Don’t worry AU fans! It is a CONSPIRACY!!!


Photo via: Tin Foil Hat Guide

Auburn propagandist Phillip Marshall just blamed the whole Cameron Newton recruiting mess on a vast right-wing conspiracy, or the Red Elephant Club’s mind control rays or some cabal between the Stonecutters, the CIA and Castro.

Did you know Alabama Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban is a member of the West Virginia chapter of the Illuminati?

Well Phillip Marshall and Auburn Undercover know!

And Marshall is hot on the trail to expose all the nefarious forces seeking to harm Auburn. Today’s column exposes it for all the Family to see.

According to Marshall, “That there is an orchestrated campaign to bring down Auburn football is no longer in doubt. The drip, drip, drip of information being given to national news outlets isn’t happening by accident. … More is probably coming… I don’t claim to know who is behind all this, although it’s pretty clear that Alabama and Mississippi State boosters are involved on some level. It’s also clear Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen, whose feelings were hurt when Newton went to Auburn, is enjoying this immensely.”

Alabama boosters? Really?

Are you just making shit up and throwing it against the wall. Like you accused reputable media outlets like the New York Times, ESPN, etc.? Just trying to make yourself feel better? Or do you really believe that Alabama Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban, Dan Mullen and Urban Meyer are all actively orchestrating a campaign to destroy your beloved Auburn Tigers?

Would Nick Saban even have time for that shit? Or your shitty program?

I’m blaming the Stonecutters. They control the British Crown, and keep the metric system down. They rig every Oscar night. So, yeah, Stonecutters are evil. Evil!

22 Comments

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  1. 2
    pete4tide

    Just a warm-up practice game, BP! Just doing a favor for an ex-coach that got treated less than favorably – and he’ll get more of that tonight.
    You need to worry about what is being dug up on the Fambly as we speak – you will soon know what it is like to wish for a coach like Curry to come and pull your pitiful team out of the gutter and put them back on the straight and narrow.

  2. 3
    BPI

    Nah…I am pretty content with being undefeated and winning the west…And will be much more gratified when Fairley plants McElnerd like the daisy he is on the 26th on way to a Iron Bowl win..Then proceeding to an SEC championship over a team we alreay whipped once ( you know SCAR , the team that whipped you ?)….

    THEN, going to the BCS and beating a highly overrated Oregon team..

    Nah…Not too worried.

  3. 6
    Alex Hamilton

    Ignorant idiots like Marshall and Big Pussie Injun are the reason this is all so sweet.

    Again, if you have the time, or are literate (which I sincerely doubt BPI is literate or could make it through this saga in less than an day) you can read all about why this is now coming to light in this rant.

    http://www.tigerdroppings.com/rant/messagetopic.asp?p=22778676

    BPI, your phucking program has been under investigation by the FBI, and the funny thing is that it’s all because two of your most prominant buyers of players or participants in the PFP program have brought Hell’s wrath on you.

    The most funny thing about it is how naive “grown men” like you and Phillip Marshall are. You all think that Michael Dyer, Kodi Burns, Ziemba, Dakota Mosely, Nick Fairley and $cam Newton came to Auburn to be part of the “family”.

    You are truly the most delusional, stupid asses I have ever seen in my life.

    I’ll be there to roll Tumors Corner when you get the Death Penalty, Bittches!!!!

  4. 7
    Crimsonite

    Smoking the peyote again are we Butt Plug? You haven’t won anyhing and you won’t either. You have played an ineligible player in every game. You are 0-11. If this all becomes official before Dec 4th, the SEC will not allow you to play in the Championship game. There is nationwide pressure on the NCAA to make decisions before the BCSNCG because nobody wants Awbren phucking everything up for everybody else. You see numbnuts, it’s irrelevant at this particular moment whether Awbren paid for Camila or not and is going to get curb stomped by the NCAA. What the whole country is pissed about is that Camilla is ineligible beyond any doubt and therefore Awbren has to forfeit every game he has played in or will play in. That is gonna happen whether Awbren gets slammed for cheating itself or not; and nobody wants a team that will ultimately be 0-14 playing in championship games a phucking up other legitimate teams seasons. One other thing Tard. I’ll lay my check against yours that Fartly doesn’t sack McElroy once. RTR!

  5. 8
    BPI

    Holy crap dude….Why don’t we let the NCAA do their jobs and take all the information into account and make a decision…I’ll tell you this. I will stank behind whatever decision they make. If they come to the conclusion Cam is eleigable , I’ll stand behind it. If they give Auburn sever sanction, I’ll stand behind it.

    Unlike you wusses, who could see that you did no wrong in theAlbert Means case.

    Or the textbook case..

    Or the agen case….

    Why don’t we just let em play and whoever wins, wins ????????

    If you are willing to bet your check agaisnt Nick Fairley not sacking McElnerd (not exactly mobile), you are brick wall stupid…

    Besides, I wouldn’t want to take your only source of income that arrives in the mail once a month (welfare)……

  6. 9
    BamaBrando

    Cam WILL be declared ineligible at some point, regardless if he took money from Auburn or not. His dad and a third party shopped him around. That is against the rules and those are FACTS.

  7. 11
    crimson hammah

    PER DAN MULLEN – THE NCAA BELIEVES EVERYTHING MISS ST , X PLAYERS , JODY WRIGHT HAVE TOLD THE NCAA – CHECKMATE – FBI 101 – GO AFTER ALL THE TWIGS AND OWN THEIR AZZ AND TAKE IT TO THE HIGHER UPS AND OFFER DEAL TO NAIL THE AZZEZ OF THE BIG TARGETS

  8. 12
    crimson hammah

    THE FBI AND NCAA OWN THE NEWTON’S AZZEZ AND IF THEY WANT IMMUNITY TO TAX EVASION ETC – THE NEWTON’S WILL SING ON EVERYTHING THEY KNOW ON THE OVERALL PFP APPARATUS AT AU

  9. 13
    crimson hammah

    RIGHT AGAIN – TOLD YA – CAM COULD NOT HIT WIDE SIDE OF A BARNER , CANNOT READ DEFENSES…GREAT TE,AVG RB,TURRIBLE QB

    PER TODD MCSHAY – CAM NOT IN FIRST ROUND …A VINCE YOUNG SLUG AT BEST …CAN’T READ DEFENSES…SHOULD SWITCH TO TE

  10. 14
    almightytmc1

    It appears that Phillip Marshall owes way to much money to Bobbeh. A loan here, a forgiven debt there… etc …etc…And pretty soon the devil own’s your soul and your mouth. What kiss-as phil should be asking are the following questions.
    Why ever would the NCAA and FBI be trying to tie PFP, election rigging and racteteering charges to Auburn University?
    If he had a shred of credibility left he would be mentioning the Colonial Bank $25 billion dollar fiasco.
    Anyone who knows anything in this life knows the U.S. Government is going to chase every dollar that was lost. Too many investors and too many citizens lost money.

    http://money.cnn.com/2009/10/09/news/companies/bobby_lowder.fortune/index.htm

    Since the BOT from Colonial contains Bobbeh, Jimmeh, Johnneh, pat and Spina, (And so does the BOT at Auburn University), naturally the wiretaps came up with some good shit.
    I can gaurantee you that Election rigging, possible fraud and PFP are only a part of it. And that is why they are leaning hard on Uncle Milty right now.

    Who knows, Maybe Phillip might want to research why one of Auburn University’s biggest boosters is being prosecuted for Election rigging. (Racketering) But… I digress. That would be too much like being right for the spineless paltroon we all know and love named Phillip Marshall.
    The question that keeps coming back into my mind is…. did the Auburn cronies gang actually think the Federal government would not climb up thier butts with a microscope after Colonial went under? Are they so delusional that they didnt see what was going to come?
    And is there an Auburn fan rationale enough to see what such a large scale investigation might pull up?
    Everything…. EVERYTHING would have to be squeeky clean at Auburn for them to get a pass this time. My money is that the NCAA and the government will start offering some plea bargains to some people and BPI… my freind. If that happens. Auburn will lose more than 14 games this season.
    They have a real chance at the death penalty, or losing accreditation through SACS and getting kicked out of the SEC.
    The truley sad news is they would never get voted back in. The SEC already has a bad enough reputation this year. No one would forget or forgive Auburn for dragging it that much lower.

    BPI.
    In a more local front. If you think Nick Saban will alow Auburn to walk out of Bryant-Denny unscathed you have lost your mind.
    This is still Nick Saban this is still the defending national Champs.
    This is still Bryant- Denny stadium.
    And I can promise you if Fairley tries some of his home field antics here. You might need to dig a big fat hole for his big fat ass.
    See, Bama has some big ol’ boys too. And they might not take too kindly to ol’ Nick spearing McElroy. But then again. (Un)fairley probably wont be so bold when he knows there will be a retailation. Lose to Bama, Take a beat-up team to Atl. Lose to SC. Take a beat up team to the whatever bowl and once again show the world that Auburn is still an embarrassment.

  11. 15
    Phly2theMoon

    I don’t think that they’re leaning on Milty. I think that the FBI is trying to FLIP him. Turn him on the BIG FISH. Sing about LOWDER for a lighter sentence. The first thing the cops do is gather witnesses, and what better witness is someone that you’ve already got by the balls? You don’t think that this scumbag would sell the AU family down the river for a year of freedom? Then you’re as dumb as your quarterback….

  12. 16
    DAMAGE INC.

    I thing Phly2theMoon has made a lot of sense. Investigations take time. It’s a shame it can’t be done in a “couple of weeks before the championship game” because that’s not feasible.

    Patience — good things come to those who wait.

    Unfortunately Aubarn makes money and there will be no death penalty — but it’ll be TV ban, BOWL ban, and forfeiture of everything — and the Heisman committee will slam themselves in the face again for another Reggie Bush.

    Trust … as an Alabama fan, we would all love for the NCAA to throw the hammer on frAUd right now — but it just isn’t going to happen. Mike Slive doesn’t want to embarrass his conference because we have OWNED the BCS in the past umpteen years — he wants Aubarn to have a shot at Oregon in a “potential” — sad to say Oregon plays defense and they put up even higher numbers than the pay for play $camputer.

    Everything will shine like Cecil Newton’s Cadillac rims in the future — the FBEye office running this in Birmingham and Jackson, MS KNOWS WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON. THEY GET IT.

    NCAA forced to punish the barner’s — BAD due to NATIONAL pressure from ESPN and Co. —

    It’s good to be Crimson.

  13. 17
    Crimsonite

    Com’on BPI, I’m willing to abide by the NCAA decision too. But don’t try to compare this bullshite to anything Bama has ever done. Especially the rediculous phucking textbook thing. And as for Means, he never attended Alabama. The Means dumbass booster/agent fiasco never had a chance to materialize at Bama, and the NCAA sanctions were nothing more than a Witch hunt. RTR!

  14. 18
    BPI

    Crimson…Thanks for proving my point…The NCAA sanctions put on Bama were fair, and needed…As far as Auburns case being different..Yes, in the fact that nothing has been proven.

  15. 20
    Crimsonite

    Oh yes, something has been proven. It has been emphatically proven that Newton was shopped by his father and an agent and he knew about it. Unless you are going to call every witness in this case a lier and then think they are all stupid enough to lie to the FBI, the MSI and the NCAA. And if they are’t all fabricating the same monumental lie, then it has been undeniably proven, and the NCAA can at their leisure (and eventually will) make null and void Barnies entire season. This will happen whether Barnie paid one red cent for Camilla or not. Your goose is cooked already dude. The hammer will drop in the NCAA’s own good time. And because the Awbie administration refused to sit him before the Georgia game the sanctions will be worse. RTR!

  16. 21
    crimson hammah

    PER DAN MULLEN IN RIVALS RADIO INTERVIEW-THE PEOPLE WHO HAD A STORY TO TELL TOLD THEIR STORY TO THE NCAA AND THE NCAA BELIEVES US ”
    EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED” MS ASST COACHES WERE EXTORTED FACE TO FACE BY CECIL NEWTON WITH ROGERS AS A WITNESS AND HAS TESTIFIED TO THE FACT THAT MS COACHES SAID “WE DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT MONEY”
    NCAA WE BELIEVE MULLEN MS COACHES BOND BELL OTHER WITNESSES JODY WRIGHT,NOT SCUM NEWTONS

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