Attention Gene Chizik: Zeke Pike fits in perfectly at Auburn

This week Auburn freshman quarterback Zeke Pike went home for the summer.

That’s right. It’s almost July. And while most college football players are busy conditioning, working out, and getting themselves ready for the grueling college football season, Auburn’s can’t miss QB phenom has packed it in for his home state of Kentucky.

The punk kid who took on the Alabama fanbase via twitter last summer, before he ever donning a putrid orange and blue jersey, isn’t on campus.

Why, you ask? Well, it isn’t to take on a summer job or serve his community. Instead, the infamous tweeter was either sent home or allowed to go home by Auburn head coach Gene Chiznik because, well, he needs time to think.

To think about whether or not he’s cut out to play college football. To think about whether or not he has what it takes to be a team leader under center. To think about whether or not he really wants to be an Auburn man.

Auburn man? Gene, what are you talking about?

Zeke Pike was MADE for Auburn! He exemplifies everything about the school’s athletic program.

Sure, he got busted last Saturday night on a charge of public intoxication. Sure he was suspended for his first and last game of his high school senior season…the first because of being ejected from the last game of the previous season, the last for (alledgedly) “getting a little help from his friends” Cheech and Chong style in the high school locker room. Sure trouble seems to show up wherever he goes.

So what he was ejected from 7-on-7 tournament game in high school after heaving a ball in anger at an official.

Auburn, Zeke Pike is what you want!

I’ll never forget Auburn QB Ben Leard throwing the ball at an Alabama player late in the game in 1999, the clock winding down with Auburn’s first defeat on the plains drawing nigh. That’s the kind of umph the Tigers would get from Pike. Nothing says leadership like your field general picking a fight on the field.

Remember, we’re talking about the team that lost a player to federal prison just this month, with two more waiting to be sentenced.

Those players, remember, used the gun of former Auburn running back Michael Dyer, who testified he also used the wacky weed while at Auburn.

We all scratched our heads at how Auburn’s BCSNCG MVP stayed clear of any wrongdoing in the armed robbery case involving Antonio Goodwin Mike McNeil, Shaun Kitchens and Dakota Mosley. In most cases the person contributing the weapon is considered an accomplice.

Remember, this is the program that exalted Nick Fairley, who played anything BUT fairly. In 2010 Fairley delivered cheap shot after cheap shot, almost starting a riot in the Georgia game. If you didn’t want to be hit late you didn’t need to line up opposite Fairley and the Auburn’s defense.

This is also the program that exalted a known thief and academic fraud in Cam Newton. His malfeasance while at Florida was well-documented, stealing a laptop and fleeing the school for JUCO as he faced academic expulsion. Yet when he got to Auburn, he was considered a hero…I bet those online courses Auburn allowed him to take (in lieu of having to go to a real class) were 100% legitimate too.

And don’t forget about Eric Smith, who intentionally cleat kicked an Oregon player in the face mere feet away from Auburn’s heach coach, only to receive “a firm talkin’ to” before being sent RIGHT BACK into the game. This is the same player who “allegedly” beat a fellow Auburn student at a hotel, leaving him for dead in the parking lot. Yet, he was allowed to play on.

And of course, there’s Dyer, Auburn’s latest “answer.” The little shetland pony runningback was practically adopted by Bo Jackson, who apparently would break into cold sweats if Dyer came off the field and he couldn’t put his arm around him.

But what do Dyer, Fairley, Smith and Newton all have in common? Let me crack the code for you:

If you contribute at Auburn, you’re in. As in all in. As in the fambly will cover for you. But if not, you’re not.

Simply put, if Zeke Pike would’ve just waited until he was named the starting quarterback, and led the Tigers to wins over LSU, Georgia and/or (especially) Alabama, Pike could sacrifice babies on the 50-yard line and the Auburn Fambly would simply sing “Lean On Me” has he did.

I can still hear the voice of an Auburn friend of mine who assured me “Zeke Pike” was the future for Auburn, maybe even winning the starting job as early as this year. Sadly, this is the same poor soul who assured me Auburn “wouldn’t miss a beat” this season with T.J. Yeldon at runningback.

But if Auburn’s head coach, Gene Chiznik, would just listen to me…and the Auburn Fambly, if you would just lend me your ear, let me reason with you. Give Zeke Pike another chance.

Because the little punk exemplifies everything your program is…perfectly.


(Follow me on Twitter for capstonereport.com news, commentary and smack.)