8 thoughts on “Scandal clouds Cam Newton’s Heisman chances”

  1. I can see that ghost of Reggie Bush as “Marley”. Telling Scrooge, er Scam Newton to “Beware!”.

  2. Mark Richt said it best: “This thing with Auburn in particular, there is nothing that has been proven that has been done that has been inappropriate in any way. But it’s just amazing the amount of noise there is around it, That’s the thing about it: Whether someone does something or not, there is just a lot of attention put on things that are accusations that may or may not be true. I think anybody is innocent, unless there is some proof they are guilty. That’s America. That’s how we’re trying to operate. It’s how you should operate.”

  4. I’ve been wondering…Does Brother Chette have anything to do with this? Who better to show Cecil Newton how to funnel money from boosters to/through a church? Just throwing it out there….

  5. Hey Romanov – we don’t give a shit what Mark Richt has to say. He has no control over his own team therefore any statement he makes about this situation is useless. He wanted to use Cam as a “tight end” if he recruited him to Georgia. That should tell it all.

  6. Cam comes out smelling like a rose.
    Auburn hangs like a horse thief in 1970’s Texas.
    POOOOOOOOOOR Eagle!!!!!

  7. Hello and greetings fellow football fans.
    I had taken a hiatus for the last several months. But with the rumor mill in full swing I had to go out and get the scoop that everyone else missed.
    Given the events of the last 10 days, I went straight to “the Man” at Auburn University (Former) Coach Pat Dye. As always I found Coach Dye to provide some unique perspective to the latest goings-on and I thought I would share them with you all.
    Remember this is an exclusive and you got it here first.

    SIG: Hello Coach, its been a while what have you been up to?

    PD. Shut up you G*DD*** pinko commie left wing liberal tree hugger girlee type fag!!!!

    SIG: Are you talking to me?

    PD. Nah, I got that little panty waste Jacobs on my blue tooth and he is screaming like a little girl about the NCAA and that Quarterback Stan Newsome or some such s***! Screaming some crap about “We are ruined!!!” and some other dumba** remarks. He is such a paltroon. Somebody needs to hit him in the nuts with a good swift kick….

    SIG:Coach thats Cam Newton….. and….

    PD: Who gives a rats hemmerhoid!!!! I am Pat Dye! I can say anthing I want to say and if you dont like it I might just have to b*tch slap you. Just jump in line behind this whiney little prick jacobs and I will go Moe Howard on both yall’s a**es!

    SIG: Uh… yeah… whatever you say Coach. So what are thinking about this scandal Coach?

    PD: well 2 things. One is, it aint a scandal if you act like you dont know anything about it and go on record telling everyone how wonderful you are and what a liar they are. And 2…. hmm let me think… I sorta forgot that one there…. Oh …. yeah…bAMMER YOU BETTER NOT BE MESSING WITH MY AUBURN FAMILY!!! THAT MEANS YOU NICK SABAN. I got your name!!! I got your phone number. I am Pat Dye!!!!! and I will walk all the way down to Tuscaloosa and kick some a**!

    SIG: Coach…. Coach…. over here Coach….I dont think Alabama had anything to do with this. Its something to do with Miss. State and Florida.

    PD Nah….Its Bammur all the way. You dont get as far in this life as I have unless you can see and recognise s*** like that. When in doubt blame Bammer I always say.

    SIG: Coach how do you feel about the local news outlets and writers like Paul Finebaum and Keven Scarbinsky showing strong unified support for Cam Newton during this troubling time?

    PD: I’am sorry….. did you just say Wayne Newton? Well hell…. we all love Wayne Newton. Whats not to love?
    As for Scarbinsky and Finebaum. Hell a ruskie Commie pinko and a Jewish commie pinko. Who the hell cares what they have to say? If I want to hear anything out of them I will just have a magic envelope appear on thier desk… if you know what I am saying…(At this point Coach Dye winks at me)

    SIG: So are you saying that the press is on the Auburn payroll?

    PD: Hell everyone is on the payroll, Even the guys who hold the towels for the players at the game. We even pay that mentally retarded guy who thinks he is coaching the team and that f**ked-up little nerd who calls all of those pansy plays that do everything but run the ball at the other team. We have paid money to everybody we know and a bunch of people we aint never met. Even sent some money to that Bearcat Oblama fellar up their in Washingron. We have gotta stay even with those sorry a** cheaters in Tuscaloosa! But that is off the record. …. So dont tell no one.
    The official statement released for all of us other folks involved is. “We can neither confirm or deny it, We are taking a defensive posture.”

    SIG: That sounds like what Ceicl Newton said.

    PD: Who the hell is Cecil Newton? Never heard of him. I go to Brother Chette’s Church of the Salvation Dollar. never heard of no preacher named Cecil Newton.

    SIG: Coach I didnt say anything about Cecil Newton or Churches…. can you explain why you did?

    PD: I did not meet Cecil Newton at Churches. I met him at a Popeyes. And I didnt pay him $200,000 hell no!!! I gave him $190.000 and spent the rest on booze and hookers with Ted Roof! Get your story straight Dweeb!!!

    SIG: Well… coach… you havent changed much….

    PD: I am Pat Dye!!!! Whats to change!!!

    SIG: Coach what do you think about Cam Newton’s statement that “the money was too much”?

    PD: Boy DIDNT YOU JUST HEAR ME!?! I done told you I kept 10 grand to spend on Early Times whiskey and some stripper named Minnie Cox. . Are you retarded? Or just plain deaf?

    SIG: Coach, In all of the interviews I have ever had with you, I think this one is the most revealing….

    PD: why thank you… I like to think of myself as a man’s man and a people’s person. And I recite my Auburn creed every morning… you know…Thats what makes me superior………. Shut up jay I am trying to do an important Pat Dye interview right now. NO I MEAN IT!! SHUT UP YOU SISSY LITTLE BUTTBOY!!! DONT MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!!! OKAY… I am coming down there …. assume the position… yeah thats right pull the pants down to your ankles and bend over that desk and tell that other boy Chisnik to go get me a hickory stick…..

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