What I like about Auburn

I’m still in that positive mood. It is inspired by dinner at Brio with a beautiful woman, and followed by a walk in the moonlight, well the light of the street lamps. It makes anyone upbeat. I’m so upbeat I’m going to tell you what I like about the Auburn Tigers.

There are many things to like about the fine family of Auburn University. Auburn fans claim all of the school’s fans are alums and they don’t have sidewalk alums. So, what I like about Auburn is that Finebaum callers like Tammy must be alums. Is there a better representation of the Auburn student body than this fan? Is there a better representation of the Auburn family? Auburn is a close group of friends unlike other schools with all those outsiders—sidewalk alums. Auburn might not sell out its stadium, but money isn’t all that important to the Tigers. It really is a great thing for Auburn and the SEC. They really class up the league. Charles from Reeltown elevates Auburn to the level of Vandy.

What I like about Auburn is that the fans believe in their administration. You didn’t hear a word of doubt when Jay Jacobs hired Gene Chizik. What makes Auburn fans even more impressive is their faith in a coach that went 5-19 before being hired. There is a unity of purpose amongst the Tigers to which no other cult, err, school in the nation compares.

What I like about Auburn is the safe environment on campus where student-athletes of the highest caliber study. No football player would allegedly assault someone at a party, and Auburn would never invite a thief to play quarterback.

What I like about Auburn is defensive coordinator Ted Roof. I like the defensive gameplan put together by the Tigers before the Iron Bowl. It showed innovation and put the team in a chance to win the game. That is what you want your coaches to do. The rest of the coaching staff should look to Roof as a model of professionalism.

What I like about Auburn is that it will schedule strong out of conference games unlike some SEC schools. The Tigers are also not afraid to play a powerhouse team on a short week like Nick Saban’s Alabama Crimson Tide are afraid to do. See, the Tigers are playing a massive game against Mississippi State on a Thursday night after opening against perennial power Arkansas State. I like how Auburn isn’t afraid of the short week.

What I like about Auburn is that the school has a real depth of talent at quarterback. When players like Neil Caudle and Barrett Trotter are pushing the heir presumptive Cameron Newton for playing time then you know Auburn has an abundance of riches at signal caller.

What I like about Auburn’s 2010 defense is that it isn’t the 2009 version.

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    What I like about Auburn is the eternal optimism that makes them think that every year will be “THE YEAR”.
    That every runningback will be the next Bo jackson.
    That every QB will be better than Tim Tebow.
    That no matter if Bama has beaten them 2 times recently they flip out “6 in a row!” knowing that Bama has beaten them NINE TIMES IN A ROW!
    That they never can conceive any dishonor amoung their program while they point a finger at everyone else and yell ‘CHEAT”!

    That Auburn is quick to relive their glories and even quicker to forget their defeats (KUDZU, for one.)

    That auburn fans are among the most fanatical at trying to prove someone else is cheating…. Who else would lay in a ditch full of sewage waste for hours on in, just to snap a Dollar store disposable camera pic of Jerrell Harris’ cousin Filo taking his brown bag lunch to work.
    What I like about auburn…. there is always a conspiracy theory aimed at the west side of the state.

    That petty thugs like Cam Newton can not only get a second chance but be treated like a conquering hero….just for showing up on campus.

    That Walt Williams can do the greenback handshake with an auburn booster and everyone looks away like ignoring a fart in church.

    That Auburn boosters take the initiative in giving boatrides and laptops to blue chip players who attend the University of Alabama.

    That Spencer Region can say mindless drivel like “WORE EGUL!” and not mean it yet the AU fans think they have stolen the greatest lineman in the universe.

    That lawsuits never seem to stick to auburn.
    That Auburn all but owns the Birmingham news.
    That even after Pat Dye almost got Auburn the Death penalty… they still keep him on the payroll doing that thing he does…. (What was that thing again?)

    That in spite of losing to 5 SEC teams this season, the fans think auburn is a National contender becasue of a flukey Iron Bowl, that Bama used as a tune up game for Florida.

    That a piss poor bunch of recruiters can come together and miraculously put together a top 5 class …..
    That every year, they ARE conetenders for the number1 back in the nation. Even if he doesnt say so.
    That all of their Alumni I meet speak such bad southern english that mississippians point and laugh saying “Where did this redneck come from”.
    that they had to make up stories explaing the eagle mascot, Trooper Taylor’s hat turned backward, Pat Dye’s pants, and other assorted guffaws. And they actually tried to make them sound glorious.
    That if not for the Iron Bowl, auburn would never have any shot at a championship at the end of the season.

    What I really like about auburn is that even though you can drive through it and see that it is totally unremarkable and average at best… They claim it is the loveliest village on the plains. I also like that 95% of the auburn alumni couldnt tell you what poem that is from orrecite the Auburn creed… But they do wear those spiffy auburn baseball caps and flip burgers really, well actually.

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