The Cult of Aub

When it comes time to circle the wagons, nobody does it like the Auburn Family. Story after story brought bad news to the Auburn masses Wednesday, but the stories had nothing to do with Auburn. This was some vast conspiracy controlled by some wizard in Tuscaloosa with cohorts in Bristol, New York City and other exotic places.

So, what is an Aub to do?

Why not prank call a reporter?

The telephone number of one Thayer Evans of Fox Sports was purportedly passed around Facebook and Auburn Internet message boards Wednesday evening.

One outraged Auburn fan defended the conduct (on what is now an inaccessible Facebook status update, but was screen grabbed by an attentive tipster). The Auburn fan (who holds a law degree) declared, “Thayer Evans’ cell # is (713) XXX-XXXX. Call him and let him know what you think of his ‘reporting’ on the Cam Newton situation.”

Then he defended it. He said, “Actions have consequences…even for members of the media. … “honesty and truthfulness and obedience to law are (part of the Auburn Creed). Mr. Evans believes in neither. That his aims coincide with yours is not an excuse for you to advocate such mendacity and lawlessness.”

On one notorious Auburn message board, Tiger fans were devising ways to make the best use of the telephone number. CraigsList was one option jovially suggested. (The Capstone Report sent an email to Mr. Evans in an effort to determine if he received any of these prank calls or if these Auburn fans were only Internet tough guys.)

But there are other signs of the Auburn Family on display during this crisis. Football fans are passionate about the sport; teams are almost sacred.


But some take the devotion to an extreme. These photographs were being passed around showing the Auburn devotion to Cam on display during the most recent football game. (Warning: some Christians might find the following photographs offensive.)

Aubie the Auburn Tiger mascot at Saturday’s game wore preacher robes and carried a sign that said, “When the Lord be blessin, the Devil be messin.”

If you doubt the authenticity of the photograph, the Auburn Beat tweeted that it really happened.

Perhaps most disturbing was this image of Cam being crucified that made an appearance on one Auburn message board in the signature line of a fan.

Cult or simply devotion? You can find extreme behavior in any group, but the Can Newton crisis is showing a bad side of the Auburn Family.


Add Yours
  1. 3
    Alex Hamilton

    Hilarious. Isn’t it interesting that all the condescending statements that Aubs from Housel to the blue bloods in Brook to the rednecks in East Alabama ACCUSE Alabama fans of doing, the Abarn fans are actually doing.

    I’ve always said that Abarn confuses football with religion. I’ve also always said that Abarn Runs off coaches in the same way that a bad baptist church gets together to run off an unliked preacher.

    Thanks for proving me right Auburn fans.

    Oh, and post the name of the Auburn alum lawyer that posted Thayer Evans number and we can post his number as well.

  2. 6

    BP*, that is one of your own doing that crap. And you was buying into that crap too, earlier this year. Auburn fans are the nuttiest bunch in the SEC, likely the nation. It just took a scandal like this to expose you fools for what you really are. And I agree with Cap, it is funny you all accused Bama of doing the very thing that is going on at Auburn right now. But Bama will march on, and improve. Auburn will likely be reeling from this still when Bama is reeling in number 14.

  3. 9

    To be honost with you, I am not all that concerned about it….I haven’t a clue as to what happened or what will be found in the investigation, so why worry about it..

    All I know is this ( and it happens to be the ONE thing your base doesn’ want to talk about), Auburn is going to stomp a mudhole in Bamas rear on the 26th…

    Why is it that you people want to talk about EVERYTHING besides the game ?

    I’ll tell you why….You already know what is going to happen.

  4. 10

    Nope. Bama is gonna spank that ass like I told you they would. Auburn is just on the brink of the biggest college football scandal in history. Could even get the death penalty if this is true.

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