Tebow to turn on the gas and rack up 60 on Tennessee when they face-off their annual battle later this year. Gator fans will demand a beat-down and I’m confident Meyer will be anxious to quench their thirst by hammering Kiffin’s team into the turf.

By the way, I’m not the first writer to go after Lane Kiffin. Major media player Paul Finebaum (a U.T. alum himself) was the first to criticize his own university for hiring the boy. Finebaum turned his radar on Kiffin’s goofy nature way before Lane began to trip over his own tongue.

We’ve yet to see if Lane Kiffin can coach a lick. It surely didn’t look like it when he was running the NFL’s Oakland Raiders. However, we do know that he can do a great impression of Barney Fife. Remember when ole Barn used to blurt out goofy statements only he could understand and believe. Pretty funny, huh?

41 thoughts on “Shane: Clowns to the left – Jokers to the right”

  1. what a pitiful article! your partisanship is so blatant that you come across as whimpering snob trying to do anything to get back at tennessee for who knows what. kiffen will succeed or fail on his own merit without the likes of crybabys like you! so you got a top recruit out of tennessee. we got a top recruiter out of alabama! i have no complaints with the trade off. the bear was the greatest college coach of all time, and had a lot of class, something that is nowhere to be found in bama today.have a good day!

  2. Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    garydillard………You must not have known that Bama had an UNDEAFETED regular season !!!!!!!!!! They are the shizzle. KNOW YOUR ROLE !!!!!! Its a law that they have to be snooty. (Even though tha undefeated regular season got them NOTHING).

  3. That was very original Shame. The insight you threw at us was old and stale. It was better than Finebaum’s attempt at humor in this mornings column, it was a lousy display of humor. The concept was promising but the script/writing was a joke!

    Please explain to your loyal readers and listeners just how the orgy between you, Finebaum and Saban works. Perhaps an illustration with stick men would help…at least the body types would be right.

    WDE!

  4. Thank’s coach SABAN for giving the Aub-Der’s a 36 – 0 AZZ KICKING. Coach Saban, I would not have called off the DOGS in the THIRD QUARTER though, I would have added another 25 points.

    What is BallPlay Indian calling himself this week? It’s such a COWARDS way out to change your name when the going gets tough, isn’t It?

    36 – 0 AZZ KICKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Shane, it’s amazing to me how you get these General Robert E. Lee County coockroaches out from under their rocks.

  5. Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Crimsondoosher……….the Indian has only changed his name ONE time !!!!!!! That was to honor a lost bet. Feel great that you beat the worst Auburn team and the lowest morale Auburn team in 25 years. What an accomplishment. But it doesnt count………We were in a “weakened state”……….

  6. Ballplay Indian or whatever your calling yourself this week, so Aub-Ders were in a “weakened state”.

    Ballplay Indian or whatever your calling yourself this week, is that the same (EXCUSE) “weakened state” that you use about 99.9% of your POST on the CAPSTONE REPORT?

    It’s such a COWARDS way out to change your screen name when the going gets tough, isn’t IT?

    36 – 0 AZZ KICKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

    Shane, it’s amazing to me how you get these General Robert E. Lee county cockroaches out from under their rocks.

  7. What weakened state?

    No probation, a 10-year tenured, talented head coach, plenty of good players… Not buying what you’re selling, dude.

  8. Ballplay, Auburn is looking to be in a ‘weakened state’ for a while. What was the cause of this? I think you know.

  9. Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Brandy………….Dream on dude. Yall have had one good year and your unfreekin bearable. the world doesnt revolve around your has been school.

  10. To all of you naysayers and critics of Shane and Finebaum: Hey, these guys are just interpreting (and maybe “exploiting”) the situation the new U.T. coach has created. Kiffin’s childish “follies” are “fodder” for the Alabama (and SEC) bloggers,columnists and talk-show hosts.
    Just “go with the flow”. Enjoy the show. So far, Lane Kiffin is a “clown” and a “joker” – and anything but “dull”…

  11. Congrats on being the umpteenth columnist to scribe the exact same thing…. makes for a great journalist! Wish you a long and fruitful career. How about using some originality in your column vs. simply retreading the same ole stuff.

    I’m serious about this… when I take the time to read an article/column, I expect to read at least one nugget of new information, or viewing an issue from a different perspective.

    And using Paul Finebaum to validate your column is is like grasping for a life bouy. Finebaum is nothing more than an opportunistic hack, playing to his audience…. and while writing in the college rag at UT, his columns came across as smarmy, smart a$$, attention grabbing pieces, controversial pieces. But I have to hand it to Paul (I knew him in college, though not well), he did it with an original approach.

    He liked to stir things up then, and he still does now. I don’t know Paul’s current feelings towards UT- whether he despises the school, or is an equal opportunity columnist who can’t be characterized as a “homer.” I suspect much of it is simply to play to his audience in bammerland…. thus pumping up rating, and his salary… over 1/2 million annually, I understand.

    Enough about Paul. Though I disagree with his views quite a bit, I acknowledge his approach as being well thought-out, and it certainly has paid off well. And I think he did that with some originally vs. simply copying thoughts that have been addressed time and time again, as that/your approach has become past tiresome.

    But of course, writing for a bammer rag yourself, I guess you feel obligated to scribe (nearly plagiarize the thoughts expressed in many columns)in support of all things bammer, and parrot/spin all things anti-Auburn or anti-Tennessee. Not much of a resume to build a career on….. it’s taking the easy way, as opposed to taking the time and showing the professionalism to be creative and provocative

    The funniest thing is your criticism of his “breaking extremely minor NCAA violations”- when in comparison to the violations bammer commited several years back- well there is no comparison. Yet, to my knowledge, bammer continues to honor the Ghost of Logan Young, with the continued naming of a facility after him. IMHO, that is a complete disgrace and black spot on your university.

    Yeah, I agree- Kiffin has done some questionable things in his short time on The Hill- but in doing so, he has brought life back to the Tennessee program, while stubbing his pinkie toe- that’s a look cry from bammer being on the verge on the death penalty. Let’s see…. stubbing a pinkie toe vs. window shopping for caskets… pinkie toe, caskets…. I think I would take the pinkie toe injury. And what amazes me is your university continues to have your Mal Moore in-place, when so much coincidental evidence exists of his tight relationship with Logan Young, leading one to conclude he certainly knew of what was going on- he would have to be blind/deft considering the extensive time he spent with Young; and its no secret of Young going on his bragging escapades of buying players. And Mal knew nothing? ….. chuckle, chuckle. I guess buying a $4 million head coach can take a lot of pressure off the AD’s speculative knowledge.

    Back to Kiffin, I am amazed he was able to assemble the staff he did, and salvage the ’09 recruiting class so late in the game. Like Bruce Pearl said, it’s not his job to have his opponents like him- and in a kidding fashion, he complimented Kiffin for accomplishing in 1 week, what took him a year to do.

    You mention these violations… I have to laugh- though he was not aware the media was in the room when he made the Urban Meyer comments (thought only boosters and the such were in attendance); I agree those comments were out of line, and never should have been made in a public forum- media in attendance or not. But I understand his intention- to build excitement in a program that had grown stale.

    A good analogy to what Kiffin is doing, is what Pearl immediately did for UT’s basketball program- build excitement, double attendance at home games (until this year had a 30-something home game winning streak)- yeah, he pissed off opponents with some of his antics- bringing the team to court via the stands vs. the normal players locker room entrance….. but he wanted the fans to know the team personally appreciates the support. I was at the UGA game, when after UT’s victory, Pearl and the team went into the stands to meet, shake hands, and give high fives to the fans who traveled to attend that game. This created animosity with UGA and others in the conference- but I think it is great he and the team “personalize” and connect with the fans…. and you know, it works. Prior to Pearl’s arrival, UT had to screen off the upper tier of the arena with a black curtain so as not to give the appearance of an “empty arena.” I saw a stat a few days ago where UT’s basketball attendance is now #3 in the nation- only behind Kentucky and North Carolina (88 per game behind UNC)- not too bad. Want to buy a black curtain?

    Sometime it takes brash, energetic coaches to turn a program around and build enthusiasm. Both coaches are doing this- though we don’t know about Kiffin on the field (though you referenced his Raider experience- that was laughable, as I doubt bammer’s Saint Nick would do any better working for Al Davis). Saban sure couldn’t cut the mustard at Miami, where he didn’t have an overbearing owner such as Davis. I shutter to think how Saban would do working for Al Davis.

    A more fair comparison would be Kiffin’s USC experience, where he was the Offensive Coordinator and if not head of recruiting, he was a prime recruiter… and USC only won, I believe, 2 national championships while he was in that role. He essentially will be in that role at UT, calling the plays- and couple that with the NFL’s most respected Defensive Coordinator and a staff of tremendous recruiters, I believe good times are ahead for UT… not next year (gotta solve the QB situation and the thinning of the OL), but sooner than later.

    A quick mention of the minor secondary violations…. I already addressed the UF comments, and agree (though I do think it is in poor taste for a competing coach to continually contact a recruit while on an official visit elsewhere)….. possibly the NCAA should address that. Other violations UT SELF-REPORTED (has bammer learned to do that yet?), were 2 instances of replicating game day experiences…. well, actually neither were game day activities- (1) Tennessee does not enter the field through a fog machine; and (2) the team does not attend the formal post-game press conference, which was simulated during an official visitation weekend…. again, not a game day experience. And Kiffin slipped when being interviewed on the radio when asked about a specific player, by mentioning that player’s name in his response…… each of the former self-reported violations probably aren’t even violations. Compared to bammer’s history of adhering to established standards and lack of regard to compliance of very significant rules and regulations, I find it laughable a bammer rag scribe would would even consider writing such a mundane article to criticize another school for such piddly little actions, that might not even be violations…. yet, UT self-reported…. something the Capstone might consider doing on a consistent basis some day; er, make that some decade..

    And by the way, thanks for sending Bruce Pearl to UT; by when he was coaching a no-name sub-mid-major school in the land of ice and snow, and thumped bammer in the NCAAs. That embarrassing loss by bammer, placed Pearl on the radar, was a factor in his being considered for the UT job…. which in his first year, earned the highest seating ever in UT history (#2, though I must say I was shocked at that), winning the SEC last year, 1st in the SEC East now but with a tough road ahead, with major holes in certain areas of the team, making it to 2 Sweet 16’s, and the NCAA tourney every year since being on campus, doubling game attendance through his personalized efforts, and making things fun for the fans. Sure competitors thought he was showboating when he supported Pat Summitt by sitting shirtless/painted in the student section with some of his team- but it was energizing to those who bleed orange.

    I have no clue what the ratio is now, but during his first year in Knoxville, he spoke at and attended more fund raisers and meetings of non-UT organizations than there were days in the year- yet was still able to earn a #2 seating in the Big Dance. The one I am most proud of, was his direct involvement with a Methodist orphanage in Greeneville, TN. Before he died, my father wrote a book about his mentor, with all the proceeds going to this orphanage (and we later had all his memorial donations given to this same orphanage). I noted earlier, Pearl’s involvement with this Methodist orphanage- well Pearl is Jewish. This was very personal to me, and significantly increased my regard for Bruce.

    I realize I got off-topic somewhat with the Pearl commentary- but Kiffin’s approach is to building enthusiasm in a stale program is not to different than Pearl’s…. it worked once, and I suspect it will work again, considering the brain-trust Kiffin has surrounded himself with in his assistant coach hiring.

    And in conclusion, thanks again to bammer for being the catalyst to bring Pearl to the national spotlight- leading to his hiring at UT.

    Oh, and one other…… you might want to inform your bammer brethren, Fulmer was not the first to report bammer for its blatant cheating and disregard of recruiting rules…… it was Spurrier (I’m not suggesting Fulmer didn’t ultimately participate; but if bammers would check their facts, they would know Spurrier publicly acknowledged it was he, not Phil that initially turned bammer in for its cheating…… just curious, are bammers still in denial about all that?)

  12. FOR THE LOVE. . . please do not respond to Dog in Volville, I had to scroll down for thirty minutes to get to the end of that jibberish. Oh, and btw the next time I want to read some new,original, and positive info about Bama, I will make sure and go to a Tenn website and read it from a big Vol writer. Puulleasse man! Just another obsessed Bama wannabe. . . .

  13. SEC CIRCUS:

    Shane, it appears that our Southeastern Conference friends here on the comment page; have never been to the circus.

    If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance,
    then baffle them with bull-shit.

    I know without a doubt, that Kiffen made an enormous mistake. You don’t sucker-punch the big kid’s on the block, unless you are a glutton for punishment;
    because you will get your ass kicked.

    This ante the damn XFL. Talks cheap in the SEC.
    None of the respected Universities of the Southeastern Conference are happy with the fact that The University of Alabama, has once again managed to purchase another number-one recruiting class. It seems that Kiffen, has even less self control than that ridiculous rookie at Auburn.
    In this circus, there is only one constant: JUST WIN BABY.

  14. HOW DO YOU BAMMERS FEEL ABOUT YOUR COACH BEING A VIETNAM PROTESTER? HE WAS THROWING ROCKS/SMOKE BOMBS AT THE POLICE/NATIONAL GUARD THE DAY SEVERAL STUDENTS WERE KILLED. SABAN WAS TO SHORT TO GET HIT BY THE GUN FIRE. THE POLICE SAID LATER THEY THOUGHT HE WAS A 10 YEAR OLD KID ON CAMPUS. BAMMER YOU HAVE A LIBERAL SCUMBAG AS YOUR HEAD FOOTBALL COACH.

  15. Larry C: How do you feel about being a dumbass? You would take him at Auburn in a heartbeat over the guy you have. Man, all I can say is I feel sorry for you Auburn goons if you can’t take it like a man. I don’t think I have met one of you that hasn’t started to crack up and get all foamed at the mouth at the mention of what Saban is doing at Alabama. It is pretty funny though and more satisfying than you would ever know. Ya’ll keep up the good work!

  16. bammerBRANDO ARE YOU THE LEADER OF THE INBREDS AT THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL USA? YOU HAVE A 5 FT 2 INCH MIDGET AS YOUR COACH AND A LIBERAL SCUMBAG AT THAT. THE ONLY REASON HE IS ALIVE TODAY IS BECAUSE HE WAS TO SHORT TO SHOOT ON THAT GREAT DAY WHEN THE GUARD/POLICE SHOT THEM SCUMBAGS. THE POLICE SHOULD HAVE SHOT MORE PROTESTERS BACK THEN. WE WOULD NOT HAVE THE FAGGS AND LIBERALS LIKE SABAN AROUND TODAY.

  17. BALLPLAY INDIAN I AM NOT A AUBURN FAN. I LOVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL BUT I DONT HAVE A FAVORITE TEAM. I WENT TO THE LIBRARY AND FOUND OUT ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT SABAN AND HIS KENT ST FRIENDS. A BOOK WAS WROTE ABOUT WHAT HAPPEN AT KENT ST. SABAN AND SEVERAL OF HIS DEMLIBS ARE QUOTED IN THE BOOK. THIS MAN IS A DISGRACE TO CALL HIMSELF AN AMERICAN.

  18. Ballplay what’s your problem? If Larry wants to get on here and take saban to task for his political persuasion, so be it. Sounds to me like his actions were pretty disgraceful.
    Don’t tell me your the type who beleives in free speech, as long as it’s what you want to hear. Better known as a liberal.

  19. I will take up for Ballplay on this one Bamasgreat, believe me he is no liberal. As for Larry C “he went to the library to get all the information he could on Saban” self admitted obsession at its finest. I saw him at the library checking out a comic book to fall asleep with under the overpass, he is the disgrace of an american he speaks of by the fact that we have to support him through welfare because he is too lazy to get a job.

  20. FOUR DEAD IN OHIO:

    Shane, I usually don’t rebut any of this redicilious amiture garbage here on the Capstone comment page, but tonight is completely different.

    What happened at Kent State University, was not only a blemish on the history of our great country, it also managed to expose our occasional lack of judgment. The casualty numbers of the Vietnam War, severely suffer by comparison to the damage that we did to ourselves during the Civil War.

    The goober-heads that attempt to write on this mostly sports forum; have clearly not done their homework.

    The Ohio National Guard, regrettably assassinated a group of unarmed college students during a non-violent protest of a foreign war that they did not believe in. It was a sign of the times.
    “They died for nothing.”

    Looking back from a safe distance of time; anyone that had the foresight to protest that cluster-fuck of a war, deserves more than just an honorable mention down at the memorial park.
    Perhaps the more things change;
    the more they stay the same.

  21. Larry C: Thanks! And I hope you have a nice day! Please keep you ignorant rantings coming. I really do enjoy them, because it just proves the obvious. I knew I was right to be a Bama fan. (no offense Ballplay. I know I give you hell, but I know you are not like this clown)

  22. You are right Ty. I guess Larry C loves for us to bomb the shit out of people. Just like then, and now, it has proved to be bad for us all. We should never be anxious to go to war, but inbreds like Larry C here fail to understand. But we have a free country, and he has the right to be stupid. And BTW, I think we had the right to go after the Taliban, but Iraq was really unnecessary at the time. Look at the shape we are in after blowing all that money on that place, and they still hate us.

  23. Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Bamasux…..Partly right. I dont have anything against what hes saying. Its more like the way hes saying it. ALL CAPS RANTS ONLY MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID….

    Saban is no longer a college boy. I can guaruntee you with all the money hes made, plus living in the south for sooo long. Hes no longer a dam liberal.

  24. Agreed….personally, I don’t really care about saban’s politics. No question he is a good coach. His (and his followers)recruiting practices will cook their goose soon enough.

  25. I thought Saban was a communist, he sure isn’t running a democracy down there. But I love to see all the Auburn fans waiting for that day Saban gets caught cheating, even though he has never had a history of nothing like that. The NCAA and referees all have respect for Saban. He has a clean record, unlike some on the staff at Auburn. There are still people in the Auburn football program payroll that was there when they were caught paying players. Watch what you wish for, because it very well could happen to you. But seriously, how sad of a state is the psyche of the Auburn fan base when all you can hope for is that Bama gets in trouble? You guys really are pathetic.

  26. AND @least Larry C tells it like it is!!
    And then what the stupid ass bummers who have to collect and original thought between themselves say OH YEA WELL IF IT WAS AUBURN! Larry C has RIPPED AUburn too! Funny when he says something about OL NICKY and the Knee boys take offense.
    IF he is a draft dodging, SPITTING ON THEM BOYS COMEING BACK(I will investigate!). I ll rip him a knew ass (VERBALLY) to his face. He will hear and see me when I do it, thats a promise, Them boys did what YOUR GREAT LEADEDS told them to! Just like bushes boys are, I think Bush was a JOKE of a Politician but I wouldnt dare make those Brave MEN over there PAY for it!!!

    WAR POLYTECH BITCHES!!!

  27. The BAMMER from St. Clair

    YO! Nice to see the party is up & running! The first shout-out goes to VOLNDOGVILLE: First of all, that was an interesting BOOK you wrote and second on the agenda you ONLY WISH that Lane Kiffin was the offensive coordinator when USC won those 2 National Championships in ’03 & ’04. Norm Chow was the offensive coordinator for USC then and you can check that out! As for Kiffin’s coaching ability it remains to be seen what kind of head coach he will be because the present-day Oakland Raiders should not be a measuring stick. The last time the Raiders enjoyed any sustained success was when John Gruden was the head coach and that was several years ago. Also, I have to question the guy’s SANITY. Kiffin has coached at the collegiate level before; one WOULD THINK that he would be somewhat cognizant of what are and what aren’t RULES VIOLATIONS. Dude, you can pump up a crowd without name-dropping certain coaches from around the SEC. Furthermore, talking about potential recruits by name is something that he should have learned at USC! You simply don’t do that! With all that being said I have enjoyed the COMEDIC RELIEF that Kiffin has provided and I’m waiting for more. Keep it coming, Lane! As for the OMNIPRESENT and LARRY C characters, here’s something for both you. THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION provides all Americans with the right to FREEDOM OF SPEECH. If Nick Saban spoke out and did not agree with what the Ohio National Guard did at Kent State, THAT DOES NOT MAKE HIM A COMMUNIST! Why is it that the people who call theirselves “conservative” are the quickest to point fingers and play the “you are a commie” card if the person they cast the spotlight on happens to have a different opinion about an issue? Before anybody starts CASTING VERBAL STONES in my direction let me DECLARE that I AM AN INDEPENDENT. I have voted for REPUBLICANS, DEMOCRATS, and LIBERTARIANS. All I’m saying is that when you call somebody a commie, you better be sure about what kind of accusation you’re making.

  28. To Bammer…..you forgot to mention that if a conservative disagrees with someone or some idea, he is considered a racist, “homophobe”, or bigot. Hell the libs won the presidency with that tactic.

    As for conservatives being the first to point fingers, you are out of your mind. Liberals and democrats are the most sensitive, thin-skinned folks out there.
    If we had pointed fingers at what a joke the “community re-investment act of 1998” was, it’s doubtful we would be in as big a mess as we are currently in. However, I’m sure we would have been labeled racists.

  29. i know it hurts all you toothless bammers to hear the truth about midget saban but the truth will set you free. i went to nam and i wished the police had of shot and killed all the draft dodgers protesting in the streets of america. we would not have people marching in protest on the streets of america. this would be a better place to live. most protesters were demlibs.

  30. You say in your article that “we have yet to see if Kiffin can coach a lick.” This article implies that you cannot write a lick also. Your elementary school writing needs to improve also. All you do is criticize other teams. No wonder Jim Donnan hung up on you during the radio show a few years ago. Your agenda is wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-y to old.

  31. Larry C: You are an idiot. You didn’t go to “Nam” and you are an embarrassment to our country. But you saying the government should shoot protesters and such makes you more of a communist. You would be a better fit in China. Punk.

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