Soccer? No thanks

Those worried about the future of America should not worry about politics. It is irrelevant whether Democrat, Republican or independent controls the American government. There is a threat beyond anything political or even economic collapse. The great threat to America’s future is soccer.

Soccer is the vilest sport. It is a sport so mind numbingly boring, it makes three-hour speeches by banana republic dictators seem entertaining. And this is what soccer really is—it is an attempt to eliminate the traits which made America great.

Interest in soccer undermines the fighting virtues. As Theodore Roosevelt said in a speech to the Naval War College, “The minute that a race loses the hard fighting virtues, then, no matter what else it may retain, no matter how skilled in commerce and finance, in science or art, it has lost its proud right to stand as the equal of the best.”

All the great American sports teach the martial virtues. Baseball, football and basketball teach eye-hand coordination. Eye-hand coordination is important for swinging a sword, flying a jet or aiming a gun. American sports teach the skills necessary to win a war, defeat a country, save liberty. What does soccer teach? Eye-foot coordination. What military application is that? While it might be good for the cheese-eating surrender monkeys of Europe, Americans are better than that.

Examine closer the American sports. Baseball places a man with a stick against a man hurling a hard object toward the batter’s body. Basketball provides a gruelling workout of the body and requires intense concentration to send a ball through the hoop. Football teaches the virtue of collision; it shows a man he can take punishment and still do his job. What does soccer do? It teaches people to be crybabies; those players just flop around on the field at the slightest touch begging for help from the officials. What kind of a message is that?

Soccer’s ties and its mindless standing around undermine the very best of the manly traits. The ability to win is thwarted by so many ties. Without the possibility of victory, competition is cheapened; without the possibility of success, the desire is reduced. It might not be like the Pax on fictional Miranda, but it is still bad.

Soccer is a virus that threatens all the best of America. It is every American’s duty to ignore the World Cup and do something productive—like focus on recruiting.

21 Comments

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  1. 2
    Pluto

    Always have hated it. It has been pushed by the Elites in Professional Sports. Guess What ? Americans still for the most part – don’t give a damn.
    What I saw in South Africa was a big turn off. Those cheap plastic horns – that noise – beehive stirred up. Fuck that.
    Give me the cowbells in Starkville any day.

  2. 3
    Rod

    Wow… Just wow. I haven’t read such an ignorant article in a long time. I have no idea how this got published. Just because your feeble mind can’t comprehend the complicated subtleties of soccer, doesn’t mean you can dismiss it all together. Soccer is quite popular on campus if you would care to notice. I see many students wearing soccer jerseys everyday. Now when it comes to your stupid war analogy, soccer players with the exeception of cross country runners have to most endurance of any athletes, and soccer leads to better reflex as does any other sport. You can be fat and good at baseball or football but not soccer. Alabama is already steriotyped as ignorant please stop reinforcing that.

  3. 4
    BAMAToNE

    Agree with Rod. You’re an absolute idiot sometimes, Cappy. Let’s just hate and ban everything we don’t understand our like. Screw everyone else who might enjoy it. This site sure has taken a nose dive over the last year. Be nice if you just stuck to Bama football.

  4. 7
    Pluto

    Hold on here for a minute. Some of us – just don’t like the Damn Sport – yet it is force fed to us in the Media and Elitists like you – that it is something much more entertaining and enlightening than Football and IF we don’t like it – we’re just a damn bunch of Rubes.
    Shit Guy.

  5. 8
    Rod

    If when you say force fed to you, you mean on ESPN once a week or two when it’s not the World Cup, then yeah you’re totally right.

  6. 11
    finebammer

    well now the us is out.

    watching nascar, cheering for the red sox and waiting for crimson tide football.

  7. 12
    Alex Hamilton

    What’s this “World Cup” of which you speak? There’s nothing intellectual about soccer at all. Saban’s zone coverages are more interesting and intellectually stimulating than watching the third world play the a game that doesn’t require money for equipment. Perhaps Rod could fornicate himself with his iron cousin?

    And Fuck Auburn!!!!!!!!

    I can’t wait to kick your sorry, no good, piece of shit asses back to Lee County in five months. Kiss the Rings Tigger Bitches!!!!

  8. 14
    Crimsonite from the planet Crimson in a galaxyfarfar away. FormerlyE.G. White

    I live in Mexico and have over the years become caught up in their national fervor for futbol; fueled by the hated Bama-Barner type rivalry, except on a national level, between the America Aguilas and the Guadalajara Chivas. The country comes to a standstill when these two play. I by the way pull for the Chivas whose colors are red and white. They also have more championships than anybody. About the same number as Bama. It’s a sport. What more is neccesary. Don’t tell me that you enjoy watching 75% of the events in track and field any better. And nothing is slower or more booring than a 15 inning 1-0 baseball game, except f–king golf. Golf, now there’s a game? that should never be allowed on tv. But, I’m not a big futbol fan. It is a booring game at least until the kickoff at the end of tied championship series matches. I will give them credit for aerobic conditioning though. And you’re right – partisan bad calls and player injury acting is enough to turn anyone off. But it is a sport.

  9. 15
    BPI

    I must admit, I got caught up in this media fueled soccer craze , and actually watched a few games……And it still sux….

  10. 16
    Taxman

    In the past I have tried to watch this crap, it without a doubt is the dullist sport ever created. I would rather watch the grass they play on grow than have to watch the idoits in their short shorts play on it. I am just glad we lost our last game, now I will not have to hear about this drivel for another four years.

  11. 17
    Crimsonite from the planet Crimson in a galaxyfarfar away. FormerlyE.G. White

    Looks like USCe is handling UCLA easily. What a damn shame that all three of Bama’s pitchers decided to take the day off in the Super Regionals. If Jake just had a few feet more on the last swing of the third game we could have been where the Chickens are right now. Shit! RTR!

  12. 18
    Crimsonite from the planet Crimson in a galaxyfarfar away. FormerlyE.G. White

    Looks like USCe is handling UCLA easily. What a damn shame that all three of Bama’s pitchers decided to take the day off in the Super Regionals. If Jake just had a few feet more on the last swing of the third game we could have been where the Chickens are right now. Shit!

  13. 19
    sammyjoe

    According to my daughter: What do kids do when they can’t play football, baseball, softball, basketball, volleyball…? They play kick-ball…er, soccer.

    All one has to do is run and kick…really difficult stuff, that soccer is.

  14. 20
    Crimsonite from the planet Crimson in a galaxyfarfar away. FormerlyE.G. White

    Sammyjoe. Not liking something and or saying it’s booring is one thing. Everybody has the right to like or dislike something. But what you said about kicking the ball is down right retarded and there is no need for it. As much as I love American sports, I’ll tell you right now, not a one of them requires the skill level that it takes to play soccer at the world class level. Not only do they have far more aerobic stamina, but the skill neccesary to maintain control against other trained players, of a rolling and flying ball at breakneck speed using only feet, knees and head is beyond the understanding of a dumbass that has never done it outside his backyard or with anyone who also is no better than he is. Find something more productive to do than come on here and show your stupidity. RTR.

  15. 21
    BPI

    Eggy, you just described yourself to a T.

    Soccer is boring. I would rather watch grass grow.

    You could say the same thing about any sport or competition. If you asked the best checkers player in the world how challenging that game was, he would argue that it is the most challenging game on the planet. But it would still be boring.

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