Bama christens AU’s new arena with win


The University of Alabama men’s basketball team broke-in Auburn’s new $92.5 Million basketball facility with a 68-58 win in its first game against the Tigers in their new barn.

Auburn was the latest Tide opponent not to reach the 60-pt. mark as Bama’s smothering defense continues to be the difference in SEC play.

A capacity crowd of 9,121, fresh off an afternoon worship service in Jordan-Hare Stadium welcomed the SEC co-leading Crimson Tide into its new arena, rabid from a day long orgasm of shoulder rubbing with Abarn dignitaries and heroes.

It’s worthy to note that an ongoing NCAA investigation continues, ultimately determining whether or not that orgasm will end up being just a cold day outdoors in the sun.

The basketball game even had the feel of a football Saturday on the plains. Like their football thugs…er…brothers, Auburn’s basketball squad was fortunate enough to play one of their toughest games of the year within the friendly confines of campus.

And also like football Saturdays in Lee County, toward the end of the game (which was nip and tuck throughout) plenty of empty seats could be seen in the arena.

But in the end, the Tide had the last say on the day, extending a five-point lead into a double-digit victory on the road in the SEC, saying goodbye for another year to that putrid, over-sized interlocking AU at mid-court…the perfect remedy when physician’s orders call for one to induce vomiting.

With the win the Crimson Tide advanced to 4-1 in the SEC, its best start in league play since the 2005-2006 season. Alabama holds a game and a half lead over Mississippi State in the SEC West, and shares the overall first-place spot with the Florida Gators in the league.

Auburn is now 0-5 in conference play and dead last in the SEC sporting a 7-12 record for their hotly anticipated new head man, Tony Barbee. Jeff Lebo could not be reached for comment, but it appears the new hire is really paying off.

Also of note, Bama now holds an 86-57 lead in the series, though some Auburn fans were heard muttering while leaving the arena that none of that record mumbo-jumbo mattered before 1982. Alabama holds a 1-0 advantage in Auburn Arena.

The Tide will have a week off before hosting LSU next Saturday, January 29th.

(Follow me on Twitter for capstonereport.com news, commentary and smack: ITK4BAMA)

16 Comments

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  1. 4
    PEARL HARBOR TODAY NUKE NEXT

    NOT BITTER – IT IS A MORAL OUTRAGE FOR CHEATERS TO SUCCEED EVEN IF IT IS MORAL OUTRAGE….82% OF NATION AU TITLE – TAINTED
    AND WILL BE VACATED

  2. 5
    PEARL HARBOR TODAY NUKE NEXT

    the nation loves and hates bama because we are the greatest football program in history…the nation hates au and the fanbase because u r the skankiest cheats in the country

  3. 6
    Crimsonite

    No you are not National Champs. You are imposters. You cheated. Even if they don’t uncover enough evidence to punish you, everyone still knows you cheated. Forever this Championshit* will be tainted with the spore of your skank. You will always be imposters. That is enough to keep Bama fans content. We have no jealousy, we are not bitter, we are not staying awake at night suffering because we lost and you won. On the contrary. We are quite happy and waiting like children for presents on Christmas morning for the Hammer to fall and just add more icing to the cake. And we are reveling in making your lives miserable with what you like to call our misery and our obsseion with Awbie. IMPOSTER, IMPOSTER!CHEATERS! CHEATERS! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!DOOM! Bwaa Haww Haww! RTR!

  4. 9
    AubFan334

    wishiknew you have really become LAZY! You left our some key parts of your story. Why did you not mention the high profile recruits that were on hand? Why did you not mention How ugly the entire game was? One of the ugliest games EVER! One team lacks Talent while the other lacks coaching. Ill let you figure out which is which. (I was there for the entire game if you need any real info Ill help you out). Plus you left out the biggest news of the night. What about a ceratin trophy being brought back home last night during half time? What about a certain Head Coach standing at mid court giving a big “War Damn Eagle”? Like I said keep your day job. I think the 16 bama fans here would agree.

  5. 10
    AubieMan39

    I tell yalls right now that when i aint beatn my wife i always got time to reed stories hear on the interweb, and this one is just disgraceful to the family. you will take this articul down or suffer the consequences ITK. I shant tolerate this gibberish against the family. WAR EAGLE AND FAMILY ALL IN BABEE

  6. 11
    ITK

    334, that was so completely racist what you just said I am too shocked to respond. What a single celled organism you are.

  7. 12
    DAMAGE INC.

    Yeah – that Awbuhn crowd was REALLY alive during that game – I suppose reality set in after the false “celebration” of the soon-to-be vacated NC title – that and the alcohol was wearing off too. $ucks to win it that way doe$n’t it? Oh wait, the rest of the world doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Everything was legit and Cecil got his new chuuuuch.

  8. 13
    DAMAGE INC.

    Yeah ITK – a helluva way to “support” the team by filing out even with plenty of time left – something tells me the janitorial service at the new arena in Lee Co. will be an easy paycheck. Ju$t keep it down home cuz. Wonder if Pat Died a.k.a. The Iron Liver a.k.a. Mr. Doze wudn’t my Pants was in attendance for the “victory” – I just couldn’t leave him out of this – lmao!

  9. 14
    Crimsonite

    Dumbarse. Bama has the #1 defense in the nation. Defensive basketball games are always ugly. But a 6 year old on his daddy’s computer without permission wouldn’t know that. RTR!

  10. 15
    Mike Reaves

    Is it true they’re renaming Bryant Denny Stadium, to Bryant Denny Tuberville Chizik Stadium because we’ve won there so much in the last7 or 8 years?

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