With the Olympics winding down, this week proved to be even more spicey than the one before. So much happened, it’s hard to know where to begin, but with the Olympics going bye-bye for another four years, it was a week of goodbyes for many.
One thing is for sure: USA Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney sure didn’t approve. This picture surfaced of the young athlete:
No one is sure what she’s looking at, or why she disapproved, but the picture was soon attached to every well-known event in history with the idea that whatever it was, it wasn’t good enough for McKayla.
Not one to shy away from ripping off a good idea, we here at capstonereport.com wanted to share our McKayla moments for the week.
First, we have the two mystery joggers who showed up at the University of Missouri’s practice, grinding the team’s summer preparation to a halt:
As the team practiced, these two perky, tanned vixens made their way into Faurot Field to run stadiums. Coaches had to go into the stands and ask the two glistening young ladies to come back later, as the team was “distracted” by their presence.
We have no problem with the young ladies. My gosh, who could? And we don’t believe McKayla would either. She understands what it takes to get in shape.
What we have a problem with is, the University of Missouri has practices where joggers can just stroll in? Ever heard of a closed practice, Tigers? Something tells me you ain’t ready for the SEC.
It was tempting to post the kind of game day vixens the Tigers could expect to see when they travel to the Swamp on November 3rd, but this is a family website. However, you can bet the Gators will have the sundresses and cowgirl boots ready for them. But if a couple of hotties can derail this team’s focus…or if the coaching staff has the lack of vision to prevent it from happening, Missouri, you can kiss your competitiveness in this league goodbye.
Speaking of Tigers, this week we said goodbye to Tyrann Mathieu:
The Honey Badger smoked his last as an LSU Tiger, having a history of failed drug tests. The LSU head coach Les Miles did not specify what the university and team rule was that Mathieu violated to be shown the door, but come on…we’re all adults here. Do we really have to guess?
Weed Honey Badger is weighing his options, but it’s been reported that he has already met with McNeese State. Good move there, Tyrann. May we all learn from your stupidity what it means to kiss everything we want goodbye over a little Cheech and Chong.
Okay, speaking of wacky weed, what are Auburn fans smoking?
This week it was discovered that the NCAA had been on the campus of Memphis’ Wooddale High School, investigating the transcript of Auburn runningback Jovon Robinson. As is the case with EVERY Auburn scandal, you just have to wait for the talking points to surface from the Auburn PR machine. Just take dramamine well in advance, and don’t drive or operate heavy machinery afterwards.
At the moment, Auburn fans are going with the “he didn’t know” excuse. Heck, it worked once in the $cam Newton saga. Now they’re going for two.
Don’t count on it to work though. So you’re going to tell me that the guidance counselor who resigned changed the young man’s entire transcript out of the goodness of her heart, for nothing, risking job loss and imprisonment?
Riiiiiiiight. The bottom line is, any college recruiting a student athlete has access to his transcripts every step of the way. If Auburn’s compliance department didn’t catch the discrepancy, going as far as to let him sign and enroll without meeting the basic eligibility requirements, isn’t that failure to monitor? Bama’s textbook issue several years ago was much more sterile than this, happening because of a similar miss by those paid to catch such discrepancies. Forget the car and who else might have been involved in the switch…it’s doubtful someone would do such a thing on her own.
We’re not talking about textbooks, a “sin” that cost Alabama six games in the 2007 season. We’re talking about academic fraud, which the NCAA takes more seriously than payola. And this from the university with a phantom sociology program, and whose very accredidation was on the chopping blocks not so long ago. There’s much we can say goodbye to here for the Tigers, but we’ll save that for another time.
But I for one would love to see the NCAA do a comprehensive check of the transcripts of all players entering Auburn in the last four or five years. They have good reason. After all, if their compliance peeps missed one they might have missed others. Was their natty won with ineligible players? (Other than Cam, obviously.)
Finally we have this:
Goodbye, Ryan Lochte. I’m so tired of people in my life comparing his upper body to mine, it’s just gotten to be ridiculous. The man admitted to peeing in the pool, for crying out loud. Okay, we’ve all done it, but I’ve never done so in an OLYMPIC pool.
True, there is a little bit of pectoral envy on my part, as my wife had to make a big deal about him every time he’s hit the screen in our house. It led me to have to dig into my photo archives for my own dignity, showing my family a time when I used to be in that kind of shape.
Okay, I’ve never been in his shape. But I was once closer, and I’m glad I have four more years to get myself ready for the Rio Olympics. I don’t care about gold. I just want to be able to go shirtless without shame.
Until next week…