Soccer? No thanks

Those worried about the future of America should not worry about politics. It is irrelevant whether Democrat, Republican or independent controls the American government. There is a threat beyond anything political or even economic collapse. The great threat to America’s future is soccer.

Soccer is the vilest sport. It is a sport so mind numbingly boring, it makes three-hour speeches by banana republic dictators seem entertaining. And this is what soccer really is—it is an attempt to eliminate the traits which made America great.

Interest in soccer undermines the fighting virtues. As Theodore Roosevelt said in a speech to the Naval War College, “The minute that a race loses the hard fighting virtues, then, no matter what else it may retain, no matter how skilled in commerce and finance, in science or art, it has lost its proud right to stand as the equal of the best.”

All the great American sports teach the martial virtues. Baseball, football and basketball teach eye-hand coordination. Eye-hand coordination is important for swinging a sword, flying a jet or aiming a gun. American sports teach the skills necessary to win a war, defeat a country, save liberty. What does soccer teach? Eye-foot coordination. What military application is that? While it might be good for the cheese-eating surrender monkeys of Europe, Americans are better than that.

Examine closer the American sports. Baseball places a man with a stick against a man hurling a hard object toward the batter’s body. Basketball provides a gruelling workout of the body and requires intense concentration to send a ball through the hoop. Football teaches the virtue of collision; it shows a man he can take punishment and still do his job. What does soccer do? It teaches people to be crybabies; those players just flop around on the field at the slightest touch begging for help from the officials. What kind of a message is that?

Soccer’s ties and its mindless standing around undermine the very best of the manly traits. The ability to win is thwarted by so many ties. Without the possibility of victory, competition is cheapened; without the possibility of success, the desire is reduced. It might not be like the Pax on fictional Miranda, but it is still bad.

Soccer is a virus that threatens all the best of America. It is every American’s duty to ignore the World Cup and do something productive—like focus on recruiting.