Following the Tiger’s “courageous” comeback against Utah State, the Auburn cult Fambly rolled Toomer’s Corner.

Auburn trailed a team that went 4-8 last season, didn’t record a win against a top 25 team and went 2-6 in the WAC in 2010.

In fact, if you’re counting at home the Aggies…

• Went 4-8 in 2010
• Went 4-8 in 2009
• Went 3-9 in 2008
• Went 2-10 in 2007
• Went 1-11 in 2006
• Went 3-8 in 2005

But who’s counting?

The mighty Tigers had to recover an onside kick in desperation to defeat the Washington Generals of college football (that’s a good one if you’re familiar with the Harlem Globetrotters).

Speaking of Trotters, Auburn’s replacement for $cam looked like anything but an SEC quarterback. Unless you get excited over pitch and catch against a team that Ole Miss or Vandy would blow out.

Auburn fan, you are staring 3-9 right in the face. Your team of top recruits (so don’t offer us excuses about youth) sucks. I wouldn’t make travel plans this bowl season.

But don’t let that stop you from celebrating a hilarious win by throwing butt paper in your dying trees (that were already dying before the nut job from Dadeville stepped in).

And we are loving it.

Think Dan Mullen has an axe to grind in your barn next Saturday?


(Follow me on Twitter for capstonereport.com news, commentary and smack.)

74 thoughts on “Auburn rolls Toomer’s Corner after win over hapless Utah State”

  1. Yep, they use the entire playbook, rely on onside kicks and blow redshirts to beat a lousy mid-major at home……..and this is how scarbinsky spins it:

    “When Gene Chizik says all hands on deck, he means it.”

    Hilarious.

    1. yep. And the next year they beat Auburn 36-0. AN the next year won the National Championship. As a matter of fact, since that loss (5 years ago) Bama has beaten the cupcakes the way they should. You keep hollerin about LA Monroe next week when Miss St. beats that ass. Onside kick to beat Utah St. Enough said, bitch!

    2. Bama = 37-5 since that game, bitch. But way to cherry pick a game from Saban’s first year.

      You are gonna love watching your Tigers this season, pal. I know I am.

  2. Kent State couldn’t beat UNA down here in Florence. So I would hold back on the bragging until you beat somebody. Utah State would have beat the hell out of Kent State as well, you mullet headed weirdos!

    1. Don’t think I’d herald a team that’s managed just 14 collective wins in the last five years as capable of beating the hell out of anybody.

      Nice try though. Butt hurt after a desperation effort against an awful team? Where’s Cammy?

  3. Where is FBJ at? You said I was a fool to think Utah St. had a chance to beat Auburn. That first loss next week IS going to sting… you guys better hope you get really good at onside kicks and trick plays this season, thats your only hope. You sure won’t be dominating anyone this year. You didn’t really dominate anyone last year, even with Cam. Bama handled their cupcake game the way they were supposed to. Watch big brother show you how it is done this year.

    1. Im here Brando, and Utah St. DIDNT beat Auburn. But I guess you can claim that moral victory. Mississippi St. will fall short also. Good luck in Happy Valley Saturday guys.

  4. Alabama actually lost to LA Monroe but you idiots are talking trash about Auburn WINNING? They roll Toomers for every win. 1-0 is 1-0.

    1. What does LA Monroe have to do with today? Bama won big over their opening cupcake. Auburn, once again, relies on desperation plays. Against Utah St. no less. Good luck coming from behind in every game, because you won’t be leading in many this year. F*** Auburn. I hope they lose every game.

  5. The only reason the Auburn Nation were sooooo upset their tree was poisoned was not because they love trees or nature. AUburn Univ has PLEADED with fans to NOT ROLL the damn trees as to not further plunge the health. And what do these crazy son of a bitches do after a win over a fifth tier team?? They roll the damn tree. Auburn fans don’t care about the tree, they just want to selfishly carry on the juvenile tradition

    1. Those trees will likely be dead before Auburn has another winning season. Let em roll it. It is their tradition, just like being Bamas little sister.

  6. I know this is a bit off-topic but after watching the Boise St./UGA game I’m reminded of how great it is to be a fan of a program that takes it’s traditions seriously, specifically with it’s uniforms.

    I struggle to come up with the words to describe the ugliness of the unis UGA wore tonite.

    I mean, if thats the direction they’re going, just quit football and take up roller derby.

  7. Roberto gerrardo Riviera, you guys win and all you got to toss at us is LA Monroe? Cmon man you got to have some better zingers than that.The defending National Champs should have easily won this game with their third string to hear you guys tell it. You guys barely squeezed by on this one. You shame the state of Alabama even with a W! LA Monroe pffft! Shouldn’t you be cleaning up toilet paper right about now? You make me laugh in real life with your funny comments! Keep living innthe past big fella cause that’s all you guys got now.

    1. Wow, did a Bama fan really just say “keep living in the past”? (actually you said “innthe past” but I get that typing is hard) That’s priceless!

  8. Well, one preseason prediction I made is starting to come true. I did say I thought as the season went along, we would be seeing less and less of the Aubies on this site. Robert G has some balls. Why he would remind us of La Tech (from 2007) has me scratching my head. Kinda like me reminding him of Vanderbilt and Kentucky (in 2008).

    Oh well, even Mr. G will be gone by this time next week. Auburn got the win, but I’m afraid Miss St. is better than Utah St.

    But Auburn is going to dominate next year? Right? (At least that is what I’m hearing from the Aubies)

  9. I honestly though Utah State was going to win that one — but Auburn relied on the whole play book and burned redshirts to manage a victory —- and they had the nerve to roll ToOmEr’S KoRnEr. What a phucking joke this program is going to be this year — and to think Mississippi State is going to punk that ass next week (lmao).

  10. What a joke. If the fambly had any awareness at all they would know that we are all laughing at them. Everyone in the country. They are a punchline, a asterisk, a footnote, a joke, a asterisk! Nobody cares about that group of cow fucking juvenile horse lovers. I bet they are over there doing damage control saying that utah state will win the wac and that they are going to get better. newsflash retard dumpster babies from the reject factory, this will be your only win this year and it was a fluke. go back to hell where you came.

    1. I believe you meant “an asterisk”. You also said asterisk twice. Capitalizing the first word of your bigoted, hate-filled crap is also recommended. It is alright though, I understand grammar is hard . On another note, no one around here is saying that Utah State (capitalization again) is going to win anything. Our team learned from a game that nearly went wrong and did better the next week against an opponent that we weren’t supposed to beat.

  11. What Roberta is trying to say is that Kent st. Is as good as awbarn! Im proud of you for admitting your team is awful Roberta! Good for you I say!

  12. RC the university allowed them yo roll the trespass this year I live near awbarn and it was in all the papers and on wsfa saying that the trees could be rolled sorry to bust a fellow bama fans bubble but its true!

  13. Dang, where are all the plainsmen? For a while there the CS was starting to look like an Auburn forum with all the fambly that was posting on here. I was hoping to see some smack talk today. Kinda quiet in here. Me sad. 🙁

    1. I just stumbled across this forum today and I can’t tell you how glad I am. It’s made my day! I’ve spent my whole life listening to Bama fans talk about how all Auburn does is obsess over Alabama. Looks like the Tide has turned. Hope you guys are making yourselves feel better in this little Aubaholic Support Group.

      1. Yeah, you would do anything so you won’t have to see the train wreck that is Auburn football this season…glad you have something to be happy about dude. (The only thing you are really seeing is that hatred you Auburn fans have had for so long against Bama, finally becomes equally mutual.)

  14. I admit I had that one in the lost column for the twee huggers yesterday, and was pissed when the sub-Mid-Major competition folded up. In the end, everything is clear. This is gonna be an amazing good time to be a Bama fan… and I am measuring time in years, not this season.

  15. Unless a miracle happens Awbie is doomed to a losing season, and that’s taking into consideration that Utah St plays top 25 teams tough in spite of being a suck azz team. As for everybody else – just had me an orgasm last night when South Florida planted the so called rejuvenated Notre Dame. Bwaa haww haww. The most impresive win was Oklahoma dismantling a Tulsa team that has been really goog for at least three years now. Next I guess wouLd be LSU considering the quality of players they were missing for that game. However, the score is a bit decieving in that they did not dominate. They won because Oregon turned the ball over worse than Bama did. Boise looked pretty good, but Georgia is way, way overrated, and if you remember they have sucked for 3 years in their opening games against good OOC teams. The most certain thing learned from the day is that the best defense in the nation resides in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and it needs to be if we,re going to survive the offense’s growing pains. RTR!

  16. Iknowwhatiknow:

    True, but the main pt I’m trying to make is these fans should be worried abt the health of the trees even if it means not rolling them. I mean they have to remove the tissue by hand now!! Also, if the AU nation were given a choice to either roll the trees and kill them, or not role them and save them, they would choose to role them to continue the juvenile tradition

  17. LOL!!!! You guys are classic. I can always count on a good laugh when I visit this site. Did Auburn struggle big time on Saturday? Yup. They also have 6 returning starters (3 on each side of the ball). I don’t care how talented the players are, or how great the coaches are, any team with that makeup is going to struggle. Will they loose more games this year? Of course. But then, every AU fan that comes to this site has said that since last spring. You guys write statements that suggest the AU family is in despair over Saturday’s performance. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it just isn’t true. We, unlike a large percentage of the ignorant Bama fanbase, recognize that this is a building year and players will need to gain experience. There were a lot of bright spots: For example, Quarterback back play was better than expected (74% completion percentage with 3 TD passes and 261 yards); Special teams looked sharp; The team didn’t give up and found a way to win; and Most of the defensive problems are fixable (e.g., alignment) and will likely improve as the season progresses.

    With regards to some of the other comments I have read from you guys since the game. Utah State is the same team that scared OU last year. Who did Kent State scare last year??? How about we wait till both teams play someone decent before we get ahead of ourselves. Don’t kid yourselves, Bama didn’t look particularly stellar (e.g., 4 turnovers).

    1. FYI, way to go trying to cover your ass. Bama handled their cupcake, and are having to replace some starters from last year also. Quit the excuses. I tried to tell y’all before the season Utah St. would give you all you wanted and y’all thought I was crazy. Now you are acting like you knew it all along. Why don’t you just admit the truth about Auburn fans? You would rather be lucky than good. You are alright with cheating, as long as you get away with it and win. And you can’t stand it when Bama gets the glory and Auburn lives in the shadow of the Crimson Tide no matter what you guys do.

      And compared to Auburn, Bama looked VERY stellar. Sure they made some mistakes. And they will get better each week. Will Auburn? Sorry dude, but that defense is terrible right now. The offense isn’t much better. The ONLY thing you have right now is decent special teams and that Auburn luck. Congratulations on the great comeback win, but, as you know, if Auburn plays that way during SEC games, you guys WILL get sh!t kicked out of you on a regular basis this year. With that big win, over a team who has won 14 games in 5 years, could likely cause you to fall out of the top 25. What a drop off from last year.

  18. BUILDING YEAR??? WITH THREE TOP FIVE CLASSES???

    You have got to be kidding me.

    Your coaching staff is a sham. Accept it friend. If you need us we’ll be contending for the 4th straight year.

    1. How many top 5 classes did Bama have the last 3 years? And what was the excuse you mullets used last year, something about don’t get excited about beating a three loss team that lost a lot of talent wasnt it? Everytime I try to give you the benefit of the doubt, your ignorance just shines through. Keep up the good work, you one sided dweeb.

      1. Yes, and Bama has been in contention for the NC every year. I don’t think Auburn will be in that conversation this year, but Bama is sure in the thick of things. You enjoy ‘rebuilding’ as Bama contends for yet another championship season.

  19. I just ran into an auburn fan friend of mine. His exact words were ” hey man we were ranked 24 or 25 at the start of the season last year, we got this” I told him good luck with miss st next week. Then we went separate ways. His optimism was inspiring.

  20. RC- You are right about that. I think the main thing is….they are just Auburn. Cannot much blame them. If anyone had their name changed as many times as they have they would feel like Liz Taylor,too. Another thing is the way the two schools were created. That alone pizzes them off. Yes, ole API just is pizzed at the world. Another thing is that I guess I could have been an Auburn fan also but….. I knew who my father was.

  21. Reality has finally kicked the barners squarely between the legs and they are having a hard time dealing with it.
    Got soooo tired of hearing, “Yeah, we lost 30+ players from last year, but we got sooooo many talented underclassmen coming onboard.”
    And now all you hear is, “But we only had 6 starters coming back…”
    Pathetic.
    The number of empty seats in JH with 5 minutes to go in the game for the defending national champs was a hoot.
    Done gone from all-in last year to a helluva-a-lot-out this year.
    Already.

  22. LOL!!!! Man, it never ceases to amaze me how you guys just make up stuff and discuss it as though it’s true. We’re not at all upset about the history of our school. I’m pretty damn proud of it for not only it’s great agricultural department, but also top notch engineering, psychology, and chemistry departments (to name just a few). We, Auburn fans and alumni, are also rational beings that recognized that this year would be a building year for next year. So, although it’s probably not as fun for you to believe, reality has not “kicked between the legs”. Keep making up crap though if it makes you feel better about yourself.

    1. You are not rational. Delusional, and busy making excuses I see, but you have never been very rational. I, as well as some other Bama fans here, have stated that Auburn would be lucky to get to a bowl game. Not ONE of you guys agreed then, so don’t play like you knew all along now that Auburn was going to look so terrible against Utah St.

  23. FYI,

    You obviously do care what we think about you or else you wouldn’t be on here, and don’t say it’s because you love Auburn crap. They’re not worth defending

    1. Thats all they ever talk about FYI. It is kind of funny when you think about it. Biggest collection of idiots gathered in one place that I have ever seen, lead by an internet rapist lmmfao.

      1. Yet you are here, smart guy. You called that Utah St. game. That loss next week is going to STING. I doubt the idiots will be here after that.

  24. I have lived out of the state for the last 10 years or so, and frequently show my friends this blog so they can appreciate how absolutely absurd Bama fans are (which by the way many outside of Alabama are finally getting a good idea thanks to Updyke). Let me tell you, if I sat down and tried to think of ways to portray Bama fans poorly, I could never think of anything that does a better job than you guys do on a daily basis. Go ahead and keep talking about Tuscaloosa as though it is a major metropolitan area… LOL!!!!!! Go ahead and keep pointing fingers and accusing everyone else of cheating while you’re still on probation… LOL!!!!! Go ahead and talk smack about AU’s win and boast about your performance against Kent State, despite losing to La Monroe… LOL!!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up.

    1. FYI, I’ve lived out of the state also for the past 10 years. And I show people this site, so they can see all the Auburn fans like yourself and Mandy, Indy, etc.

      First thing they say is…”Why are there so many Auburn fans on a Bama site?”

      Then they read the comments from these people…..

      “Go ahead and talk smack about AU’s win and boast about your performance against Kent State, despite losing to La Monroe… LOL!!!!!!!!!!”

      Really, FYI? You are going to go back to 2007 about the loss to La Monroe? Weak, man. Really weak.

      Wasn’t it the next year you guys lost to Vanderbilt and Kentucky?

      Plus, your nervous laugh is apparent (3 “LOL”‘s with multiple exclamation points?)

    2. FYI, Auburn is in its own class of absurd fan bases. Bama can’t touch the cult mentality of the barn fans. As you know, Alabama has a rich tradition that spans the history of the sport. Alabama has won national championships in nearly every decade for over 110 years now. So the fan base has high expectations every year.

      But Auburn, on the other hand, is not Alabama. Auburn has always wanted what Bama has, but can’t obtain it. So you guys always come across as jealous, you get no respect for your accomplishments, always the underdog, yet somehow think you are better than Bama and accuse the fans of living in the past, even though they are contending for national championships on a yearly basis NOW. You also treat rolling trees as a religious experience. Now THAT is absurdity at its finest right there.

      So, F–K Auburn, and the Auburn fans like you that can’t stay off of Bama sites. Bama is coming for you this year, and that ass-kicking isn’t going to be pretty.

  25. WHATS ALL OF THIS REBUILDING YEAR BILLSHIIT IM HEARING???? THREE TOP 5 RECRUITING CLASSES IN A ROW AND THATS THE BEST THEY CAN MASH TOGETHER FOR UTAH STATE? YALL MOTHER FUKKERS ARE BORDERLINE RETARDED!

  26. FBJ Lives,

    get the cocks out of your mouth. Nobody knows what the hell your gutless ass is talking about.

    Be the Christian you Auburn fans keep pretending to be, and turn the other cheek. You’re wasting your time defending that sorry ass cow college

    Alabama lost 9 players from the 2009 Championship team in 2010. What were all the jealous Auburn fans saying then? Yep, only difference is we lost to 3 GOOD teams, even though one team has been proven to be bought and paid for, but that will come out at some point.

    FBJ, you’re a pussy. I have continuously challenged you to meet me, so you, pussy, have no excuses at all. I tell you what now that it’s football season, we can meet at a sports bar in Birmingham. You name the time, date, and place, and I will be there. It’s all on you. Nothing but air and opportunity, bitch

  27. RC,

    Thank you for making my point. What you essentially just said was, Bama can LOSE 3 games, despite 3 or more top 5 classes, and it’s ok because “Bama lost 9 players from a championship team..” On the other hand, Auburn loses all but 6 total starters from a championship team (21 Auburn freshmen who made their college debut, and the 11 players who made their first college start) and they should feel bad about a close WIN? LOL!! Now your arguing that your losses are better than our wins… LOL!!!

  28. Auburn sucks this season. Point blank , no matter how you spin it it’s cold hard facts. LA Monroe or not Auburn still sucks. If you pray hard enough and give some good offerings the good lord might bless you guys with a couple wins more this year. I witnessed a miracle Saturday and it wad Auburn. ROLL TIDE!

  29. @ FYI-You still did not name the place for RC. Birmingham seems pretty central to me. Maybe he will buy you a beer after that beat down big mouth. RTR

  30. ON TAP SPORTS CAFE, 7327 29TH ST S, BIRMINGHAM, AL in the Lakeview District of SOUTHSIDE Birmingham.

    FBJ—I FOUND THE PLACE, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A DATE AND TIME….ALL ON YOU, BITCH

  31. You stupid cocksuckers are as retarded as ever. Nobody that I saw ever used the excuse of rebuilding for Bama last year. The talent was there to win the National championship going away from day 1 at San Jose State. What wasn’t there was the right attitude plus a shite load of critical injuries. Both of which were corrected against Michigan St as Bama ended the season as far and away the best team in the nation. Wish we could have got you cocksuckers again in the Cap 1 Bowl. F.O. RTR!

  32. Yes Crimsonshite there was TONS of excuses about bama’s 3 loss season last year. The 2 main ones was injuries and CAM NEWTON. Spin it any way you want crimsonshite but bammers made excuse after excuse no matter how silly they were. Now to Auburn. No matter if Auburn won by 100 you retarded bammers would still find something to bitch about. For any Auburn fan that comes here thinking You are going to change these gumps mind on Auburn are just as crazy as they are. Auburn is young but thats still No excuse for the way the Defense played. To be truthfull that was the main thing wrong with Auburn . The Special Teams looked better than any other I seen Saturday. Despite the Vanilla play calling ( first half of game) The offense looked decent. Trotter looked comfortable and made good throws. Auburn will lose several games this year but like I said before , they will also win a couple that they shouldnt. Now for all of You nasty sister banging turds. Go celebrate your MAJOR victory over Kent State while Penn State has revenge waiting on your beloved bama.

    1. This guy is probably going to stay p*ssed off for the rest of the football season.

      Calm down and go hug a Toomer Tree and the NC* trophy. Both are only going to be here for a short time.

  33. Trotter has a sweet moostache. He needs to let them grow out to some sweet handle bars, them it will all make sense.

  34. @capstonereportsucks, you almost had me convinced till you said Trotter looked comfortable. Maybe your next comment will make sense

  35. Just a little helpful advice… When you make an attempt at an obscure reference (“Washington Generals”) don’t follow up the reference by explaining it. It reeks of amateurism. It’s like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes. And believe me, I’m laughing at you.

    1. It was still funny. Hell, anything with Auburn as the punchline is always pretty funny. The cult like mentality, the extreme racism, the pay-for-play, Troopas towel waving and acting like Little Richard, onside kick to beat Utah St., all that stuff makes Auburn one big perpetual joke that never ends (unless you guys get the death penalty).

          1. Ass-Whooping Day is still 11-27. Maybe, just maybe, you can stay lucky for that long, but I really doubt it. 2 games in a row the other team out played and out gained you in yards, yet you squeak by. You think it is great, but 1 play in either game any you could easily be 0-2 right now. Keep the dream alive for another week, but man that loss is going to sting you.

    1. No, no, no. You aren’t doing it right! I’ve been on this forum for ten whole minutes and even I can see that there isn’t enough senseless hatred in that comment. That being said, I believe we were cleared of those charges. Shush now, grown-ups are talking.

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