Nation laughs at Auburn as Tigers invent more National Titles for themselves

ITKIn case you missed it over night, Auburn won three more national championships while you were sleeping.

Really, you say?

No, not really. But in their latest attempt to be Alabama, the Tiggers endeavor to hoist banners featuring three years they want to be theirs, but rightfully are not. Read the LA Times making fun of Auburn here:

Read Jay Jacobs made out to be a fool by the USA Today here on the recent claims.

Reaching over 100 years back, the desperate barners are now claiming 1913, the year it’s long been accepted that Harvard won it…for over a century. It’s well known that the Tide’s 1925 Rose Bowl victory is what put Southern football on the map. But don’t tell a boog that. The distinction is now theirs*, according to them…and only them.

Winners of the 1983 National Championship

Oh, and there’s 1983. Going on the same criteria the silly Aubie’s use, Bama could claim ’45, ’66, ’77, ’94 and ’08. But we don’t. Because a legitimate agency didn’t name us champion those years.

“But what about 1941?” you’ll hear a boog say. As much as I don’t like that year being included in our long history of superiority via championships, a legitimate agency DID name Bama champs that year, which is why it is claimed.

But not in Auburn’s case. Instead, Asterisk U. cherry picked a couple of retro rankings…polls taken YEARS after the seasons took place, filled with agenda and bias…to name themselves champs.

People, this is as pathetic as the moms of your neighborhood pop warner program buying trophies for their little tikes because “they tried real hard.”

Miami was crowned national champion legitimately in 1983.

Winners of the 1993 and 2013 National Championships, at least until the Aubs try to wrestle away 2013 for “being close”

But wait, there’s more! In 1993 Auburn entered the season on one of their many, storied probations due to improper benefits paid to Eric Ramsey (remember him?). But after an improbable 11-0 season…THOUGH THEY COULD NEITHER PLAY IN A BOWL GAME NOR THEIR FLIPPING CONFERENCE TITLE GAME…these silly barners are now saying they won that year too. Two additional games against quality opponents that year that the Tiggers just casually exempt themselves from.

Can you believe this? It seems our little brothers, who self-righteously love to tab themselves as a Christian university, are raping and pillaging the Tenth Commandment in broad daylight. Better lock the doors to the Bryant Museum.

Interesting enough they aren’t (yet) claiming 2004. Though you can bet it probably has to do with something in Tommy Tuberville’s contract regarding championships won and payouts thereof. His contract window must still be open. You think I’m joking. As soon as it closes, you can bet a 2004 banner will be hoisted somewhere down on the farm…though USC and Oklahoma remained at #1 & #2 all season until the Championship Game Auburn wasn’t invited to. You know, facts barners led by their leader Jay Jacobs apparently consider to be clutter.

I just hope I live to see the day that they do claim that year…and 2013 as well. After all, they DID play in the big game (and lost), but in barner world, close is good enough. Right?

We now live in a world devoid of truth, right and wrong, and factual history. Which plays right into the sticky hands of our little orange and blue history revisionists.

If you’re an Auburn fan, you have to be ashamed of this. Or else you’re just as pathetic as your leaders putting this sham together.

War Liars! Momma will put your little trophies on the lower shelf where you can reach’em.

Here you go, barnies.

Here you go, barnies.

Pathetic. Ridiculous. Just sad. But we expect no different from Auburn. Afterall, it’s the Fambly way.

(Follow ITK on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)