Auburn Leprechaun at it again

In a shocking turn of events, Auburn won’t have to face a team that’s at full strength.

The news of LSU’s suspension of three key players for their game with Auburn this weekend actually isn’t shocking at all.

It’s straight from the Auburn script.

Dad told me about a thing called Auburn luck as a child; few things in my life have substantiated themselves time and time again like this phenomenon.

But there may never be a program who benefits from the misgivings of its opponents like Auburn University. Like the sucker fish that swims along side a shark, Auburn stands by and receives crumbs of charity like no one else.

Just this season, in no particular order:

• Florida quarterback John Brantley is injured against ‘Bama on a play that should’ve never happened, had the officials correctly awarded a fumble to Alabama on the previous play. Brantley goes down the next play and isn’t available when the Gators face Auburn. In a painfully agonizing game to watch, Auburn barely scrapes by a team with no quarterback. If Brantley plays, Florida (who isn’t the fierce Florida of old) wins by two touchdowns. Oh, and Jeffrey Demps, part 2 of Florida’s speedy running back combo, misses the game with injury as well.

• Auburn faces South Carolina, a team with seven quarterbacks on the roster but in the midst of a continual cognitive dissonance in the mind of head coach Steve Spurrier when it comes to his infatuation with multi-year starter but under achiever, QB Stephen Garcia. The Cocks’ QB play in their game with Auburn is horrid as Garcia and Auburn QB Barrett Trotter battle it out to see who can throw the most balls in the dirt. Auburn scrapes by with the ugly win. USCe kicks Garcia off the team the next week and the Gamecocks look like a new team with their new QB, Connor Shaw. If Shaw would’ve gotten the start and performed as he has the last two weeks, the Gamecocks beat Auburn by at least a touchdown.

• Then you have team implosions that happen on a regular basis, like Utah State looking like they didn’t know onside kicks were legal, and Dan Mullen again choking all over himself when facing the Tigers.

• Now LSU welcomes Auburn to Death Valley missing a major part of their running game and a Heisman Trophy contender in the secondary and special teams; easily these losses are the difference in at least a touchdown for the Bengal Tigers. LSU should still curb stomp Auburn, but yet again it’s an opponent that puts the game on a lower shelf that Auburn can reach, rather than facing Auburn at full strength. Oh, and we’ll just all be shocked if these players are back on Nov. 5, won’t we?

But it’s not just this season; a couple of quick remembrances:

• The famous 2005 “eleven sack game” against Auburn came as a direct result of ‘Bama’s starting center being injured the previous game against Mississippi State. Lack of both depth and an able replacement at center, the most important position on the line, especially on the road in a hostile environment, created havoc that the Tigers stumbled into and benefitted from, free of charge.

• In 2007, Alabama’s lone playmaker, Javier Arenas, sustained a high ankle sprain against Louisiana-Monroe, again the week before Auburn. Saban was working with former head coach Mike Shula’s players in this year with few weapons at his disposal. ‘Bama lost 17-10 the following week to Auburn, though Arenas, who finished with multiple punt and kick-off returns for touchdowns, could have been the difference. Even with Saban’s steller recruiting, Alabama has had few players like Arenas who could flip the field so quickly on special teams.

After seeing Gene Chizik drob two F-bombs on the sidelines against Clemson on national television, the clergy-like status so many Auburn fans want to bestow upon him has made me chuckle.

But seeing how many breaks Auburn seems to be handed, well…now I’m not so sure. Maybe it is a God thing.

Still, it would embarrass me to no end if my football program had to count on others’ missteps, mistakes and misgivings to be competitive. I’d rather win like Alabama, where your team comes in at full strength and still gets pounded into oblivion.

But don’t be surprised if Auburn doesn’t eek-out a win in Death Valley this weekend while the opponent at hand isn’t at full strength. It’s the Auburn way.

Just don’t ask Auburn fans to admit it.


(Follow me on Twitter for capstonereport.com news, commentary and smack.)

36 Comments

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    • 2
      CRIMSON HAMMAH

      not a snowball’s chance in hell au beats the spread vs lsu….au not lucky just cheating to be a mediocre if not for cheating they would be tied with vandy all-time …wait

      • 3
        FBJ Lives

        After your constant rants about the NCAA dropping the hammer on Auburn for 13 months, your services for providing information for us here are no longer needed. Good luck in your future endeavours, Hammah.

    • 6
      ITK

      Fumbled ball traveling 40 yards 1-foot from the sidelines and out the back of the endzone…

      All-American Safety ripping a pectoral and not telling anyone, rendering him useless on a sure INT…

      Possibly this year’s Heisman winner letting a sure TD reception bounce off his chest…

      Bama OL standing and watching his sacked QB on the ground while the fumbled ball touches the back of his shoes…

      Yep, you’re right. Good call Auburn Guy.

        • 8
          BamaBrando

          Auburn was really fortunate to win several games last season. The close calls at Clemson, Miss. St., Auburn, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Alabama could have easily been lost if one play goes the other way. No way Auburn dominated anyone in the way Bama has done during their last two championship runs, and this season. You guys did win them all, I give you that. But you had more than your share of breaks last seaosn, and you guys have been getting them this season as well. Will it be enough to beat Bama this season? Hell no.

          • 9
            FBJ Lives

            Looks that way doesnt it Brando? But we shall see…… Bama does look very strong and dominate, but as someone once said, You play to win the game. I would take last year and the breaks we got all over again in a heartbeat.

    • 11
      almightytmc1

      yeah I read all the time that Bama fans are supposed to be humbled by that ginormous 1 point loss. Lets look at this from an objective point of view. The best team Auburn has ever had beat Bama by one whole point. I guess that shows you the standards of both programs.

  1. 12
    WhoreEagle

    Well, I guess we’ll be getting a lot Jim Jones followers defending the cult with this article.

    The only thing that would make the game even close was if Les Miles coaches too much.

  2. 13
    CRIMSON HAMMAH

    COMEBACK KIDS – BAMA PRESS TEAM @ WED PRESSER-GREAT JOB WORKING THROUGH FEAR AND INTIMIDATION TO ASK GOOD TN FOOTBALL GAME QUESTIONS.KUDOS TO ALL WITH THE BALLS

  3. 14
    # 1 al. fan

    All this is just a bunch of crap!! The aubies can celebrate all they want about the suspensions at Lousyanna U. Its all a smoke screen guys!! get real,!! They are gonna hand the Aubies the beat down so bad that ol’ Chiztix will wish he had stayed home to milk the cows!!! and be a nurse maid to those trees!! RTR

  4. 15
    Crimsonite

    I told ya’ll, when you sacrifice chickens you get small results. Now if the Awbies would have been sacrificing virgens they would have had multiple national championships by now. Then again we all know that there is no such thing as an Awbie virgin! Bwaa haww haww! RTR!

    • 18
      ITK

      Well, true to Auburn luck, count on it. The entire LSU offensive and defensive lines will come down with food poisoning and both starting QB’s will get arrested for human trafficking. AU wins 12-8.

      • 19
        almightytmc1

        12-8. No. It will be a total dominating beatdown of Auburn proportion. 14-13. And that only because Les Miles forgot to call a time out on the Auburn 2 yard line with 25 seconds left.

  5. 21
    LOL

    This isn’t making any sense. I’m lost. Since when did Bama fans cry about every game Auburn wins and every first down we get? Wait…what am I saying, things haven’t changed at all!

    I’m not going to read comments you post, so just save the effort.

    War Eagle.

  6. 23
    almightytmc1

    Aside from that we all know that there is no way in hell Miles will hold out the honeybadger and Ware for the Bama game. Thats why this suspension it is an “internal (or in house) thing. Miles wants that National Championship desperately to prve once and for all he is better than Saban…….. But it doesnt matter. Saban will have this team ready. And with a bye week and fresh bodies Bama will do what they always seem to do. Look at the clemson game where Bama was supposed to lose. And lets not forget the Georgia Black out game where it was over at halftime. Or making Tebow cry. Or the Michigan State game where Bama went out and slaughtered what was supposed to be one of the best teams in the country. I have no doubt Bama will win this game. Because Saban will leave nothing to chance. I also have no doubt this will be the hardest hitting game of the last decade. It will be brutal. And if it is on brutality alone. Bama will win.

  7. 24
    Auburn Tiger Fan

    YOUSA! Chizik is a genius. Him and the Gus Bus have been playing thier cards close to the ol’ vest. And now they are about to open up the storm and fury on the unsuspecting other wannabe tigers from LSWho. Then its a coast to the Iron Bowl. And once again expect Auburn to pull some magic out in Jordan Hare and then its on to Atlanta where Auburn will rebeat somebody. And then… More Crystal. REPEAT EAGLE!!!

  8. 25
    secJ

    I have noticed, in my forty plus years of playing, watching and coaching football, that there is one team that stands out over all the rest when it comes to luck. When it comes to the ball bouncing a certain way, the ref calling (or not calling) a penalty or the misfortune of a player(s) on the opposing team. That being said, I would bet my left marble that the person that wrote this…or should I say the person that had someone write this for him, even though never having stepped foot in a classroom there, much less graduated, calls himself a fan(atic) of this team. Just a greyhound….and just for fun War Eagle.

  9. 27
    secJ

    Someone said cheat!? Paul Bryant should be crowned Grand Poopa of that….then his name and likeness should be banned from all that is football. What a hack….scum.

  10. 31
    Crimsonite

    Bear Bryant never cheated! Didn’t need too. Bama already had the tradition to bring in top recruits long before Bryant came and then he added the ability to build a winning program at joke schools like Maryland, Kentucky and Texas A&M. There was no need to cheat. If he was going to cheat he would have bought players capable of beating Notre Dame. LOL! If my memory serves me correctly Awbie was the first ever school busted for paying athletes. Then others came along and even SMU got the death penalty. All of this during the Bryant era and yet the “King Of Cheaters” was never touched. Right!
    If Bear cheated then you have to accuse Darrell Royal, John McKay, Bo Schembecler, Woody Hays, Ara Parsigian, Joe Paterno, Bud Wilkenson, and General Neyland. And even Shug Jordan – oh wait! Bwaa haww haww! RTR!

  11. 32
    M07

    I can always count on Alabama fans to cook up an excuse for Alabama losing/not winning and Auburn winning/not losing!

    I guess by your logic since Barrett Trotter isn’t the starter anymore we can just write off those two losses currently on record right? And let’s not stop there! Let’s write off every loss in the past Auburn had when they played without a starter due to injury or suspension!

    In fact let’s just write off this whole 2011 season because Auburn’s roster is dominated by inexperienced underclassman as per your issue with depth.

    I guess if I made so many outrageous excuses for a loss, I could actually understand why the Alabama fanbase has always been so delusional.

    • 33
      M07

      Btw Auburn has played the last few games w/o it’s top two recievers Emory Blake and Trovon Reed and both will likely miss the LSU game. So if Auburn loses, I’ll be sure to write it off too because of that.

      • 34
        pete4tide

        But, hey, no excuses or anything, right? Get out of here, poser – you’ve got no business on this site with your poor mouthing. Even Chiznik is man enough to admit they got their butts handed to them Saturday, not make excuses. LUWhoo would have beat the daylights out of last year’s Barn team with the way they played Saturday. Quit making excuses for them – it’s not dignified, and it proves you are a fair weather fan.

  12. 35
    Crimsonite

    And you damn sure better write off and delete the Iron Bowl cause it will be something you will want to forget real damn fast. And you can borrow the Detroit Lions to help you out for all we care dumbazz. RTR!

    • 36
      M07

      Congrats, Alabama can beat a depleted Auburn team. Heres a cookie. Too bad they can never beat ’em when they’re good. It would be like it was for AU when they beat UF last week; kind of cool since they’re UF but who really cares, they suck this year.

      Plus it would have little revenge for last year since virtually all of AUs team from last year is gone replaced with a bunch of 18 and 19 year olds. It would be like you couldn’t beat up one guy, so you went and beat up his son. Awesome

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