Commentary: Another reason I’m glad Alabama isn’t Oregon

by ITK

As this season rolls along, 5-6 games in to the schedule for most teams, discussion almost always turns to who will play in that final game of the year.

With every lopsided Oregon win over absolutely nobody (Nichols State, Virginia, Tennessee, Cal and Colorado…really, Ducks?), the inevitable proposition in the never ending discussion of “Who out there can take down big, bad Alabama” brings us the Oregon Ducks. Call it Bama fatigue…and that is real…, Oregon almost always gets offered up to the football gods as the answer.

In fairness, Oregon is a unique animal. They’re trendy in every way. They play the up tempo style of offense that people have bought into. They play dress up, wearing a new uniform seemingly every week. Their facilities are among the best in the land. And their cheerleaders are hands down the hottest, bordering on what you protect your kids from on late night cable. I’m sorry, they just are.

But the unit that gave us Amanda Pflugrad now gives us something else that makes me yearn for traditional college football. This Saturday, as Oregon travels to finally play somebody in #16 Washington, the Oregon cheerleaders will be wearing these:

Oregon Cheerleader logo contacts

Have you ever been to a restaurant that clearly spent way too much time focusing on the atmosphere and overlooked the quality of the food? That’s Oregon football.

Ever been to a church with state-of-the-art facilities but nobody makes you feel welcome? That’s Oregon football.

Ever had a contractor work on your house who over-promises but under delivers? Oregon football.

Oregon football is like serving your kids a bowl full of Skittles for dinner. It’s your spouse writing you a heartfelt note or poem then going out and cheating on you that night. It’s the timeshare you have to sit through with no free tickets to anything worth a crap in the end.

Oregon clearly focuses on more worthless crap than anybody in the game. And they’re not alone. There are plenty of teams that employ gimmicks and trends yet never make a significant dent in the landscape of college football. But the Ducks are at the top of that worthless heap. Like their trendy counterparts, they are yet to bring home the hardware.

Oregon gimmicks are cute, and as already mentioned their cheerleaders are too. But for crying out loud, look no further than Tuscaloosa for how to dominate and make teams fear for their lives (and seasons) when you roll into town, and I’m talking LSU, not Nichols State or Auburn. One thing is for sure. It has nothing to do with what they are wearing or what Bama’s cheerleaders have in their eyes.

Will the contacts play a roll in the game? No, and that’s not at all what I’m saying. I’m just saying that I’m thankful that my alma mater fosters a football culture focused on driving your team into the ground, breaking your will and leaving you without hope by the end of the 3rd quarter.

Not playing dress up.

(Follow ITK on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)


Add Yours
  1. 1

    Wow what a typical article from typical low life bama gump.
    Your baseless,unfounded and unnecessary comments about the Oregon football team are bad enough, but only a bama gump could take it a step further and attack the cheerleaders of another program for the amusement of himself and a large part of bama’s fan base just to make themselves feel better about his own team. Your team has an SEC game this week and this is what you choose to write about and yet you wonder why all of college football fans outside of the state of Alabama, and half of the ones inside of the state, think so lowly of bama’s fan base.

    To make the comment that the Oregon “Cheerleaders are hands down the hottest, bordering on what you protect your kids from on late night cable” says a lot more about your mind set and perverted thoughts and your late night tv viewing prefrences than it does about these young ladies who cheer for their university. But why should we be surprised by comments liket that coming from you when you come from the same fan base that gave the nation the “tea bagger”, a middle aged married man that would pull out his private parts in public and do what he did to college student, regardless if that student was passed out or not.

    The Oregon Cheerleaders uniforms are more conservative than 90% of what every woman under the age of 40 wears on any day at any of the gulf beaches in your own state where you can also find thousands of Alabama families with their children, none of whom have been blind folded by their parents.

    If you’ve seen Amanda Pflugrad in anything more revealing than her Oregon Cheerleader outfit I’m sure it wasn’t in her official capacity as a representative of the Oregon football team, and you probably went looking for it like you search late night tv to satisfy your perverted cravings.

    And when you did make a comment about your own football team in this article it was nothing but typical false boasting from a gump. You say “look no further than Tuscaloosa for how to dominate and make teams fear for their lives when you roll into town”. Well I don’t think Texas A&M feared for their lives when they rolled into Tuscalooser last year, and your tide not only did not dominate them your team didn’t even win the game. Same goes for LSU the last time they rolled into Tuscalooser. Again no domination and no victory for your rolless Tide.
    And I can promise you this years LSU team will not be fearfull nor dominated when they roll into Tuscalooser in another month.

    As a writer you are laughable, as a human you are sad. As a gump I guess you are happy because every box of chocolate is a surprise for you.

  2. 3

    Are you finished turdbreath? Do you have a job? Is this site your home? Just make it up as you go along, ok. Fact is the Corndogs along with the Barnturds are on a year to year basis far, far more hated coast to coast than Bama. Fact is, even with Bama fatigue I can still go on the street any where in the US and especially Mexico and find 10 times more people who still like and respect Bama, than LSWho and Awbie put together. In fact in Mexico Bama is better known and respected than the Texas Longhorns; and nobody knows who LSU or Auburn is. Go ahead and live in your fantasy world, dumbass. Last year we lost to A&M. You lost to a worse team in Florida. Then you lost to Bama in a game that meant everything. But you weren’t finished yet – you had to go out and embarrass the SEC by losing to Clemson. Bwaa Haww Haww! Sure am glad I don’t have to live vicariously through the few teams who manage to sneak up on Bama. Bet you A&M was worried this year. If you shitheads manage to win tomorrow, bet you the Corndogs are worried shitless when you come to T-Town; cause your ONLY hope for the season goes through Alabama. The teams who might not be worried about playing Bama are the ones who have nothing to lose by getting blasted. Just shut the fuck up repeating the few losses Bama has had in the last 6 years. Only 2 were to the Corndog’s and neither was meaningful in the end. Bama has it all and you don’t have shit. Bullshit in 3-2-1—!

  3. 4

    LMAO is an idiot but he sure stirs you up. Don’t resort to childish name calling with him, just smile and have the pleasure of knowing he comes to this website because he is eat up with all things UofA because we are on top of the world and he can’t take it.

  4. 6

    Great article I have always believed Oregon’s offense is smoke and mirrors. The reason Florida’s spread was so dominate in their Urban years is because like Alabama and LSU they had the best talent in the nation on the field, especially on defense. Any coach will tell you its not so much X’s and O’s its the Jimmys and Joes, and Lord knows we have them in the SEC. Oregon has always struggled with scheme and talent level defensively and that will be there undoing. Lastly as a kid growing up in the 90’s i love a little brash cockiness, like I’ve said before Spurrier won 6 SEC titles and 1 national championship and played for 2 all his teams had an heir of cockiness to them. FSU played in 5 and won 2 national titles all cocky. The same goes for OU under Switzer and USC under Carroll, now i consider myself a class guy but a little swagger on the football field I love. Saban is the best coach in the game and I look foward to a fundamental beat down of UK Saturday, but every man has small gripes, my one knock on Saban is he is too Belichick like, too much Robot and not enough cockiness. Every man has at least one gripe and thats mine.

    • 7
      # 1 al. fan

      Great article ITK! In reference to the USAFAp reply, Coach Saban is just too classy a guy to even think about ‘getting cocky’ or ‘having a swag’ in his walk. I;ve seen enough of him to know this. He would consider such stuff as that as ‘clutter’, anyway he like to concentrate on winning the next game, nuff said…….RTR BTW I wonder what color uniforms the Oregon team will have this Saturday, I swear but I believe they celebrate Halloween every Saturday out there!!

    • 9

      I agree USAFAp. If you look closely you’ll see Saban’s swagger, but he will never…ever…hang 70 points on somebody like some of the coaches you mention would…and did. If so Bama could have put 100 on Auburn last November, and could have done the same last week against Georgia State. The “s” bomb he dropped as the cameras caught it on Eddie Lacy’s 50 yard TD in the blow out win against Michigan State was a one-play personification of his class. Aubies and other haters detest him because he dominates you, but in doing so shows resraint, which is insult added to injury.

      But I’m like you; I don’t mind a little swagger. But I like the fact that you and I have to really dig to find something to complain about our football program. It just means it’s truly great to be from Alabama!!

  5. 10

    At the end of the day, it’ football and is all about entertainment. Oregon entertains; Alabama bores and benefits from the SEC bandwagoners. But it’s still just football. Nothing to get worked up about. I’d be more concerned about Alabama’s history as a slave state. Why do you guys hate blacks so much (unless they are picking cotton or running a football)?

  6. 11
    The Conduit

    The weird part is Mariota is really good. He’s Cam Newton with a personality and without a criminal record or trust issues and a dad shopping him around while he fakes injuries.

    Wait, nevermind, he’s actually not that much like Cam Newton.

    Mariota will probably win the Heisman, but not the national title.

    Oregon has talent. Tons of it. They’re not fake.

    But their culture of shiny helmets and pretty facilities defines them. I don’t love their cultural identity, but at least they have one that screams loud and clear what it is and what they represent. I respect their culture, I just don’t like it is all.

    I like that they don’t do helmet stickers. I bet Oregon would have the craziest holographic helmet stickers in the nation. Helmet stickers suck though, and Oregon changes their helmets more often than a Majorette changes her mind about not ordering seconds, too often to actually have helmet stickers.

    Oregon’s culture certainly isn’t boring and seems to focus more on Oregon itself and enhancing its brand than, for example, it’s big brother and everything they do.

    • 12

      I agree wholeheartedly. And I like Mariota alot. But I’m convinced the smoke and mirror games they play with the shiny this and that won’t matter squat when Nick Saban and company have 30 days to get to know them inside and out. It may be the most competitive of the National Championship games we’ve won (hear that Aubies, that means plural) in recent years, but the result will be the same.

      • 13

        I hate to say this . I have always bin a Bama fan .
        But this year isn’t going to be a Bama year.
        The Ducks will role over Bama like a steam roller.
        What you don’t realize is that weather you like it or not.
        The “glitz” and “techiness” of the Ducks team has inhanced the recruting abillity of Oregons program light years ahead of the rest of the programs in the nation.
        And as the years progress , it will only get worse for the eastern conferences .
        Let’s face it. If you are an 18 year old tech head , where would you rather spend you’re collage years. In Alabama ( not the most exciting place in the world ) or the west coast. Home of all things high tech…………….

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