Scarbinsky Loses His Mind

  • by ITK

In an effort to generate interest and readership for his dying newspaper (and possibly career), Kevin Scarbinsky slipped further into delusional lunacy today.  In a piece entitled “The Chizik-Saban Parallel Continues”, Scarbface attempts to connect the dots between what some desperately hope is happening in Auburn and what HAS happened in Tuscaloosa.

You can read the drivel here:

Apparently Charles Goldberg has slipped Scarb what he’s been guzzling for years now.

Some jewels for you:

“Win a bowl game by surviving a comeback? Check.

Put together a monster recruiting class? Check.

Create the kind of buzz your program hasn’t generated in years? Check.”

But then, the diamond in the rough of this concoction of words and sentences:

“Saban was competing with an Auburn program in decline. At the moment, Chizik is competing with an Alabama program 60 minutes away from a national championship. That fact alone makes Chizik’s work to date all the more impressive.”

So when Saban rolled into Tuscaloosa, Auburn was in decline? I kind of remember a coach in his 9th year, just three years removed from an undefeated season and four first round draft picks. I sort of recall a streak of some sort and a stronghold on big brother across the state.

But, I guess Scarbi got carried away in the aftermath of the Abarn’s “impressive” win over the team that hasn’t won a bowl game since 1949.

And finally:

“Remember how they mock-celebrated Dec. 24 in his honor because Auburn’s 7-5 regular-season record improved the coach’s career mark to 12-24? After the Outback Bowl thriller, Chizik is now 13-24. Time to change the calendar in more ways than one. And to go find another coach to laugh at, one whose program isn’t on the rise.”

No, we’re still laughing. And really at the thought that 13-24 is a good coaching record. I’m sorry, that’s just funny. 11-0 next season gets him to .500 for his career. Who here honestly believes he’ll achieve even that?

And I apologize for disagreeing, but wins over Furman and Ball State were the difference in 2008’s 5-7 and 2009’s 7-5. Hardly a program on the rise. But it did give way for the nation to watch Auburn play dirty, intentionally hurt a kicker, get a myriad of personal fouls and show a complete lack of discipline en route to a yawner over a directional school…in overtime…where twice they lost 14-point leads.

Program on the rise? Seriously?

But, playing along with Mr. Scarbinsky’s logic (I just laughed when I typed that), where does he feel the “parallel” ends? I challenge him to put his money where his mouth is…and any Aubie for that matter.

Who out there believes Auburn will go 12-2 next season, including an undefeated regular season and an appearance in the SEC Championship game? And then who will contest that they will play for all the marbles at 13-0 in 2011?

And the crickets chirp…

Scarbinsky, don’t worry. Your safe, round room awaits. Everything’s going to be fine.