What we can learn from Auburn’s Cheech Marshall

ITKNick Marshall’s “citing” for marijuana possession cost him a trip to Birmingham for Auburn’s appearance at SEC Media Days. The face of Auburn’s offense, and in some respects their entire program, isn’t fit for the cameras or microphones because he can’t stay off the dooby.

Just makes you want to get ready for Sunday School, doesn't it?

Just makes you want to get ready for Sunday School, doesn’t it?

Then again, this is the player that was kicked off the Georgia football team for a “violation of team rules,” some of which were most likely “don’t steal from your teammates“…like, from their freaking lockers. The very guys you’re lining up, sweating and competing with…depending on for crying out loud. Some $500 was taken “allegedly” between Marshall and two other teammates while at Georgia.

But he’s reformed now, right? The Auburn purists love to regurgitate this blather. But then again, if Adolf Hitler wore orange and blue, they’d quickly retort that he has a huge upside and just needs guidance and discipline. Afterall, Gustav Malzahn doesn’t allow profanity on his practice field, don’t you know. I guess he doesn’t know what “STFU” means on a bracelet, which Marshall proudly is allowed to wear on his playing field.

The fact is, thugs are thugs, and very few thugs become much more than, well, thugs. Auburn fan, THIS is your team leader. Not a reserve lineman or runningback. He’s your stinking QUARTERBACK. Enjoy!

And you know what, I’m okay with it. Because it’s okay to steal? No. Because it’s okay to steal from your freaking teammates? No. Am I okay with it because it’s okay that Renegade U. took in another castoff criminal that may or may not earn a degree (but YOU KNOW won’t) in order to assemble a football machine for the hayseed Lee County cult to worship? They’re great at that, but no.

Am I okay with it because I think Mary J should be legalized, and it’s no big deal? Hardly. Or was it because he was just “cited” for not having that much on him in his DODGE CHARGER, which Auburn fans like to believe is only relegated to Alabama players? No, and the reason he only had a little on him is because likely he had already smoked the rest, IN his Dodge Charger, POSSIBLY while driving.

Fans like to hide behind their teams in order to find some semblance for living. The Weegle faithful adopt…and yes, by definition, worship…their football players, regardless of their off-the-field troubles in order to find their identity in their football program.

Afterall, as long as Marshall scores a touchdown on them Bammers, you, Auburn fan, don’t care one idiota who Nick Marshall steals from. You didn’t care that Cam Newton stole laptops or got paid, and you KNOW he was paid. You’ve admitted as such.

Where it becomes nauseating is when Auburn propaganda is introduced by AU media spinmeisters, and the faithful lap it up like thirsty dogs. If you want to induce vomiting, find your way to Phillip Marshall’s take on how sorry Nick is…we all know for being caught…or AL.com’s AU beatwriter’s piece, painting Auburn’s Cheech and Chong quarterback as an embattled leader suffering for the good.

The fact is, college kids drink beer and smoke weed. Many of them get behind the wheel afterwards, and when they do, the police should do their job, regardless of who they are. We saw this just this week with Alabama defensive lineman Jarran Reed. I don’t care what color jersey he wears, he could have hit my wife and children when behind the wheel.

What I am sick of is apologist beatwriters covering any school trying to smoothe it over for hungry fanbases, just because it sells. I can honestly say, and correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t see Cecil Hurt or other Bama beatwriters writing bullcrap that Auburn beatwriters do.

Stop worshipping football players, people. Stop finding your identity in football programs. Stop putting all your eggs in baskets that don’t amount to any real return on your life, and face the facts.

Your football team is largely made up of irresponsible college kids with underdeveloped frontal lobes, leading them to do dumb, stupid and even dangerous things. And many of those players are thugs, who in the wrong situation, would victimize you in a second. And your overpaid staff’s lush living depends on them getting said players to produce for them on Saturdays, so that their debutante wives can continue leading the lives they’ve come to enjoy. That, friend, is the issue in a nutshell.

By the time the Tigers kick-off against Arkansas, there won’t be a fan inside Jordan Hare Stadium that gives a rip what Nick Marshall was smoking in his yellow and purple Charger. All they’ll care about is beating the Hogs in their eleven game warm up for the Iron Bowl…the true reason for their existence.

What we should learn from this is this: There’s something in all of us that needs examining when stories like this come to light. It’s time for a little perspective, not hero worship.


(Follow ITK on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)