Auburn, your god hath foresaken thee

Barely a year after stepping on campus, the object of worship for the Awbuhn Fambly has left the building.

Cameron Jerrell Newton has declared he will enter the NFL draft.

The man at the center of the pay-for-play investigation is leaving the pasture for greener pastures, where the green doesn’t come in hundreds of thousands but in millions.

And now, like a cheap whore in a hotel room, Auburn is left to clean itself up and wait for the infection that he left behind.

When I imply that Auburn fans worshiped this young man, I mean it. Not since Jim Jones have I witnessed throngs of people…old, young, male, female, black, white, hispanic, affluent, poor, ugly, attractive, stupid, smart, educated, uneducated…laying themselves down at the feet of an individual like I saw this season.

Auburn doesn’t need anything else to establish itself as a cult; we’ve covered that on this site for a while now. But the gleam in the eyes of the Manson…I mean, Awbuhn…family when they talked about him was downright scary.

The Facebook posts thanking him for what he has done for this insignificant cow college…

The unified changing of the Auburn battle cry to include his name…

The embraces and loving strokes offered by his adoring subjects as he cast himself into their arms following games…

The poop-face grin he offered his worshipers before and after games…

The unbridled arrogance as he climbed atop walls to stand before his congregation, arms spread wide, receiving their praise…

The energy he gave his followers as they worshiped him at work, school, and even…*gulp*…church…

He was their god. And it was freaky, to say the least.

Cam Newton was the most electrifying player to play the game since Reggie Bush. Brilliant. Dominant. A complete headache to defend. Unfortunately for Auburn, however, the two will share a common fate. If one fourth of what you’ve heard involving Cam Newton’s recruitment and pay-for-play turns out to be true, Auburn will burn like a lightening-struck toilet paper factory.

Contrary to any barner’s belief, the NCAA’s investigation into his recruitment is alive and well. The reprieve they received before the SEC Championship Game was merely to determine his eligibility to compete in the immediate future. But as other institutions have learned the hard way, once new evidence is made available, the NCAA does not wince at lowering the boom.

That evidence could come as a result of suspected ongoing FBI probes in several areas that could touch the Auburn program. Filthy boosters involved in everything from fake 501(c)(3) organizations funneling money to athletes, to crooked gambling bosses showing their favorite athletes “where to sit” when they want to play the slots.

It could be bank cards issued where you can’t spell free funds without “fun”, or maybe miraculous trucking company success stories, where rags to riches happen overnight for some strange reason.

Or who knows. Maybe none of the thick, horrendous, choking, billowing smoke is a result of fire. Lots of people seek $180,000 from one school yet simply decide not to do so at another.

But Auburn could soon find itself in a leaky dingy floating without a paddle in shark infested waters, bleeding badly. And their god will be out of arm’s reach to save them.

Questions linger about how Cam was able to find his father so easily in the crowd immediately following the Oregon game, even though the NCAA had warned that Cecil Newton should keep his distance from the program altogether. Even Brent Musberger and Kurt Herbstreit said in the broadcast that the elder Newton would not be attending the game, as did Auburn Athletic Director Jay Jacobs.

Yet as the cameras captured so beautifully, there was daddy and son, hugging and celebrating in the stands. Perception is often a killer, and right now the perception is that orange and blue noses are being thumbed the NCAA’s way at a staggering rate, and the NCAA will only take this sort of thing so long. Now that the SEC and ESPN has its BCS money, there is no one to stand between Auburn and the National Collegiate Athletic Association.

Ask Reggie Bush tonight how he feels now that USC is burning from the prolonged rash he gave them. I’m sure it bothers him to death as he basks in the NFL wealth that has him set for life. And while you’re at it, feel free to pose the same question to Mr. Newton in a year or two.

But he gave them their trophy, right? Auburn’s one man show brought home the hardware. Problem is, you may want to take a picture of it as fast as possible. There are no guarantees any of it will reside in Lee County permanently.

So we say goodbye to Cam. We hardly knew ya. Don’t worry Auburn fans; maybe Elton John will do another remake of “Goodbye Norma Jean” for you to remember him by.

Because I guarantee, being the cheap, sleazy means-to-an-end that you were, he has already long forgotten you.

(Follow me on Twitter for news, commentary and smack: ITK4BAMA)


Add Yours
  1. 1

    Good piece to read and hope to God the NCAA nails the bastards
    to the wall. The 2010 season with Camgate and the Ohio St
    bullshit makes me just shake my head and ask WTF is going on!!

  2. 2

    Well said…..

    Paul Finebaum even admitted today on his show that Cam was a “different” person when he arrived in Glendale. Somewhat “arrogant and pompous”

    Ummm……where have you been all season Finebaum?

    bye bye Cam (I guess AU couldn’t match the money)

  3. 3

    Here’s to the FBI, IRS, NCAA, and any other agency/organization that is looking into the corruption at Auburn and eventually burn that shack of a school to the ground.

    Oh yeah, Roll Tide.

  4. 4

    Bye, Bye, CAM !
    Bye, Bye, Victories!
    Hello, NCAA Letter of Inquiry!
    I think the Aubies are gonna cry !
    Bye, Bye, CAM ! Goodbye!

  5. 6

    No He won’t, and there is only one God. That’s why I used a little “g”, because AU sure thought there was at least two.

  6. 9

    Bravo ITK! Great work! Love Auburn do ya? Bwaa Haww Haww! You know, as happy as I am that the SEC continues its dominance and make the rest of college football suffer in helpless impotence; also I feel compassion for Oregon who lost their one chance at glory to a team of illegal frauds. And it wasn’t just the Scam thing. The outstanding play of Fartley led directly to the Ducks demise, and Fartley was not even supposed to play in the game along with 6 other Barnturds who were achedemically ineligible, but whose records Cheezebutt delayed releasing. The depths of corruption at that institution pales in comparison to the government of Mexico. It is a pestilence, an infection that spreads faster than syphylis. It even infects coaches who previous to Auburn were honest. It wouldn’t bother me one bit to see the phuckers lose their accreditation. Please! RTR!

  7. 10

    He knew all along he was going to the NFL. Thats why he didn’t care if his dad was there or not. It’s Auburns problem to deal with now, cuz he is out of there. I had several Auburn fans that I know that were absolutely certain than Cam was coming back, and Farley too.

  8. 11

    It’s funny how AU blames the negativity in cyberspace on Tide fans. What I am seeing the last couple days is the rest of the country outraged.

  9. 13

    I don’t think Bama fans really want Auburn to go down the way you are describing. It is better that they be strong when we beat them because we don’t want the rest of the fan world to say we didn’t beat anybody like they did in 92!!!!!

  10. 15

    Why is no one expressing outrage at the fact that Oregon played the Cheating Tigers of Auburn to a virtual standstill, and are robbed of the title? sCam has been guilty since day one. The information about his father soliciting money from MSU was enough, per pre-existing ncaa and sec rules to rule him out. Not to mention his repeated academic fraud at UF. So instead of getting a championship game between two teams that would keep the title, we got a game between a clean team and a dirty team. Everyone should have been rooting for the ducks simply because it would mean the title would still be filled by kickoff next year.

  11. 16

    I think it is pathetic, trashy, outratgeous that Auburn was allowed to go right on playing football just as if their cleats were gold and while their opponents entered the gridiron with hope and fight not only did they lose to the Cheaters but once the hammer comes down and strips Auburn of all wins….all of their opponents will once again be screwed, cheated out of that very moment of glory of victory, all of the photos, interviews and trips to NY to gloat. I’m telling you this, the NCAA has handled this badly. Their influence upon Auburn to back that SOB out of the game simply wasn’t hard enough. What a damn embarrassment to the State of alabama and the SEC not to mention the BCS. I really had high hopes the BSC would step in and manipulate the charts to stop them from playing the top spot and save us all a slam down the road. Let me add as well that while you focus upon the Casino Cards, ATM and Church you might want to also pay close attention to the Refs….I’m hearing their lil selves aren’t lilly white as well.

  12. 18

    Don’t feel sorry for us, Bama is in great shape for the future. If you choose to turn a blind eye to the corruption at Auburn, that is your prerogative. But we have the right to look at it and call it what it is. Too bad you troll Bama sites and get all sensitive to that. But when the hammer falls and Auburn has to pay the price, will you still be defending them?

  13. 23

    Step away from the keyboard and get some clean air. 99% of what you wrote in that article is made up. You have been reading too much of your groups own posts. Everything you posted hinges on the ‘other investigation’ the FBI is doing but you have ZERO to show what that is. You nor anyone else has an ‘inside source’ from the FBI giving you information.

    AU is a one man team huh. Well that one man team beat your 22 man team and he spotted you 24 in your own stadium. Get over dude, it is just a game. Your team will win sometimes. Even the coach you ‘worship’ says you can’t win them all. BTW-aren’t you the ones building an idol, I mean statue, so you can worship at his feet.

  14. 24

    WTC, you better pray that what I “made up” was made up. Here’s a hint though…when what’s coming your way makes SMU look like a slap on the wrist, then we’ll BOTH know the truth.

  15. 26

    WTC must have information to know that 99% of what ITK is made up.

    I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m content to just sit and watch what happens. There was less smoke coming out of the Albert Means situation before it happened.

    But hey, I’ll give the Aubies the benefit of the doubt. From here on out, every rumor, fact, and speculation that has come out so far and any that may come out of the future is all made up. Not one thing that has been reported so far is true. The NC will not be taken away, the SEC Championship will not be taken away, and nothing will come out of all of this. There will be no probation. 2 years of wire taps on Milton McGregor and all is Auburn brethen will not have anything incriminating on it. Any investigation on Lowders business interests will not come up with anything. Everyone is just jealous of Auburn and their rich tradition of their SEC championships, 2 NC*, Bo Jackson, and throwing toilet paper in a tree. All of this stuff will just blow over. Auburn is a big Christian family and Christian families would never do anything that has been alleged against them. Its the other schools that are shady and dirty, not Auburn. Auburn will be a great team next year even without Newton and Fairley. Auburns top 5 or 6 recruiting class they had last year will be better than Alabama’s 4 consecutive top 5 recruiting classes, just because those athletes are special because they are a part of the Auburn family. Chizik will not be another Larry Coker.

    Those are all the arguments I can think of, that I’m trying to give Auburn the benefit of the doubt.

    Can any other Bama fan think of some that I may have missed? We need to be cordial to our Auburn guests, so let’s just agree with them so they can sleep good tonight.

  16. 27

    Building a statue is in honor of his accomplishments arsehole, not worship! We don’t yell “Roll Sabear Roll!” We don’t have sluts swooning “Oh Saby Baby.” and other stupid shite like that. We don’t make posters of Christ and put Sabans’ head it. And if Saban pulled the kind of shite Scam and his Dad did that was going to get the University assfried by the NCAA, we would fire his arse. There’s a universe of difference in our relationship with Saban and yours with Scam. And as for a one man team, no you didn’t have a one man team. You had a team of over achievers with a chip on their shoulders and an excellent QB who just happened to fit your offensive scheme perfectly. But even as great as Scam was he couldn’t beat the two best teams you played, Alabama and Oregon. It took outstanding games from Fartly, Dyer and a few others to win those two games. But there’s two problems with that. 1. Those 3 players would not have been at Auburn to win those games for you if you hadn’t compensated them ilegally – therefore the wins don’t count nor does the national championship. 2. You will not back up your championship season because you lose more starters than maybe anyone in the history of college football. Name a player who made plays to help you win one of your games this year and he won’t be there next year. You lose everybody but Dyer, and don’t expect much out him next year without Scam there occupy the minds of the entire defense and without maybe the best “O” line in the SEC to open holes. And first and foremost you won’t have a QB who’s ever taken a snap. Your arses are gonna pay bigtime next year for your transgressions this year. I’m thinking 6-6 if your lucky. Screw your recruiting class. What did your great class last year produce? Scam and Dyer. Neither one would have worked without the other and they both benefited from a senior laden team with two great lines. Because of so many near losses nearly none of the rest of that class got any valuable playing time. And now you’ve lost the entire team which returned last year to allow Scam and Dyer to perform so well. So next year you will have a team consisting of two classes with no experience. Don’t expect much, fools. RTR!

  17. 28

    Auburn could build a statue to celebrate their 2 NC’s*. We do it by coaches so we could consolidate. If we built one for each NC, the ground would cave in.

    Wait, build a statue of a tree with toilet paper in it. Each strand of toilet paper would represent a NC*. It may look funny for the time being having only 2 strands of toilet paper, but the having toilet paper representing you NC’s* would be fitting.

    Maybe ITK can come up with artist conception of it?

  18. 31

    “Worshipped?” You mean like the way bammers all put those “S” stickers on their cars and talk about Lil Nicky in god-like terms??

    Some much hate, so little time, right ITK??

    Anyone who didn’t know that Cam was going pro after this season had their head in the sand. College football players are smart to go pro at the peak of their careers, and how much more of a peak could Cam have than declaring for the draft after winning BOTH the Heisman and the National Championship?? He’s ready, and I wish him well. As do virtually all Auburn fans.

    We’re looking forward to another Top 5 recruiting class, and continuing to whip UAT’s ass next year. WAR EAGLE!!

  19. 32

    And another thing, ITK: When are you going to give up that little fantasy of yours about Auburn and Cam being investigated by the FBI?? It hasn’t happened, dude. I know you WANT it to SO badly, but your fantasy is just that — a fantasy. Just because you read some other bammer’s fantasy on a bammer message board doesn’t make it factual, little guy.

    Y’all have been watching too many “X Files” reruns, lol.

  20. 34

    BeSerious, you should take your screen name to heart and follow it as advice. Your recruiting class is nowhere near top 5 right now. When that light gets shone on it, it’s hard to pull the tricks you’ve managed the last few years.

    You’ll stumble into the iron bowl 6-5, leaving batting .500 on the season while NCAA speculation dominates the news in and around the game.

  21. 35

    And another thing Jamie, we didn’t land on the moon either, did we? Just sit and wait, my friend. I don’t create the news, I just report it. Wire taps are a biotch, my little pal.

  22. 36

    The money was just too good right? You barner’s are so delusional you’re making Tennessee fans look intelligent. Enjoy the NC for the time being – the appeals are the only thing slowing the “process” down. A filthy disgrace to the game of CFB – the barner thugs stomping on the helmets of the ducks. Only fa(tass

  23. 38

    Just enjoy it while you go it. Slive has lost all respect from me – I know he swept this under the rug to keep the NC in the conference – the “streak” – he will retire in th near future and do what most wrong-doers do – let someone else clean up the mess. It amazes me how sCam was busted at Miss. St. and was “cleared” to play at another school. Any barber who thinks that he “didn’t know” has their head so far up their ass – they can’t even smell it. This is a fact: Aubarn sold its’ $oul to the devil and they KNOW IT! ITK is completely right – there is two gods right now on the plains – but in the future, one person will have that status revoked – and we’re just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.

  24. 40

    ITK …I’ll throw down a couple of k to bet you that Auburn doesn’t get any penalties because of Cam.

    I realize that you gotta keep spewing this mess just to keep your minions posting, but you are so clueless.

    Digest this:

    1. MSU reported to the SEC and the SEC notified Auburn BEFORE Cam signed at Auburn. Would Auburn really go forward if there were “issues”?

    2. Neither Malzahn or Grimes left to go coach elsewhere and both had attractive alternatives.

    I realize that you probably don’t get out of your self-affirmed Bammer world very often and doing so will probably cause a head-ache, but just try a little common sense.

  25. 41
    Pistol Pete



  26. 42

    If the statues of Paul Bryant and O Saban Ben Lyin’ outside Bryant Denny aren’t false idols, I don’t know what is. The only difference is that our “false idol” proclaims the love of christ on the biggest stage availiable. Keep whining. At least we don’t blow a 24 point lead to out biggest rival. Nice choke, Bammers. 7/10 ain’t bad. (For those of you Bammers without a proper education, so most of you, that’s 70%.)

  27. 43

    I guess you guys just blindly suck up all the anti-auburn dis-information put out into the websites by the REC.

    The REC knows they have to keep anti-AU stuff coming out in order to keep neurotic portion of the Bama fanbase occupied with something to hate. This is especially important when the team significantly underperforms. MSU really did the REC a favor when they went to the NCAA instead of continuing investigations with the SEC. Gotta hand it to the REC, they have really gotten creative. McGregor? …really? ..oh, and you folks eat that up?

  28. 44

    Hey Pete …I’ll bet you also. Get off the porch big dog!! It’s real easy to sit behind a keyboard and spew lies and stuff you have no idea about.

    It’s your turn to respond now

  29. 45

    So ..Pete, now you are calling Grimes a lier? Grimes stated that the Texas job was enticing, but he decided to stay at Auburn.

  30. 47
    Pistol Pete

    false preacher – lying about scam bamging white whores who do his onlinework and a knocked up blackgf in atl per au student but au students do lie…Jesus is ashamed of cam trash

  31. 49

    I don’t care about Auburn at all. It is these Auburn fans here that think that 1 great season with a National Championship all the sudden puts them ahead of Bama, and Bama is done now that Auburn has achieved this status. It all resets at the end of the year, and going forward, Bama is in great shape to make another run. Auburn, not so much. Next year WILL be a rebuilding year for Auburn. Next year WILL NOT produce the same offensive numbers. But of course, while Auburn fans are high fiving and patting each other on the back, they are oblivious to the things going on at Bama. When the hammer falls on Auburn, lets talk about it then. But right now, lets talk about what Saban is doing for Bama, and get ready for the A-Day game. The future is bright for Bama, and if the articles here were only about that, the Auburn fans would still be here running their mouths.

  32. 50

    Bama Brando you are right. AU will be rebuilding next year and you guys should stick to only talking about your team.

    That was part of my reasoning for challenging ITK to a bet. He should either put up or shut up. I’m still waiting.

    You may not have realized it, but seems you are giving him good advice. Now if you can only convince all the other Bonehead Bammers to do the same, then maybe rational thought and sanity can prevail on “this here blawg”.

    Ya’ll stop spewing irrationality and I’ll quietly go away. The problem with that is the REC needs to keep the ignorant part of the Bama fanbase angry and blaming others for their downfall. It’s how you control those folks with low self-esteem. Didya notice that as AU did better and Bama lost a few games, that the “rumors”on the Bama boards grew. That is by design. It is called disinformation to control the masses. Hitler was very good at such.

  33. 51

    Hoopie, you don’t have a couple of K, and even if you did, I wouldn’t take the money your family needs in a million years.

    Seems you’re rather brazen to the perils of gambling…Milty must’ve “made you a winner too.”

    But rest assured of this; when it all comes down, seeing Auburn exposed and reduced to the junior college that it is will be worth far more than “a couple’uh K”.

    The joy of what is coming your way as a result of your serial cheating will give me riches that will last me a lifetime.

  34. 52

    ITK ..I live in Georgia, but I’m sure we can meet in B’ham arrange some sort of escrow agent to hold the money for the bet. My offer still stands and quit dodging the issue.

    Since you’ve flinched on the bet one already, I’m wondering whether you don’t believe what you are spewing OR did you happen to talk to a few REC members that advised you not to bet?

    Which is it?

    So now you are saying that Auburn serial cheats? We finished our last NCAA sanctions in 1993(17 years and 4 coaches ago). Bama has been sanctioned 3 or 4 times since 1993 and even almost got the death penalty. In fact Bama is on probation right now from actions that happened under the nose of your present coach!!!

    Know why so many Bammers have a low self-esteem? You folks are either so stupid that you believe the propaganda put out by the REC or you are so afraid to lose football position that you blindly recite the ridiculous REC propaganda.

    Either way, it’s gotta be tearing up that fragile ego.

    So keep up that macho image by yelling loudly and using tired old words like “tradishun”, “cow college”, etc. that make you feel better about yourself.

  35. 54

    ITK- You are a coward. Take the bet. If Hoopie doesn’t have it, I am sure I do.

    BTW-there is NO investigation into Ccam and the FBI. An earlier poster said I must know more than ITK, he is right. You can repeat this stuff all day long to keep your underlings fired up, but repeating it doesn’t make it true.

  36. 55

    You have a short memory Hooptie. Barntard U. was on SACS academic probation in 2004 or 5 and in danger of losing accredidation and being kicked out of the SEC. Guess what? NOTHING has changed with the academic fraud and micro-management still in place today.Your semi-pro football team is the least of your worries.

  37. 56

    Hoopty is just ANOTHER Auburn fan thinking money is everything. It is the culture at the Barn. I will bet they are looking for another hot shot one season prospect to buy right now. It is the only way they know how to keep up with Bama, and has been for the last 60 years. What school has been the biggest repeat offender for buying players? You know who it is.

  38. 57
    Mike Reaves

    BamaBrando, Pistol, ITK,and the rest of you Sons Of Satan, I hope ya’ll are man or woman enough to apologize when no charges are brought against Auburn. You people need to get a life ya’ll are obcessed with Auburn. I think ya’ll are all Aubie want -to-be’s.

  39. 58

    Turn a blind eye to the truth if you want. But I won’t be apologizing for nothing. You should apologize to your mother for being so stupid, and trolling on a Bama site.

  40. 59

    This is coming from fans that will build a statue to worship after they win a football. If god has forsaken either one of these programs, I believe its the elephants. Elephant fans kiss the Bears feet and take pictures of themselves blowing Saban’s statue. You know Saban. Thats the man that every Elephant fan considers to be God himself. Maybe you should read the Second Commandment. ” Thou shalt not worship any false idols. Or build a likeness of any other” What a bunch of idiots yall are. I guess its that Tuscalooser hair style yall have that is getting in the way of any common sense. Get your fluff of hair out your eyes and quit trying to be like John Parker Wilson. And how can you say anything about Auburn fans worshipping Cam? You Alabama fans would gladly give the Bear a handjob while kissing his feet if that alcoholic wife beater was still breathing. Thank the Lord he isnt

  41. 60

    hey bob, so you are saying God is on Auburns side? Man, Auburn is taking this religion and football thing too far. You guys sound like a friggin cult. It’s football, and using ‘reverends’ and churches to funnel money and buy players is pretty bad. Dressing up Aubie in preacher robes and Auburn fans comparing Cams persecution with that of Christ is pretty whacked out man. But glad to see that a dead coach 30 years ago still puts the fear and hate into you. Man, that Bear Bryant guy really affected you Auburn homers didn’t he? But Bama has a guy coaching named Saban, and no Bama fan I know has compared him to any religious figure. The man is just a great football coach and great recruiter. We are glad to have him. So stop preachin to us in one breath and talking nasty in the next. It makes you look like a fool. Get back to your Barnertology cult and preach it to your own.

  42. 61

    I find it interesting that people will believe that the Minister Newton wanted 180K for his son to play at Mississippi St, but suddenly got religion and gave his son to Auburn for nothing…. Kinda like me offering you my house for 180K, but then deciding to give it to the next guy….. Something smells in this, no matter who you root for.

  43. 62

    Whoa, Andy. *You’re problem is, is that you are too logical. Wouldn’t you rather believe that Cecil only wanted money for Cam to go to Miss St cow college, then had a change of heart and decided he should go to Auburn cow college for free, because God likes Auburn better than other schools.
    And if you believe that, then is it not now the truth? So if that is the truth, then any facts to the contrary are now lies? Doesn’t that make more sense? So now can’t you see why Auburn is innocent? All the facts are lies. Auburn is Family, Auburn is the chosen school of God, Auburn is TRUTH….

    *excerpt from the book “If I can run a football program, then so can you!” by Pat Dye, Milton McGregor, and Gene Chizik…Published by Tigers Unlimited

  44. 63


  45. 65


  46. 66

    I love how all the Bama fans still come on here to hate on Newton. They pray that this isnt over for Auburn. The fact is that Cam has moved on. Its over. We are National Champs. You talk about the possibility of us getting on probation or penalized…yet you are the ones on probation until the middle of 2012. Reality check here. From National champs to losing three games last year. Impressive. Roll tide….what a joke.

  47. 67

    It aint even close to being over dumba$$! And losing 3 games, having the most impressive game of the year in the entire nation in the Cap 1 Bowl, and being only 4 points away from playing for the NC again is nothing to be ashamed of you inbred bastard! To be ashamed is to go 8-5, 3-5 in SEC and lose the Iron Bowl 36-0 in ’08 like you $hitheads did after being preseason selections to contend for the NC, and even worse to be you this year when you’re going to go 5-7 after stealing a NC* last year. Bwaa Haww Haww!! And this is pretty phucking retarded to come on here and respond to a thread that has been dead for a month now! Phucking barnturd retard! RTR!

Comments are closed.