As the pulverization of Auburn football continues down on the plains, Auburn prepares to make its next move in hiring a new head coach.

“We need a leader, not a loser!” rang out from the tarmac in Auburn in 2008 as Athletics Director Jay Jacobs ignored Gene Chizik’s 5-19 record at Iowa State and brought the perennial loser to Auburn.

So now that history has repeated itself and Gene Chizk has totally destroyed a second football program, who will be the answer this time around?

My sources are telling me it’s Gus Malzahn.

I predicted back in April of this year…long before the Auburn program imploded…that the Auburn program would implode this season and Auburn would eventually hire Bobby Petrino.

Petrino, of all the candidates out there, is the most proven. His track record of success on the college level speaks for itself. You’re going to have to overlook the pimples that make him an unattractive hire, but quite simply he’s the best of the best.

However, the higher ups at Auburn don’t want Petrino because of his morals. Or at least that’s what they’ll say. Window dressing, as it were.

The fact is, they want an “Auburn man.” What’s that, you ask?

Simple. An Auburn man is a puppet that Pat Dye and company can work through to operate business as usual in Lee County. Why else would you hand the keys of your program to a coach whose only experience as a head coach is 5 wins and 19 losses?

A Bobby Petrino is similar in style and personna to a Nick Saban. It’s not just a “my way or the highway” mentality, but more of a “It’s my way…now get the #$&% out of my office” mentality.

So forget what you’ll hear about morals. It has nothing to do with that. Auburn would sell its collective soul to beat Alabama. It’s their bar. It’s why they exist.

It has everything to do with the committee approach to running a football program, which ironically is what ultimately undid Alabama following Bear Bryant’s retirement and death. It took Alabama twenty-five years to figure out the best thing to do was hire the best coach possible and stay out of his way.

Having to hire “an Auburn man” (code for letting our power brokers have a continued hand in what’s going on here) is strangely similar to the path that made Alabama the butt of so many jokes following Bryant’s death. “They have to hire a coach who played for, coached under, or shook hands with the Bear!” My how times have changed; irony is a funny thing.

Another name I’ve heard is Jimbo Fisher, who would obviously leave a healthy FSU program to take 2-3 steps down the ladder to walk into the mess that is Auburn. Still another is Jeff Fisher, the longtime Tennessee Titans coach and current coach of the St. Louis Rams. Yeah, that’s totally going to happen. His son plays for Auburn, but so does Rick Burgess’ boy. I don’t see the Rick and Bubba show coming to a halt because “the step brother called.”

So it all comes down to Gus Malzahn…essentially a coordinator hire with one year of junior league college head coaching experience for the Red Wolves of Arkansas State.

It makes sense, kind of. Football is evolving to a point where trickeration and deception is preferred in place of real, man football. Malzahn’s dipsy-doo, trickeroo offense was a thing of beauty when he served as OC in Auburn….as long as he had a freak of nature at quarterback. And we know that every team is just lined with Cam Newtons and Johnny Manziels.

So look for ole Gus and Crazy Kristy to be announced the week of the Iron Bowl, or possibly the week after. After Bama crushes Auburn for the second year in a row, at least future Iron Bowls will be fun again. Not because Auburn will have a chance. Nick Saban will anihilate Gus Malzahn.

No, future Iron Bowls will be enjoyable because Alabama strength coach Scott Cochran will have more messages for Gus Malzahn like this one:

Let the good times roll!


(Follow me on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)

47 Responses to “Who will Auburn hire next? Looks like it’s Gus Malzahn” Subscribe

  1. Indiana Vol November 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    Hey Bammer,

    RAMMER JAMMER, YELLER HAMMER,

    A&M JUST BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU!!

    • pete4tide November 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm #

      Please, Vol – just because you can’t find any satisfaction with the UT nation anymore doesn’t mean you can just roll up on a Bama blogsite and throw out your ridiculous posts. You are only making yourself look like a fool. The only reason you are even here is because Bama is a perennial contender – sort of what the Vols were before you ran off the only real coach you’ve ever had, and Bama had the down years. Now, UT is just another of Bama’s whipping boys, and it kills you that there is no relief in sight for years to come. Pretty soon, no one will be able to recall why anyone gets all fired up for the 3rd Saturday in October. Old timers like myself will relate fireside stories about how the Volunteers used to be a real football team, and not the whiney pantywaists they are now. So – run along, Indy – you are not relevant anymore, and you are nothing but a little yapping mexican dog at the foot of our throne. Move along there, before we have to put you down.

      • ITK November 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

        Oh it’s really pretty hilarious. I wish Indiana Vol would come back more. There’s nothing funnier than a Vol fan having to settle for others’ success because their own program SUCKS SO HARD!

        • Indiana Vol November 12, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

          GIG ‘EM!!

          • moose November 14, 2012 at 5:18 pm #

            poor little bitch

      • kj November 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm #

        bama overrated you guys were noting before nick saban

    • ITK November 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      LOL!

      Q: How do you know your team absolutely sucks?!?

      A: When you have to ride the coat tails of another team’s win over the team that keeps you up at night, you hate them so much.

      SIX IN A ROW OVER THE VOLS, Indiana Vol. And IT’S GONNA BE AT LEAST TEN BEFORE IT’S ALL OVER!!!! LOL!

      • Indiana Vol November 12, 2012 at 5:26 pm #

        I would not bet the farm on that Bammer Turd!

    • BamaBrando November 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm #

      STOMP YOUR HANDS AND CLAP YOUR FEET,
      RETARDATION CAN’T BE BEAT!
      -Idiot Vol

  2. Abraham November 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

    I’ll be the first to admit that AU can’t compete with Saban by trying to run the pro set offense. Auburn can’t consistently recruit the same level of talent that Saban has at Bama. Simply put, Auburn cannot out-Saban Nick Saban. The only teams that can consistently recruit to that level are LSU, Fla, and maybe Texas. Chizik was stupid to get away from Malzahn’s offense.

    Saban bitched about “injuries” with the spread, HUNH because he knows that is the type of offense that can beat him. Since 2008, Saban has lost to Fla, Utah, Auburn, and TAMU. All ran some version of the spread, HUNH. The only pro-style teams he lost to were LSU and So. Carolina.

    On a different subject, give me your honest opinion ITK. If Texas fires Mack Brown and offers Saban 10 million per year, will he go? If you dismiss that as ridiculous, you’re not being objective. Texas would make the offer in a heartbeat, and Saban could certainly win another NC at Texas. If he did that, he would probably be considered the greatest college coach that ever lived by winning an NC at three different schools. He has nothing left to prove at Bama. Is the lure of immortality enough to sway him away?

    • pete4tide November 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

      Let’s keep the history current there, Abe. Alabama has lost to “spread” offenses at the schools you named – ONCE. When given the next chance to play these teams, whether the same season or the next, Saban’s teams dominated them. I expect the same when Bama plays aTm again, with Johnny M or without. These West Coast offenses typically get one chance to beat a team like Bama or LSU, and they typically don’t get to do it again. Defensive coaching in this league just won’t allow any “new” offensive strategy to live long, and certainly not a lightning in a bottle QB to continue to have any major success. Cam found that out in the pros, and Tebow found it out his last year at UF. Johnny M will find it out as well, possibly as soon as bowl season.

    • ITK November 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

      Honestly Abraham, there’s no amount of money that Texas could offer Nick Saban that Alabama wouldn’t and couldn’t match, or even exceed.

      Money isn’t a lure for him or else he’d be in the NFL. There are many teams right now that would hire him if they thought he’d be interested.

      At 61, why would he go to another school, for equal money, and start “the process” over? He has it like he likes it, has recruiting on cruise control right now, and is at a program that nets 10+ wins a year.

      Remember, he had never won back-to-back 10-win+ seasons anywhere else before coming to Bama. Saturday he’ll bag his fifth in a row.

      People look at Texas like it is the creme dela creme of college coaching jobs. I’m sorry, it’s just not. You may disagree, and even hate the idea of this, but Alabama is about as good as it gets, especially when things are in the working order they are in right now. I’m sorry again, but it just is.

    • moose November 14, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

      dream on, sack and ashes

  3. K-Dog November 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    You were wrong then, and you’re wrong now. But thanks for the belly laughs over your “sources.”

    • ITK November 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

      Will you promise to come back here and admit you were wrong when it is announced?

  4. Abraham November 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm #

    Pete, Bama may have lost to those teams “once”, but that’s one more time than the other teams that have lined up in the pro set against Bama and repeatedly lost. You might also remember that Malzahn nearly beat Bama in 2009. It’s not like this is a brand new style of offense that just came out last month. There’s tons of film on it to watch and get prepared. The truth is that it’s hard to defend when it’s run well. Also remember that there are different ways to run it. Malzahn runs a very balanced version that equally relies on running and passing. In fact, he had a 1000 yd rusher every year he was at Auburn.

    • ITK November 12, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

      Abraham, a spread offense is only dominant when you have a freak at QB that makes you keep one eye on him the whole time.

      Bama should have won Saturday night; a bad series of play calls on 1st and goal from the 6 was the difference.

      Bama should have won the 2010 Iron Bowl. A series of freak occurences was the difference.

      Alabama will continue to be just fine against the spread.

      What was the score of last year’s Iron Bowl with Malzahn?

      • Abraham November 12, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

        I agree that Bama could match the money. The question is whether Saban would be lured by the possibility of being able to win a NC at 3 different schools, and therefore be considered the greatest college fb coach that ever lived. You didn’t address that. You don’t seriously contend that thought wouldn’t appeal to his ego do you? Oh yeah, Saban doesn’t have an ego.

        • ITK November 12, 2012 at 4:17 pm #

          I would just say he doesn’t care as much about a legacy as you hope he does. Unlike you, I know sources that know him.

        • The Conduit November 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

          But why? I mean, where? How?

          Saban could be lured to another school to win a title there….because another school is better prepared to fight for championships?

          I don’t expect you to like Alabama. But you have to at least understand the argument that there may be no other school more prepared to be in a position to fight for that tile than Alabama.

          For the last 5 years in a row that’s been the case. Who else can say that? USC? tOSU? LSU? Oregon? Do you think it won’t be true next year?

          Nobody wins them all, but where would you say the best place for Saban to go is? I’d say it’s still Alabama even if you don’t believe a word of what he’s said about staying there. But I also wouldn’t say it should be Texas, and that’s no disrespect to Texas.

          • almightytmc1 November 18, 2012 at 3:56 am #

            If I may inter ject. IF Saban was at Texas and had that much money and recruiting power. The NCAA would just mail them the trophy every year.

      • The Conduit November 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

        I agree with ITK. Alabama does fine against the spread, efficient even. I’d like to think they would have struggled against the University of Toledo last Saturday at least a little bit just because of the intensity of the LSU game, not to mention playing 3 out of 4 top-ranked teams in a row, 4 teams with bye-weeks before us including 3 on the road and some of the best o-lines on Earth.

        Go stub your toe. Now get someone to punch you in the arm. Now the chest. Do it again, several dozen times, week after week for an hour a day.

        Then find a guy 2.5 times his size to do the same thing. Let me know if you can take a single hit.

        I stub my toe and I struggle not to swear. Alabama is struggling with injuries and inexperience particularly in pass defense and the pass rush, then a BRUTAL road schedule. I did stub my toe last weekend, and it still hurts. And I’m not playing football. Most people can’t even imagine what it’s like to play Alabama’s schedule, but neither can Oregon (who I actually like).

        But make no mistake—-a spread offense only works when their QB is perfectly healthy. My stubbed toe isn’t losing football games, but if a QB like Manziel hits his pinky on a helmet after a long toss, his entire team drowns on offense. A twisted ankle directly correlates with at least one to two losses, possibly more.

        If he even gets a headache they have to start a prayer chain.

        It’s also the kind of problem Alabama doesn’t have, including on both sides of the ball. But Alabama did the same thing they did to nearly lose to LSU—–too many fundamentals mistakes. Take just one of them away and Alabama is Miami-bound. That might all be speculation, but if you think Alabama’s weakness is the spread offense, all I’m saying is it’s not.

        • pete4tide November 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm #

          Excellent commentary, Conduit. aTm had to have a perfect storm situation to come out of that game with a victory. Just like we’ve been saying on here the whole season – it’s not the other team that Alabama has to be worried about, it’s Alabama. They are the only team that can wear them down and defeat them. This game takes place in two weeks, or two weeks ago, it’s a different outcome. Take away LSU’s bye week before Bama and that game is a blowout. Everyone needs either an advantage in their prep or for Alabama to make some critical, perfectly-timed mistakes in order to get a whiff of a chance to win against them. Otherwise, Bama’s taking home the cake every week.

          • almightytmc1 November 18, 2012 at 3:58 am #

            Very true Pete.

  5. RC November 12, 2012 at 3:53 pm #

    First, Mack Brown isn’t going anywhere! You can play that “comparison” game where OU smashed UTexas, K-State smashed OU, so K-St must smash UTexas. If you believe that garbage, you never played football. It’s all about the matchups, player on player, coaches vs coaches (strategy). Texas will beat K-State. Count on it

    Second, THIS IS NOT PRO FOOTBALL, where coaches change jobs like underwear…Saban is not Dennis Fran, & Bama is a traditional power. They can match Texas in dollars, but they won’t have to. 9 recognized National Championships, 14 Total. Please, though ABE, continue to humor yourself

  6. Abraham November 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    ITK, I must respectfully disagree. The difference on Saturday night was Johnny Manzeil. Period. If Bama would have scored, that kid would have turned around and scored again to win the game. As to the 2010 Iron Bowl, I guess you’re talking about Ingram’s fumble going down the sideline and into the end zone. I’ll never understand why Bama fans think the only two possibilities for that ball was to either go out of bounds or into the end zone. The freakish thing was that the ball didn’t bounce back into the middle of the field and get recovered by one the 3 Auburn players who were within 5 yds of the play. Given that Antoine Carter punched the ball out with his right hand swinging in a right to left direction, that’s what whould have happened 9 times out of 10. In close games, there are always decisions you’d like to have back and breaks that go the other way that can affect the game. We only seem to remember the ones that go against us in close games. If Les Miles were not a complete and utter idiot in his play calling, Bama would have lost to LSU last week. Doesn’t matter. He is an idiot, and Bama won.

    As to last year’s Iron Bowl, Chizk completely handcuffed Malzhan by making him slow everything down after the Clemson game. Auburn went from scoring 45 points against MSU to being completely anemic after that. That being said, that was one of the greatest defenses in history. No one could score against Bama that year. Those guys are in the NFL now, and the guys left behind just gave up 450 yards of offense two weeks in a row.

    • ITK November 12, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

      And what’s Auburn’s defense giving up these days?

      I find it humorous when Auburn and Vol fans have to count on the success of others against a team their pathetic programs won’t be able to beat for at least another five years.

      Do you understand how wide the gap is between Auburn and Alabama? Years, Abraham. It’ll take years to make up the difference. Not a season or two. Years.

      Bama doesn’t just win against Auburn now. We curbstomp you. We utterly destroy you to the point you won’t have 1,000 fans in Bryant-Denny on Nov. 23.

      How’s that taste?

      And as for the 2010 Iron Bowl, you forgot Barron not being able to lift his arm making the TD possible, Richardson dropping a sure TD that would’ve made it 28-0, McElroy fumbling in scoring position and Anthony Steen standing still with the ball touching his heel but not recovering it. And yes, the freak fumble. All of the offensive miscues happened in scoring position. It should’ve been 42-0. But the planets had to align for Auburn to get that win.

      And that’ll be what has to happen over the next five years. Obama will be in his second year of retirement before Auburn has a chance against the Tide again.

      • Abraham November 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm #

        Wow, that was quite a vitriolic response to a couple of casual observations. You having a bad day or something? If you think i’m here to defend what’s going on at Auburn right now, you must have me confused with someone else. If you’re gonna play the “fluke” card for the 2010 Iron Bowl, that could go both ways. How about the fact that Bama figured out Auburn’s signals, and that Auburn didn’t even figure that out and change them until midway through the 2nd qtr? You think that had a little something to do with how that game dramatically changed around from Bama imposing it’s will to being dominated in an instant? By the way, there’s nothing wrong with figuring out another team’s signals as long as it’s done within the confines of the rules, and I think Bama did it legitimately. Bama just didn’t have any answers once that little trick ran its course.

        • ITK November 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

          “Figuring out signals” is a matter of debate. What happened on the field is/was not debatable.

          But just remember your one shining moment was 1-point, unlikely and improbable win. We’re getting ready to drop the hammer on you by half a dozen touchdowns, again. Your offense won’t score for the 2nd year in a row in the Iron Bowl. You’ll always have swimming though.

          • Abraham November 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

            I don’t think there’s any debate about whether Bama figured out the signals. I agree that what happened on the field is not debatable, and what happened is that Auburn overcame a 24 point deficit in the most hostile environment I’ve ever seen and won the game. It was two years ago. It’s over. I don’t know why you still dwell on it.

            I love how you think you can predict what’s going to happen next year in college football, much less 3 or 4 years from now. Has history taught you nothing? Who the hell thought TAMU would storm the conference with a freshman phenom qb? Who the hell thought Petrino would have gotten fired and that Arky would be this bad? Who thought the East would be so strong this year? Auburn might hire Malzahn, bring in a JUCO qb that’s 6 foot 6 with a cannon arm that runs like a deer, and run the table. Auburn might hire Butch Jones, and go 7-5 three years in a row. The truth is nobody knows.

          • pete4tide November 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

            Exactly what is the problem with figuring out the other team’s signals? Are you saying that the Barn wouldn’t take advantage of something like that? No – instead, they’ll use their goober fans to make it difficult for the other team to even get to the field by tying up traffic around the area with their tractors and combines all over the place, or even causing a big accident to slow things down.

            You’re a goober yourself, Abe, if you think that every team isn’t out there trying to get every advantage they can get over their opponents. And it’s not like it’s hard to get the Barn’s signals – their just holding up big pictures for the players to look at – no complicated hand signals for these scholar-athletes to have to figure out. It’s like the whole stop-and-look-at-the-sidelines-every-play-Pop-Warner-offensive schemes that Frank likes to use. Why don’t they just ask Commissioner Slive if they can put a coach behind the backfield of the offense to call the plays like they do in all the 8- and 9-year old football league?

          • Abraham November 14, 2012 at 9:32 am #

            Pete, let me repeat verbatim what I said two posts above about figuring out signals: “By the way, there’s nothing wrong with figuring out another team’s signals as long as it’s done within the confines of the rules, and I think Bama did it legitimately.” You now ask what my problem is with figuring out another team’s signals. What part did you not understand?

          • pete4tide November 17, 2012 at 5:27 pm #

            I fell asleep halfway through your post and didn’t read that part. I take back my retort on stealing signals. You are still dwelling on the fairytale season that was the result of the last coach’s signees and a JC QB that will never happen again for another 50 years at the barn. And if Malzahn is the hire, forget ever winning another Iron Bowl without trumping up some NCAA investigation against Bama to help you out, cause he will never out work CNS in recruiting or coaching. Trickery never works more than once in a league. aTm will find that out next year, and possibly in their bowl game.

  7. RC November 12, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

    I don’t know how many “years” UA is ahead of AU, but I would guess at least 3-4 years. Despite a very high turnover from their great recruiting classes, I do think the right hire (whoever that is) would have them competing within 3-4 years. I don’t think Malzahn is that guy, though

    • ITK November 12, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

      He’s not the guy to bring them back, but he’s the guy they are getting ready to hire. Write it down.

  8. RC November 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm #

    Indiana Vol,

    Tennessee and AU are closer than they appear :)

  9. Fat_Dye November 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

    Abe brought all this old shit up but we are the ones ” dwelling on it” .

  10. Christy Malzahn November 13, 2012 at 7:06 pm #

    I ‘am the future QUEEN of Auburn. And if you don’t mind me saying, that Kiehl Frazier andJohnathon Wallace make me hotter than August in Texas!!!

  11. Arthur Gustav Malzahn III November 13, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

    To Christy, like….SHUTUP!!!

  12. Fat_Dye November 13, 2012 at 7:15 pm #

    ^

  13. almightytmc1 November 14, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    Ah… the good ol’ days. We all remember Christy don’t we. I couldn’t find a copy of the legendary SUMMIT video. But ….oh hell yeah….Bring back Gus. Can you imagine a dumpster fire being put out with dynamite?

  14. Jake November 16, 2012 at 9:55 am #

    Let us see what the liar Isadore gGould has to say…as if anyone pays any attetion to that bunta.

  15. Fat_Dye November 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm #

    Ih oh Vol,looks like Kiffin has left something else for the storied program of yours. The guy is gone and Tenn is still being punished for him and his staff doings. :(

  16. Fat_Dye November 18, 2012 at 12:15 am #

    good one kj

  17. Fat_Dye November 18, 2012 at 11:16 am #

    So if Bama is overrated and we were nothing before Nick Saban, how is that and what does that make us now? Im confused

  18. RC November 18, 2012 at 2:18 pm #

    Well, no shit KJ. From ’97-’07, Bama football sucked ass. What’s your point, butt plug?

  19. brad February 13, 2013 at 9:38 am #

    Dude your an idiot Obama lost to auburn six years in a row and auburn has dominated Alabama for the last decade or so win six in a row then u can talk shit until then its war damn eagle!!!

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