Alabama Football: dark omens point to bad 2012 season

We’ve been upfront with our readers in trying to forecast the 2012 Alabama football season. So far, good things appeared on the horizon with the development of leadership and players improving with the repetitions of spring drills. However, this optimism is now gone. A truly bad portent has been reported via ESPN’s Tide Nation.

According to ESPN’s Alex Scarborough via twitter, “Alabama had its BCS Coaches Trophy crystal ball shatter on Saturday. Story coming soon. Here’s what’s left:”

Broken Crystal Shard from Alabama's BCS National Championship Trophy
Broken Crystal Shard from Alabama's BCS National Championship Trophy via ESPN's Alex Scarborough

This is the worst omen since Halley’s Comet’s 1066 apparition that presaged the fall of Harold II to William the Conqueror.

Halley's Comet and Harold II
Halley's Comet and Harold II

Other bad omens in history include the infamous brick through Curry’s window not hitting the former coach in the head, celestial events foretelling the fall of Julius Caesar in 44 BC, a horse’s head on a pillow from The Godfather and the continued blathering of Keith Olbermann.

All we Alabama fans can do now is resort to specialized protections to ward off this impending doom.

For this case, the best example is to consult renowned television personality and hex defeater Barney Fife.

Barney Fife
Barney Fife

His best advice is to use this incantation which he believed worked once in Mayberry, “Wink ‘um pink ‘um, nodamus rex, protect us all, from the man with the hex.” (Said while reaching your right arm over your head and touching your left earlobe with your eyes closed.)” Alternatively another protection could be had from this important spell, “Fly away buzzard, fly away crow, way down South where the winds don’t blow. Rub your nose, and give two winks, and save us from this awful jinx.”

20 Comments

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  1. 2
    Justthefacts

    Just the facts
    Bammer will not win 5 games next year FACT
    A contract that Saban signs is not worth the paper it is written on FACT
    Bama’s defense no where near as good as 2010 defense that lost 3 games FACT
    LSU will rule the West DOUBLE FACT
    Enjoy being on the bottom OH Nooooo FACT
    Spanky will push McCarron until he cracks FACT
    LSU has better QB FACT
    Better D FACT
    More experience FACT
    Better RBs FACT
    Will learn from New Orleans loss FACT
    Will play mad FACT
    No Jefferson this year to throw the game FACT
    Will lose to Arkansas FACT
    Will lose to Michigan FACT
    Will lose to A&M FACT
    Will lose to Mizzou FACT
    Will lose to LSU TRIPLE FACT
    Will lose to Auburn FACT
    Will lose to MS St FACT
    I’m never wrong. If I am I’ll eat a bug. FACT
    Time to face the facts Bammers

    • 3
      finebammer

      i see you’ve finally got the 21 bugs out of your teeth, boris.

      hope you’ve developed a taste for them cause there’s more coming your way.

      he he he.

    • 4
      BamaBrando

      All the pressure is on LSU this season. The fan base won’t accept anything but a National Championship. Saban has Miles’ number, and if Miles loses the west to Bama this year, you neurotic LSU fans will run Miles off. LSU was over rated all last season, and they will be again this season. Bama will be better than LSU AGAIN.

  2. 5
    Crimsonite

    I got a bug you can eat, shit for brains. Better yet go eat Truth’s bug cause he has a big one up his ass. You two deserve each other cause one of you don’t know shit and the other ‘aint got a clue. I guess it’s true what inbreeding does to the intelligence quotient. FACT! Bama 2012 – Repeat. FACT! Bama #15 – 2012. FACT!

  3. 6
    # 1 al. fan

    All the crap aside, I always thought that there was a fake crystal when it involved being moved about for various events. I seem to recall someone saying that there’s a fake crystal just for that purpose…… oh well the Tide will have another one come January of next year!! RTR

    • 8
      Crimsonite

      A Bama fan? Horseshit! From your posts I think you’re the same asshole posting under a new name who for the past few years has been ragging all over several Bama players asses. As if you could do any better. No real Bama fan acts like you. Like I said, you’ve got a bug up your ass. Probably got kicked off the Tiny Mite team for sucking cock in the shower, and that makes you an expert on football. Bwaa haww haww! AJ in his first year threw 5 interceptions in 13 games and won a National Championship playing against the nations 2nd best defense and looking better than Andrew Luck, RG III and Brandon Wheedon combined while doing it. 5 interceptions in 13 games and not a one cost the team a point. And you come on here ragging him for throwing 3 in a phucking scrimmage where here threw 42 passes against the most talented athletes in the country? He threw 2 iNT’S in LAST YEARS scrimmage while throwing only HALF as many passes. In summary dude, you’re no Bama fan – you’re just an Asshole! RTR!

  4. 11
    DES

    Hate that this happened. Also hate that Borrazz found his way over here. Now he might have been posting under some other name. Eat bugs? You might as well. Last season you had to eat your hat, socks and jock. What was it…. 58 to 3 or something like that? Take your facts back to the swamps. 21 to zip. RTR

  5. 15
    bamatruth77

    lol bullshit i call it like it is not how i dream it to be!! ive forgotten more about alabama football than you will ever know transvestite!!! you can take that shit to the bank boy!

  6. 16
    bamatruth77

    and once again transvesite you show your love and passion for cock sucking in your posts! that cant be healthy!! hey yall who wants to set the over/under fr how many times transvestites stomach has been pumped due to swallowing to man cum wads???

  7. 17
    Crimsonite

    I doubt that cocksucker, since I’ve been keeping up with Bama football for 48 years. And you can ask them all you want but you won’t be getting a hell of a lot of support on this site – not from Bama fans anyway. Only the Barnturds, Corndogs and Indiana Vol would listen to your dumbass. But go ahead oh Swami. Give us some more of your enlightened opinions. There are still 23 more positions on the team. We can only hope and pray that your assessments are as full of shit as they are about AJ Mccarron. Else Bama should just go ahead and forfeit the 2012 season instead of wasting everybody’s time. Bwaa haww haww! RTR!

  8. 18
    bamatruth77

    no you have been regurgitating what everyone else already knows for 48 years get it right! try coming up with a thought of your own instead of riding the jock strap of others like you do day in and day out! im not here looking for support from you ir anyone else on my opinions! i said last spring that cade foster was a shitty kicker and uou slobbered all over his nuts just like you are now about aj! btw why did we lose to lsu again?? i think it was because mcarron couldnt complete a pass once we got past the 50 yard line and foster couldnt kick soooooo yea hang your hat on the bcs performance jerky btw he shoulda had about 400+ yards and at least 4 td passes in that game guess he was just putting on a show then too huh?? lol you are a walking void! ill now sit back and wait for your references to your real passions in life! cock sucking and cum swallowing! maybe youll throw in a little anal fisting this time who knows!!

  9. 19
    Crimsonite

    You’re one of the dumbest Son of a Bitches who’s ever posted on here. Just another piece of retarded internet trash. You think because you finger fucked you coaches ass that now you’re a football expert. Rant all you want cocksucker. The more you run your cum hole the more stupid everybody else on here knows you are. I personally don’t give a shit about your opinions anymore because they’re phucking irrelevant. But first I’ll say this. The only thing wrong with Cade Foster is self confidence. As for McCarron you shit for brains, playing maybe the toughest schedule in history, LSU’s second in the nation defense gave up more passing yards to only one QB last year and that was a spread QB who’s team scored 72 points against the ACC Champion. I do believe that no one went undefeated last year and of all the once beatens only Alabama lost by just three and to the then #1 team. I’ll excuse AJ and the offense for that one. You dumbassed bastard. Over and out. Go fuck yourself and pray you never run into me. RTR!

  10. 20
    bamatruth77

    lmao you really are a flaming homo dude you just cant help refering to sucking or fucking another guy can you? i bet your breath smells like burnt vaseline !!! its ok tho no one on this site puts stock in a word you type! they keep you around for entertainment purposes only! when you provide itk with some info regarding something thats yours originally and not a spin of someone elses tale on something!… then just maybe they will find some relevance in your existance on this site til then youre not even a has been youre a neer fuckig was!!!! oh btw congrats on goong to school with stabler! how many times did you repeat high school?hell you claim to know or have gone to school with 95% of the former coaches and players to ever come thru bama!!!! fuktard

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