Yesterday the University of Mississippi fired another head coach over a poor track record of on-field performance. Houston Nutt, after four seasons as the head coach for the Rebels, has been shown the door.
But people, don’t forget this is Ole Miss we’re talking about…which begs the question:
“Ole Miss, who in the world do you think you are?”
Coaches get fired over lack of production in a short period of time in places like Alabama, Texas, Oklahoma…you know, places on the map of college football.
Coaches at these places should find success in four years. Coaches at your school couldn’t find success if they were allowed fifteen players on the field and were spotted a 14-point lead every game.
When your school’s only real tradition is how neat-o your tailgating is, you don’t make the list of relevance. When you have a goofy black bear trolling your sidelines because your legacy is racism, your name’s not mentioned alongside programs that matter.
So you think four years was enough time for Nutt? Let’s check your track record.
You dismissed your best coach in ages when you tossed David Cutcliffe. Coach Cut gave you your only real taste of relevance in most of your fanbase’s lifetimes…at least those 40 and under. He went 44-29 in six seasons, including a tie for first in the West in 2003 and only one losing season, his last at Ole Miss before you thought you could do better.
So who’d you turn to? A total baffoon. Ed Orgeron redefined the term clown, leading clowns everywhere to revolt and hate your football program.
When Houston Nutt took over, that marriage was like Elisha Cuthbert marrying John Heder. Here’s a hint, YOU’RE John Heder (Napolean Dynomite). You didn’t deserve him; you weren’t good enough for him.
And yet, now after a couple of bumps in the road, you’re off looking for another mate.
And I hope to goodness you get what you want. If you do land Gus Malzahnn, I will spend the next three years watching SEC defenses dismantling the dispy-doo, trickeroo offense, along with its pictures of oversized president and celebrity heads on the sidelines.
But here’s some advice. Whoever your next beau is, leave him alone for two decades. It’ll take that long to build your program. Why?
You’re not Alabama.
You lose. It’s what you do.
You’re Ole Miss.