Wanted: Kiffin correspondent

Lane Kiffin is the biggest buffoon to ever walk into the SEC. Thank God! Every day new stupidity comes out of Rocky Top—so much stupidity we need a Kiffin correspondent! Traits needed include: fondness for the mentally challenged and experience covering the idiotic like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan preferred. Send resume and writing sample to info@capstonereport.com.

On to the Kiffin Watch:
SportsByBrooks reveals Lane Kiffin’s next great recruiting tactic in his battle against the SEC giants: Nick Saban has AIDS.

Spencer Hall at the Sporting Blog delves into Lane Kiffin’s world view: “this story only confirms that Lane Kiffin gets his understanding of the world as I thought he did: from reading old Archie comic books. (Say hello to Veronica for us, Lane.)”

GatorTailgating.com has photographs of Lane Kiffin’s words posted on the wall of the Florida athletic complex. Good going Lane! Way to motivate the defending national champions.

Daddy Kiffin disappointed in son’s big mouth, but still loves son: According to ESPN’s Chris Low, “Monte Kiffin was as disappointed as anybody to see Lane Kiffin stick his foot in his mouth with the comments about Urban Meyer back in February. But like any dad, he’s also quick to point out that the whole thing was blown out of proportion and that Lane isn’t the arrogant blowhard he’s been made out to be by some.” Isn’t that precious! The love of a parent for even the biggest dumbass.

16 Comments

Add Yours
  1. 1
    Scooter

    Cappy,

    You forgot one. During the recruitment of Alshon Jeffrey, a highly coveted South Carolina prospect, Kiffin stuck his foot in his mouth again. This is being reported by Chris Low’s ESPN blog: According to Low, Kiffin called Jeffrey in the wee hours of the morning on National Signing Day. And when Kiffin found out that Jeffrey was signing with South Carolina, Kiffin counld keep his foot out of his mouth AGAIN. According to Jeffrey, Kiffin stated that if he chose the Gamecocks, he would end up pumping gas for the rest of his life like all the other players from that state who had gone to South Carolina.

    The problem for Kiffin….. Jeffrey had Kiffin on speakerphone and another highly-sought prospect for the 2010 class heard him. OOPS.

    Check out Chris’s story

    http://myespn.go.com/blogs/sec/0-5-172/A-peek-into-recruiting-with-South-Carolina-s-Jeffrey.html

  2. 3
    CarlosHawes

    Oh man, it’s going to be so funny when this “idiot” and “buffoon” beats Bama! How are you going to explain how you just lost to the “biggest idiot in the history of the SEC”?

  3. 4
    capstonereport

    Will he be there long enough to do that? I’m thinking one and done and then UT does the smart thing and hires Gruden.

  4. 5
    CarlosHawes

    He’ll be there at least three years in order to justify his hiring, no matter what the w-l record. No AD would ever admit to making a mistake based on one season.

    FYI: I predict he is there 27 seasons.

    Remember, a Coaches only real job is to make $$$$$ for the University. Kiffin has already earned his keep for the first year in ticket, concession and souvenir sales. Believe me, the Vol faithful are already forking over Benjamin’s in larger numbers than any time since around 2002. Of course, a few loosing seasons would put an end to that.

  5. 6
    E. G. White

    I predict that UT never even comes close to beating Bama as long as Kiffens there and Sabans here. rtr

  6. 7
    intheknow72

    And the saddest thing is, the Vol nation is even more delusional about him than we are often accurately accused of being about Bama. I talked to a friend of mine in Nashville who bleeds Orange, and he was convinced UT dominance was only a couple of years away.

    All kidding and biases aside, and I’m being as serious as I can possibly be:
    Lane Kiffin is an absolute moron. Auburn should thank Tennessee publicly every day for hiring a bigger goof with a worse record than Gene Cheezik.

  7. 8
    intheknow72

    Carlos, are you serious? Are you under the influence of a controled substance? Kiffin won’t have a winning record against Vandy. He’ll go 0-2 and then be off to his next failure.

  8. 9
    Bamaman

    Tenn consecutive games in 09:
    @FL – L
    Ohio – W
    Aub – L
    UGA – L
    @Bama – L
    SC – L
    Memphis – W
    @OM – L

    after this 2 and 6 march he will be as quiet as a church mouse.

  9. 10
    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    If any one needs a “handler” its The Saban. Comparing the LAMO loss to 9/11 or Pearl Harbor ! Come on ! And the way the camera has to pan off of the man when yall are up by 25 because a kid missed a block. Thats priceless. Hes got a temper. Nothing wrong with being a perfectionist, but come on. Dog cussin a 20 year old kid ?

    Yep, hes the one that needs a handler. Not Kiffen. A hander or a shrink.

  10. 11
    capstonereport

    Saban’s comments on Pearl Harbor and 9/11 were nothing different than using a widely understood event and personalizing it in the hopes of teaching a lesson.

    He uses Pearl Harbor as an example in his book, and nobody attacked that when he was at LSU, but because some in the media hate him after his Miami tenure, now all of the sudden it is a big deal. Please.

    Saban didn’t equate the loss to Pearl Harbor, but used the history of Pearl Harbor to try to teach his players a lesson—that you can respond to adversity with the hard work necessary to win the war.

    If you can’t take lessons from historic events, then what is the point of studying history? I guess preachers shouldn’t draw lessons from the wounds Christ experienced or the martyrdom of the apostles—it would be wrong to apply those lessons to our lives? Right? Because how can I compare my suffering to that of St. Paul?

    As for cussing, Saban’s language is appropriate for the situation…and it is probably a lot nicer than I’d share with someone who did something stupid.

  11. 12
    CarlosHawes

    Time will provide my vindication. Rant on dear Bamer’s, rant on. The question still remains, by painting him as a moron, how do you explain it if he actually beats you? If Bama WERE to lose to Kiffin/UT, then Saban must REALLY be stupid? Always paint you adversary as a genius, at least that way, you have a fall back postion if he beats you. There was a reason Spurrier kept a copy of “The Art of War” at his desk. You Bama fans may want to peruse it sometime.

  12. 14
    Auburnisajoke formerly the fan known as Ballplay Indian.

    Cap…………Cmon man. Could you spin any harder ? If The Saban were to come out of the closet, you would respond like “Nick Saban is a warrior poet, who is true to his own self. I could only wish that the rest of the world could be as genuine as he is.”. Get it ? There are lots of tings that Tubbs did that I thought where B.S. One was a half hearted recruiting ethic.Another was the fact he did shoot his mouth off a little much. Before I get blasted, Im just trying to get you to see that most of the same things yall are bitching about with Kiffen, your own coach does as much or more of the same. Saban is a great coach. Would love to have had him. But your crimson goggles in in hyperdrive if you see absolutely no problem with that analogy. It was a little inappropriate. Period. Lamo to Pearl Harbor. Sheeeeesh.

  13. 15
    Indiana Vol

    The Bammer Moron Nation is scared shitless of Lane Kiffin! You bozos kow what he is capable of doing on the field and it scares the shit out of you. Kiffin will take Nicky Satan and the Crimson Turd to the woodshed.

    By the way, what do you think about Phil Fulmer? He sure owned your dirty, cheating ass!

    Rammer-jammer, yeller-hammer; GO TO HELL ALABAMMER

  14. 16
    Bamaman

    IndianaVol, What do we think of Fulmer? hehe, not much anymore since the last two times we played him it was an embarassment for the Vols and obviously helped lead to his dismissal. Fulmer can’t throw stones at anyone since he turned Logan Young in to save his own ass. We will see you in October for ass whipping number three, and until you beat us with Lame Kitten, shut your pie hole.

Comments are closed.