Shock: No expansion for Jordan-Hare

  • by ITK

In a recent interview with a “satellite member” of the university of abarn marketing department, director of athletics Jay Jacobs said there aren’t any real plans to expand the seating at Jordan-Hare stadium.

In a related story, Jorge Garcia doesn’t plan on getting body guards to protect him from women.

Conversation of any kind regarding expansion in Lee County is hysterical.  Unless they play Alabama or Georgia at home four times a season, they couldn’t sell out that dump if they taped $50 bills under all the seats.

Pick any…any…game in abarn with a 11:00am kick-off and when the cameras accidentally hit the crowd you’ll see bleachers. You can easily shoot a water balloon into the east upper deck and not get anybody wet.

Said Jacobs: “We’re not going to increase our capacity just because someone else is increasing their capacity.  We’re going to do what’s best for us.”

Translation: “We’re not going to increase our capacity just because the defending national champion is nine days away from unveiling the Taj Mahal of college football stadiums, with a 101,821 seating capacity and another 10,000 on a season ticket waiting list.  We’re going to keep playing games in front of 80% occupancy in our 87,451 seat dump.”

That’s not to say Spinmeister Jacobs isn’t looking toward the future.  The story says last fall he hired Pieper Sports Facility Consulting to do a master design for Jordan-Hare Stadium, to “look at everything, and not just the seats.”

My favorite:

“What we want to do is be proactive and not reactive,” Jacobs said. “We want to be ready to go when it’s time to go. What I mean by that is, we get a couple years like we used to have prior to 2008 where we sell out tickets from the ticket priority standpoint, then your supply is beginning to exceed your demand.”

Translation? “If my 13-24 head coach, with a winning percentage of .37% in league play can produce a product people want to come see, maybe we’ll move on something.”

“So we’re pulling all this (information) together and saying, ‘You know what? We’ve got 25 things here we’re going to do over the next 10 years.’ Hypothetically. Could be five years, could be 25,” Jacobs said.

Could be 380.

Gee Jay, we all believe your thoughts aren’t reactive at all.  Bama building the prototype of the perfect football stadium has nothing to do with you doing homework on upgrading your own heap.  I, for one, am convinced.

Humorously, the story goes on that “8-12” other stadiums have been visited by abarn officials in the last six months, including Clemson, Virginia Tech, West Virginia, Texas, Texas A&M, Tennessee, Florida and Iowa.

Notice any interesting names absent from the list?  So the standard for luxury football stadiums is being completed just 185 miles away across the state, but no knock on the door?

Do I detect a little stadium envy?

Bottom line, Abarn is the Jorge Garcia of college football.  Manufactured into being something by outside orchestrated and motivating factors, but still really, really ugly.  And face it; nobody but fambly wants to be around ugly.