Chiznik knows him some quarterbacks

“I’ve been around some great quarterbacks as a defensive coordinator, starting with Daunte Culpepper. You’ve got Jason Campbell. You’ve got Vince Young. You’ve got Colt McCoy.”

Abarn head coach Frank Chiznik

Frank Chiznik wants you to know something.  His quarterback, which has never taken a meaningful snap of college football, is likened to Heisman Trophy winning Vince Young.

His expertise as a defensive coordinator leads him to say authoritatively that Camputer Newton is as good as three time Pro Bowl quarterback Daunte Culpepper.

Though his abarn team was among the worst tackling defensive squads in the SEC last year, don’t let that fool you.  Chiznik is a defensive genius. He can spot talent. Which is why he tapped Ted Roof to man his D for him.  And we know how good Roof is.

But it’s that keen eye that gives Frank Chiznik the wherewithal to look you in the eye and say without hesitation that his young, laptop stealing, ex-Gator reprobate is every bit as good as the winning-est quarterback in Texas football history.

Totally dismiss that Camputer was “held out” of the spring game when ESPN2 finally ended coverage of a high school lacrosse match (true) to show up on the scene in abarn’s A-Day game.

It wasn’t like the laptop leader needed live game action in front of a crowd.  He played in front of dozens every Saturday as a Blinn Community College Buccaneer last season.  Taking that team all the way to the top against competition Georgia State or South Alabama would have a hard time handling speaks volumes.

And Chiznik knows it.

The SEC has no idea what’s about to be unleashed on them.  Chiznik doesn’t either, really, because the Dell delinquent has been held out of major participation in at least one scrimmage this fall as well.  But don’t let that fool you.  This Apple architect has a cool name…Cam Newton…and he once suited up for a dominant community college football program.  Hence, he has to be good.

That’s what the media is selling right now as it tries to balance its coverage of abarn football in the state.  After all, the other half buy newspapers, click their mouses and tune in too.  They deserve some spin, regardless of its credibility.

And finally others are sitting up and taking notice.  Kirk Herbstreit had some kind words to say about the HP QB and abarn as well, with some solid predictions to follow.  Forget that this will be the 23rd season in a row he’s picked USC and Ohio State to meet for all the marbles.  Doesn’t matter my friend.

I for one am finally on board.  Just please disregard the fact that you would never…ever…hear two-time national champion head coach Nick Saban, world famous for avoiding comparisons of players, saying Brandon Gibson reminds him of Michael Clayton.

That doesn’t matter.  We need good news out of Lee County to compete with real news out of Tuscaloosa.

And from now on, consider me subscriber numero uno. I haven’t been this excited since the great Kodi Burns returned for his sophomore season after his cram-session spread performance against mighty Clemson in the Peach Bowl.

Pass me the funnel and bring on the kool-aid.  Weegle ya’ll!


Add Yours
  1. 3

    Thus is the sad state of affairs at ABarnU in Opelika.
    they will print anything to make Auburn look relevant these days….

  2. 5

    First of all my dim witted friend, Vince Young never won the Heisman. Secondly, the only comparison Chizk made of Newton to Young, Culpepper, and Campbell were to their physical atributes. Don’t know if you heard, but those guys were big and very mobile (sorta like Newton). Now as to the blatantly obvious fact that we won’t know about Newton until he actually plays, here are Chizik’s relevant quotes from the same article that you conveniently omitted (and make the entire point of your article rather moot.)

    “These (practice and scrimmage) situations are as close as you can get to being real, but they’re not real. It’s not the same thing. I don’t know that we’re really gonna know about any of our quarterbacks until we get them into that situation.”

    How do you respond after you throw an interception?” …”What are you gonna do after you have a bad game and everybody’s all over you?”…”Do you choose to listen to the radio talk shows? Do you choose to listen to the Internet? Do you choose to read the newspaper? If you do, how does that affect you? It’s an unknown entity right now.”

    Hmmmmm, kinda makes that whole “Chizik says Newton is as good as Jason Campbell without ever having played in an SEC game” fantasy you created sound about as dumb as your belief that Vince Young won the Heisman, huh?

  3. 6

    Bitterness will eat you alive ITK. Let it go.

    Julio, thanks for the facts….I knew that he was speaking out of context, but it was too early to even attempt throwing facts at him. Not that it matters. This is what he does.

  4. 7

    BPI, I just think it’s funny that ITK loves to harp on Newton’s laptop problems all the while ignoring that one of Bama’s star linebackers had his eligibility stripped for half of last season due to his own shady receipt of a laptop. Obvious, blatant hyprocisy is easy to overlook when you view the world through crimson colored glasses. (and the response that it was all the result of an orchestrated conspiracy of Auburn boosters in 5, 4, 3…)

  5. 8

    By the way, I realize Young didn’t win the Heisman officially, but finished second to a “cheater”. So, by abarn logic, quick to crown themselves for the NC for the same reasons, Young is the Heisman trophy winner. Right?

    Sometimes it’s just too easy in here.

  6. 9

    I think I’ll go down to the courthouse today and see if a judge can define for me the difference between stealing a laptop and receiving one as a gift.

    People get dismissed every day for receiving one as a gift…oh wait, no they don’t. They just get booted for stealing them.

    My bad.

  7. 10

    Actually, “Camputer” bought his….Yes, it was hot as a firecracker, but he did buy it. He was charged with recieving stolen property, not theft. And those charges were later dropped.

    Julio and Harris, well they blatently broke the rules knowing what the rules were.

    Not excusing Cam, what he did was wrong, he should have known better. But your boys dang sure should have know better…

  8. 11

    So you’re saying that when you typed that Young won the Heisman while writing this article, you were fully aware at that time that he actually didn’t but said it any way because Reggie Bush was caught cheating????? It’s not that you’re now trying to retroactively cover your a$$ for saying yet another idiotic thing??? You truly expect anyone to believe that??? For God sakes ITK, man up and admit you screwed up for once.

  9. 16

    Remember ITK, you have to remember to get your facts right. Remember, Aubies only deal in facts, not fiction.

    (trying to keep a straight face)

  10. 17

    Julia, we’ve known each other a long time. I knew you’d jump on that like Tiger on a skank. I don’t have many hobbies, so give me some credit at being good at the ones I do have. I thought you knew who you were dealing with. Not giving me credit for that bait; well that’s just downright disappointing. Of course, I’d be too embarrassed too.

  11. 21
    crimson hammah

    when the cops were coming for him cam threw his laptop out the window …that is what the cops call evidence of guilt -a guilty conscience.

  12. 24

    Hammah, bama lucky to not be on probation again. Like dog that been beat too much. Dog returning to own vomit. Selah.

  13. 25
    Tina Smith

    Pretty funny that a large majority of Auburn fans spend their time on a Alabama site. Nothing on Auburn site to keep you interested????? Dream On!!! ROLL TIDE ROLL

  14. 27


    Welcome to Capstone Report. Come back often; we’re glad you’re here.

    But like walking into a foul cloud of fart, you’re also going to encounter BPI (his sludge is more like BP, so that’s what we call him) and Julio (though he acts most like a PMS girl, so we’ve named him julia).

    They lead the throngs of the aubsessed fambly here…closet lovers of the Crimson Tide. It’s all they have Tina. Don’t laugh at them where they can see you.

    And you’ll get that sandwich comment from julia often, if he doesn’t get crazy and use the “iron my shirt” gag instead. He’s extremely creative.

    Welcome…make yourself at home!


  15. 33

    julia you shut up and go make me a sandwich.Cam is nothing more than a Jordan Jefferson of LS LOSERS who will be welcomed to S.E.C in first game.Look for him to be injury risk just like Jefferson.NOW is that damn sandwich ready JULIAAAAAAAAAAA…

  16. 34

    I was much closer with rember than with Womnen….Just sayin.

    Jordan Jefferson is the equivalent to a peanut in Cams stool. Cam is as big as most of your linebackers Jw.

  17. 40

    bpi.. If he is that big what the hell is he doing at qb?He may start but want last long.State is going to put a cowbell up his azz……

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