Bobby Petrino trending to Auburn proving “creed” is garbage

Y ou read it first here on April 11, 2012.

Just days after Bobby Petrino was fired from Arkansas for lying to his president, ignoring a stack of resumes in favor of the chance to hire his favorite booty call, I called it right here that Bobby Petrino would be the next coach at Auburn.

In case you missed it, you can read here my incredibly prophetic story outlining the timeline in which a then secure Gene Chizik would undo himself, continue to reveal how inept he was without Cam Newton, and would be fired as Alabama continued its dominance of the Auburn Tigers and the rest of the college football landscape.

The only thing I was wrong about was the timeline. I said it would be the start of the 2014 season that Petrino would be at the helm. Little did I know it would be much sooner.

Not to toot my own horn, but read this prophecy from April 11th of this year:

“If you want to write Petrino off, go ahead. But we live in a society that forgives and forgets A LOT.

“We had a president, ironically from the state of Arkansas, “get serviced” from a White House intern. Like Petrino, Bill Clinton lied about it, then subsequently kept his job as leader of the free world. Today this incredible happening barely gets mention as his wife holds office and he makes his presidential rounds.

“Patrick Fain Dye was caught red-handed by the NCAA shoveling money to players, resulting in another NCAA probation on the plains and the loss of his job. Today, Dye is still a beloved figure down on the farm, has an office in the athletic complex, and even has the freaking field Auburn plays on named after him.

“They say time heals all wounds, and given time, somebody is going to roll the dice on Bobby Petrino again. Somebody is going to allow themselves to be part of his redemption story. Not because they want to help him, but because of the lust for winning.”

And now, just seven months later….SEVEN MONTHS….here we are.

The Aubuhn Fambly, proponents of faith, values and the Aubuhn creeeed are about to step all over themselves and hire a philanderer who hardly exemplifies what they claim to be about in that very creed.

In short, the Auburn fanbase and program continues to illustrate they are nothing more than a cultish pile of garbage, and all the media spin and public relations efforts serves only as cheap perfume covering the ready stench that continues to billow out of Lee County.

Strong indications are pointing to Bobby Petrino, the adulterer who traded his family, integrity and responsibilities for getting his jollies off, as the next coach of the Auburn Tigers.

Heck, Auburn’s true ambassador, the godless Charles Barkley openly called for his hiring over the airwaves just last night.

Why?

Because Auburn wants to win….it’s all that matters down there. Period.

Forget the creeds. Forget the “Fambly”. Forget the crap about being “an Auburn man.” It’s all garbage.

Simply put, Auburn sees a cheap hire of the best coach available and from all indications is about to pounce on it.

It’s worth noting that Petrino never beat Nick Saban. In fact, Saban had the knack of making Petrino’s normally potent offenses look rather impotent. So if the hire happens, it isn’t as if any Alabama fans have reason for worry.

It just shows what a sham the preach-speak in Lee County is, and has always been. Forget morals. Forget faith. And forget all the bull crap they’ve been selling down there.

Auburn University would sell its collective soul to beat Alabama. Period. And the hire you’re likely going to see in a few days will be absolute evidence that this is yet another ITK prophecy that will ring true.


(Follow ITK on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)

95 Responses to “Bobby Petrino trending to Auburn proving “creed” is garbage” Subscribe

  1. Crimsonite November 27, 2012 at 12:42 pm #

    Far be it from me to point fingers – other than the middle ine – but compare Alabama firing Price over an exotic dancer who was never even proven to have entered his hotel room, thereby forcing the emergency hire of Shula to Barney with time to spare possubly hiring Petrino who was boffing his coed secretary who was engaged to an assisstant coach and then he commited other indiscretions and was fired for it. I personally didn’t give a shit what either one of them did, or Dumbose either for that matter. But if they hire Petrino, who we’ll own as always, then I never want to hear another fuking ‘holier than thou’ word out of you Barner Bastards again. Period. RTR!

    • Andrew November 30, 2012 at 5:50 pm #

      We all know y’all don’t want him to get Petrino. That’s OBVIOUS.

      Oh, how easy you guys forget about the Bear, Mike Price, Wimp Sanderson, and Mike Dubose.

      All just fine, wonderful, upstanding individuals.

      I don’t want a Sunday School teacher, nor do I wrap myself in the creed.

      I want a winner….and Petrino is that.

  2. Bill Johnson November 27, 2012 at 1:11 pm #

    The fact that you updykes are even talking about Auburn now, proves AU will always be in your head

    • Denny Chimes November 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

      No, it is Nick Saban that is in your head. That is why Tubby hired Tony Franklin. That is why Chizik tried to change the offense. That is why Auburn tried to troll Bama by releasing the Rueben Foster statement.

      That is why you’ve had 2 head coaches processed in the past 4 years and are about to have another one processed, no matter who it is.

      • Roy Williams November 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

        Tbbs has a winning record against spanky!

        • capstonereport November 27, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

          And you guys panicked following the 2008 Iron Bowl ass kicking.

          Morons replaced a great coach with a moron and now have NCAA problems to boot.

      • Roy Williams November 27, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

        Tbbs has a winning record against spanky!

        • WhoreEagle November 27, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

          49 – 0….because Saban is nice.

        • Crimsonite November 27, 2012 at 9:19 pm #

          Not at Alabama he damn sure doesn’t. We don’t hardly give a shit what happened at a lesser school, dumbass. RTR!

    • bsm1970 November 27, 2012 at 3:11 pm #

      Exactly. Here they are less than a week from the SEC title game with a chance to make the BCS title game and the “Capstone Report” is reporting on….Auburn.

      Them trashing Petrino is all I need to know that he’s the guy they least want on the Plains.

      • BamaBrando November 27, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

        Saban has beaten Patrino in every try. I really hope Auburn hires Patrino and his damaged reputation. It will make Sabans job easier in this state.

        • # 1 al. fan November 28, 2012 at 7:34 am #

          If the Aubies do hire Patrino, does he get to bring that hottie that he was boffing?? I really……….. oh wow!!! RTR

      • Crimsonite November 27, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

        It wouldn’t matter if you dumbasses got Barry Switzer. You won’t be winning shit after you get santioned. RTR!

  3. Kyle November 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

    Why such hostility? Great information, just discounted by the extremism. If Auburn hires Petrino, kudos for nailing it. I will never understand the downright venom spewed from both sides.

  4. Adam November 27, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    So let me get this straight.

    CapstoneReport, an Alabama blog, predicted Bobby Petrino would go to Auburn.

    Now that Chizik has been fired, the same Alabama blog is again trying to link Petrino to Auburn, despite nothing like that being reported.

    So despite the fact it’s an Alabama blog starting the rumor, you’re trying to say it’s a black mark on Auburn?

    Now I know why everyone hates Alabama. They’re about to go to a national championship, but all they want to talk about is Auburn. I think it’s pretty obvious Auburn runs that state.

    • capstonereport November 27, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

      Adam, go read the Auburn Pravda sites. They are now saying what Finebaum has been saying, that things are trending Petrino’s way.

      ITK’s prediction was based on how desperate to win Auburn is relative to the competitive nature of the SEC. When Chizik was exposed as a fraud, then the assumption is that Auburn would want the best available coach—who is likely Petrino.

      Anyway, Petrino is the buzz. Of course, I heard a new name this afternoon when I spoke to someone in the coaching business. I may write about it later since it is an intriguing name.

      • ITK November 27, 2012 at 4:55 pm #

        Auburn’s next coach is Bobby Petrino.

        Bank it. End of discussion. Can’t reveal how I know, but I know.

        So burn the Auburn creed now.

    • # 1 al. fan November 28, 2012 at 7:47 am #

      C’mon Adam cut us some slack!! We’re always posting a more than 10 win season ad/or playing for a National Championship time after time….With the ‘hay’ in the barn we can really sit back and poke fun at our ‘orange-headed stepchild’ I mean they are always screwing up doing something so as to stay in trouble, they just don’t get it!! Actually the only concern I have for the Aubies is those trees that seemed to be doing just fine until some firebug decided to give ol undyke a pass if they dye…. er… I mean die…. RTR

  5. Auburn November 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    From the time I started undergrad at Auburn in 2003 until I recieved my degree in 2007, I never witnessed an Auburn loss to Alabama. I am truly grateful that as a student I was able to see 5 years of suffering of the uneducated, disgusting people that are classified as Alabama fans. Being from Carolina, I grew up seeing Alabama fans on TV and asking my parents why these people are always so desperately consumed by a football game. They, like most civilized Americans, did not understand either. It took first hand experience as an Auburn man to understand Alabama’s unwarranted hatred, and after a few years there, I realized that the rivalry is actually generated BY Alabama fans, as opposed to what is normally understood as a mutual disdain between both schools.

    Allow me to explain. The state of Alabama is the 5th poorest state in the country, and the 2nd highest in illiteracy. These are only two of the major inferiorities that the citizens of this state possess, but it serves the purpose here. Since the collective population of Alabama is made up of poor and stupid people who have very little to be proud of, these same people desperately grasp anything that gives them a sense of self-worth and respect. In the uneducated person’s mind, dwelling in a state that has a public university who has nationally recognized, successful football team allows that uneducated individual to claim some connection to that university, even though no real such connection exists. (e.g. Texas native and incompetent, tyrannical former police officer, Harvey Updyke) The typical Alabama fan has nothing in life to be proud of, and because of this hopelessness, they will religiously support the one positive element in their life, AS WELL as vehemently oppose any person or group that threatens that positive entity.

    I cannot help but draw a parallel between this behavior and the behavior of the members of the Taliban, or Al Qaeda. Since the Jihadists are uneducated, in poverty, and hopeless, they covet a return to a medieval Islamic empire that was, in their minds, the last good thing to happen in their culture and therefore, the only thing they have to be proud of. Thus, they vehemently hate us, The West, because we are the antithesis of that, with our modernity, wealth, and intellectual superiority.

    The reason that the Auburn Alabama rivalry is so famous is because it is vicious. It is vicious because of the Alabama fan. The Alabama fan is viscous because he is a hopeless, poor, stupid terrorist and thus hates Auburn University because it is a place of hope, wealth, class, and intellectual superiority.

    And to all of the readers that believe I speak of all Alabamians, please be aware that I recognize that there are very many fine human beings in and from Alabama. It’s just that they go to Auburn.

    Also, whoever the person was that wrote this laughably moronic, grammatical train wreck of an “article”, you know nothing of Auburn…Of course we want to win at all costs. Who wouldn’t want to destroy a hoard of sub-human incompetents hell-bent on destroying your Alma Mater’s traditions, trees and campus, and athletic programs?

    • pete4tide November 27, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

      The Bama fan is vicious because he is your mama. Now go get that order of fries up, barney. Just cause you’re in Carolina doesn’t mean you get to lay around all day and get paid.

      • Auburn November 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

        “The Bama fan is vicious because he is your mama”

        Thank you Pete4Tide for validating my argument with a concrete example.

        • WhoreEagle November 27, 2012 at 7:59 pm #

          49 – 0 and Auburn is pissed. Love the thesis, by the way. Maybe you can learn to summarize. Try this…

          Summary:
          Auburn is less of a school and athletic program than Alabama and I’m pissed about it. My sad life has made me write a thesis on a Bama fan site, hoping I will believe my own words. I love trees!

          • Auburn November 28, 2012 at 7:03 am #

            I apologize that I was unable to explain this in children’s book form. Would it help if I draw you some pictures?

          • Auburn November 28, 2012 at 7:07 am #

            And you obviously did not go to undergraduate school, much less grad school, because any formally educated person would not define my simple response as a thesis. Clown.

          • WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 9:21 am #

            Auburn, you truly are clueless (and a little too uptight).

            This is the deal….On your best day, and on my worst day, I’m still smarter than you.

            And no, I’m not going to list off my degree(s) because there is no way to validate it. Also, this is a fan blog not a Think Tank convention.

            So, lighten up, Turd.

        • pete4tide November 28, 2012 at 8:53 am #

          Aubie – it’s called “sarcasm” in response to your diatribe that I stopped reading two sentences in. Go put your crap on an Aubie fan site – no one here cares about you or your thoughts. This site is a Bama blog, not a site for University of Auburn apologists defending their lack of manhood. Go join the NTY foundation website and spew your crap – we aren’t interested in your delusions about SW Georgia.

    • BamaBrando November 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

      I was at the game, and every where I went in Tuscaloosa on Saturday, the loudest and most obnoxious person around me was an Auburn fan. The few that were sitting in the stands around me were particularly vicious before they left in the second quarter. What was funny was they left their Auburn pom poms and just left. I have photos of that scene, and video of the obnoxiousness to prove it.

      Have I told you all lately how much I hate Auburn? I was reminded of why a lot on Saturday. There will be no pity from me.

    • WhoreEagle November 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

      Auburn….learn to summarize

      • Auburn November 28, 2012 at 7:09 am #

        I apologize that I was unable to explain this in children’s book form. Would it help if I draw you some pictures?

        • WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 9:24 am #

          Yes, draw me a picture of a dead tree with some shit paper hanging on it.

          That would bring a smile to my face. Thanks!

          • BamaBrando November 28, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

            That was very funny! I think a Daniel Moore print of the dead twees would sell really well…

    • Yellowhammer November 27, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

      You have memories of Alabama fans from a childhood spent in Carolina? Apparently being born “little brother” is true. Secondly, is this David Housel? The reason why I ask such a question is clear but I will let someone of your obvious intellectual superiority figure that one out. Speaking of your Islamic comparison, you do realize that the Middle East conflict is far more complicated than simple jealousy right? I mean if it was just envy, they would probably just log onto American blogs and whine about how stupid we are similar to a little girl sniveling over bubble gum. However I can only assume that probably wasnt part of your sociology curriculum hence your cluelessness. 49-0.

    • almightytmc1 November 28, 2012 at 6:16 am #

      Wow Auburn, I see one major flaw in your analysis. Auburn is located IN THE STATE OF ALABAMA.

    • # 1 al. fan November 28, 2012 at 8:00 am #

      Geee!! with al of that I’m just gonna go and see if I can get season tickets for next year and ‘just suffer’ through ANOTHER Championship run, so goes the creed of an Alabama Fan….. don’t you fret my friend, not everybody is cut out to be an Alabama Fan………but I will add, that your use of grammer is real impressive so maybe there’s hope for you yet…… c’mon now say it slowly… Rollll Tide. RTR

    • The Conduit November 28, 2012 at 9:43 am #

      @Auburn

      Wait, you’re blaming Auburn’s anger ON Alabama itself, and you’re also bashing the entire state of Alabama at the same time?

      I’m from Carolina too. I live there now. But the day I compare the Gamecocks to a freaking terrorist group responsible for the worst atrocity on American soil is the day I am embarassed for Alabama having me as a fan.

      The Iron Bowl isn’t simply famous for being vicious. It’s famous for ending seasons. 2012 is not a good example of that, but I’m beginning to wonder is this isn’t just trying to get a rise or if you’re actually serious. An Auburn fan should know how important the Iron Bowl has been for decades, including in the BCS era.

      I don’t honestly believe that you are serious. It’s one thing to be mad, but this sounds too much like a baited line and not an upset Auburn fan, especially an Auburn grad who would have been exposed to the history of the rivalry. I don’t buy it.

      Let’s be honest first, Petrino is not a bad hire for Auburn if it turns out to be true. And I don’t understand how you can think it’s absurd to suggest Auburn would hire him, if for no other reason than his proven track record in the same conference and Auburn’s need for immediate success, a need other losing SEC teams looking for coaches don’t have.

      And yes, finally, if you know about the Iron Bowl then you know it does come with bragging rights. It sounds like you’re trying to suggest only Alabama fans embrace those rights but instead you gloat on the past in your first paragraph. That’s fine, I understand that, but understand this; It’s Alabama’s time now. Auburn just lost the Iron Bowl by the largest margin ever and Alabama is going to play another team that held Auburn to zero points in the SEC title game for a chance at the BCS Title game.

      So yes, this is an Alabama site. The only thing that wouldn’t make sense is if it were not using this time to celebrate and have fun at Auburn’s expense. Welcome to the Iron Bowl rivalry. If you want friends, they’re on Nickelodeon. If you can’t hang with the men, maybe it’s best to avoid trying to smack talk the program that beat yours in legendary, record-setting fashion just days ago.

      Sorry about your loss. Roll Tide.

    • Ben November 28, 2012 at 12:43 pm #

      The best part about the above is that he actually thinks he made a point.

      • WhoreEagle December 1, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

        Only smart people would see his point. Sorry, Ben.

    • DES November 28, 2012 at 6:59 pm #

      Mr.Auburn- You are about one long-winded burp. After reading that you were from Carolina(N or S?) that told me everything that I needed to know about YOU. RTR

  6. Todd November 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    it is funny how all you bammers say we would sell our collective souls to beat you; but are ya’ll the ones that had to go out and find someone to pay $5.8m to because ya’ll got your asses kicked 6 out of 8 years.

    • pete4tide November 27, 2012 at 3:26 pm #

      And it’s also funny how all you barney’s are on a Bama blog site trying to make us believe we are the deluded ones. Good try, though.

      • Auburn November 28, 2012 at 7:19 am #

        And before you hit the ceiling of your trailer, let me explain that I am not combing through “Alabama blogs” as some have stated. This website popped up on Google News in response to a Petrino search, so I felt obligated to warn other non-Alabamians of the dark forest of pathetic human suffering they were wandering into by clicking on this elementary joke of a blog.

        • pete4tide November 28, 2012 at 8:56 am #

          Very noble, Aubie. I don’t believe you, though. But, thanks for the effort. Why don’t you go nail that piece of crap you penned above to one of Toomer’s oaks, if you think the poor trees can stand the abuse?

        • WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 9:28 am #

          “felt obligated to warn other non-Alabamians of the dark forest of pathetic human suffering they were wandering into by clicking on this elementary joke of a blog”

          Wow! Impressive!

          You really are pissed, aren’t you?!

    • BamaBrando November 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

      You barners are about to go “all in” and sell yourselves out, just to chase Saban. The fear is Auburn can’t afford to fall another year behind Saban. Too late for that, I hope every move Auburn makes implodes on them, and Auburn stays behind Vandy, Kentucky, and the Mississippi schools in the SEC for years. The wailing and crying from you guys is going to be so much fun to hear.

      When Bama was down, I hardly remember Auburn putting up 40 on Bama. My how things have changed since that 6 in a row you all were so proud of. Bama will likely get that six back plus a few more before Auburn can get it right. Especially if probation sets in.

    • ITK November 27, 2012 at 5:16 pm #

      Hiring the a dirt bag who screwed a student, lied to his president and placed the University in legal jeopardy is selling your soul.

      Sorry if that cuts deep, but it’s just true.

      Hiring the best coach in America, well, that’s just good business.

      Sorry if you can’t differentiate between the two. Must be a private hell you’re living in if you can’t see the difference.

      • Abraham November 28, 2012 at 8:43 am #

        “Hiring the a dirt bag who screwed a student, lied to his president and placed the University in legal jeopardy is selling your soul. ”

        Gee, I seem to recall a moron by the name of Dubose that also screwed a university employee; then lied not only to his president and AD about it but also issued a righteously indignant public denial; recanted 2 months later when he got cold busted; and placed his university in legal jeopardy costing the university hundreds of thousands of dollars. Bama’s response? Why dock the man’s pay and take a year off his contract, of course. Heaven forbid the man lose his job like everybody else in real freakin’ world would do under the same circumstances. After all, it was looking like Bama was about to have a good year in football. In fact, it was such a good year that Bama won the SEC 4 months later. So of course, all those sins were not only forgiven but Dubose was even given a raise and a contract extension. Of course, when Dubose posted a 3-8 season the next year the university fired him because that, my friends, is unacceptable performance at THE University of Alabama.

        Now explain that whole sex with an employee, lying to the president, university in jeopardy, definition of selling your soul thing to me again?

        • pete4tide November 28, 2012 at 8:57 am #

          Does this mean that DuBose is on the Barn’s short list, too?

        • WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 9:30 am #

          Wow! Going back to the Dubose years, huh?

          How long ago was that? Was Pat Dye still sober back then?

          • Abraham November 28, 2012 at 10:22 am #

            “Going back?” Gee, it was so long ago…let me try and remember who the associate AD was that steered Bama through that little debacle and was promoted to AD 6 weeks later…..Oh yeah, it was Mal Moore, the same guy who is still the AD now.

          • WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 11:24 am #

            I thought Aubies didn’t live in the past? I guess they do, when its convenient.

            BTW, beating Auburn has become boring now. When will ya’ll be good again (to at least make it interesting)?

          • Abraham November 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm #

            Snappy comeback. It almost made everyone forget that the entire conversation was about the sheer hyprocisy of both this article and the ensuing comments made by Bama fans. Almost.

          • WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

            I have to admit, Abe, glad you are here!

            Too bad you are an Aubie, you seem halfway intelligent. Why don’t you become a Bama fan? Its really great to be one right now!

          • Abraham November 28, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

            Whoreeagle, I must admit a pang of jealousy. It must be awful sweet to be a Bama fan right now. Truthfully, I’m even more jealous that Bama got the stars to align two years in a row to be able to get to the BCS Championship despite a loss. Auburn went convincingly undefeated in 2004 and couldn’t get in, only to watch a joke of an Oklahoma team get annhiliated. That’s what pi$$es me off more than anything.

        • The Conduit November 28, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

          @Abraham———You do understand that happened in the past and not since, right? Right.

          Because the point isn’t about it happening (although you be sure to come here first when you find out about Saban and Smart cheating, please), it’s about proclaiming family and righteousness and “us against the world” in a creed of penetance and sanctimony for the decisions made by Auburn and her culture.

          Alabama did not do that. They fixed the problem you’re pointing out, but they did not proclaim to be without sin and above moral reproach.

          Auburn did.

          Then one thing after another after another mad everyone realize the creed isn’t just inaccurate, it’s just as bad as the actions themselves that show it to be inaccurate.

          Alabama had problems. Bad ones. But Alabama looked to Alabama alone to fix them. They put the ball in their own hands and fixed their problems, all without proclaiming their status as the angel incarnate from all the cultures of the SEC West.

          It’s one thing to have problems. It’s another thing to let them get worse before they get better.

          But the worst part is lying about them through a creed while pointing fingers at Alabama who never did that in the first place. It would be like if OJ Simpson decided to counter-sue for wrongful imprisonment. Nobody’s buying it. I know it hurts right now. It must. I don’t know how bad it hurts but still, it’s gotta hurt being an Auburn fan in 2012. All in the fambly.

          Roll Tide.

          • Abraham November 28, 2012 at 4:30 pm #

            Conduit, on what basis do you say that Auburn claims to be above sin and moral reproach? Are you taking about a creed that George Petrie wrote in 1945? The creed doesn’t make any claim to be w/o sin and above moral reproach. Here’s what it does say. It states a belief that this is a practical world (actually says that in the first sentence); it states a belief in education; it states a belief in a sound mind and body and bold spirit; it states a belief in obedience to the law and country; and yes (heaven forbid) it states a belief in honesty and truthfulness. I guess you translate a belief in honesty and truthfulness to be synonymous with a claim to be without sin and to be above moral reproach. That makes a lot of sense.

            As to Alabama “fixing their problems”, they only fired Dubose because he lost football games. They didn’t fire him, i.e “fix their problem”, because he committed reprehensible conduct. To the contrary, they gave him a raise and a contract extension 4 months after settling a claim against him for sexual harassment. And that was done by the same AD at Bama that is still there now, so spare me the diatribe about Bama’s inner reflexion, self examination, and ultimate change in attitude. If Dubose would have kept winning he’d still be there now, and Bama wouldn’t care what he was doing to his secretary.

            By the way, please explain that bizzare OJ Simpson counter-suit analogy because I don’t have the slightest clue in the world what you are trying to say there.

    • The Conduit November 28, 2012 at 9:47 am #

      @Todd———Yep, Alabama, we’re the ones that had to go out and spent millions on a coach called “Nick Saban.”

      I’m not sure why you think anyone would regret that hire. It was a remarkable change and a great fit for Alabama’s program. He’s grossly underpaid when you add up how much revenue he has helped generate for the university.

      Yep. It’s funny, indeed.

  7. Auburn November 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

    “The Bama fan is vicious because he is your mama”

    Thank you Pete4Tide for validating my argument with a concrete example.

    • almightytmc1 November 28, 2012 at 6:21 am #

      Again. I will reiterate. You are saying that people from Alabama are backwards, (as well as a few other things). Yet you seem to be forgetting that your blameless beloved Auburn University is located in the state of Alabama and has a majority of Students that come from Alabama. Pot meet Kettle, Kettle meet Frying Pan. Frying pan meet head.

      • Auburn November 28, 2012 at 7:15 am #

        Listen guys, I know that it’s hard for Alabama fans to read anything longer than a paragraph, but it’s ok. I will help you, the following remark is at the END of the post, which is why you pre-schoolers must not have seen it.

        “And to all of the readers that believe I speak of all Alabamians, please be aware that I recognize that there are very many fine human beings in and from Alabama. It’s just that they go to Auburn.”

        • WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 11:25 am #

          Auburn needs some Kotex.

  8. ITK November 27, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    Auburn’s next coach is Bobby Petrino.

    Bank it. End of discussion. Can’t reveal how I know, but I know. Done deal.

  9. capstonereport November 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm #

    Honestly, I think Petrino is a good fit for Auburn.

    He is one of the best offensive coaches and does more with less than just about anyone in the conference.

    The big question is recruiting. Can Petrino recruit at a consistent level? There are two schools of thought on that. First, some think Petrino cannot recruit the best athletes and it won’t change much at a better school because of Petrino’s personality. The other view is that Petrino will fit within Auburn’s recruiting style that has been effective with Tuberville and Chizik.

    Make no mistake, when/if Auburn picks Petrino, I am going to laugh about it. The sanctimonious Auburn fans who preached God, Faith and Family have now fired two God-fearing, family-loving men and will hire a piece of crap in terms of morals.

    God, I love SEC football.

  10. Roberto Clemente November 27, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

    Wow you are a terrible writer. Sounds like someone should take their nose out of auburn’s ass

    • pete4tide November 28, 2012 at 9:00 am #

      And that would be why you are on here reading? Roberto, please feel free to find some site where they are writing wonderful prose about shitty football teams and join right in. No one can get their nose in any Auburn ass because your head is in the way.

  11. Chuch November 27, 2012 at 6:56 pm #

    Does the mistress get to join the fambly also since she is already all in?

    • # 1 al. fan November 28, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

      I would think that she would come only if she can get a raise along with a Harley complete with instructions…. RTR

  12. Chuch November 27, 2012 at 7:06 pm #

    It is pathetic to watch barners come on an opponent’s web-site to attempt to prove their intellectual and moral superiority when it s always been only about winning football games. All other crap they throw up is just a smokescreen and if they were winning they wouldn’t t feel the need to assert their supposed superiority. Every other fan base can accept the fact that their team and system is bad when they continue to lose. The barn s inferiority complex won t let them which is why they keep repeating the same events. No coach ever gets to leave the barn of his own volition. Sorry I borrowed that word from an intellectually superior barnite

  13. WhoreEagle November 27, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

    I’m just glad the Aubies came out from hiding, at least for today. It was getting boring in here.

    I especially liked “Auburns” thesis on Alabama fans. Pretty entertaining. Where else can you find the words Stupid, poor, tradition, trees, and Taliban! (Only an Auburn grad can come up with this shit!)

    Well, this 1999 Alabama grad who happens to live in North Carolina also, has only this to say…..

    Roll Tide!

  14. RC November 27, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

    I am a ’97 Bama grad, and I have seen plenty of ‘Bama beatdowns of Auburn and several close AU victories over pitiful Alabama teams. Auburn fans, alumni, and students are your typical bigoted, OLD SOUTH pile of hypocritical scum that gave our region a bad reputation pre-1964. Faith based University, my black ass. Auburn people HATE people who are different from their small minded cultish mentality. They will smile and put on that fake “southern” charm, but make no mistake about it, they hate people who don’t buy into their cultish, incestuous way of thinking. Look at all the HATE Auburn grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc have passed on to their spoiled Auburn brat. They actually believe Auburn is a great town despite pool shootings, trailer park robberies, coed murders, fraternity Klan parties, and the list goes on. Now, they want to replace a good Christian family man with a fornicating piece of trash.

    AU people also think that AU is a better school despite rankings from US NEWS, USA Today, Princeton Review that indicate otherwise. AU raised their entrance requirements to silently combat integration in the ’60′s. I know all about it, and so does the Southern Poverty Law Center. Great Christians, huh.
    I obtained a copy of the Auburn Creed, and I wiped my ass on it. Charmin was more expensive, and doesn’t leave a stench

    • WhoreEagle November 27, 2012 at 8:06 pm #

      Auburn fans won’t understand your Charmin analogy. They think toilet paper is meant for trees, not asses.

    • Abraham November 28, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

      RC, I thought you said you were a student at Auburn in 1985 when Bo Jackson won the Heisman. Now you claim to be a 1997 Bama grad? My goodness, how long did it take you to finish college? Next you’ll be claiming to have been a student at Ole Miss when Archie Manning was there. If I didn’t know any better, I might start thinking that you were full of crap.

  15. Bamabino November 27, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

    Just imagine a world in 15-20 years with a whole crop of mutated BARNERGEDDON babies all grown up.Scary thought.

  16. Crimsonite November 27, 2012 at 9:46 pm #

    Think of the fun we’re going to have with Tooth if Miles leaves for Arkansas. Bwaa Haww Haww! RTR!

  17. RC November 28, 2012 at 8:05 am #

    AUBURN

    Your University has cows grazing on campus. NOBODY, including your racist Auburn friends, will read 5 paragraphs of DRIVEL. Should I define that for you? Your precious Auburn is a backwards, OLD SOUTH, REDNECK, racist University founded by Klansmen and given a Land Grant by the State. Your grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, & parents have taught you to hate and be envious of the University of Alabama. We relegated Shug and your University to second fiddle in athletics and middle-tier in the SEC. Your “Star Wars” program was a massive failure in the ’80′s, and now you rank behind THE University of Alabama, according to the Princeton Review, US World Report, and all other reputable publications. Auburn grads who want real jobs obtain their MBA or Law degree from THE University of Alabama. Most AU grads with business degrees end up as bank tellers, receptionists, or social workers. Some who suck co– end up as CEO’s of major computer companies, but we won’t go there:)

    Most ppl who come on here that do not pull for UA or AU already know AU ppl are trash. Hypocritical too. 3RD all time in NCAA probations…and counting!!!! 49-0

    • DES November 28, 2012 at 7:14 pm #

      RC- Again you hit it right on the head.I have a feeling this Auburn person has just changed his handle to come back over here.The Flash was good at that.RTR

  18. Abraham November 28, 2012 at 8:59 am #

    An “incredibly prophetic story” posted in April that Auburn would hire Bobby Petrino. ITK, didn’t you post another “incredibly prophetic story” a couple of weeks ago saying AU would hire Gus Malzahn? Hey, maybe you can post a different “incredibly prophetic story” each day this week about a different coach that Auburn is sure to hire. You can start this afternoon with Jimbo Fisher, then Charlie Strong, then Gary Patterson, then Larry Fedora, then Kirby Smart, then Kevin Sumlin, then James Franklin, maybe Mike Gundy, and close out will Bill Belichik just to be safe. With any luck, it will be a couple of weeks before AU names a coach and you can post a story on every single possible candidate there is. Then, when AU names the coach you can point to your article and brag about what a prophetic genius you are, and we’ll all just forget about all the other articles you wrote.

    • The Conduit November 28, 2012 at 9:55 am #

      But the fact is he only said those two. Not dozens. Two.

      Again, sorry about your loss. So sorry.

    • BamaBrando November 29, 2012 at 9:15 am #

      What is ‘incredibly prophetic’ is the fact that we all have been saying Chizik was a 5-19 loser of a coach, and 2010 was just a FLUKE, incredibly lucky season. What does it take to get you Cult Members to see the truth?

      Here is how the Auburn Cult thinks:
      Win half your games miraculously after being pummeled for the first half and losing in the 4th quarter = God’s Team®

      Win 2 National Championships in 3 years, and beating almost everyone by 20+ points on the way = Saban is the devil!

      And now we are here: 49-0, Chizik is gone, and your biggest hope is to hire away one of the devils assistants.

  19. WhoreEagle November 28, 2012 at 9:38 am #

    If Auburn hires Petrino, it will be the greatest story of redemption since Saul on the road to Damascus.

    Because, only godly men coach at Auburn (here’s looking at you, Trooper!).

  20. Crimsonite November 28, 2012 at 9:51 am #

    Hey, fuk Awbie. They aren’t relevant. Let’s discuss Lester Mild and Arky. With that astounding hit on the Grass Eater, Arky has shown rhey are out for a pedigree, a coach with Natty’s on his resume. That pretty much narrows the field to a really funny bottleneck. Miles ‘aint leaving. Saban ‘ain’t leaving. Brown ‘ain’t leaving. Meyer ‘ain’t leaving. Stoops ‘ain’t leaving Okie. Carroll ‘ain’t leaving Seattle. Bowden is turning senile. Can you fuking imagine Cooper at Arky? Bwaa Haww Haww! The return of Lou Holtz? Never mind. That leaves 2 possibilities. Spurrier if he wants to double his salary and truly compete again is a real possibility. But wait – there’s one more and he comes with a Natty and a bargain basement price tag. HOW ABOUT CHEEZEDICK??? Arky and Cheezedick are made for each other. Both have high moral values, and Cheezedick has no front teeth! Wow! A match made in Heaven! You heard it first right here. RTR!

  21. Chuch November 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

    The only bad thing about last Saturday is that the barn can t get any worse .

    • BamaBrando November 28, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

      But we can still hope! Probation would be a fitting end to Chiziks time wouldn’t it?

    • yellowhammer November 29, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

      Not so fast my friend!!!

  22. RC November 28, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    Abraham,

    I defended my country from ’86-’92. What did you do except spend your douchebag daddy’s money?

    • Abraham November 29, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

      RC, what branch of the service were you in? What was your rank? Where were you stationed? Quite a career you’ve had, going from Auburn student in the early 80s to a military career to Bama student in the late 90s. For some strange reason, I’m still having a little trouble believing you.

  23. Fat_Dye November 29, 2012 at 7:27 pm #

    49-0
    Fat_Dye has spoken.

  24. RC November 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm #

    AU: 1985-86
    Marines: ”86-92. Camp Pendleton: MOS: 5811, Cherry Point, NC ’91-92

    UA: ’94-97

    I dont care if some trolling piece of s–t Auburn fan believes me or not, but there you go, loser Abe

    • Abraham November 30, 2012 at 8:36 am #

      RC, where did you finish boot camp and AIT? MOS 5811 is a pretty high rank, isn’t it?

    • WhoreEagle November 30, 2012 at 10:41 am #

      Thank you for serving our country.

  25. RC November 30, 2012 at 3:37 pm #

    Abraham–You pretentious hypocritical AU douchebag: MOS is NOT a rank, but you know that. I was a SGT (E-5) when I EAS in ’92. I went to boot camp at PI. Now, I’m waiting for that snappy, “I used Google” Comeback, pretentious self-righteous Auburn fans use

    Thanks WhoreEagle.

  26. RC November 30, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

    Also, it’s not “AIT”, it’s either MCT or SOI. AIT is Army, you hemorrhoid

  27. Abraham November 30, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    No need for me to google anything RC. I was a military brat. My dad was in the army, he was a helicopter pilot at Fort Rucker. You’re right, the MOS question was a total trap. You obviously served. Thanks for your service.

  28. Fat_Dye November 30, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

    Did you say you wanted a weiner?

  29. Bama Born December 7, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

    Auburn,

    Let’s start with these facts: you are approximately 27 year old, you are a native to Carolina, you have degree from the barn, and you “grew up asking your parents why BAMA fans are desperately consumed by football.”

    Did your great experiences from all the time you have had here on earth make you such an intelligent and wise person, or was it your degree from the barn?

    Why would one desire to be educated in such a poor and illiterate state?

    Since your parents could not answer the question as to why BAMA fans are desperately consumed by football, did your education answer this mythical question?

    Your life outlook is sad. The possession of an inferiority complex will destroy any chance of happiness in your life, and it will destroy all of the relationships you try to build.

    Those who understand the game of football know it emulates life. It takes a leader, submission to that leader, grit and determination, wisdom, individual sacrifice of time, body, and self, and correct timing to be a champion/winner. Those who know football understand life better. Quitting, blaming others, or tolerating loss is not acceptable.

    You can win all the scholastic awards imaginable. You can put your head in a book 24/7. But, until your work in educating yourself is proven in a field of work, you are nothing more than an unproven theory.

    As a BAMA fan, I hate to lose. It does matter if we lose to an inferior opponent, because it means we didn’t do our job. When we lose to a superior opponent, it means we haven‘t been doing our job. There is a difference.

    The barn is like a dog chasing its tail. It works hard to catch it, and when it does, it hasn’t a clue what to do with it. So, it starts chasing it again.

    Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer

  30. Hate Smurf Coach December 12, 2012 at 8:38 pm #

    The best statement about classless Alabama fans is this…”they don’t know how to win or lose with class.” There is not a truer statement. Here we are in the Redneck nations finest moment, and they are worried what AU is doing. Why should you care? Just go beat Notre Dame, the only team I hate worse than Bama.

    But ITK(Introverted Terd Knocker) actually publishes his Prophetic doctotoral dissertation about AU. What a total consumed douche bag.

    Here’s to your prophesy, Malzahn is the coach, and your prophesy was a hot bag of shit like yourself.

    Saloon

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