Alabama vs Auburn: Battle to not be the worst in the SEC

By Hunter Ford

I have really tried, all week, to reach out and be an ambassador for Alabama basketball. I have talked face-to-face with friends about the Alabama basketball team, and the importance of the upcoming game with Auburn.

Even my most ardent Tide friends looked at me like I had spiders crawling out of my eye sockets.

I have been like James Spann, trying to convince everyone that global warming is not real. Well, James, it is pretty cold tonight. I’ll give you that. I have been like Jay Leno trying to make everybody forget what a slime-ball he is for stealing the Tonight Show from David Letterman. I have been like Obama trying to convince the country that his healthcare program is going to work.

I friended people on Facebook and asked them their opinions on what could make Alabama basketball relevant again. Crickets chirping put me to sleep those nights.

This all began before the polar vortex froze everything. Then, I thought, maybe, some other bored, snowed-in folks might get interested. More crickets. I felt like Daffy Duck trying to steal the show from Buggs.

I felt like Kevin Scarbinsky.

I’m attempting to be a good writer for a website that is devoted to Alabama athletics. Not just football; all Alabama athletics.

Perhaps I should write about something that really interests Alabama fans. It is, after all, all about the consumer…right? Jacob Coker is transferring from Florida State. That is great… a second string QB with a bum knee. I hope that works out. Bobby Humphrey’s kid committed to Alabama. I’m excited about that, but it’s a long way from high school to the College Football Playoffs. I should be spending my time coming up with a better name for that. What marketing firm got paid to come up with that? I want to work for them. Nick Saban did the electric slide.

Alabama and Auburn will play tonight for the right to be “not the worst team in the SEC.” Has anybody seen Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro? “Fourth place!”

What I should have done was write a piece about the January 26th anniversary of the day that Bear Bryant died.

I remember Alabama’s basketball team playing an important role in that time. The Tide went to Los Angeles, wearing black arm bands in Bear’s memory, and beat UCLA on national TV.

Times have surely changed. The delayed Alabama-Auburn basketball game tonight will be televised in Montgomery on a channel known as “BounceTV.” No joke. Look it up.

I’m going to watch, because I care, and I want Alabama to beat Auburn in checkers, hop-scotch, tiddly-winks, Scrabble….whatever. I won’t be alone. Kevin and the crickets will be watching too. ROLL TIDE!

7 thoughts on “Iron Bowl of basketball? Do you hear the crickets?”

  1. If we are serious about covering what fans care about, we should stop writing about basketball and write about gymnastics.

    Did you see the difference in crowds?

    I’m serious. I think that would be far more useful for Alabama fans. I have tried to find someone with interest in gymnastics to cover the sport.

  2. I’m sorry this won’t help, but I do watch more Alabama gymnastics, golf and softball than basketball of any kind. Basketball and baseball in particular have never been my thing. I can get away with spending a chunk of one day a week for a short twelve weeks a year on football. I’ve honestly forgotten what channel numbers the sports channels are, which is even worse considering I bought a TV service two years ago just so I could watch football and Formula 1. I was stumped by the NIT thing a few years ago and I was genuinely excited about Grant. I don’t remember much after that.
    No offense Hunter, but I’d rather read what you have to say about it than actually watch (never mind that almost none of the games are broadcast here outside of AL). If you write, I’ll read it.

  3. I was going to watch the Mega Bowl, I have renamed it for basketball (Semi-pro) but it is not on my local station as advertised. I’m going to do some research and write some articles on our Tide women’s sports. RTR

  4. Would someone please hold open the dumpster lid? It’s time to dump the garbage – uhh CAG!

  5. That was an embarrassing loss. Alabama needed a road win over a bad Auburn team to have slight chance at making the NIT this year.

    1. Maybe it’s for the best. Back-to-back losses for the football team left a mark and lit a spark. If we want a better team and Grant is the outlying issue, maybe losing to a terrible Auburn team and not making the NIT is a prerequisite. I’m just saying, maybe. I don’t know what else it will take to get the same spark consecutive losses for the football team caused.

  6. How about getting Ass Raped by UcheaT? Is that good enough to qualify AG for a 3rd class bus ticket back to ‘Ginnie or wherever? Jesus Christ, Ucheat didn’t fall anywhere near this far after they went on probation and fired their coach. Pathetic! RTR!

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