Barely a year after stepping on campus, the object of worship for the Awbuhn Fambly has left the building.
Cameron Jerrell Newton has declared he will enter the NFL draft.
The man at the center of the pay-for-play investigation is leaving the pasture for greener pastures, where the green doesn’t come in hundreds of thousands but in millions.
And now, like a cheap whore in a hotel room, Auburn is left to clean itself up and wait for the infection that he left behind.
When I imply that Auburn fans worshiped this young man, I mean it. Not since Jim Jones have I witnessed throngs of people…old, young, male, female, black, white, hispanic, affluent, poor, ugly, attractive, stupid, smart, educated, uneducated…laying themselves down at the feet of an individual like I saw this season.
Auburn doesn’t need anything else to establish itself as a cult; we’ve covered that on this site for a while now. But the gleam in the eyes of the Manson…I mean, Awbuhn…family when they talked about him was downright scary.
The Facebook posts thanking him for what he has done for this insignificant cow college…
The unified changing of the Auburn battle cry to include his name…
The embraces and loving strokes offered by his adoring subjects as he cast himself into their arms following games…
The poop-face grin he offered his worshipers before and after games…
The unbridled arrogance as he climbed atop walls to stand before his congregation, arms spread wide, receiving their praise…
The energy he gave his followers as they worshiped him at work, school, and even…*gulp*…church…
He was their god. And it was freaky, to say the least.
Cam Newton was the most electrifying player to play the game since Reggie Bush. Brilliant. Dominant. A complete headache to defend. Unfortunately for Auburn, however, the two will share a common fate. If one fourth of what you’ve heard involving Cam Newton’s recruitment and pay-for-play turns out to be true, Auburn will burn like a lightening-struck toilet paper factory.
Contrary to any barner’s belief, the NCAA’s investigation into his recruitment is alive and well. The reprieve they received before the SEC Championship Game was merely to determine his eligibility to compete in the immediate future. But as other institutions have learned the hard way, once new evidence is made available, the NCAA does not wince at lowering the boom.
That evidence could come as a result of suspected ongoing FBI probes in several areas that could touch the Auburn program. Filthy boosters involved in everything from fake 501(c)(3) organizations funneling money to athletes, to crooked gambling bosses showing their favorite athletes “where to sit” when they want to play the slots.
It could be bank cards issued where you can’t spell free funds without “fun”, or maybe miraculous trucking company success stories, where rags to riches happen overnight for some strange reason.
Or who knows. Maybe none of the thick, horrendous, choking, billowing smoke is a result of fire. Lots of people seek $180,000 from one school yet simply decide not to do so at another.
But Auburn could soon find itself in a leaky dingy floating without a paddle in shark infested waters, bleeding badly. And their god will be out of arm’s reach to save them.
Questions linger about how Cam was able to find his father so easily in the crowd immediately following the Oregon game, even though the NCAA had warned that Cecil Newton should keep his distance from the program altogether. Even Brent Musberger and Kurt Herbstreit said in the broadcast that the elder Newton would not be attending the game, as did Auburn Athletic Director Jay Jacobs.
Yet as the cameras captured so beautifully, there was daddy and son, hugging and celebrating in the stands. Perception is often a killer, and right now the perception is that orange and blue noses are being thumbed the NCAA’s way at a staggering rate, and the NCAA will only take this sort of thing so long. Now that the SEC and ESPN has its BCS money, there is no one to stand between Auburn and the National Collegiate Athletic Association.
Ask Reggie Bush tonight how he feels now that USC is burning from the prolonged rash he gave them. I’m sure it bothers him to death as he basks in the NFL wealth that has him set for life. And while you’re at it, feel free to pose the same question to Mr. Newton in a year or two.
But he gave them their trophy, right? Auburn’s one man show brought home the hardware. Problem is, you may want to take a picture of it as fast as possible. There are no guarantees any of it will reside in Lee County permanently.
So we say goodbye to Cam. We hardly knew ya. Don’t worry Auburn fans; maybe Elton John will do another remake of “Goodbye Norma Jean” for you to remember him by.
Because I guarantee, being the cheap, sleazy means-to-an-end that you were, he has already long forgotten you.
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