Skip to content

What we can learn from Auburn’s Cheech Marshall

  • by

Nick Marshall’s “citing” for marijuana possession cost him a trip to Birmingham for Auburn’s appearance at SEC Media Days. The face of Auburn’s offense, and in some respects their entire program, isn’t fit for the cameras or microphones because he can’t stay off the dooby.

Just makes you want to get ready for Sunday School, doesn't it?

Just makes you want to get ready for Sunday School, doesn’t it?

Then again, this is the player that was kicked off the Georgia football team for a “violation of team rules,” some of which were most likely “don’t steal from your teammates“…like, from their freaking lockers. The very guys you’re lining up, sweating and competing with…depending on for crying out loud. Some $500 was taken “allegedly” between Marshall and two other teammates while at Georgia.

But he’s reformed now, right? The Auburn purists love to regurgitate this blather. But then again, if Adolf Hitler wore orange and blue, they’d quickly retort that he has a huge upside and just needs guidance and discipline. Afterall, Gustav Malzahn doesn’t allow profanity on his practice field, don’t you know. I guess he doesn’t know what “STFU” means on a bracelet, which Marshall proudly is allowed to wear on his playing field.

The fact is, thugs are thugs, and very few thugs become much more than, well, thugs. Auburn fan, THIS is your team leader. Not a reserve lineman or runningback. He’s your stinking QUARTERBACK. Enjoy!

And you know what, I’m okay with it. Because it’s okay to steal? No. Because it’s okay to steal from your freaking teammates? No. Am I okay with it because it’s okay that Renegade U. took in another castoff criminal that may or may not earn a degree (but YOU KNOW won’t) in order to assemble a football machine for the hayseed Lee County cult to worship? They’re great at that, but no.

Am I okay with it because I think Mary J should be legalized, and it’s no big deal? Hardly. Or was it because he was just “cited” for not having that much on him in his DODGE CHARGER, which Auburn fans like to believe is only relegated to Alabama players? No, and the reason he only had a little on him is because likely he had already smoked the rest, IN his Dodge Charger, POSSIBLY while driving.

Fans like to hide behind their teams in order to find some semblance for living. The Weegle faithful adopt…and yes, by definition, worship…their football players, regardless of their off-the-field troubles in order to find their identity in their football program.

Afterall, as long as Marshall scores a touchdown on them Bammers, you, Auburn fan, don’t care one idiota who Nick Marshall steals from. You didn’t care that Cam Newton stole laptops or got paid, and you KNOW he was paid. You’ve admitted as such.

Where it becomes nauseating is when Auburn propaganda is introduced by AU media spinmeisters, and the faithful lap it up like thirsty dogs. If you want to induce vomiting, find your way to Phillip Marshall’s take on how sorry Nick is…we all know for being caught…or’s AU beatwriter’s piece, painting Auburn’s Cheech and Chong quarterback as an embattled leader suffering for the good.

The fact is, college kids drink beer and smoke weed. Many of them get behind the wheel afterwards, and when they do, the police should do their job, regardless of who they are. We saw this just this week with Alabama defensive lineman Jarran Reed. I don’t care what color jersey he wears, he could have hit my wife and children when behind the wheel.

What I am sick of is apologist beatwriters covering any school trying to smoothe it over for hungry fanbases, just because it sells. I can honestly say, and correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t see Cecil Hurt or other Bama beatwriters writing bullcrap that Auburn beatwriters do.

Stop worshipping football players, people. Stop finding your identity in football programs. Stop putting all your eggs in baskets that don’t amount to any real return on your life, and face the facts.

Your football team is largely made up of irresponsible college kids with underdeveloped frontal lobes, leading them to do dumb, stupid and even dangerous things. And many of those players are thugs, who in the wrong situation, would victimize you in a second. And your overpaid staff’s lush living depends on them getting said players to produce for them on Saturdays, so that their debutante wives can continue leading the lives they’ve come to enjoy. That, friend, is the issue in a nutshell.

By the time the Tigers kick-off against Arkansas, there won’t be a fan inside Jordan Hare Stadium that gives a rip what Nick Marshall was smoking in his yellow and purple Charger. All they’ll care about is beating the Hogs in their eleven game warm up for the Iron Bowl…the true reason for their existence.

What we should learn from this is this: There’s something in all of us that needs examining when stories like this come to light. It’s time for a little perspective, not hero worship.

(Follow ITK on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)

34 thoughts on “What we can learn from Auburn’s Cheech Marshall”

  1. “But Alabama has had x times more arrests the past 51 days; you’re the thugs!”

    No, we just don’t get bailed out.

    Seriously, I can’t imagine getting a TICKET for having a bag full of weed. Think about it. It must have been terrifying.

    “Son, I gotta write you a ticket because you’ve got illegal drugs and nobody else in your car to take the blame.”

    “Dang. Can I keep the drugs?”

    “I’m afraid not. What if a real cop pulled you over? You might get arrested.”

    *tears forming* “Aw, man! I said I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. Sorry. Dang!”

    Meanwhile…”Drake got arrested for not respecting the law, which everyone should do!”

    I’m not sure how much respect Nick Marshall has for the law, but my guess is it’s less than one ounce…

    Besides, Drake got arrested for his lack of respect for the law. The police were investigating someone else’s crime, just like they investigated Marshall’s crimes, and Drake didn’t cooperate. It didn’t sound like he got the same kind of respect we’re upset for him not giving back, but he got arrested for it rather than, say, a ticket. His car was consequently searched—-less than an ounce of drugs was not found.

    “But what about the Reed DUI!?!?”

    I know, I know, it’s crazy to think of an Auburn player like Marshall even being tested for a DUI, let alone arrested for it. For all the jokes about Colorado pot laws, they did enact a very strict test policy for weed in driving violations. But Marshall wasn’t tested.

    Who knows? Maybe Marshall was just transporting the weed alone for a friend and not smoking any of it? Doubtful, maybe (and for the argument’s sake we have to assume he wasn’t going to cross state lines, yes?), but Reed was tested and arrested and we don’t yet know how much more severe his penalty will be. What we do know is it won’t be zero and he did get tested and he didn’t get a just a ticket.

    What Reed did was wrong. Period. He’ll probably lose his spot on the team (watch); fortunately Alabama has enough depth to punish players justly rather than punish based on positional needs. Was Marshall’s crime just as wrong?

    “Which crime?…”


    1. Where Marshall was ticketed is a stone’s throw from Auburn, meaning they know who butters their bread, even in that area. As frustrating as it is, the Tuscaloosa PD doesn’t take any crap whatsoever.

      I once got hassled after a game for accidentally honking my horn at a traffic stop (I turned around in the car to tend to a child and my elbow hit the horn). The cop darn near arrested me. True story.

      But in Hazzard County, you have Boss Hog and Cletus tending to the Aubies. Must be fantastic.

    2. Reed was arrested because he ran into another car in a parking lot, attempted to leave the scene of an accident, and had a blood alcohol content more than 50% higher than allowable by law. He was arrested because he was going to kill someone if he was allowed to drive. Reed’s offense could carry 1 year in prison. Maybe Reed and Dillon Lee will be able to share a prison cell together. Maybe Bama can start a prison league team with all of these fine outstanding players they are grooming for the penal system.

      1. I see. Beer is worse than weed. Got it. Agreed, kinda (Marshall wasn’t tested so we can’t speculate how much he had been smoking). And I’d like to think we all agree that he should be punished, which he will.

        How should Nick Marshall be punished though?

        After all, he didn’t wreck his a car and flee the scene, right?

        Neither did Ricky Parks, Jonathan Evans, Jawara White and Demetruce McNeal. What happened to them?

        They were kicked off Auburn’s football team for Malzahn’s “zero tolerance policy” for drugs.

        So what will Auburn do to Nick Marshall?

        My guess is they will redefine the term “zero” tolerance…

        1. The people writing the laws have put in much stiffer penalties for first time DUI offenders than they have for people cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession. I’m not making a judgment as to which is worse but the legislators that are using laws to influence behavior deem DUI to be worthy of imprisonment and not so with misdemeanor marijuana possession. I don’t know if Marshall was under the influence but I believe that if the police thought he was incapacitated they would have arrested him. They would have known that this was going to get some publicity. By the way Reynolds, GA is about as far from Auburn as is Birmingham, AL and is Georgia Bulldog country.

          The other Auburn players you mentioned all had prior instances of violation of team rules.

          When was Malzahn quoted as having a “zero tolerance policy”? I’m not saying that he hasn’t said that but I don’t recall seeing or hearing that and can’t find anything that quotes him saying it.

          1. One look and you’ll find it.

            But don’t take my word for it. Take it from the guys who were kicked out of Auburn for it. Ricky Parks had a direct quote just yesterday.

          2. I did look Conduit. Post a link to an article that quotes Malzahn. Not one that quotes Ricky Parks, who by the way had a number of team violations before being dismissed. Parks was given a second chance and then was dismissed, doesn’t sound like zero tolerance to me.

            “…This marks the second time Parks has parted ways with the team in the past nine months. After redshirting in 2012, he was dismissed on the first day of fall camp last year for an undisclosed violation of team rules. He then transferred to Northeast Mississippi Community College in Booneville, Miss….”


            The Capstone Report moto – never let the truth get in the way of our obsession with Auburn.

          3. @afan

            You didn’t find it?

            Try harder. It’s funny because it’s everywhere after SEC Media Days yesterday and other sites you’re not bashing for bias after saying the same thing.

            Ironically, you’re ok with Parks getting kicked off the team for his second offense, but Marshall gets another one? What about Jonathan Evans, Jawara White, Demetruce McNeal, Mincy, etc?

          4. Thanks. Nope, I have looked and all I can find is where others say (such as yourself and Parks) that Malzahn has a zero tolerance policy but nowhere can I find where Malzahn has stated that he has a zero tolerance policy. In fact, other than the tweet by Parks that has now been removed there is no one else who even states that Malzahn told them that. Mincy, Evans, McNeal, White… none of those guys said they were told there was a zero tolerance policy. Again, point to a link where Malzahn said there is a zero tolerance policy. The Auburn University guidelines clearly do not indicate there is a zero tolerance policy. Since you are so familiar with the policy surely you can provide a link where Malzahn made the statement.

          5. Deflect!



            That’s the Scientology way.
            “What are YOUR crimes!?” (look it up).

            And you wonder where the cult association comes from with Auburn…

          6. There’s no deflection, deferring, nor defending. I am simply asking you to point me to one of these many articles you say are out there where Gus Malzahn discusses or mentions a zero tolerance policy. If you can’t do that then just say so. Can you provide a link to an article where Malzahn mentions or discusses this policy that you have cited?

          7. No, actually, that’s exactly what it is.



            Don’t take on the issue at hand but stir it into a new argument to get away from the one you don’t want to talk about.

            Now you’re obsessed with asking me to search for Auburn news instead. See how that’s deflection?

            Well, in any case, here;

          8. Deflection is exactly what you are doing. You said Malzahn had a zero tolerance policy and because of that Marshall should be dismissed from the team. When you were asked to provide a link to any article where Gus Malzahn mentioned a zero tolerance policy you weren’t able to do so because he has never said that. Once the truth got in the way of you obsession with Auburn you start screaming deflection and talking about scientology. Just provide the link to the policy or start making up more lies. Again the capstone report’s moto – never let the truth get in the way of your obsession with Auburn.

          9. I’m not with Capstone Report so don’t use your hate for me as fuel for bias against them.

            After all, you’re the Auburn fan who comes here as part of their audience….then gets upset when they write about an Auburn player getting in (no) trouble, despite the fact that everyone else is writing about it, too.

            You didn’t watch the video…

            I could look up Auburn sites for Auburn news for your link, but no. You try. The point is still preferential treatment, and there’s no need to defer from that. Malzahn isn’t suspending Nick Marshall from any football games, never mind kicking him off the team like McNeal, for example. That’s exactly the kind of guy I DON’T want to win the Heisman.

            But hey, I’m selfish that way. What can I say? I like the good guys. No more Manziel, Winston, and Newton. Replace them with Tebow, Ingram and Henry.

          10. I’m not upset. I’d just like to know when Malzahn said he had a zero tolerance policy. The fact that you can not point to an instance where he is quoted as saying that or discussing it, is a good indicator that one does not exist. That being the case, there has been no preferential treatment.

          11. I love you, afan.

            You are the epitome of predictable Auburn behavior.

            Never change. Never leave. Never grow. Always all in.

            There’s been no preferential treatment? Really?


          12. Still obsessed with that? Asking me to look at Auburn websites might seem normal to you as an Auburn fan who spends more time on Alabama sites than Auburn ones, but it’s not my thing. Never mind if it’s incidental in the first place, which it is. That’s what we’ve learned from Marshall—-that’s what the entire story is about, and why it’s on national sites instead of just the one you think is biased against you.

          13. No obsession here. Would just like for you to back up your diatribe with some actual facts – where are the articles on the zero tolerance policy. You can’t point to an article on Malzahn discussing that policy because it doesn’t exist. Making up lies in order to disparage a rival is a good example of obsession and that would be you – obsessed with Auburn. And this may be an Alabama website but it is as much focused on Auburn as it is Alabama – there are 20 articles on the front page of this website 8 of those are directly about Auburn and many of the other 12 have commentary on Auburn. This is an Alabama website dedicated to obsessing about Auburn.

    3. Amazing how you guys will write story after story about an Auburn player that wasnt even arrested but have no room to address the 11 arrests your own program has had the last 18 months (BTW, Auburn has had 2 arrests the last 2 years in comparison). Stealing from teammates is bad, I agree. Where’s that same outrage for allowing a player back on the team that participated in the beating and robbing of his fellow students? Pot arrests are bad? Where’s the article on Altee Tenpenny?

      Fact is Alabama has a lot more problems with player arrests than Auburn does. A LOT more.

        1. McNeal and Mincy were the only members of Auburns football team to be arrested while members of the team. Ricky Parks was never arrested. Bessent was a recruit that was arrested; he was still in high school. If we’re counting high school kids arrests then we’ll have to add more to Alabama’s total.

          FACT: Auburn has had 2 arrests the last 2 years
          FACT: Alabama has had 11 arrests the last 18 months.

          1. @peachy

            Now it sounds like you’re on the right path.

            Auburn players don’t get arrested for the crimes they commit. They don’t get punished, either.

            That is, if they’re needed badly enough on the football field. That’s what we can learn from Marshall.

            Which Alabama HS recruits were arrested in the last two seasons anyway?

            Wait for it….now DEFER! DEFLECT!

      1. @peachy

        Not again.

        Don’t you realize the fact that Marshall “wasn’t even arrested” is an inherent part of the story? It’s a national story, like it or not.

        And do you realize how many other players were kicked off Auburn’s football team for the same thing?

        I’ve never heard of anyone getting a simple ticket for having a bag of any drug (have you?), but Malzahn’s drug policy doesn’t care what drug it is regardless—-it’s indiscriminate.

        That is, unless he can’t win without you, apparently. Then you don’t get to do interviews on a Monday in Hoover, Alabama.

        And you keep trying to infer a guy who drove a car instead beat kids up for potato chip money. Again. And again. And again. You could talk about the story at hand since it’s topical and relevant, but no.

        Not only did he not beat anyone up, but as much as you don’t want to support second chances (really, Auburn?), he was punished (you left that part out, again) and later worked harder than you’ll ever believe to earn his spot back on the team. It might be a defining moment in his character development, but you want to turn it into a blame game?

        Nick Marshall never had that character-defining moment. Nobody at Auburn is going to try to give it to him the way Alabama does. Marshall gets away with whatever he wants with no compelling reason not to. The only punishment was getting kicked out of Georgia because Georgia enforces their rules, but no, they didn’t press charges. Auburn can’t say that anymore about their drug policy, if nothing else. Just don’t remind Ricky Parks and Demetruce McNeal.

        So to answer your question, there’s no outrage. There’s only a lack of understanding and remembering the facts on your end.

        Auburn players can carry a misdemeanor amount or any class 1 illegal drug(s) they want across state lines and not be arrested, while Alabama players can’t drive their own car away from a crime they didn’t commit (and were never accused of committing) without being arrested. The sad part is which half of that statement bothers you and which half doesn’t. That’s Auburn. That’s why there’s a story about what we can learn from Marshall.

        1. Marshall wasn’t arrested because he didn’t commit a crime worthy of arrest. Misdemeanor possession of marijuana is no more worthy of arrest than drive 100 MPH hour in a 65 MPH speed zone. Its the aggravating circumstances around such violation that dictate wether an arrest is warranted.

          As for the Malzahn drug policy that all of you Bama fans keep referring to, please point me to a link that describes that policy.

          1. @afan2

            It’s funny you mention speeding.

            Auburn’s Mincy was arrested with weed when he was in a car doing 95 in a 65 (ironically, from your example, driving 100 MPH would likely be considered “wreckless driving,” an arrestable offense, 20 MPH over the posted limit in many states in the South East).

            I’m not sure how you feel about Tenpenny being arrested for having less weed than Marshall.

            Have you really not heard about Malzahn’s zero tolerance policy or have you just not looked?

            Because regadless of the amount or type of drug, their policy is that the drug doesn’t matter—it’s incidental, whether it’s heroin, meth, weed, cocaine, even Rx pills. If you’re about to say the policy doesn’t make sense, fine, but that’s exactly what the “zero” in “zero tolerance” means.

            Instead, now it depends on how important you are to Auburn.

      2. “Where’s the article on Altee Tenpenny?”

        Tenpenny was arrested.

        See the difference?

        We also have yet to see if he’ll play, if that’s what you really care about. But what we do know is he was punished and had less drugs than Marshall.

    4. barners were busted for armed robbery…and the 4 5 star croots are paid 30k a yr in base alone…they can afford to hide their transgressions

    Comments are closed.

    Exit mobile version