PETA: “Auburn, stop pre-game eagle flights”

Spirit just wants in a sky box too, people.

Spirit flattens himself against the glass before the Mississippi State game.

It’s just not fair. First the FBI, then the NCAA, now PETA. Auburn just can’t seem to get up off the mat.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have spoken, and they want Auburn to stop using eagles for the pre-game jollies of its fans.

“Animals aren’t performers or party decorations, and they don’t deserve to be frightened, hurt or even killed just so we can have a momentary thrill,” said Lindsay Pollard-Post, a representave of the organization.

Eagles by nature are reclusive animals, and the organization holds that forcing them into an arena like Jordan-Hare Stadium, where “bright lights, screaming fans and music booming from sound systems” are disorienting, if not terrifying for the birds.

Evidence of this disorientation showed up last Saturday when Auburn’s current bird prisoner, Spirit, did a face plant into a skybox window pane.

According to Robbyn Brooks, another PETA representative, the eagles used “shouldn’t be shuffled around like sports equipment.”

“If given the choice, bald eagles make their homes near lakes, rivers and quiet forests, far way from human disturbance,” said Pollard-Post.

So why then is Auburn University being so mean to these poor animals, forcing them into situations involuntarily where the environment is anything but quiet and human-free?

But the eagles shouldn’t get their hopes up. If the Toomer’s Corner trees are any indication, where fans have been bombarding the dying trees with toilet paper…trees where past studies had shown that the trees were taking on ill-effects long before Harvey Updyke entered the scene…Auburn’s current verson of Toucan Sam doesn’t have a chance.

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