Arkansas vs. Auburn: Pillow fight on the plains

Today worlds collide in Lee County, Alabama as two of the most hapless programs in college football collide on the gridiron.

The dysfunctional Arkansas Razorbacks (1-4) march into Jordan-Hare Stadium to take on the impotent Auburn Tigers (1-3). That’s right, combined the teams are 2-7, with impressive wins over Jacksonville State and LaMonroe (in OT).

Moral Victory U will face the Razorbacks fresh off an impressive showing against LSU two weeks ago, where yet another team rolled into Jordan-Hare uninspired to give the Tigers an “A” game to contend with.

Storylines to watch:

• Will Onterio McCalleb break the NCAA record for most rushes ending with a sprint out of bounds? He only needs 4 to own the record. I mean, there are times he runs out of bounds with his shoulders square to the pressbox. Impressive.

• Will John L. Smith say something stupid in an on-camera interview?

• Will Auburn head coach Frank Chiznik honestly refer to a win in the post game presser as a “great win for Auburn University?”

• Will Tyler Wilson’s offensive line even try?

• Will both defenses hold the total yards gained to under 1,000?

Either way, with an Auburn win Auburn fans will declare that their season has taken an upward turn…a win that would be the equivalent of kicking a kitten. A loss and the armor of a supposed championship program continues to crumble.


(Follow me on Twitter for Bama news, commentary and smack.)

23 Comments

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  1. 1
    A Ganger

    (X~D)
    They both suck so bad I’m laughing so hard my eyes are crossed…
    Roll Tide Y’all
    Protect America, Build Submarines

  2. 3
    Crimsonite

    Does the result of this game mean we’re going to beat Awbie 70-0? Bwaa Haww Haww! How embarrassing! Did they actually win a Natty just 20 months ago? RTR!

    • 4
      JW

      No Crimson they actually stole,,cheated,lied,for a Natty..As we all can see by today”s game it will be a long long and i mean long damn time before they get another!!! SCREWEM!!!!! ROLLTIDEROLL!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. 7
    Crimsonite

    Don’t know what you guys tv options are, but I’m at BWW in Muscogee, Ok where I can watch the Virginia – Duke game. Man I’m excited cause Phillip Simms is getting his first start. 6 plays and two beautiful passes, 80 yards and a TD on first possession. I love that guy. RTR!

  4. 8
    prophet

    Do what I did and call guttercap today. If you fall off the roof and die…youll be no good to the wife and kids.

    • 9
      Crimsonite

      And what rock did you crawl back out from under? It’s been a long ass time since I’ve seen you on here – not long enough.

  5. 10
    Crimsonite

    Wow! The Gayturds are giving the Corndogs hell right now. We may just be getting a bye to the SECCG. Bwaa Haww Haww! RTR!

  6. 11
    Crimsonite

    Well folks we’re fixing to see if ol’ Patrick Dye was just blowing it out his ass again when he gave Cheezedick a vote of confidence the other day. Those poor dweebs are looking at a realistic season of 4-8 unless they lose to that other SEC team that they can’t seem to get a winning record against – you know, Vanderbilt. In which case they will be 3-9. Ouch! RTR!

  7. 14
    Crimsonite

    Did ya’ll see how the refs just fucked Florida out of field position. They blew the whistle after the fumble instead of letting the play finish out. So Floridum got the ball after the review where the fumble occurred when the Floridum DB could have picked it up and run forever. Stupid fucks.

  8. 15
    Crimsonite

    Poor Phillip Simms. He doesn’t stand a chance in hell with Virginia. Between Awbie and Virginia you couldn’t field a successful Tiny Mite team. This was his first game ever starting, but at this point I do believe Saban made the right choice with McCarron. Good luck Phillip. Hope things get better for you. RTR!

  9. 16
    Yellowhammer

    24-0 24-0 24-0 please aubies dont forget 24-0 Chizik is the man the team is young things will get better remember Pat Dye wouldnt take ANY coach over the chiz. Support him!!! He is part of the family, you cant fire him!

    • 17
      # 1 al. fan

      I heard that ol Pat Dye said the other day, that he would’nt take 10 Coach Sabans for ol Chezic!! and I repeat, I hope Dye signs Chizic up for 20 more years! after all he is Fambly……. RTR

  10. 18
    JW

    Come on Truth what the hell is the excuse??? I live in Denham Springs and listen to fat ass Buddy show every day..Boy i can not wait till monday to hear the melt down from the corn dogs..;LAUGHING MY ASS OFF RIGHT NOW THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!! ROLLTIDEROLL”””””’

  11. 19
    Chuch

    It was predicted on this site that the plane would be flying and I hear the engines warming up. Petrino may have his rededication moment much sooner than I thought. I just hope he doesn’t demand that they kick cpfd out of his office and get rid of the dysfunctional, cheating mess that they have. Where are all the barn trolls when you want them?

  12. 20
    WhoreEagle

    This place will get boring. I’m afraid we won’t hear anything from the Aubies or the Corndogs for a while.

  13. 22
    Be4Bama

    Yeah Chuch I was just thinking the same thing. I bet those trolls are still reading Capstone Report but too embarrassed to post a single word
    LoL…..RTR

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