UAB rumored to have had a spring game

No one was for certain, and with little or no eye witness accounts available making it extremely hard to verify, rumors were rampant over the weekend that UAB’s fledgling football albatross program may have held a spring game last Saturday.

The team that tarps entire end zone sections in surrender to the realization that it’ll never attract a real fan base concluded spring practice on the Southside of Birmingham, reportedly.

“I was walking to the Arby’s from the VA,” said Stanley Schmidt, “and I swore I heard some sort of whistle. Like what a coach would blow. I don’t know.”

The Blazers, who have fielded a money pit team since the early 1990’s, play their games in historic Legion Field, reportedly. But an ultimate Frisbee exhibition was already on the books for the Old Gray Lady when UAB scheduled their game that was suggested to have happened last Saturday.

UAB, members of the gritty Conference USA, faced plenty of obstacles to having a crowd of any kind for a spring game.

Of course, Alabama drew the largest crowd for a spring game in state history with a record 92,310. Then there was Auburn with another 50,000 or so. Then Talledega was filled with race fans. Then Alabama State held their game. Then the Barons were in town. Then there was an antique cruise-in at the Home Depot in Trussville. Then there were several neighborhood yard sales in Pleasant Grove, Decatur and Pelham. Then the Sonic in Gardendale extended its happy hour, offering half off beverages from one till five.

If the game did occur, the odds were simply stacked against those adorable little Blazers.

Sources believing that the game happened were confirmed Saturday night when all four Birmingham network news stations devoted time on their Saturday night broadcasts to UAB, juxtaposing footage from their game that drew tens right next to Alabama and Auburn highlights. Sports announcers for each station were said to have accompanied the UAB clips with phrases like “Ooooo, that’s a good catch by that player right there,” and “Man, he can run.”

Sadly, no one interviewed by capstonereport.com had seen these segments as they were watching the DVR recordings of their school’s spring game at the time of the broadcasts.

(Follow me on Twitter for capstonereport.com news, commentary and smack.)

22 Comments

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  1. 1
    Robert4UA

    Do we really have nothing better to talk about than another school’s spring – emphasis on spring – football game? This is pathetic. Do you have UAB envy or something? Please don’t embarrass the University of Alabama anymore. This isn’t even an orginal article – UAB gets enough crap for their football tea.

    They may have a mediocre football team, but at least they were able to get into the NCAA baskeetball tournament. We pay our coach almost $2M a year and can’t do that…

  2. 2
    ITK

    Robert, your alma mater will be happy to know you faked a screen name and came to their defense.

    Job well done, and hope I got your likeness right in the cartoon.

  3. 4
    BAMAToNE

    I don’t know if Robert is faking a screen name or not, but here’s my take:

    We don’t need to make fun of anybody. Really, what’s the point? Should we be gleeful that another program somewhere (up the road or otherwise) is floundering? Do I care to read about it at the Capstone Report?

    This blog reports on the Crimson Tide. Stories about other schools are certainly warranted when the news impacts The University of Alabama. For example, when South Carolina suspends Garcia for the 892374238th time or all the possible NCAA violations occurring on the Plains.

    UAB athletics is not on par with other programs in this state. We all know that. But I really think it does all of us a disservice to sit here and make fun of other schools just for the “fun” of it. It may sound a bit trite, but “What would Bear do?” He wouldn’t be trashing other programs like this.

    Class. We preach it. We need to display it, too.

  4. 7
    Indiana Vol

    Once again, Bammer Morons are being STUPID!

    Until Bammer becomes unafraid to schedule UAB, you have no right to be running off at the mouth about the UAB program.

    GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND PLAY UAB; CHICKEN $HIT BAMMER!

  5. 9
    UAB4UA

    I have never understood this hate and animosity some Alabama fans have for UAB. I have been an Alabama fan all my life, but I also attended and graduated from UAB and I’m a UAB fan as well. We all hate Auburn, lol, but not all fans of Alabama hate UAB. I know back in the 80’s Bartow and Wimp had their feuds about the recruiting of Buck Johnson, Boddy Lee Hurt, Alan Ogg and Reginald Turner, but so what ? I just can’t understand what it is that causes people from Alabama to feel this way toward UAB. Why can’t both teams be successful ? Why can’t both teams shine in the spotlight ? Is it fear that UAB’s success will interfere with possible future championships at Alabama ? Really ? That’s one arrogant attitude that I, as both an Alabama and UAB fan, do not feel nor share. And if you look at it for what it is, it makes those Alabama fans that feel that way look like the very Auburn fans we so dispise.

  6. 10
    BamaBrando

    There goes Idiot Vol once again being a MORON! He is STUPID! And a TYPICAL inbred Tennessee hillbilly! Get ready for another beatdown Vol, it is coming, no matter how many STUPID remarks you make on a Bama site. MORON! Maybe UAB will whip UT since they seem to have some close games. TYPICAL. It is not important for Bama to play UAB. And you are very STUPID if you think fear is the reason they don’t play. Actually, you are very STUPID regardless. MORON!

  7. 11
    ITK

    UAB4UA, first of all, seek counseling if my little poke at the Blazers hurt you that deeply.

    It is what it is, friend. And look, you’re the same guy who will get goosebumps at your next chance to call Alabama “UAT”, but want to cry foul when we kick you in the chops whenever we want.

    Get over it. Achieve something on the gridiron before you cry foul over getting made fun of for the sham that UAB football is.

  8. 12
    Indiana Vol

    Fact: When UAB first fielded a team, the powers that be at Bammer U said they would never play UAB. Why; because Bammer is afraid of losing to poor little UAB!

    When you play UAB, you can poor-mouth the program; otherwise SHUT UP!

  9. 13
    Indiana Vol

    “I just can’t understand what it is that causes people from Alabama to feel this way toward UAB.”

    Let me explain; it is the bottom-feeder Bammer Morons that frequent this site that make the entire Bammer Nation look bad. Idiots like BammerBRENDA, ITK, Crimsonite (aka EGGhead White), Rc (aka Rotten Crotch) and Bammerlies77 are the reason Bammer fans get a bad wrap.

  10. 14
    BamaBrando

    Fact: Idiot Vol is an inbred one-tooth blow hard that trolls Bama sites in an effort to take the sting out of how far his mighty Vols have fallen. He is stuck on Bama vs. UAB, roots for Auburn, and won’t ever acknowledge the truth about his own program. The truth is, Bama is about to beatdown UT again, and that is not saying much since the rest of the SEC is also doing it too. So in reality, VOL, you just need to worry about your own team beating UAB. I understand they have given you all you want. Sounds like you really are a little scared of playing them yourself. That doesn’t mean Bama is. Fact: Saban owns UT. He made Fulmer piss his pants in his last years of coaching.

  11. 16
    BamaBrando

    Can’t get any lower than a low-class VOL trolling on a Bama site. I notice you have no response to FACTS I just slapped you around with. So, how did UTs spring game go? HAHAHA! I guess you can look forward to women’s basketball yet again.

  12. 18
    viritus

    What’s one good reason why Alabama should play UAB in football? There’s no upside to Alabama, especially when you look at the money side, because a lot of UAB fans follow UA as their primary football team. It’s not like Alabama/Auburn where you have two distinct fan bases.

    Then if you look at the football side of things, scheduling UAB would be like scheduling Boise State — if you win, everyone thinks you were supposed to win and you don’t get anything for it. If you lose, everyone thinks you were supposed to win, and you get slaughtered in the rankings. This is by no means saying that I think UAB stands a chance for the foreseeable future, but just that the entire idea doesn’t wash.

  13. 20
    BamaBrando

    Vol, your posts here consistently show how simple minded you are. You never speak in facts, or try to have a conversation. It is juvenile name calling, threats, and overall obnoxious, predictable BS. And you are calling someone an ASS. Are you that bitter because Bama keeps spanking that ass each year? It is not stopping anytime soon either. Just get used to the butt hurt, and you really need to seek some therapy. It’s just a game, dude. Seems like you would get tired of being made into a fool, and not show up here anymore.

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